This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

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dutchess4884
dutchess4884 Posts: 45
in Motivation and Support
I started on this site over a year ago and found that it was hard to stay on here, while I was looking for support I actually found a lot of negativity. I was orginally on the hcg diet and actually found a lot of success on it and don't regret it at all. What i did regret was sharing it with the people on this site. I got hateful post on my threads , emails, ect.. I was shocked. It's very rare that you find that a place were you can be honest about your weight and your struggles and find like minded people who share the same experience. So after taking a break I've decided to try again because charting my food and seeing my weight loss post each day was motivational. I also really loved the support I gave and recieved from the positive people on this site. So if your looking for a positive person to help you be motivated then add me and hopefully we can help each other.
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Replies

  • hrubyk1804
    hrubyk1804 Posts: 51
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    I'm brand new too and I agree! When you have weight to lose you need all the positive reinforcement you can get! Feel free to add me if you like...and we can help each other! Good luck!
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    ITA. Seriously. I cannot imagine some of these people acting this way offline. It is bullying behavior pure & simple. Just one small example: a newbie asked a question about calf exercises, and someone posted sarcastically that calves were in the meadow. Of course several regulars had to say how clever that was (it was????). I'm sure the newbie made the unforgiveaqble mistake of using the word "toning" thus opening him or her up to obscene ridicule by the forum regs who claim they are sick to death of answering the same questions although no one's forcing them to do it. They just need to step on someone to feel good about themselves. There are worst example of bullying here, but that one stuck in my mind as it was very similar to a sarcastic response my middle schooler had heard the week before. At middle school.

    Oh and then there are the constant posts about women just being jealous of each other. Sexism is alive and well here. Racism would never be tolerated (and it should never be!), but it's OK to rip women apart.
  • tlkrallman
    tlkrallman Posts: 82
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    It seems with every generation, the critiscm and bullying just gets worse and worse.
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Yknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.
  • christinewilli
    christinewilli Posts: 8 Member
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    Hi there. I've been here a few weeks, and I've found mostly positive people. It surprised me a bit that anyone would find bullying here, but sadly enough I know there is probably plenty of people that do it.
    I would be happy to be supportive if you would like to add me :)

    I hope you have better luck this time than you did last time! Its so sad to hear of that kind of attitude and behavior coming from people who should be able to understand each others issues..as we all have them here!

    Best of luck to you!
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Yknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    Feel free to add me. My friends and I very supportive of each other.

    Good luck to you this time around. You CAN do it!
  • Scrimples
    Scrimples Posts: 45
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    It's true. People can be very nasty when it comes to certain things and one of the biggies is that particular diet. I don't necessarily like the atmosphere either, but some days I just need to have some camaraderie with others doing the diet thing and pop in and read and occasionally reply. I'm so worried about anyone saying something about my food log that I never hit the complete entry button for the day. I can relate.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Ah, but sometimes it is. You can fight em, or ignore them. I mostly ignore them.

    That crowd is sure they've gotten it right... this time.

    Very sure. :drinker:

    Not sure why they think mocking everyone else is the right thing to do, but they do.

    And they seem oddly enthralled with snowflakes. :smile:

    I vote once more for making chit chat a group. Or at least an opt in event.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    For the most part, I really don't care what other people are doing. Some of my friends are low carb, some are low calorie and some are even bulking.

    I don't condone dangerous behaviors like ED's and the issue I have with VLCD is that your body can not get the basic nutrition that it needs to function properly if you only have 500 calories to work with.

    Otherwise, live and let live.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    I agree, they should start banning more of them.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Uh oh be careful they get hurt when you point out that the waters in MFP are shallow and you are tired of the sanctimonious blood thirsty big meanie bully sharks that like to circle and attack. You'll get a.."oh not another mean post." My point though is if this seems to be a constant thread then it appears that there may be some truth to the bully argument.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.
  • Vercell
    Vercell Posts: 437 Member
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    you can add me I wont be a bully
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
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    The internet is a nasty scary place, this site is no exeption. I've come to accept it.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    I love this sight everyone on my FL have been supportive to me. I however never take my issues to the threads. I have my friends who are privy to my diary and my everyday shenanigans. When you open the door for those who have not forged some kind of virtual bond with you, you will find people being down right honest. Sometimes honesty from those who are not your pals may come off as mean. Alas it is not. But please, if you don't want opinions positive or negative, don''t blast your stuff on the forums. Seriously, have you read some responses on Yahoo questions?
  • juliekaiser1988
    juliekaiser1988 Posts: 604 Member
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    it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.

    I've been in health care for 28 years. The HCG diet is the scariest one I've seen come through. I'm sorry you ran into bullies, but I have to agree that being supportive of someone who is doing something dangerous is encouraging the health risks. Most people don't do it to be mean, but they do it because of how serious of a health risk you are taking and that you are sharing with people who are here to find education about health and receiving such poor advice such as HCG diets, etc.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Many people have used this site to lose weight the RIGHT way, eating less and moving more. These are also the people that we all need to be listening to.

    Many people believe that HCG is a TERRIBLE and very unhealthy way to lose weight. Listen to this people as well.

    Some people want the quick way out. The magic pill. They don't want to do the work. Don't listen to these people.

    Eat Less
    Move More

    It's simple.
    Good Luck
  • Shanni827
    Shanni827 Posts: 76 Member
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    There are so many bullies on here and I too was very shocked to find that on a site for motivation to lose weight and eat healthy so many people were bashing others. Someone friended me on MFP and stalked my food diary daily. (I call them the Food Police) Every time I didn't eat at 1200 calories and someone said congrats on being under my calorie count this "friend" would post how horrible it was that people were congratulating others for starving their selves. I have tried the HCG diet as well and had some success, but I can't do it long term.

    Bottom line I say find the people that are supportive and the ones that aren't block them. Eat as little or as much as you feel comfortable to reach your goals. We are all here to lose weight and get healthy and none of us have the answer or we wouldn't be here! Feel free to friend those of us who are supportive of any attempt to become a better/healthier version of yourself!

    Good luck!
  • julzrus
    julzrus Posts: 5
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    I commend you for your efforts. Different plans work differently for different people. I know a few people
    who have had great success with the HCG. Don't feel threatened here- I just started
    and its amazing what I never wrote down! We should all be here to encourage and support eachother!
    Best of Luck!

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