Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...

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  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    I have never thought about myself in terms of a number.

    ever.

    9.99/10

    I'm a 9.87. Do I have a chance??

    False, everyone on the Internet is a 10.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    Maybe take a lesson from these guys and show some confidence and aim high as well?
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
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    Please throw away the idea of rating someone as a number on a scale. It's unfair and quite shallow.

    I love Steve Buschemi.

    I love people with talent, confidence, a sense of humour, ambition and kindness. None of those things can be quantified by a number. Let go of that and I'm sure things will go easier for you.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Maybe you should try something different than a dating site where giving someone a number is what people do. Put yourself out there. Do something civic-minded, join a singles activity group (make friends first....)

    When I was single, I dated men who would rate higher than me on a bracket. And lower. Looks didn't have any impact on who were jerks and who were decent guys. I'm sure the same rules apply to women.

    As for people who date each other based on a ranking scale, they get what they ask for. Shallow's shallow at all brackets.
  • Alex_Wilken
    Alex_Wilken Posts: 59
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    I have dated woman ranging from 1 - 10 on the scale and let me tell you the one that I fell the hardest for was a 6. It's all about personality.
  • miriamwithcats
    miriamwithcats Posts: 1,120 Member
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    In this world of TV/ other media, it seems that people are so quick to judge other people and discount them. Generations ago, when people read books, lived in small communities, you took time to get to know people to find a partner. People were not obsessed with looks, but more interested in character. My son is dealing with this on the male side of it. He is highly intelligent, kind, caring, attractive although a bit overweight. Yet as soon as women hear that he is unable to work due to being born with club feet, being hard of hearing, and having problems with depression, they immediately dump him. For many women, it is all about the paycheck, even though they are now, thankfully, able to earn almost as much (that damn glass ceiling) as a man. This is wrong too. We should be looking for others that share the same values, hopes and dreams, not how big their paycheck is or how hot they are. There was a great old old rock and roll song about marrying an ugly woman since she would be good to you. It was making fun of this focus on looks.
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
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    Right there with you.

    I hate it when ugly women won't lower their expectations and settle for me.
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I have to kind of agree. My guy.. ( imo) is freakin HOT! I adore the crap outta him! He met me when i was 240 lbs.. ( a man who is used to thin girls). He loves me though, and never judged me... he just loved ME.. and tha'ts simply one of the best feelings ever... to be cared for, judgement free.
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
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    Right there with you.

    I hate it when ugly women won't lower their expectations and settle for me.

    hahah shush!
  • 1newcat
    1newcat Posts: 75 Member
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    I have never thought about myself in terms of a number.

    ever.

    9.99/10

    I'm a 9.87. Do I have a chance??

    False, everyone on the Internet is a 10.

    Lmao!!!!:laugh:
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
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    Being ranked by society as lower than a 5 does not obligate anyone to settle for someone also ranking in that same "pool" of fish. I can't imagine having someone look at me, say Wow I love your personality but I was aiming for a 7 at least, sorry :)

    Ive never understood the concept of settling. If you want someone who youd "rate" as a 10 whats to stop you from pursuing it, short of a restraining order? Id be deeply offended if anyone ever told me I had to settle. Id rate my hubby an easy 7, while giving myself a 4. (Low self esteem, right?) Im glad I didn't settle.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    yeah I didn't bother to read half the responses to this, but I do agree that you need to get over the shallowness of it all....as my father always put it.....son, go for what you can get....\m/
  • GaiaGirl1992
    GaiaGirl1992 Posts: 459 Member
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    OP is just using the ratings as an example...say a guy with a horrible personality--douchy, no job and plays endless video games without showering for days wants 'his' woman to be Wonder Woman who cooks, cleans, has a perfect body, works a high class/high pay job and be popping out kids simultaneously. Guys who expect all while doing nothing.
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I have never thought about myself in terms of a number.

    ever.

    9.99/10

    I'm a 9.87. Do I have a chance??

    False, everyone on the Internet is a 10.

    Lmao!!!!:laugh:

    Pfftt, all the Myspace angles, and overexposed photos make us all 15's!!
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
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    dumb question..... why shouldn't these so-called "3" guys go after a "10"? If they get them, good on them, right?

    Maybe the 10s see the 3 as an 11?
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    Here's my blunt honest opinion - You have a rating scale.... and you have it based solely on looks.... are you SURE that's all its based on? I mean, perception is a ***** and all...and that seems to be how you are coming off. Butt hurt over the fact that you apparently dont have what it takes to get a good man.


    Get off the look factor, and go for the whole person. Until you do, you will continue to be pissed at the world.
  • jfang86
    jfang86 Posts: 19
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    I think this has a lot to do with the fact that you're on an online dating site. They're designed to be superficial and you can't make a personality-based connection with people until you mssg them and they mssg you back.

    I agree with the folks on the thread though that have said that it's a bit of a high school mindset. I remember back in high school I was always really bummed that I couldn't land a date, no matter whom I crushed on or even wanted to ask out. I was pretty much rock-bottom on the social ladder and figured I was basically undate-able.

    Now that I'm like 10 years out of college, I don't feel nearly the same way. People aren't "in my league" or "out of my league" people are just people, some of whom I'm attracted to and some of whom I'm not. Nobody's on a rating system, people are just looking for physical and emotional sparks. It may be frustrating to be single and not feel like you're catching anyone's eye, but guaranteed everyone is feeling as insecure and marginalized as you are. Keep putting yourself out there (but maybe not only on dating sites) and you'll make the right connection.

    Also, confidence does go a long way. I think I'm more interesting to other folks because I stopped thinking of myself as "undateable" and just though of myself as "me, take it or leave it". When I stopped feeling so desperate (and stopped caring so much about the guy I'm with defining me and my self-worth), I found guys were a lot more interested.

    Edit: Also, everyone is a 10 in the eyes of the person who loves them.
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    I love Steve Buscemi and find him very attractive. That's really all I need to say about that rubbish post.
  • katieinwaiting07
    katieinwaiting07 Posts: 4
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    wow i think this whole thing is really shallow. You may think youre an 8 but to some other guy? you may be fuuuuuugly. and who is to say? I see a lot of nasty women at walmart who dress like they think theyre a 10. Who knows? maybe their men like it that way. i dont know! you dont know! If you have someone who loves you for you? Who is anyone else to judge? Its about you and your happiness together, not what society rates you as solely based on physical appearance. You should be ashamed of this post. I know a lot of women dont find alec baldwin attractive. i do. i think hes very handsome. so. its all about preference.
  • Bumbeen
    Bumbeen Posts: 263 Member
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    The key to success in all things is often what others may see as a delusional level of self-confidence.
    For years I wondered "How the hell did that guy get her?" or "How did he get the balls to ask her out?"

    The answer was in the question, he had the balls I didn't have.

    I understand some women rate those qualities quite high.

    I agree with this.

    Something important to note. Women can find behavior very attractive, and this is why sometimes you see ugly guys with women who look like models. On the flip-side, most men will not lower their standards for physical attractiveness based on behavior. They will a little bit, but not nearly as much as women.

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