Getting picked on about what you eat at work?
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Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?
Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".
She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?
There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.
Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.
If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.
I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree. Doesn't work that way in my organization.0 -
I'm ... not sure why this would bother you so much? Why not just tell him it's how you like your rice instead of taking it to higher ups?
She did. And he persisted in being an *kitten*.
Actually, my husband was doing the same thing about my food, saying things like, "That doesn't even look appetizing." I finally told him to knock it off.0 -
Lately it seems everyone is way too sensitive and pc about everything.
I'm not sure why the op felt like her culture/ ethnicity was attacked.
I also come from a different cultural background, and if someone made a comment about my food ( unless followed by an ethnic slur of some sort), the last thing I would think is that my culture is being attacked. That's just... Bizarre
I'm a vegetarian so I'm used to getting all kinda of comments about my food.
At work we have catered lunches, so everyone sees what everyone else is eating. If I had a penny for every time someone commented on me eating tofu ( ghost food apparently), I would be rolling in cash right about now lol.
Every time someone holds up a piece of meat, telling me to look at what I'm missing it doesn't bother me at all. I offer them a vegetable of some sort and joke about it.
I'm luckythough, now that I'm dieting, everyone at work is supportive and stops me from eating junk food, some offer to split a desert with me so that we both get a taste but not pig out.
I hope that the op doesn't lose any friends at work over this. Nothing worse than working in a hostile environment.0 -
SHE DIDN"T. Someone else pointed out that that may have been a part of it and the OP jumped on it to make people more sympathetic to her pity party. Pity parties are for those that shall not succeed.Lately it seems everyone is way too sensitive and pc about everything.
I'm not sure why the op felt like her culture/ ethnicity was attacked.
I also come from a different cultural background, and if someone made a comment about my food ( unless followed by an ethnic slur of some sort), the last thing I would think is that my culture is being attacked. That's just... Bizarre
I'm a vegetarian so I'm used to getting all kinda of comments about my food.
At work we have catered lunches, so everyone sees what everyone else is eating. If I had a penny for every time someone commented on me eating tofu ( ghost food apparently), I would be rolling in cash right about now lol.
Every time someone holds up a piece of meat, telling me to look at what I'm missing it doesn't bother me at all. I offer them a vegetable of some sort and joke about it.
I'm luckythough, now that I'm dieting, everyone at work is supportive and stops me from eating junk food, some offer to split a desert with me so that we both get a taste but not pig out.
I hope that the op doesn't lose any friends at work over this. Nothing worse than working in a hostile environment.0 -
People don't do that to me. They only do that to people who will let them do it. Stop explaining yourself to them and acting submissive. When's the last time you saw someone do that to their own boss? They don't because the boss is not submissive to them.Bottom line, for whatever reason, people always feel free to comment on other people's EVERYTHING. Rest assured, it is about THEM, not you. They are projecting their own fears and guilt out there. When people "critique" my diet or lifestyle - or anything else - I just say, "interesting...."
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Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?
Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".
She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?
There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.
Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.
If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.
I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree. Doesn't work that way in my organization.
Well in your reality, when someone complains to your direct supervisor about you, is that the sort of thing you like to happen? Or do you feel that you been reported to another store?0 -
I hate when the ONE time you eat something unhealthy, you get "I thought you didn't eat ____."
"You thought wrong."
"There's your problem: you thought."
"You... thought?"
etc.0 -
Wow. So now you think we're attacking you as well. How am I not surprised?
Quite a few people on this thread *besides you* have said critical and downright nasty things about the OP--it took me a good bit of reading to see more responses from people defending her. And I don't think she characterized the original situation as an "attack".
She reported the guy to HR. But you don't think she characterized the situation as being attacked?
There's a gray area between saying "this guy is making me uncomfortable" and saying he's "attacking" her. I very much doubt she intended to get him in trouble, just wanted it to stop. But of you want to dump on her some more feel free to grill her about it.
Also if we're splitting hairs I was under the impression that she talked to a supervisor about it, not that she filed an official HR complaint.
If you check you hr manual, usually the first step is the report to your immediate supervisor. Unless that person is the problem. Then you go to their supervisor. Then directly to hr. She followed the proper steps to get him canned. There's probably a notation in file. She followed every step.... except the one where she talks to him directly, like an adult.
I'm afraid we're going to have to agree to disagree. Doesn't work that way in my organization.
Well in your reality, when someone complains to your direct supervisor about you, is that the sort of thing you like to happen? Or do you feel that you been reported to another store?
First of all, I don't understand your store reference, but don't bother explaining it. Second, what does that have to do with making a distinction between asking another supervisor to intervene on your behalf when someone above you in rank is behaving in an unwelcome manner toward you, vs. going straight to HR and filing an official complaint?
You seem to see this as a woman who you believe should have either been more "thick-skinned" about the situation or directly confronted a male who was higher in rank than her and basically told him to stop being a jerk, but instead "abused" a grievance protocol, as if she were some paranoid whack job who blows a rape whistle anytime someone smiles at her. And you seem to think her motive was to get him in trouble.
What I see is a woman who tried very politely (as she was raised to) to end repeated unwelcome intrusions on her privacy by a higher-ranking employee, but the situation got worse instead of better. She then went to a different supervisor in an attempt to make the intrusions stop--to get him to stop his behavior toward her, not to get him in trouble.
As has been said, her cultural background has some bearing both in how she perceived his behavior and in how she chose to deal with it, but that is incidental. I don't think she's nuts for feeling it might be a cultural slam, but I think his jerkdom was more generic than that, and particularly unbecoming of someone with rank. Where I work, everyone is required to attend periodic sensitivity training to avoid these kinds of situations. The training includes pointing out that what's normal for you isn't normal for everyone, and to learn to respect differences. Managers don't enjoy having to deal with these conflicts but that is part of their job, to defuse problems before they get serious.
When I was strictly veg, my supervisor used to be very nastily and vocally anti-vegetarian and even refused my requests to go or order from places for our departmental gatherings where we could order separate meals so I wouldn't have to pick around a bunch of meat pizzas or 8-foot meat subs. Some of my coworkers egged him on in this, others didn't like it but didn't speak up about it. Unfortunately I had nobody in a higher position to talk to about it without lodging a formal complaint with HR, so I put up with it. I wish I'd felt like there was someone I could go to about it without just getting crapped on further as a "troublemaker".
Anyway, you and I are done here.0 -
Store reference was a typo. I think I forgot to erase a sentence after an edit.
As for the rest. ...
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From the way you described it, I think he was hitting on you and was too stupid to do it intelligently!!! Men really don't care about what their women co-workers eat! He likes you!!!!!0
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Store reference was a typo. I think I forgot to erase a sentence after an edit.
As for the rest. ...
LIke0 -
Not any more.From the way you described it, I think he was hitting on you and was too stupid to do it intelligently!!! Men really don't care about what their women co-workers eat! He likes you!!!!!0 -
In the south we put gravy or butter on rice. Some people even put sugar in it.0
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I think he was just teasing you. Don't worry about what other people say.0
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^ Seriously. You made a mountain out of a molehill. :huh: It sounds like he just wanted to make conversation or start a light-hearted debate of some sort.You are the kind of person that destroys work environments and makes people miserable at work.
This is the kind of people our society is creating.... Everything is offensive, noone can take a joke or turn the other cheek.
From what I read this guy didnt even say anything wrong, if you didnt like his comments you should have said, "Do I have to listen to this every day because I dont think it is funny, and I would appreciate it if you would stop." Essentially, you are an adult and you just tattled. He was not "picking on you." And if you truly felt he was, where was the part of the conversation where you stood up for yourself? That should be your go-to, not running to a supervisor. besides, that makes you look really unprofessional, too, supervisors have bigger fish to fry...
Also, as someone else pointed out: you picking apart his eating habits is just as rude, and if he shouldnt pay attention to what you eat, why are you even looking at his plate? thats none of YOUR business, either...0 -
In the south we put gravy or butter on rice. Some people even put sugar in it.
i forgot the sugar.
now i want squirrel with rice and gravy....and then sugar rice. huuunnngrryyy.0 -
I have definitely been a victim of this. The last place I used to work, all of my co-workers were slightly larger ladies and they would always pick on me for not eating donuts/cupcakes/the plethora of junk that got brought into work daily. It got to the point where it felt like I was being bullied for being healthy. One day I decided I had enough, so I talked to the girl who was harrasing me the most, and explained it felt like she was bullying me and that it wasn't right.
I know deep down they were jealous of my willpower and were trying to make the "healthy" girl break bad.0 -
I think you were entirely to sensitive on the subject. Was there really a need to get someone in trouble over that? That is sad. I get people joking around too but it is usually just in fun.
Eta: no wonder women have to work harder to gain respect in the work place. Real women have to try to fix the damage done by women like the op.0
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