Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH

Shoshona1950

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

If he was going along with the food change and being supportive it must be distressing to have him have a temper tantrum about the food. As was written above - YOU are the one who is changing - I have read men are often threatened by partners changing - especially for the better. So buy him the food he likes, and buy yourself the food you need and like for your good health. If your marriage is based on his income only cook him up his bad food and cook your food for yourself. If you both work outside the house then it is fair he feed his own self. And ......if you must cook his food, make it simple and spice yours all up. He may decide he likes your food better. Stay strong and be safe.

lovelyMYlovely

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

i agree. because its your decision to eat healthy he misses your good cooking.. it should be a compliment.. i understand that you must have been mad and hurt... but mayeb you can get the food that you want and make some stuff that he would love to???

i HATE diets.. i just cant do it... lol... i still restrict my calories and its working for me... im sure maybe he just misses the old you, maybe he feels like the fun loving girl who enjoyed life is getting tossed out the window... maybe its not true maybe u are exactly the same but i do understand his perspective.... not everyone wants to eat healthy...

i think u should rebuy the food that he tossed AND get some stuff u know he will love to.

no need to force smething on someone when there not ready...

but thats messed uo to throw out food... people in africa are dying of starvation and thats not cool... but idk im sure he will text and say sorry

bbriscoe13

Wow...I am now understanding why most marriages end in divorce. I didn't read all of the responses, but some of them are a bit crazy. Maybe your husband overracted a bit, but being forced into a diet that he didn't ask for is kind of sucky. My husband and I eat the same thing for dinner, but he eats way more than me throughout the day. Maybe you/you guys can buy him some food that he can eat not in front of you. I know it is hard to diet when the person that you live with isn't also dieting. Maybe you can compromise that way? And I know that diet/healthy cooking is hard when you first start, but there is some great recipes out there that don't taste like "diet food". He may like that, all he has to do is eat a larger serving than you. I have found some great recipes on Pinterest. Hopefully you guys can work things out and come to an agreement. Good luck on your journey. It will take a lot of willpower, but you can do it.

shellywillmann

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to

YEAH! I always think wives do have a right to control what their husbands eat. If we are spending so much time and effort on our own health, than surely we should do the same for them. After all ... who else does the husband expect to be taking care of him in the next 20 to 30 years when his health starts failing. I don't want to be healthy and fit, and then tied down to caring for my feeble sick husband who is only in that condition because he wouldn't eat right when he had the chance... I think what he eats IS MY BUSINESS! There ... That's my 2 cents worth on this subject ;-)

jillybeansalad

If he doesn't want to eat what you eat, then he should start brushing up on his cooking skills. I don't want to get all arm-chair psychologist on you, but I would just inquire if there is anything else bothering him. Maybe you both can have certain days where more "forbidden foods" are allowed. In the end, this is about /health/ and not just about losing weight. Even if his weight is fine, doesn't mean that he wouldn't benefit from the improved nutrition.

We all have triggers that may make us overreact. There also may be some underlying issues that is adding to the stress. Just communicate, it's generally the best answer.

MyChocolateDiet

So today I just join this site however in December I started to change the way I eat. More organic no fried or process food.
Well my husband seem so supportive please keep in mind he is 5'9 155 lbs very active so he eats any and everything. Me on the other hand is a different story I look at food it goes straight to my thighs and stomach. LOL. For the last two months he did not complain about the groceries nor what I cooked until tonight. He came home with buffalo chicken grande nachos. He offered me some I decline he kept saying come on try them their so good. Again I politely decline, I don't know what that triggered but he snapping saying he can't live like this anymore. He wants to drink whole milk instead of skim. He hates yogurt , he miss me cooking with salt, Mrs dash is disgusting. what he have to do to get some soda in here.This man was on a full rampage but the kicker is he threw all the food out then puts his debt card on the kitchen counter and said he wants "real" food here by time he gets home from work. I never been so pissed off in my life. He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night

where do you get "buffalo chicken grande nachos"?

( valentine's day is next week and hubby loves nachos and buffalo chicken.)

TigressPat

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

I have to disagree with part of this. I have tried to buy indulgent food to keep in my house for other people and you know who ends up eating it first - ME!!!!! For some of us its an all or nothing type of change because we dont have the self control that some of you do.

If he wants to eat his way, why cant you ask him to eat his junk food at lunch or with friends and eat healthy at home. Seems like a reasonable compromise to me.

I've never laughed so hard at the words "reasonable compromise" in my life!

SteveJWatson

Is that so?

Okay, then. Let's flip things around.

Let's say the husband is trying to gain weight, OP is the one who works and earns the income and has no weight issues/is happy with her weight. Husband is the one who buys and cooks the food. For this reason, he cooks up more calorie dense meals: big meat and potato dinners, nachos, etc, etc. Stuff like, well. I'd cook.
Is it fair to say she should simply eat smaller portions of what he eats? That could very well amount to barely anything - a tiny portion of nachos. Alternatively, she could eat similarly to him. And gain weight.

See where I'm going wth this?
The guy doesn't want to lose weight, and I suspect he also doesn't want to shovel down large volumes of food he clearly doesn't like.

Could easily eat smaller portions of a meat and potato dinner - its balanced. Dunno where nachos come in though - I thought they were like chips, no real experience of them over here.

And he could easily eat lots of food he isn't particularly enamoured with and after a while, he'll probably like it. I dont think shes feeding him cold brains and salad every night.

Brianna716

The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.

There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.

What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?

How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?

How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.

If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.

You're missing the part where instead of him having a reasonable conversation with her, he went bat****crazy and threw a temper tantrum. It's hard to respect somebody that clearly didn't respect his wife enough to explain that he wanted to be able to eat his food too in a manner that a husband should address his wife- ya know, like not throwing her food out...

No. Pretty sure I got that part of the OP's thread. Did you not get the part where they sat and had a long conversation and apologized to each other?

Respecting other people seems like such a big deal for some people.

This man has been accused of being an abuser and a drunk in this thread. Not to mention "bat [insert expletive here] crazy". That isn't deserved, and I'm not even sure OP expected that sort of rancor from the women on this board.

I am glad the OP and her husband are doing just fine with this. My comment wasn't even directed at her. It was directed to the angry hoard that decided to attack her husband and suggest physical violence.

Women who advocate that sort of thing are disrespecting themselves, their spouses and women as a group.

I choose not to advocate violence. If my remark against women suggesting "junk punches" offends you, does that say something negative against me? I tend to think it does not.

I didn't say he was crazy- I said he went crazy.

SteveJWatson

I seriously am baffled by how asinine the majority of the replies to this post are.
Do you know nothing about men?

So many of you are so quick to condemn the OP's hubby for being selfish, immature, abusive, insensitive, blah, blah blah...

Did any of you READ the original post?

He supported her for TWO MONTHS without complaining, without the slightest objection while she single handedly decided to change both their lifestyles without even consulting him.

So he acted like a child and blew up after 2 months of starving. I would too.

yeah, let's just chuck everything and kick him out. Or better yet, abuse him verbally and physically and play tit-for-tat money games like so many also suggested.

Yes, that's the perfect solution. It's all his fault for being skinny naturally and liking to eat "real" food.

And so many posters insist the hubby has an anger management problem, a drinking problem, a fear of his wife "getting Hot" problem. Projecting much?

How freaking idiotic are you?

The guy is not EATING. He's sucked it up and said nothing for TWO MONTHS. He's not overweight, yet he's being starved. He works. She doesn't. He pays for the groceries. She only buys the groceries she wants that are conducive to her new eating regime. She (and so many of you) don't seem to think that by paying for the groceries (and probably everything else in the house) he has a right to ask for FOOD he can enjoy. Maybe she doesn't have to cook it (though she should at least part of the time) but at the very least it should be AVAILABLE to him. And those of you who say he should get his own food are very quick to condemn him from bringing Taco Bell home! If he pays for it, it's ALL his food IMO.

there is no hidden agenda here, no ulterior motive. he doesn't want to sabotage her. He's HUNGRY.

Most men aren't that complicated Ladies.

I agree with those who say communication is essential to a relationship, of course, but it certainly does not sound as if the OP consulted her hubby at all when making major life decisions that affect him. and you all think this is fine, and he's an *kitten* for not being supportive!!! How would you feel if your SO suddenly decided that for his/her health you were going to become a vegan, a meatatarian, or eat only raw foods? Why is it ok her for to make that choice for both of them? Because you personally happen to agree with the choice she elected to make???
How self-centered, immature, small minded and short sighted.

Starved? I doubt it - nowhere did it say she was controlling his portion size, just what she makes.

I also imagine, unless its a very strange house, there is other food about that he could fill up on if dinner isn't quite enough.

Lets assume that the OP is not working (although they both seem to have jobs) - if the set up is that he is the breadwinner and she stays at home it is not ALL his money or ALL his food, it is half hers because she has a 'job' as housewife. The law sees it this way too.

Shadowknight137

Is that so?

Okay, then. Let's flip things around.

Let's say the husband is trying to gain weight, OP is the one who works and earns the income and has no weight issues/is happy with her weight. Husband is the one who buys and cooks the food. For this reason, he cooks up more calorie dense meals: big meat and potato dinners, nachos, etc, etc. Stuff like, well. I'd cook.
Is it fair to say she should simply eat smaller portions of what he eats? That could very well amount to barely anything - a tiny portion of nachos. Alternatively, she could eat similarly to him. And gain weight.

See where I'm going wth this?
The guy doesn't want to lose weight, and I suspect he also doesn't want to shovel down large volumes of food he clearly doesn't like.

Could easily eat smaller portions of a meat and potato dinner - its balanced. Dunno where nachos come in though - I thought they were like chips, no real experience of them over here.

And he could easily eat lots of food he isn't particularly enamoured with and after a while, he'll probably like it. I dont think shes feeding him cold brains and salad every night.

Good for you, then. But not everyone likes limiting portions, I sure as hell know I don't. And nachos I believe were mentioned in the first post as the husband's response to living off less satisfying food - yes, it has chips, of which you can make your own. No experience? Sir... You have my sympathy. Nachos are delicious.

Yes, he would get used to the food after a while. But why the hell should he? Again: he doesn't need nor want to lose weight, nor change his lifestyle. He doesn't enjoy the food she cooks, and shouldn't have to resort to buying take out to get a good meal. Compromising and getting foods for both OP and her husband is the most logical conclusion.

PopCorn_Said

[Not every man is going to be happy with no control over what he eats at home. Name calling seems a bit much.

And that's why every man should know how to cook.

And every woman should work full time?

I work full time (9 hours a day), I go to University, get home cook, clean, shop for groceries... Why do you guys assume that if you handle the house chores you are not working?!?!!?

If I go shopping, I am buying whatever I want. If I am cooking, I am cooking whatever I want. If you don't like this, then you know where the shop is... and the location of the stove. Get to it.

Name calling is a bit much tho... :flowerforyou:

Guess what...I work a full time job, I do all the cooking, the cleaning, and the shopping. Guess what else, when I go shopping I ASK my wife if she wants anything specific. Just because I do all the chores doesn't mean I get to dictate what is bought and I'm not going to act like a stubbor child who sits down in the aisle next to the toy they want but can't have. I'll happily by the box of oreos that she wants, even if I don't eat them.

That's great. I don't ask. If somebody wants something. they can ask me to get it, and I'll do it... but I as I said they know where the shop is and how to work the stove. Different people, different families, different realities...

I am not saying my way is the right way and y'all are wrong. I am saying, this is how I do it.

edge_dragoncaller

Starved? I doubt it - nowhere did it say she was controlling his portion size, just what she makes.

I also imagine, unless its a very strange house, there is other food about that he could fill up on if dinner isn't quite enough.

Lets assume that the OP is not working (although they both seem to have jobs) - if the set up is that he is the breadwinner and she stays at home it is not ALL his money or ALL his food, it is half hers because she has a 'job' as housewife. The law sees it this way too.

Page 10 - OP states that she is a stay at home mother...oh, and they already worked out their issue.

susiemeri

I'm trying to sort through all of the responses here but don't see anything addressing this: I cook healthy food for my family because I want THEM to be healthy as well. If my husband and teenagers want to stuff themselves silly with junk food, that's their perogative, but they won't be doing it on my watch.

My fiance died suddenly ten years ago at the age of 42 of a massive coronary. He ate what he liked, didn't take care of himself, and shunned the idea of any kind of healthy eating. I love my husband and my kids, and I love myself. I don't feel like the OP should have to keep unhealthy food on hand because her husband wants to eat that way.

What I do when cooking for the family is just make extras of the stuff that the rest of them like -- pasta or chili or whatever - cook it all in a healthy way and seriously? Nobody is the wiser. They don't know if the chili is vegetarian or if the meat is extra lean or whatever. And if they're still hungry, they know where the peanut butter is!

On the flip side of your coin, isn't your deception going to have long-term consequences for your teens? I mean in a few years, they are going to be on their own and not know about how to make healthy food choices. After all, mom made chili and pasta with PB for dessert all the time and we didn't gain weight!.... And by denying them the "junk food" you are taking away the chance to learn to eat food in moderation. Deception and ignorance are never the step in the right direction.

I see future MFP members in the making.

Because I make vegetarian chili and use lowfat meat? I think I'm missing something here. I said that they eat junk food, I just said that I won't make it. I don't see that as deception. Do you think it would be better to cook unhealthy food all the time so that they could learn not to eat it?

They are all active, healthy kids, though - so I don't think the way I cook is having any serious consequenses with their weight.

notenoughspeed

Damn skippy. Go get your food back. If he wants different food, let him get it. If he likes whole milk, get skim AND whole milk. Leave a half gallon of each in the fridge. I would be pissed as hell if my girlfriend threw out my food. Then again, she never would do anything like that. We kept food of each's liking in the house. Dayum. I would have a field day if my other demanded his food, but threw out all mine. I dunno what I would do. I think the cupboards would be empty till we had a talk about who's throwing out who's food again. I'min shock that anyone could be such an *kitten*.

SteveJWatson

Is that so?

Okay, then. Let's flip things around.

Let's say the husband is trying to gain weight, OP is the one who works and earns the income and has no weight issues/is happy with her weight. Husband is the one who buys and cooks the food. For this reason, he cooks up more calorie dense meals: big meat and potato dinners, nachos, etc, etc. Stuff like, well. I'd cook.
Is it fair to say she should simply eat smaller portions of what he eats? That could very well amount to barely anything - a tiny portion of nachos. Alternatively, she could eat similarly to him. And gain weight.

See where I'm going wth this?
The guy doesn't want to lose weight, and I suspect he also doesn't want to shovel down large volumes of food he clearly doesn't like.

Could easily eat smaller portions of a meat and potato dinner - its balanced. Dunno where nachos come in though - I thought they were like chips, no real experience of them over here.

And he could easily eat lots of food he isn't particularly enamoured with and after a while, he'll probably like it. I dont think shes feeding him cold brains and salad every night.

Good for you, then. But not everyone likes limiting portions, I sure as hell know I don't. And nachos I believe were mentioned in the first post as the husband's response to living off less satisfying food - yes, it has chips, of which you can make your own. No experience? Sir... You have my sympathy. Nachos are delicious.

Yes, he would get used to the food after a while. But why the hell should he? Again: he doesn't need nor want to lose weight, nor change his lifestyle. He doesn't enjoy the food she cooks, and shouldn't have to resort to buying take out to get a good meal. Compromising and getting foods for both OP and her husband is the most logical conclusion.

Because its what is being made. They both work - he could always make dinner, but he doesn't. Even if she didnt work, if someone is cooking, they have put time and effort into making dinner. To bring some fast food into the house at dinner time is a massive insult.

His behavior actually reminds me of my kid when she wants fishsticks for dinner and thats not what is being served up - difference is, shes a four year old girl.

prattiger65

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to

YEAH! I always think wives do have a right to control what their husbands eat. If we are spending so much time and effort on our own health, than surely we should do the same for them. After all ... who else does the husband expect to be taking care of him in the next 20 to 30 years when his health starts failing. I don't want to be healthy and fit, and then tied down to caring for my feeble sick husband who is only in that condition because he wouldn't eat right when he had the chance... I think what he eats IS MY BUSINESS! There ... That's my 2 cents worth on this subject ;-)

Are you serious? Surely your aren't. I haven't read all the replies here, but I am truly astonished at the ones i have read. Marriage is hard work and it takes compromise and understanding from both to make it work. First, I would NEVER treat my wife in that manner and would beat the hell out of anyone who did because she is precious to me. I am pretty sure she feels the same. (she is on here, she can chime in if she pleases) Without knowing the WHOLE story, you just cant say who is right or wrong here. It APPEARS to me that they both have some blame. My wife and I are partners in our marriage. I do the majority of the shopping, but we meal plan and prepare the list together...every time! We split the cooking duties based on who has something else going on. I chose to go on the journey with her, not for her, because I needed it as well. I love and respect my wife and support her decisions about her health, but I have NO right to demand her eat a certain way and she has NO right to demand that I eat a certain way. It is my body, you have no say so over it. Rant off.

DavPul

Ah MFP...where divorce is the FIRST possible response to everything and the only thread holding it back is the threat of alimony and child support payments.

And also the only place where people take an OP at face value. I'd bet a million dollars that the husband asked for better food at least 30 times before finally blowing his lid. This is the reaction of someone that reached their breaking point but still wasn't being heard. There are two unreasonable people in this story, not one

SteveJWatson

And also the only place where people take an OP at face value. I'd bet a million dollars that the husband asked for better food at least 30 times before finally blowing his lid. This is the reaction of someone that reached their breaking point but still wasn't being heard. There are two unreasonable people in this story, not one

See? I could almost understand if the husband had bought a joint of meat or whatever and some veg, or some other kind of manfood and cooked it up and said that hed like to eat that once in a while.

But what he did was bring in some take away crap (I have since googled nachos - they look like they are crisps with cheese on), and then proceeded to throw a wobbly.

Shadowknight137

Ah MFP...where divorce is the FIRST possible response to everything and the only thread holding it back is the threat of alimony and child support payments.

And also the only place where people take an OP at face value. I'd bet a million dollars that the husband asked for better food at least 30 times before finally blowing his lid. This is the reaction of someone that reached their breaking point but still wasn't being heard. There are two unreasonable people in this story, not one

Whoa, nice job on first post.

Because its what is being made. They both work - he could always make dinner, but he doesn't. Even if she didnt work, if someone is cooking, they have put time and effort into making dinner. To bring some fast food into the house at dinner time is a massive insult.

His behavior actually reminds me of my kid when she wants fishsticks for dinner and thats not what is being served up - difference is, shes a four year old girl.

Actually, I'm pretty sure he works while she stays at home to take care of the house, etc. I won't deny that's a job on it's own and takes a a lot of hard work, but part of that job includes providing adequate nutrition for the family - not just herself.
I think saying that bringing fast food is an "insult" is a tad bit unfair, considering the guy's been deprived of the stuff he likes for her benefits.

Tbh, now I see where you're coming from: you're a Dad with kids and see this attitude as such, and I get that, but it's not really the same. See, he works his *kitten* off, comes home and finds something immensely unappealing dished up before him. Something that literally repulsed him. He is made to drink skimmed milk, eat yoghurt and endure that godawful Mrs Dash.
And he grins and bears it for about two months. Hell, to give him credit. I'd have snapped after a week.
He doesn't have a weight issue, as has been stated. He doesn't need to be given "healthy" (ie, less calorically dense) foods. It's just plain unfair that he has to put up with this.

Y'know,I don't entirely disagree with you about the dinner thing. Sure he can eat larger portions. Fine. Whatever. By why, then, can't he also enjoy the food he likes? Like a glass or two of whole milk, some ice cream or - heaven forbid - fast food?
It's apparent that OP has (or, had) removed these things and others that he enjoyed otherwise this entire problem would not have raised in the first place. That's what's unreasonable, that's why the premise of this thread is somewhat hypocritical.