This site should not be about weight loss bullies !

dutchess4884

I started on this site over a year ago and found that it was hard to stay on here, while I was looking for support I actually found a lot of negativity. I was orginally on the hcg diet and actually found a lot of success on it and don't regret it at all. What i did regret was sharing it with the people on this site. I got hateful post on my threads , emails, ect.. I was shocked. It's very rare that you find that a place were you can be honest about your weight and your struggles and find like minded people who share the same experience. So after taking a break I've decided to try again because charting my food and seeing my weight loss post each day was motivational. I also really loved the support I gave and recieved from the positive people on this site. So if your looking for a positive person to help you be motivated then add me and hopefully we can help each other.

hrubyk1804

I'm brand new too and I agree! When you have weight to lose you need all the positive reinforcement you can get! Feel free to add me if you like...and we can help each other! Good luck!

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

ITA. Seriously. I cannot imagine some of these people acting this way offline. It is bullying behavior pure & simple. Just one small example: a newbie asked a question about calf exercises, and someone posted sarcastically that calves were in the meadow. Of course several regulars had to say how clever that was (it was????). I'm sure the newbie made the unforgiveaqble mistake of using the word "toning" thus opening him or her up to obscene ridicule by the forum regs who claim they are sick to death of answering the same questions although no one's forcing them to do it. They just need to step on someone to feel good about themselves. There are worst example of bullying here, but that one stuck in my mind as it was very similar to a sarcastic response my middle schooler had heard the week before. At middle school.

Oh and then there are the constant posts about women just being jealous of each other. Sexism is alive and well here. Racism would never be tolerated (and it should never be!), but it's OK to rip women apart.

tlkrallman

It seems with every generation, the critiscm and bullying just gets worse and worse.

stephdeeable

Yknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.

christinewilli

Hi there. I've been here a few weeks, and I've found mostly positive people. It surprised me a bit that anyone would find bullying here, but sadly enough I know there is probably plenty of people that do it.
I would be happy to be supportive if you would like to add me

I hope you have better luck this time than you did last time! Its so sad to hear of that kind of attitude and behavior coming from people who should be able to understand each others issues..as we all have them here!

Best of luck to you!

chocl8girl

Yknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.

:flowerforyou:

Booksandbeaches

Feel free to add me. My friends and I very supportive of each other.

Good luck to you this time around. You CAN do it!

Scrimples

It's true. People can be very nasty when it comes to certain things and one of the biggies is that particular diet. I don't necessarily like the atmosphere either, but some days I just need to have some camaraderie with others doing the diet thing and pop in and read and occasionally reply. I'm so worried about anyone saying something about my food log that I never hit the complete entry button for the day. I can relate.

Sabine_Stroehm

Ah, but sometimes it is. You can fight em, or ignore them. I mostly ignore them.

That crowd is sure they've gotten it right... this time.

Very sure. :drinker:

Not sure why they think mocking everyone else is the right thing to do, but they do.

And they seem oddly enthralled with snowflakes.

I vote once more for making chit chat a group. Or at least an opt in event.

AllTehBeers

For the most part, I really don't care what other people are doing. Some of my friends are low carb, some are low calorie and some are even bulking.

I don't condone dangerous behaviors like ED's and the issue I have with VLCD is that your body can not get the basic nutrition that it needs to function properly if you only have 500 calories to work with.

Otherwise, live and let live.

My0WNinspiration

I agree, they should start banning more of them.

ldrosophila

Uh oh be careful they get hurt when you point out that the waters in MFP are shallow and you are tired of the sanctimonious blood thirsty big meanie bully sharks that like to circle and attack. You'll get a.."oh not another mean post." My point though is if this seems to be a constant thread then it appears that there may be some truth to the bully argument.

megsmom2

it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.

Vercell

you can add me I wont be a bully

Aviva92

The internet is a nasty scary place, this site is no exeption. I've come to accept it.

SoViLicious

I love this sight everyone on my FL have been supportive to me. I however never take my issues to the threads. I have my friends who are privy to my diary and my everyday shenanigans. When you open the door for those who have not forged some kind of virtual bond with you, you will find people being down right honest. Sometimes honesty from those who are not your pals may come off as mean. Alas it is not. But please, if you don't want opinions positive or negative, don''t blast your stuff on the forums. Seriously, have you read some responses on Yahoo questions?

juliekaiser1988

it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.

I've been in health care for 28 years. The HCG diet is the scariest one I've seen come through. I'm sorry you ran into bullies, but I have to agree that being supportive of someone who is doing something dangerous is encouraging the health risks. Most people don't do it to be mean, but they do it because of how serious of a health risk you are taking and that you are sharing with people who are here to find education about health and receiving such poor advice such as HCG diets, etc.

TylerJ76

Many people have used this site to lose weight the RIGHT way, eating less and moving more. These are also the people that we all need to be listening to.

Many people believe that HCG is a TERRIBLE and very unhealthy way to lose weight. Listen to this people as well.

Some people want the quick way out. The magic pill. They don't want to do the work. Don't listen to these people.

Eat Less
Move More

It's simple.
Good Luck

Shanni827

There are so many bullies on here and I too was very shocked to find that on a site for motivation to lose weight and eat healthy so many people were bashing others. Someone friended me on MFP and stalked my food diary daily. (I call them the Food Police) Every time I didn't eat at 1200 calories and someone said congrats on being under my calorie count this "friend" would post how horrible it was that people were congratulating others for starving their selves. I have tried the HCG diet as well and had some success, but I can't do it long term.

Bottom line I say find the people that are supportive and the ones that aren't block them. Eat as little or as much as you feel comfortable to reach your goals. We are all here to lose weight and get healthy and none of us have the answer or we wouldn't be here! Feel free to friend those of us who are supportive of any attempt to become a better/healthier version of yourself!

Good luck!

julzrus

I commend you for your efforts. Different plans work differently for different people. I know a few people
who have had great success with the HCG. Don't feel threatened here- I just started
and its amazing what I never wrote down! We should all be here to encourage and support eachother!
Best of Luck!

crazy4lulu

i ... am not a bully.... i am here to support and help in anyway i can.... i expect the same back. we are all human... we all have our faults. i am a personal trainer that has a massive sweet tooth. you can try to beat me down but i will still get up again. and again ...and again!!!!!

EvanKeel

Sorry, most of the time it isn't bullying. Don't get me wrong. It's rude and uncalled for. At best, many of those responses assume a level of informality and "friendship" that only exists in the heads of the person being rude--at least in relation to the OP. It's more likely they just enjoy the attention they get from attempting to be witty at someone else's expense.

I wouldn't call it bullying though. Not to say it can't happen, but I think people should be a little careful with that word these days.

firstsip

ITA. Seriously. I cannot imagine some of these people acting this way offline. It is bullying behavior pure & simple. Just one small example: a newbie asked a question about calf exercises, and someone posted sarcastically that calves were in the meadow. Of course several regulars had to say how clever that was (it was????). I'm sure the newbie made the unforgiveaqble mistake of using the word "toning" thus opening him or her up to obscene ridicule by the forum regs who claim they are sick to death of answering the same questions although no one's forcing them to do it. They just need to step on someone to feel good about themselves. There are worst example of bullying here, but that one stuck in my mind as it was very similar to a sarcastic response my middle schooler had heard the week before. At middle school.

Oh and then there are the constant posts about women just being jealous of each other. Sexism is alive and well here. Racism would never be tolerated (and it should never be!), but it's OK to rip women apart.

That's not bullying. It's called a joke. It wasn't at the person's expense, it was wordplay.

All you people who mistake humor, or even sarcasm, with the "use of force and coercion to bully and intimidate others" must live in a very pleasant world. Really. When I was getting chairs pulled out from under me, cornered in hallways and berated for sticking my neck out for quieter kids, and consistently called "ugly," "horseface" and given carrots when I walked in a room, I could have gone for a joke that wasn't about *me*, but was about a funny coincidence of words. Goddamn Shakespeare used wordplay similar to the one you commented on; and that's really considered bullying by you?

And the people who "rip" apart women are generally not the same people making the clever wordplay.

Who are these "they" and "them"? It seems like anyone that disagrees with someone, or makes a joke they don't get, or just grinds their gears, becomes part of this inexplicable other of "bullies."

That's. Not. Bullying.

This thread comes up all the time, yes. Does that mean there's a problem? Maybe, but not of "bullying."

josiereside

I agree with you 100%... sometimes I am leery to post something. You can have an opinion but you should not criticize someone for doing something... I don't always agree with what others are doing but if I voice my opinion I will say something like, well this worked for me. Some people don't get that it is not a one size fits all.

Ed98043

I've only been on here 3 days and I've already been bullied, but it was my fault for wandering over into the kiddie pool (Chit Chat section). So far from what I've read in the other sections, people here are generally nicer than most internet boards. lol But there's definitely something about the internet that brings out the worst in people.

Aviva92

It's true. People can be very nasty when it comes to certain things and one of the biggies is that particular diet. I don't necessarily like the atmosphere either, but some days I just need to have some camaraderie with others doing the diet thing and pop in and read and occasionally reply. I'm so worried about anyone saying something about my food log that I never hit the complete entry button for the day. I can relate.

If one of my friends decided to criticize my food log I'd be fine with telling them off. I'm not afraid.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

OP - Without knowing fully what was posted...keep in mind that perception and interpretation of written word is dramatically impacted by your emotions at the moment you read.

For instance....you were on HCG, you found some success. I see that with you being back you did not get what you were looking for. Nothing has been stated as to why you are no longer on HCG. I'm pretty sure there were comments made about that choice being unsafe, not suitable for long-term, and that eat so little is unhealthy. IMHO, had you taken a healthier and more lifestyle driven process you would most likely be in a better position, both physically and financially.

Being "bullied" on this site, can be taken simply by misreading how I wrote that. Rather than take everything you see in a negative manner, take the positives, look at the what you percieve as negative for positive influence, and skip the BS.

moustache_flavored_lube

Bully is quite the new buzzword. All these adults that complain about getting bullied are ridiculous.

Someone disagreeing with you on the internet != bullying

Someone making a joke on a thread you post != bullying

Glad you lost weight and stuck around the sight

Oh an HGC is terribly unhealthy

Paijj

This is why I lurk on the threads, post very rarely(and then in mostly off topic threads) and I would never feel comfortable posting my back story . Just from reading other threads, I know I would get a ton of negativity. I came here because it's a great way to hold MYSELF accountable with the food tracker and I do troll the community because I enjoy the success stories and inspiration I get from pics and success stories. Welcome back...

mcedes02

I've been on for quite some time and have been very timid about asking for new friends to help push me thru the last part of my journey for that very reason. I've read A LOT of nasty posts on here. I don't give a crap what ppl think of me. I'm doing this the best I can!! Feel free to add me!!