Getting picked on about what you eat at work?

geebusuk

You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?

I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.

I was raised in a different culture to most I exist in here.
I was brought up by two frugal science teachers in Papua New Guinea - I was brought up differently to most of my peers at the time.

Perhaps that's why I've always been happy to 'take it on the chin'; replying with similar jest if I needed to.
In most cases I would happily make fun of another culture or way of eating if it was someone I actually wanted to talk to - someone I thought had some sense of humour

The one thing I WOULD be regretting purely from a 'business' stand point was taking it further up rather than addressing the person in the first place.

Sure, if I was the type to be bothered by such things and I'd asked them to stop more than once and they didn't, then I might consider taking it further up (though, unlikely - more likely I'd just ignore them, or make some equally cutting remarks back) - but before then, I'd be rather worried about how it get me viewed in the company.
Not the sort of person that most would want to promote, I suspect.

DavPul

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Topher1978

Luckily, my co workers are all on board with this weight loss with me. They are MFP members, also! So, we share recipes and ideas rather than being down on each other about what we eat.

However, I have had comments while at my in-laws. My mother in law shook a bag of cat treats in front of me at the dinner table over Christmas saying, "here girl! here! This is what you eat right?" Because I'm a lot smaller than when my husband and I first started dating.

I'm also always pushed to "get seconds" and "why aren't you having dessert?" and "there's no way you're full."

I think they mean well, but I have to be strict because, for me, I can get off track easily in those situations.

I rarely eat desert, extremely rarely. Even when I wasn't trying to lose weight. Firsts really actually make me full, seconds make me fat. Bummer that you MIL does things like that. You look fantastic by the way!

VelociMama

spud_chick

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

umachanxo

Luckily, my co workers are all on board with this weight loss with me. They are MFP members, also! So, we share recipes and ideas rather than being down on each other about what we eat.

However, I have had comments while at my in-laws. My mother in law shook a bag of cat treats in front of me at the dinner table over Christmas saying, "here girl! here! This is what you eat right?" Because I'm a lot smaller than when my husband and I first started dating.

I'm also always pushed to "get seconds" and "why aren't you having dessert?" and "there's no way you're full."

I think they mean well, but I have to be strict because, for me, I can get off track easily in those situations.

I rarely eat desert, extremely rarely. Even when I wasn't trying to lose weight. Firsts really actually make me full, seconds make me fat. Bummer that you MIL does things like that. You look fantastic by the way!

Same. I only have dessert on like a birthday or anniversary or something like that. My ML doesn't like me much, I don't think. When I started losing weight she asked if I was getting thin so I could find a new boyfriend. (Like, a month before my wedding. To her son.)

Thank you!!

astrampe

You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?

I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.

There is honestly a third answer which is: I would talk to the person who was 'harassing me' and see if I could work things out on my own.

BUT I understand this isn't an option for people from different cultures so I can respect that you weren't comfortable doing that.

It is an option - I am from a different culture too and nothing stops me from saying that to somebody, or asking him what he measn by that - just in case I misunderstood him....Running to a supervisor and making a mountain out of a molehill does not do you any favours....If you want to see harrassment and racism in everything, you will.....

DavPul

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

spud_chick

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.

Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.

sissiluv

I remember a few years ago I would regularly buy two cans of apple juice with my lunch from the restaurant next door to where I worked, because I was regularly shoving around very heavy boxes (anywhere from 1-100lbs+) and that had to last me from around 12pm to 6/7pm. Said restaurant was regularly patroned by cops and meter-maids, and one day a police officer decided to get cute at me and made a snarky comment about that habit of mine, having seen me do it a few times by then.
His table had a good chuckle at my expense and I just gave him a nasty glare then went on my way.

I think my glare construed my message well enough because they didn't do it again...though I did save a very stinky look every time I saw them after that.

jackielovestolaugh

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penrbrown

You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?

I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.

There is honestly a third answer which is: I would talk to the person who was 'harassing me' and see if I could work things out on my own.

BUT I understand this isn't an option for people from different cultures so I can respect that you weren't comfortable doing that.

It is an option - I am from a different culture too and nothing stops me from saying that to somebody, or asking him what he measn by that - just in case I misunderstood him....Running to a supervisor and making a mountain out of a molehill does not do you any favours....If you want to see harrassment and racism in everything, you will.....

Come now. We're ALL from different cultures and some people just aren't as aggressive and up front as others because they were taught NOT to be. A little understanding goes a long way. On ALL ends of this topic.

msbunnie68

His last statement was a bit ambiguous as in "he has plenty of ways to grease it..." Ew.


Anyway...

My co-workers remark on my lunch all the time - mostly because they love seeing what I have and ask me how did I make it and what's in there. I cook quite well and morning teas and parent teas all seem to fall on my work days (funny that).

jackielovestolaugh

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leska1216

Here's my short reply:

At my job on Monday, a supervisor noticed my white rice and started asking, "Why didn't you put gravy or butter on that rice?"

EWWW! GRAVY on rice??? BUTTER on rice? EWWW!

You had meat and veg to go with it. That's more than enough. That's how I have always eaten rice with my family.

Brown rice? Never. Wild rice? Oh, yes. Butter and China Lily Soy Sauce on white rice? Absolutely.

That said, what you eat is your business. And how you eat it is also your business.

RawTriGal

Bottom line, for whatever reason, people always feel free to comment on other people's EVERYTHING. Rest assured, it is about THEM, not you. They are projecting their own fears and guilt out there. When people "critique" my diet or lifestyle - or anything else - I just say, "interesting...."
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^^^ ditto this ^^^

superjean1

Its funny how those around us try to sabotage someone's hard work and determination just to feel better about themselves. Keep your head up, keep working at it and block out the negativity.

rachel4304

You know what? The people who've been attacking me over this tattling to my supervisor can state their opinion, but I have the right to completely disagree with it because I went with how I felt about this situation. I was not feeling comfortable, so I know in my heart I did what I knew was right. I honestly felt he was attacking my cultural background. The attackers here can flame me all they want, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Try it from this perspective: Think about being from a different culture or how one was raised in a certain way. If someone walked up to you and started ridiculing your food, how would you feel? And what would happen if that someone continued doing it? Would you go "tattling" to the supervisor because it's harassment, or would you let that someone keep picking at your food before you did something you may end up regretting?

I did what I had to do, and no matter what everyone here thinks, I will not change my mind. I'm not ashamed for reporting it, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if someone tries it again. Joking may be funny, but attacking a different culture and way of eating is not.

Except... he didn't attack your culture.

He made an innocent comment regarding your rice.

And if someone came up and started ridiculing my food.... I wouldn't have an emotion about it. Because IT'S FOOD. It is not my ethnic identity. It has no bearing on me as a person... because.... IT'S FOOD!

makhno

I find that its usually those that sit all day stuffing their face with cakes and chocolate all day that have the most to say about my dietary habits

DavPul

Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?

Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".

She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?

There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.

Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.

If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.