Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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You husband sounds like a jerk. My SO doesn't like alot of the food I eat, so I buy him stuff that I don't like but I know he does (I hate Dr. Pepper and rootbeer, so that's the only soda I buy for him, I hate oreo's, so I buy those for him too, etc.)0
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your hub was a jerk.
That being said: there are ways to compromise.
Keep two milks around - no biggie.
Have his junk and your food.
When you cook dinners, use a lot of herbs and spices - makes it tasty, and he won't realize it's healthy.
And figure out ways you can incorporate his stuff into your meals without throwing you off kilter.
PORTION things! Keep a measuring cup around, and know serving sizes.
Most important: USE THIS WEBSITE.
Track your food every day, so you know what you eat.
Even if you might not eat something that you consider healthy, if you're below your calorie total for the day, you're ahead of the game.
The key is, you are doing this for YOU, not to show off for him.0 -
Why did he leave you his debit card?? Do you not have one?
If you have separate accounts I'd take his card and go shopping and not to a grocery store! :-)0 -
Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.
Not really - if he cooks, he can cook what he likes. Unless the food is inedible, theres no reason not to eat it. Like I said, if he needs more calories, he could always have seconds or eat some bread after.
The give and take is that she has given her time and effort to cook dinner. The least he could do is say thankyou.
We do have separate milks in our house, but if we didn't, I wouldnt think about moaning - its only milk.
Having said all this, I am a very 'generalist' eater and like almost anything.
I truly "get" what you are saying. I just have a different perspective on where I see the problem here. Where you appear to think he should just "eat it and shut up and be grateful" I am of the opinion out of love for him she should make sure she fixes him the things he enjoys to eat, at least some of the time. I love my hubs to death and if he wants to eat something I prefer not to eat, I will fix it for him. And he knows that and is very appreciative about it. He never complains about what I fix. Most nights it will be healthy food we can both eat and enjoy. But those times he wants something different, I am more than happy to do it for him. Because I love him. And we've been married for 27 blissful years. So I've learned a few things about compromise and how to make a relationship work.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
I cook the main meal which we all have, I just weigh/measure mine so I'm having smaller portions, no complaints in this house & feeding to adult men and myself
yes, no complaints in my house either. all 5 of my kids and my husband are fine with the healthy changes i have implemented since september. my original response was IF MY HUSBAND ACTED AS HERS DID... lol, and then, all of the sudden, i was an evil disrespectful and abusive wife for FORCING MY FAMILY TO EAT HEALTHY... hhhmmmmmmm ok, ill take it! lol0 -
WOW that was a harsh reaction. I am thinking he secretly doesnt want you to lose weight. You lose weight, you become more attractive to other men (which personally I find ridiculous) and he fears you will leave him.
Okay. That's both unfair and nonsensical in this case.
The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.
I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.
I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
This is wise advice. I still buy stuff my boyfriend will want to eat because he needs to GAIN weight! I keep the unhealthy treats in a drawer so I don't see them and I buy stuff for him to keep in his car so I won't eat it! Even if I didn't though, I think he would just pick up his own choices on the way home from work at the grocery store. I mean, my boyfriend can drive a car and is a grown man. I would never ONLY buy my weird healthy food because no human being should be forced to eat that stuff if they can avoid it...however, if it's a tempting food for me, I ask him to hide it away from me. I always buy rice milk and regular milk for him, egg whites for me, regular eggs for him, etc.
This post really confuses me because it sounds like you don't buy him anything he would want, and yet, why can't he stop off at the store to get what he wants by himself? It makes no sense. I think you both need to compromise a little bit. Also, there's no excuse for him throwing a tantrum. That's just ridiculous.0 -
Your man sounds like quite the catch.....0
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The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
You're missing the part where instead of him having a reasonable conversation with her, he went bat****crazy and threw a temper tantrum. It's hard to respect somebody that clearly didn't respect his wife enough to explain that he wanted to be able to eat his food too in a manner that a husband should address his wife- ya know, like not throwing her food out...0 -
Throw out the husband.0
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I am sorry that this happened. Its very difficult when one person is trying to get healthy and the other is struggling with the changes. He sounds like he was frustrated and with working as much as he is, they get a lil testy sometimes. He certainly shouldnt have thrown out your food that you paid for. Even if he paid for it, you BOTH chose for you to stay home with your son. Sounds like he had been trying to be supportive for the first couple months, but was becoming increasingly frustrated and instead of explaining to you calmly he exploded.
I am glad you two were able to sit down and talk about this...it seems that you both were able to see your mistakes, and how you can try to make it work for you both.
You should certainly compromise on having some things in the house that he enjoys. As for meals, maybe you both can come up with things that you both can eat, maybe healthier versions of things you both like. When I try something new, I get my husbands opinion on if he liked it or maybe how I can make it more to his liking but still keep it healthier. As for salt, you can cook with a lil bit of it or have salt available for him to season after cooking. It is also okay to have the unhealthier things sometimes, just in moderation. He can have a big portion and you can fill up on a big salad and/or veggies and then a small portion of the main course.
I dont understand why he is having a problem with you working out or even talking about it, but that is something you should talk to him about. Maybe he is afraid of you changing and then leaving him, or maybe your working out is interferrring with together time.
The biggest thing is talking together and trying to find a comprimise that works for you both. Plz feel free to add me as friend. I am open to any venting that you need. LOL I often do it myself!0 -
The anger and anti-male sentiment in this thread just makes me so happy to have what I have, a beautiful, highly intelligent and well-educated wife, who loves to cook and take care of our family. I, in turn, provide income. It's a unique relationship, I know, but one that works for us. There are all types of family structures, and each couple is entitled to find their own. I really feel for those that get this angry and worked up over a food dispute, however, and probably even more sorry for those that consider home cooked meals something remarkable. My wife and I can both cook, but she always takes the primary responsibility, and there's rarely a day that goes by when there isn't a home cooked meal available. For those of you still worked up, go back and read the thread and the additional information the OP posted. It seems that she and her husband worked it out. I really hope the rest of you do the same in your own homes, as there is way too much anger being expressed.0
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Your husband sounds like a tool. When I cook there is one simple rule "Don't like it, don't eat it (but be prepared to make your own)" I'll even give my husband the money to go and buy himself something if he doesn't like what's on the menu. He didn't like black beans in the chili I made, so he went and got himself Wendy's on my dime. This is fine and as close to compromise as we get when I'm cooking. When he cooks I eat what me makes or I go and make something else; I don't demand he make something different, I don't holler and scream then storm out like an angry child, and I sure don't throw out food,
When I was growing up my mother cooked one meal for dinner. If I didn't like it then I had best find myself something else to eat. She didn't take orders and then churn out eight individual meals for every member of the household. If other people have the time/desire to do such things good on them, but I know I don't.0 -
Make a compromise, get him a small fridge from walmart and he can buy whatever his little heart desires and you can buy what you need to eat.....then tell him to cook it lol that should get him to pay attention that being healthy for a woman is more different than a man!0
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Yes and it would be basic good manners for her to love her husband enough to fix him the foods he enjoys too. I don't think the hubs would have been so upset if she were fixing him the things he enjoys let's say 3 nights out of 7. I bet that would be a compromise he could live with. They obviously have different caloric needs with his activity level vs. hers. Give the man some whole milk and foods he enjoys that fill him up. And again, if money is an issue and it is not affordable to make two meals, make a healthy meal some nights and meals he enjoys some nights. It really is not difficult. There is no reason they can't both have what they want, through mutual compromise, and have a strong relationship. Give and take.
Not really - if he cooks, he can cook what he likes. Unless the food is inedible, theres no reason not to eat it. Like I said, if he needs more calories, he could always have seconds or eat some bread after.
The give and take is that she has given her time and effort to cook dinner. The least he could do is say thankyou.
We do have separate milks in our house, but if we didn't, I wouldnt think about moaning - its only milk.
Having said all this, I am a very 'generalist' eater and like almost anything.
I truly "get" what you are saying. I just have a different perspective on where I see the problem here. Where you appear to think he should just "eat it and shut up and be grateful" I am of the opinion out of love for him she should make sure she fixes him the things he enjoys to eat, at least some of the time. I love my hubs to death and if he wants to eat something I prefer not to eat, I will fix it for him. And he knows that and is very appreciative about it. He never complains about what I fix. Most nights it will be healthy food we can both eat and enjoy. But those times he wants something different, I am more than happy to do it for him. Because I love him. And we've been married for 27 blissful years. So I've learned a few things about compromise and how to make a relationship work.
yes, but i think the problem here is how he went about it. if my husband came to me nicely, i would nicely respond, but, if my husband acted like a douche bag, throwing my stuff in the trash and making demands on me, then all hell would break lose. so, the responses that the op is getting, is in direct response to her husbands abusive behavior. i dont have the problem the op has, my husband complies with whatever i want, and we have been married for many many years, with 5 kids from ages 7-14... this is how our family works, and it works well... however, if my husband acted in that manner over something so minor; food; then believe me, the gates of hell would have opened up and swallowed him whole. the problem is not him wanting different food, the problem is him verbally attacking her the way he did.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
This happened with my wife and I when I had gone on a diet years ago. I had thrown out anything that would tempt me, but she didn't need to go on a diet and she freaked. We made a compromise and to keep myself from being tempted, we stored her food in places different from mine...meal prep sucked, but it worked. It's all about compromise unless you are both doing the same thing together...like now, my wife and I both following the same type of eating lifestyle, so it works perfectly.
Now, the way he handled it is awful...I would give him a boot to the head and put him in his place. He needs to support you and be more understanding.0 -
Throw out the husband.
In all seriousness, I've discussed my dietary changes with my husband. When I cook, I cook the way I want to eat. He is free to purchase junk he likes or prepare any meal he wants. But if he wants me to cook, he'll eat what I cook.0 -
too many posts to read them all, however, my opinion: if he wants something else, let him cook it!0
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WOW that was a harsh reaction. I am thinking he secretly doesnt want you to lose weight. You lose weight, you become more attractive to other men (which personally I find ridiculous) and he fears you will leave him.
Okay. That's both unfair and nonsensical in this case.
The guy is an active man with no weight issues. I'm sure he wants the best for his wife, he just just (quite reasonably) doesn't want to starve just because she wants to lose weight. Needs vs wants.
Note that these "healthy" foods were moreso low calorie than healthy - nothing wrong with whole milk. At all.
I totally disagree with people saying he should cook and buy his own food. That just removes quite a large part of the relationship between them, and considering he is the one employed in the house, by all fairness it would mean he buys whatever he wants and OP has to deal with it.
I suspect the offering of the nachos (which are freaking awesome, btw) and subsequent rage was his reaction to showing OP what it was like to have a food you didn't want forced on you, and OP not getting the message. There was no food he usually enjoys in the house because OP threw it away, so he threw her stuff away. No one wants to be force fed food they don't want.
I'm pretty sure a compromise can be reached by buying to suit both of their needs - buy whole milk for him, 2% for her, ice cream for him, yoghurt for her. If OP can't control her cravings or whatever around her husbands food, that's not the foods fault nor her husbands: it's hers.
maybe this, good one.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
This happened with my wife and I when I had gone on a diet years ago. I had thrown out anything that would tempt me, but she didn't need to go on a diet and she freaked. We made a compromise and to keep myself from being tempted, we stored her food in places different from mine...meal prep sucked, but it worked. It's all about compromise unless you are both doing the same thing together...like now, my wife and I both following the same type of eating lifestyle, so it works perfectly.
Now, the way he handled it is awful...I would give him a boot to the head and put him in his place. He needs to support you and be more understanding.
agreed!0
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