This site should not be about weight loss bullies !
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it isn't being a bully to disagree with someone. it can sometimes be stated badly or rudely, but most people here genuinely want to help others...and if they see that someone is doing something counter-productive or downright dangerous, they aren't shy about saying so. Supporting unhealthy behavior isn't being supportive, its enabling. I agree that maybe there are a few who take a little too much glee in being corrective though.
What she said.
I've been here for over 2 years and I haven't had the same experience as you have...what I've taken the time to observe and learn about the site though, is that a lot of the people that have been here a long time, have gotten to know each other and like to pester and badger in good humor and new people see it and get defensive or uptight and then the whole thread goes south. The old timers have a sense of humor and use it to make this weight loss "journey" more fun. Next time someone says something "offensive" look and see how long they've been using MFP. If they have a ton of posts, chances are, most of them are in support of other members of the site. Some may be to poke fun at a friend and watch the new people get their panties in a wad.0 -
I agree. The other day a woman added me and immediately started accusing me of having an eating disorder and told me I was ruining my body and need help. She wouldn't leave it alone even when I didn't reply. And then she ran my stats through a bunch of calculators and told me how wrong it was. I don't know when it became okay to be rude to thin people. If it's not okay to tell someone mean comments when they're overweight, why is it okay to say mean things to smaller people? I eat around 1.600 cals a day, definitely not an eating disorder0
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Can I just ask...why are there so many profile pics of legs with knee high socks? This relates nothing to the topic of discussion but since I was here reading, thought I'd ask.0
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Bully is quite the new buzzword. All these adults that complain about getting bullied are ridiculous.
Someone disagreeing with you on the internet != bullying
Someone making a joke on a thread you post != bullying
Glad you lost weight and stuck around the sight
Oh an HGC is terribly unhealthy
I agree that disagreement and debate is not bullying. But just like in junior high school - when it's mocking, taunting, belittling and sarcasm-laden criticism, it's bullying. No one deserves to have their opinion or experiences rudely shouted down.0 -
ITA. Seriously. I cannot imagine some of these people acting this way offline. It is bullying behavior pure & simple. Just one small example: a newbie asked a question about calf exercises, and someone posted sarcastically that calves were in the meadow. Of course several regulars had to say how clever that was (it was????). I'm sure the newbie made the unforgiveaqble mistake of using the word "toning" thus opening him or her up to obscene ridicule by the forum regs who claim they are sick to death of answering the same questions although no one's forcing them to do it. They just need to step on someone to feel good about themselves. There are worst example of bullying here, but that one stuck in my mind as it was very similar to a sarcastic response my middle schooler had heard the week before. At middle school.
Oh and then there are the constant posts about women just being jealous of each other. Sexism is alive and well here. Racism would never be tolerated (and it should never be!), but it's OK to rip women apart.
these people have no friends offline....or act totally different, which is a testament to the incongruity they experience everyday from their heads to their reality...quite sad.0 -
In a nutshellYknow what works for me? Not giving a **** what people say or think about me.0 -
HCG has been deemed unhealthy, and threads and groups that support this method of weight loss are regularly deleted from this site.
I am sorry so many of you have felt bullied. That must be a horrible feeling. I, myself, have never experienced that on this or any other site. People have disagreed with me. People have made (funny and unfunny) jokes at my expense. I have seen people be obnoxious, unkind and hostile, but I have never felt bullied, as an adult. I imagine it to be a feeling of helplessness and being treated unfairly and unjustifiably unkindly. I hope none of you ever feel that way again.
In my experience, people are generally not trying to be hurtful. Perhaps if you make that assumption about their intentions, rather than assuming they are personally attacking you, you won't feel as awful, and might realise that at least a portion of the way you feel is caused by your own perceptions and insecurities.
We all feel insecure sometimes, but maybe at least some of those times, we feed it ourselves.0 -
OP - Without knowing fully what was posted...keep in mind that perception and interpretation of written word is dramatically impacted by your emotions at the moment you read.
For instance....you were on HCG, you found some success. I see that with you being back you did not get what you were looking for. Nothing has been stated as to why you are no longer on HCG. I'm pretty sure there were comments made about that choice being unsafe, not suitable for long-term, and that eat so little is unhealthy. IMHO, had you taken a healthier and more lifestyle driven process you would most likely be in a better position, both physically and financially.
Being "bullied" on this site, can be taken simply by misreading how I wrote that. Rather than take everything you see in a negative manner, take the positives, look at the what you percieve as negative for positive influence, and skip the BS.
^^^THIS!!! This topic gets brought up over and over by people who didn't like how something was written or someone who disagreed with them. Good for you for renewing your commitment to get healthy. Hopefully the way you choose to do it this time is well researched, effective and something you can stick to for a long time.0 -
You are looking for confirmation that a bad diet (HCG) is the way to go!
Sorry, I am not going to lobotomize myself to fit your cookie cutter world and no amount of name calling will make me support a protocol that is dangerous. I won't be bullied into supporting something that 20 years in the health field tells me is a very bad idea.
Don't try to bully me into your crazy diet plans. Do it if you want but the second you promote it - I'm going to push back. The next thing you'll recommend is that I eat at 800 cals.0 -
Bully is quite the new buzzword. All these adults that complain about getting bullied are ridiculous.
Someone disagreeing with you on the internet != bullying
Someone making a joke on a thread you post != bullying
Glad you lost weight and stuck around the sight
Oh an HGC is terribly unhealthy
I agree that disagreement and debate is not bullying. But just like in junior high school - when it's mocking, taunting, belittling and sarcasm-laden criticism, it's bullying. No one deserves to have their opinion or experiences rudely shouted down.
I don't think that's bullying either, honestly. It's not what I'd call acceptable behavior (not that anyone would care, I'm sure), but it's not bullying to me.
Suppose the President, or any other politician, gave some sort of detail into their lives and people mocked it. Is that politician getting bullied? If so, then politicians have been getting bullied for a good long time now, well before the internet existed. No one has a right (per se) to have their words go un-mocked. It would be nice. It would be polite, but getting mocked isn't necessarily abuse. It can be, so bullying sometimes does apply as a word. But here? Most of the time it's just people being jerks, and not something I'd call bullying.0 -
Good for you. I think whatever you want to do will be positive and work for you. 500 calories a day and pills/injections that have been outlawed in the U.S... go for it. Anyone who would tell you this diet doesn't work or is dangerous is just a hater. They couldn't possibly actually care and want to help you. Uh uh. Nope. Straight up bullies the lot of them.
Welcome to the new MFP.0 -
This site isn't about weight loss bullies at all....you're wrong....so, there's that.0
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Well, I try not to add anyone with an eating disorder, not because I want to gang up on them or be mean, but because we don't have the same goals. With that being said, as far as looking at someone's diary and disagreeing because they didn't make their goal or their levels being different than what I think they should be IMO, I do not comment. I just let it be. And if I don't like it that much, I unfriend. I honestly don't see the point in giving unsolicited advice. Hell, even solicited advice usually doesn't make a difference, so why push your opinions on people who don't ask. But if you ask, and someone gives it to you, then hey, what can you do?!0
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Exactly.This site isn't about weight loss bullies at all....you're wrong....so, there's that.
You get what you get from this site, I've had questions and never felt bullied. There's some good information if you are open to hearing things that don't just fall under the category "answers I'd like to hear".0 -
My personal opinion- I think a lot of the "snarkiness" you're referring to is just that it seems like the same questions get asked, over and over again. And the people who've been here a while know the best and safest ways to lose weight. So when someone comes along with a fad diet, and especially if it can be dangerous to your health, they want to warn you.
If you didn't think you weren't doing something wrong, then you shouldn't have taken offense. If you think you're in the right, just ignore them. On the other hand, if you know that they're right, pay attention.0 -
I am pretty much a smart *kitten* everywhere.
If you tell me are taking a chemical that is essentially pregnant lady pee and restricting yourself to 500 calories a day. I will mock you.
It is dangerous behavior and to be supportive of it might encourage someone else to try it also.
move more. eat less. You will lose weight AND find tons of support on here.0 -
ITA. Seriously. I cannot imagine some of these people acting this way offline. It is bullying behavior pure & simple. Just one small example: a newbie asked a question about calf exercises, and someone posted sarcastically that calves were in the meadow. Of course several regulars had to say how clever that was (it was????). I'm sure the newbie made the unforgiveaqble mistake of using the word "toning" thus opening him or her up to obscene ridicule by the forum regs who claim they are sick to death of answering the same questions although no one's forcing them to do it. They just need to step on someone to feel good about themselves. There are worst example of bullying here, but that one stuck in my mind as it was very similar to a sarcastic response my middle schooler had heard the week before. At middle school.
Oh and then there are the constant posts about women just being jealous of each other. Sexism is alive and well here. Racism would never be tolerated (and it should never be!), but it's OK to rip women apart.
That's not bullying. It's called a joke. It wasn't at the person's expense, it was wordplay.
All you people who mistake humor, or even sarcasm, with the "use of force and coercion to bully and intimidate others" must live in a very pleasant world. Really. When I was getting chairs pulled out from under me, cornered in hallways and berated for sticking my neck out for quieter kids, and consistently called "ugly," "horseface" and given carrots when I walked in a room, I could have gone for a joke that wasn't about *me*, but was about a funny coincidence of words. Goddamn Shakespeare used wordplay similar to the one you commented on; and that's really considered bullying by you?
And the people who "rip" apart women are generally not the same people making the clever wordplay.
Who are these "they" and "them"? It seems like anyone that disagrees with someone, or makes a joke they don't get, or just grinds their gears, becomes part of this inexplicable other of "bullies."
That's. Not. Bullying.
This thread comes up all the time, yes. Does that mean there's a problem? Maybe, but not of "bullying."
This.0 -
I try not to ask for help or opinions, unless it's just to my friends. And try to give decent advice in the forums if I can. There is an amazing amount of negativity here, but there are also some very helpful and supportive people as well.
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I never knew that having a little bit of fun being a smart *kitten* would be considered bullying. According to those standards I should probably have been arrested for some of the things I used to say and do to my friend's in college.
ETA: often it seems like the threads that really get out of control are the ones where the OP asks a question but already has in mind the answer that they want. If you just want affirmation that your plan is excellent, take it to a group where you will find those that agree with you.0 -
HCG has been deemed unhealthy, and threads and groups that support this method of weight loss are regularly deleted from this site.
I am sorry so many of you have felt bullied. That must be a horrible feeling. I, myself, have never experienced that on this or any other site. People have disagreed with me. People have made (funny and unfunny) jokes at my expense. I have seen people be obnoxious, unkind and hostile, but I have never felt bullied, as an adult. I imagine it to be a feeling of helplessness and being treated unfairly and unjustifiably unkindly. I hope none of you ever feel that way again.
In my experience, people are generally not trying to be hurtful. Perhaps if you make that assumption about their intentions, rather than assuming they are personally attacking you, you won't feel as awful, and might realise that at least a portion of the way you feel is caused by your own perceptions and insecurities.
We all feel insecure sometimes, but maybe at least some of those times, we feed it ourselves.
This. I've been here a year, and on and off previously. I've made the newbie posts and while the MFP veterans were straight to the point and thought the posts silly, I never felt bullied.0
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