Ex Got Daughter a Python. Freaking Out!! Advice Please!!
Replies
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Know as I write this there isn't another person on the face of the earth that hates snakes as much as I. But, as long as the snake stays at her dads house it should be ok. Breath and be happy that she wants to share things with you. I'd of been more upset if they tried to hide stuff like that from me. My kids and everyone else I know, know how I feel about snakes. My kids just think it's funny because I'm normally not afraid of anything. Shaking my head snakes are different. I don't even like to see a picture of one.
There are worse things she could of gotten and wouldn't want you to know.0 -
'Yep, this.1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
To be honest, OP, you sound a bit psychotic with this post. It's a domesticated pet snake. A large dog would be a more dangerous pet to have around kids.0 -
awwww! mail me one!My father breeds ball pythons and has about 70.
NBD.
j/k. I don't have the space for any more tanks in my house, unfortunately....0 -
1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
This0 -
My father breeds ball pythons and has about 70.
NBD.
your father is rad... i WISH i could get a ball python! and name him cuddles
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Thats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
HOWEVER and unfortanitly, since your daughter is 15 I sugjest you handle this in more of a passive way. you do not want the ex to use this to make you a common enemy. so play it smart. and just ask your daughter why she would want something that makes you feel this way, tell her you are so worried for her, but let her know you trust her judgment on this, although you wish she would yeld to your feeling if she doesn't she has your support. you very may be able to guilt her to not want to worry you like this.
the thing thats awful for you is you have an ex who probably wants to undermine you and maybe feel like the fav parent, and you have a teen who I am sure wants to undermine you. So play this out smart, she has three years until she is an adult, if she feels like you beleive in her ability to make some choices in her life, she will grew closer to you.
but make sure you come off as plesant and muture not emotional, to her and him. no amount of ranting and raving will change anything so stay cool headed if nothing eles your daughter will learn from your calm respounses to such a stressful situation for you0 -
Hubby and I are the only ones in the family that have no snakes. I don't have anything against them really, I am just not interested in another pet.0
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I had to look them up myself ... because I live in FL where we have a HUGE problem with Burmese pythons in the wild hurting our eco-system. Not so with a Ball... they're small completely legal and apparently make great pets! Sorry mom but I'd say you'll have to get used to the fact your daughter doesn't share your fears... who knows maybe this little guy could help you get over the fear if you gave him chance :-)0
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Thats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
HOWEVER and unfortanitly, since your daughter is 15 I sugjest you handle this in more of a passive way. you do not want the ex to use this to make you a common enemy. so play it smart. and just ask your daughter why she would want something that makes you feel this way, tell her you are so worried for her, but let her know you trust her judgment on this, although you wish she would yeld to your feeling if she doesn't she has your support. you very may be able to guilt her to not want to worry you like this.
the thing thats awful for you is you have an ex who probably wants to undermine you and maybe feel like the fav parent, and you have a teen who I am sure wants to undermine you. So play this out smart, she has three years until she is an adult, if she feels like you beleive in her ability to make some choices in her life, she will grew closer to you.
but make sure you come off as plesant and muture not emotional, to her and him. no amount of ranting and raving will change anything so stay cool headed if nothing eles your daughter will learn from your calm respounses to such a stressful situation for you
Yes, guilt your daughter into agreeing with you. What could possibly go wrong?0 -
Thats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Don't do this! My husband tried the overprotective, I am going to control what happens at your mom's house approach and he no longer has any contact with his daughter. It is at his house, let it go. If it really bothers you, ask your daughter not to talk about the snake with you because it scares you and tell her you are happy she is excited about her new pet. Leave it at that.0 -
it's not going to be at your house. therefore, it's not really your business.
tell your daughter that it will NOT come into your home, and that you don't want to know about it. but besides that, don't mention it. Ever.0 -
Thats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
The flip side of this is you could run into a judge who's .. y'know .. reasonable .. and be forced to allow the snake to come to your house with her.0 -
Because you don't like snakes, people in another household are supposed to defer to your wishes? Did you bother learning anything about ball pythons before you posted this?0
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Thats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
HOWEVER and unfortanitly, since your daughter is 15 I sugjest you handle this in more of a passive way. you do not want the ex to use this to make you a common enemy. so play it smart. and just ask your daughter why she would want something that makes you feel this way, tell her you are so worried for her, but let her know you trust her judgment on this, although you wish she would yeld to your feeling if she doesn't she has your support. you very may be able to guilt her to not want to worry you like this.
the thing thats awful for you is you have an ex who probably wants to undermine you and maybe feel like the fav parent, and you have a teen who I am sure wants to undermine you. So play this out smart, she has three years until she is an adult, if she feels like you beleive in her ability to make some choices in her life, she will grew closer to you.
but make sure you come off as plesant and muture not emotional, to her and him. no amount of ranting and raving will change anything so stay cool headed if nothing eles your daughter will learn from your calm respounses to such a stressful situation for you
Yikes! OP don't do any of this.
Joint legal custody is just that, 50/50. Unless a ball python is illegal the judge would do nothing.
And I doubt your Ex is trying to undermine you, your child getting a pet for her to have at her Dad's own house that you have a fear of is not undermining.
Are they supposed to take all your fears into consideration?0 -
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.0 -
I was really enjoying all the rational replies. And thenThats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
Did you ever think that the husband getting a snake for his daughter MAYBE had nothing to do with the ex wife?
Yes. Hire a lawyer to sue your husband for getting a snake. The children will be thrilled and the courts have nothing better to do.
LOL at this place.... every. day.0 -
if she likes it i wouldnt worry....
but i also think he did it to get under your skin.... thats not a very responsible thing for someone to do..... unless it lives in their house not yours...
would i allow it.... nooo way... I would not .... i would say you can keep it over there but not my house...
remember you are the boss... in this situation I would get her a better pet lol...0 -
1. Ball pythons don't get that big. They're one of the "smaller" snakes in the pet trade.
2. they're much hardier than bearded dragons and withstand captivity well, so your daughter won't likely suffer the same disappointment/heartache of losing a pet so soon after getting it.
3. Ball pythons are docile, non-venomous, and don't require a lot of attention or space compared to a lot of "exotic" pets
4. It's not fair to take your own insecurities/phobias out on your daughter. Plus, at 15, she's not a child; she can handle a baby snake.
^^This...and I'm not even a fan of snakes. You may need to see someone about this fear of yours.0 -
Is this a joke?. . a CAT is more dangerous to a 3 year old than a little snake. .
Get a hold of yourself!. .
Agreed! The snake is a non-issue. As a biologist, I'll agree with the cat angle.....my boss got bit by a cat last year. The bite got infected and he wound up in the hospital with a near bone infection. People done realize how nasty and awful cat bites can be. As far as the snake goes I thought it would have been a Mojave with as upset as the OP was!0 -
if she likes it i wouldnt worry....
but i also think he did it to get under your skin.... thats not a very responsible thing for someone to do..... unless it lives in their house not yours...
would i allow it.... nooo way... I would not .... i would say you can keep it over there but not my house...
remember you are the boss... in this situation I would get her a better pet lol...
Not sure you want to get into a contest like that if your child is at all involved.0 -
Ball pythons typically like being around their humans. They're not agressive. Many people hear "python" and freak out.
And they can't swallow a human teenager. I've tried.
this won't happen:
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He probably got her the snake because
1. She wanted it
2. She couldn't have one at your house.0 -
I loved playing with snakes as a kid! Seriously, don't try to let your fear affect your kid. It's fine if you're scared or don't like them but it sounds like she does. So just let her enjoy her new buddy!0
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Joint custody is always fun!
My ex is totally phobic of snakes, and would probably freak out like you are now if I got the kids a snake. She can't even watch them on TV, or be in the room if my son has Animal Planet on the TV, just in case they show a snake. When we were married, there was no question that there would be no snakes for pets!
My son would love to have one though (he's 13). If I were a snake lover, I might get him one, to stay at my place, and it would be none of my exes business. Post-divorce, my exes fears and phobias are no longer my over-riding concern. I wouldn't get one just to piss her off; but neither would I not do something (safe) with the kids knowing it would piss her off if I and the kids really wanted to do it and it didn't involve her.
Since it is at his house and not yours, unless you had an actual valid safety concern for your daughter (which I don't think you do, given the nature of the ball python) this really isn't any of your business. Sorry. Just put your foot down if she ever mentions bringing it to your house - that would not be fair to you, of course.0 -
Your ex is a childish brat; it's good he's your ex.
That being said, the snake stays at his house and it's his responsibility. If anything bad were to happen it's all on him. Remember; he's trying to BUY their affections and alienate you from them by doing this.
It's an immature thing to do. Sounds like he wants to be their buddy.
Ugh! You're so much better off that he's not in the middle of your life anymore! Rejoice!0 -
Thats upsetting that their being so insensitive to you!
because you have joint legal you do have a say about a good deal of things that go on over there when they effect your daughter. if you want to force the issue then I sugjest you contact either a lawyer for a consultation or if you can't offord that a paralegal. if your in southern ca I know a good one who does free consultations.
HOWEVER and unfortanitly, since your daughter is 15 I sugjest you handle this in more of a passive way. you do not want the ex to use this to make you a common enemy. so play it smart. and just ask your daughter why she would want something that makes you feel this way, tell her you are so worried for her, but let her know you trust her judgment on this, although you wish she would yeld to your feeling if she doesn't she has your support. you very may be able to guilt her to not want to worry you like this.
the thing thats awful for you is you have an ex who probably wants to undermine you and maybe feel like the fav parent, and you have a teen who I am sure wants to undermine you. So play this out smart, she has three years until she is an adult, if she feels like you beleive in her ability to make some choices in her life, she will grew closer to you.
but make sure you come off as plesant and muture not emotional, to her and him. no amount of ranting and raving will change anything so stay cool headed if nothing eles your daughter will learn from your calm respounses to such a stressful situation for you
Yikes! OP don't do any of this.
Joint legal custody is just that, 50/50. Unless a ball python is illegal the judge would do nothing.
And I doubt your Ex is trying to undermine you, your child getting a pet for her to have at her Dad's own house that you have a fear of is not undermining.
Are they supposed to take all your fears into consideration?
my x tried to bring up in court that he thought my home is unsafe because we have a dog
turns out the judge is a dog lover0 -
That just begged for this to me created:my x tried to bring up in court that he thought my home is unsafe because we have a dog
turns out the judge is a dog lover
0 -
Your ex is a childish brat; it's good he's your ex.
That being said, the snake stays at his house and it's his responsibility. If anything bad were to happen it's all on him. Remember; he's trying to BUY their affections and alienate you from them by doing this.
It's an immature thing to do. Sounds like he wants to be their buddy.
Ugh! You're so much better off that he's not in the middle of your life anymore! Rejoice!
Yeah, there's no possibility that he doesn't mind snakes and neither does his new wife and maybe even the three year old thinks they are pretty cool. That is not being a childish brat (the mom is playing that part pretty well), that is not selfish or immature. I bought my kids 2 dogs because they love dogs. Does that make me childish, immature, buying their affection? Or is it just because he got them a non-traditional pet that makes him an evil man?0 -
That just begged for this to me created:my x tried to bring up in court that he thought my home is unsafe because we have a dog
turns out the judge is a dog lover
WIN!
you have succeeded in buying my affections0 -
Ball pythons typically like being around their humans. They're not agressive. Many people hear "python" and freak out.
And they can't swallow a human teenager. I've tried.
this won't happen:
That looks less like a snake and more like
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