Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...
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Being ranked by society as lower than a 5 does not obligate anyone to settle for someone also ranking in that same "pool" of fish. I can't imagine having someone look at me, say Wow I love your personality but I was aiming for a 7 at least, sorry
Ive never understood the concept of settling. If you want someone who youd "rate" as a 10 whats to stop you from pursuing it, short of a restraining order? Id be deeply offended if anyone ever told me I had to settle. Id rate my hubby an easy 7, while giving myself a 4. (Low self esteem, right?) Im glad I didn't settle.0 -
yeah I didn't bother to read half the responses to this, but I do agree that you need to get over the shallowness of it all....as my father always put it.....son, go for what you can get....\m/0
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OP is just using the ratings as an example...say a guy with a horrible personality--douchy, no job and plays endless video games without showering for days wants 'his' woman to be Wonder Woman who cooks, cleans, has a perfect body, works a high class/high pay job and be popping out kids simultaneously. Guys who expect all while doing nothing.0
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I have never thought about myself in terms of a number.
ever.
9.99/10
I'm a 9.87. Do I have a chance??
False, everyone on the Internet is a 10.
Lmao!!!!:laugh:
Pfftt, all the Myspace angles, and overexposed photos make us all 15's!!0 -
dumb question..... why shouldn't these so-called "3" guys go after a "10"? If they get them, good on them, right?
Maybe the 10s see the 3 as an 11?0 -
Here's my blunt honest opinion - You have a rating scale.... and you have it based solely on looks.... are you SURE that's all its based on? I mean, perception is a ***** and all...and that seems to be how you are coming off. Butt hurt over the fact that you apparently dont have what it takes to get a good man.
Get off the look factor, and go for the whole person. Until you do, you will continue to be pissed at the world.0 -
I think this has a lot to do with the fact that you're on an online dating site. They're designed to be superficial and you can't make a personality-based connection with people until you mssg them and they mssg you back.
I agree with the folks on the thread though that have said that it's a bit of a high school mindset. I remember back in high school I was always really bummed that I couldn't land a date, no matter whom I crushed on or even wanted to ask out. I was pretty much rock-bottom on the social ladder and figured I was basically undate-able.
Now that I'm like 10 years out of college, I don't feel nearly the same way. People aren't "in my league" or "out of my league" people are just people, some of whom I'm attracted to and some of whom I'm not. Nobody's on a rating system, people are just looking for physical and emotional sparks. It may be frustrating to be single and not feel like you're catching anyone's eye, but guaranteed everyone is feeling as insecure and marginalized as you are. Keep putting yourself out there (but maybe not only on dating sites) and you'll make the right connection.
Also, confidence does go a long way. I think I'm more interesting to other folks because I stopped thinking of myself as "undateable" and just though of myself as "me, take it or leave it". When I stopped feeling so desperate (and stopped caring so much about the guy I'm with defining me and my self-worth), I found guys were a lot more interested.
Edit: Also, everyone is a 10 in the eyes of the person who loves them.0 -
I love Steve Buscemi and find him very attractive. That's really all I need to say about that rubbish post.0
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wow i think this whole thing is really shallow. You may think youre an 8 but to some other guy? you may be fuuuuuugly. and who is to say? I see a lot of nasty women at walmart who dress like they think theyre a 10. Who knows? maybe their men like it that way. i dont know! you dont know! If you have someone who loves you for you? Who is anyone else to judge? Its about you and your happiness together, not what society rates you as solely based on physical appearance. You should be ashamed of this post. I know a lot of women dont find alec baldwin attractive. i do. i think hes very handsome. so. its all about preference.0
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The key to success in all things is often what others may see as a delusional level of self-confidence.
For years I wondered "How the hell did that guy get her?" or "How did he get the balls to ask her out?"
The answer was in the question, he had the balls I didn't have.
I understand some women rate those qualities quite high.
I agree with this.
Something important to note. Women can find behavior very attractive, and this is why sometimes you see ugly guys with women who look like models. On the flip-side, most men will not lower their standards for physical attractiveness based on behavior. They will a little bit, but not nearly as much as women.0 -
Have you ever noticed that a "3" becomes a 7 or 8 or 9 the second the girl they like decides to like them back?0
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MOST Guys do not necessarily choose the girl they date based on looks alone. Attraction is important, yes, but a self-confident man is after more than a pretty face..
Frankly, and I hate to sound bad here, but most guys choose not to date a girl because she "comes off" as being a PITA.. Negative, Neurotic, Clingy, Demanding, Cranky, High Maint, or whatever other thing that causes a failure to connect. Sounds petty, but its common and its a REAL ISSUE with guys.
So when you're looking in the mirror comparing yourself to that guy and what he deserves, maybe he gave it a shot, but "felt" you fall into one of those categories above.
Or.. Of course, if the guy has unrealistic expectations on what kind of "babe factor" he deserves, then he's probably kinda nutty anyway.. So, a deserving girl would be better off NOT to fall in with that kind of character.!
Character Does Matter...0 -
I'M NUMBER 1! I'M NUMBER 1! I'M NUMBER 1! I'M NUMBER 1! I'M NUMBER 1! I'M NUMBER 1!
unfortunately, it's on a 10 point scale...0 -
dumb question..... why shouldn't these so-called "3" guys go after a "10"? If they get them, good on them, right?
Maybe the 10s see the 3 as an 11?
my point exactly.0 -
Watch the movie "13 Going on 30", that will explain a lot!0
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I love me some 3's and 4's. Maybe they're just waiting till I get round to them?0
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i'm trying to understand this lol...I really am...but...as far as a guy being a 3 or whatever goes..what if he thinks he's a 10 lol...who decides what this number is...
Also who decides what she is...these ratings only seem to be based on looks and to me anyway...thats only a portion of the whole thing
I guess its based on attraction really isn't it
This....0 -
I don't rate. But if I did I would take one that wanted to change into an 8 and build her up to it. Then when she got to an 8 she would leave. lol. I need to start lower maybe a -3.0
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I am sure if you ask enough people, you will find me rated all across the spectrum, from a 1 up to the 8-10 range, depending on what the woman likes. After all, it is subjective, not objective. But regardless of what anyone else ranks me, I am attracted to what I am attracted to. And if I want to date, that is what I will date. At the current time, I have not met anyone who I want to date. So I am currently single. So what? I don't need a woman in my life. It would be nice, but it isn't a necessisity. I see no reason to compromise what I want, whether it be in the looks department or in the personality department. You date the whole package, not just one or the other. And as such, the WHOLE package plays into the decision whether to date or not.
Thinking of yourself as a victim who can never get a chance from what you seem to consider sub-par looking guys no doubt affects the way you carry yourself, and just makes you less attractive.0 -
I dunno... I have a list of standards that are based on my own issues, and only one of them is anything to do with appearance, and again, that's MY issue, not his. And that is simply that he has to be taller than me, and again, it's because it has given me SUCH a complex in past relationships, I don't know if I can get past it again. So far, I can't. But then, I've never had a normal, loving relationship either, so maybe I'm shooting myself in the foot.
But then... the few times I've been approached, I've still given them a shot, until they get to point where I just can't make it work. And sadly, none of them have even culminated in a 1st date, because I scare them off when I talk to them. :P *THAT* is their issue, not mine. Truth is, the ONLY thing I'm confident in is who I am and what's in my head - I give a rat's tail about the rest of it... and that becomes real apparent in a first conversation.
I know myself, I know my issues, I know where I come from... and I'm still very much a work in progress - and until someone is willing to put up with my eccentricities and get through those walls, I'm happy being single and working my butt off!
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First off this is a good thread, it does make you go huhhhhh?? lol... I'm not sure though that it matters completely on what you refer to as holding out for a 10. Soemtimes when 2 ppl click then 2 ppl click. Just this last Saturday I was at Wla Mart and saw this woman, she was nice looking, pretty attractive, then I saw her man. Wowwww was she a upgrade for him!!! lol.. I passed him a cpl of times in the isles, and realized he was polite, mannerly and seemed like a regular decent guy. It happens. If your having troubles dating have you thought maybe you could be too picky?? Not looking at the big picture? You seem to have a lot going for you, I'm sure it will work out.....0
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I'm a 3
My momma told me to shoot for the stars.0 -
I don't condone the whole rating system unless I'm drunk at a bar with my friends, but instead of rating people, and going for who you think is "in your league" how about you just try going for whoever you want, and leave all of the rating BS at the door, and see what happens. Everyone is different, and they like different things about people. I would consider my wife way out of my league, and I was a huge fat *kitten* when she fell in love with me, but I'm sure to her I'm high up on her scale, and you know what I didn't let it bother me that she was out of my league, because I liked her so why the heck wouldn't I try.0
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I hope what I'm going to say isn't too controversial, but when I was in the Navy, I happened to know of a bunch of guys who created this sort of top-down list of all the girls they knew that were available. Every girl was on that list, though the "most attractive" were on the top.
In terms of "scoring" with a woman, I found a trend of guys going for the gold, without regard to how cool, interesting, funny, smart, or able to connect with a guy the girl was. It was purely about the score. Furthermore...even less than savory girls were on that list, which kind of means that, if all else fails, even the biggest, scare-your-kid-with-hairy-nose-mole girls had a chance, so long as the "hot" girls were a no-go.
I think most guys are perfectly capable of being attracted to all girls, but when it comes to looking for a "hook-up," they first notice the most quintessentially pretty girl in the room. That might be why dating websites are difficult for average girls. I've know far more guys going to those websites to find "hook-ups" than actual relationship, but that's not always the case.
I've been very self-conscious about my looks as I've aged and gain weight, but I realize that it's okay for my guy to "recognize" attractiveness in other women (not that he would EVER say that, it's just my own personal acceptance), that his love for me is deeper than my looks or age.
So, the guys that are going for the top-list girls aren't really trying to find someone with whom they can share a special connection. That sometimes takes time to find, and even a top-list guy (which could be how you are attracted to him vs. superficial criteria) will find you to be a top-list girl.
Also, I find guys to be attracted to the weirdest things in women. It's not always the same thing, and it's not always what you expect. I remember in my late teens into twenty years old or so, there were guys talking about some girl they would all like to hook-up with. She was short, a little stocky, had tons of freckles and was very top heavy---she was certainly cute, but not in the magazine-way that I thought all guys wanted. It kind of gave me hope, I suppose.0 -
I am a 3 on a good day. I married a 9 or better. I should have held out for a 3 or 4 like me. Just sayin. Because 3/3 is 100%, or to say, a 10, whereas 3/9 is only 33%, or to say, a 3.3.
Its relationship math, and its screwed.0 -
As an aside, I wouldn't want to date a girl who ranked me lower than herself like she was doing me some kind of favour.
I also would never want to hear that she had "settled", whether said to me or overheard her saying that to her friends.
In fact, I don't think I'd want to date someone who rates people. Period.0 -
I'll take the one that makes my belly do a little flip flop when i see him.
no number for that.
it just is.0 -
I'm generally not interested in grown women who view relationships the same way as a middle school lunch table of tweens would.
That is because you are a 10. You get to be more picky.....
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Some women find a man attractive if he is stable and able to support her financially. I dated cute jerks and they did nothing for me. I decided on a mature older guy who was college educated, motivated and treated me like a princess. I have no regrets. He has supported me emotionaly, financially and put me through college without me having to work. I say that overrates looks on every level, I am a big fan of security. If it was all about passion I would still be with my cheating ex. Also a great personality can bump your number ten fold in my opinion. That's not to say you don't have to be attracted to your significant other on some level, but good character just enhances appeal.
Why settle for either? In my opinion I got both. I got the guy who I find very attractive, intelectual and financially stable and has provided for our family very well over the years...0 -
Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him.0
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