Please stop…I beg of you…

chocl8girl

darkguardian419

Is that Vin Diesel's dad in the back?

makenoexcuses

Amen.

WinnerVictorious

The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

sclarktiw

Totally agree with you OP!

Some of those ideas are just GROSS...

If I want a cookie...I eat a cookie...
If I want pizza, I do very thin crust with loads of veggies and ham and easy cheese...
If I want a taco, I substitute shredded chicken for the beef.

I am not going to deny myself pleasures, but I am going to make them healthier!

AllonsYtotheTardis

bgelliott

Someone had to say it

^^ This. Thank you OP. You're doing the world a great service, however, I do think that sometimes hamburger buns can be substituted:

I agree:

mmm mmm mmm

ninerbuff

Lol, recipes that are "substitutes" for the real thing are just that. Substitutes.

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Davina_JH

I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

thanks add me for motivation.

I did that too but I used cumin.

DoneBroughtSexyBack

did you say Blue Moon?

I'm game

mom9198

Thank you!

bcattoes

OP, I understand your point, but I also think the there are a lot of people that care more about what they want than what you want. And you are free to ignore posts, ya know?

DrBroPHD

I totally agree with this post...except I think the banana/egg pancakes taste super good...plus I add peanut butter, walnuts and chocolate chips...so they end up being 600 calories...

But I'll die before eating cauliflower crust pizza.

gotta draw the line somewhere

cubbies77

Those of us with insulin resistance and gluten issues are grateful for the cauliflower recipes. If you don't like them, ignore them. It isn't hard. I ignore recipes with bacon and sugar all day and don't require an entire thread to b*tch about them.

taso42

how about crockpot cheeseburgers?

ApexLeader

there are a ton of recipes online for "meatzas" which are pizzas without the dough. this isn't an abomination. it is for people who don't want to stuff their faces with bleached flower or other carbohydrates.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

My husband once tried Rocco DiSpirito's Now Eat This! Italian! cannolis.

Not a cannoli. Not even italian. Not even edible.

Nastiness in the shape of a pile of poo is all we could get from the recipe.

There is a special place in the Underworld for Rocco DiSpirito.

IronPlayground

I made this awesome taco once though that I"ll share with you but other than this taco I totally agree wtih you.

What I did was instead of using a corn tortilla because corn killed the Mayans and obviously all grains are fatal, I used a lettuce leaf. And then since beef is harmful because of that study by those chinese people I used clumps of cinnamon (it's really boosting on your metbolisms) but I clumped it up to really look like beef. And taco sauce is only like 10 calories if you use a syringe and just drip it on, so I added REAL TACO SAUCES and then some lettuce and omg it was just like eating a taco.

thanks add me for motivation.

I'm pretty sure lettuce is a negative calorie item. So, if you use a big enough leaf, you will completely negate the calories in the cinnamon-taco sauce concoction.

megsmom2

Whatevs. I'm gonna enjoy all those things you're hating on and probably more.

metaphoria

Black bean brownies taste exactly like black beans mixed with sugar.

Chick pea "cookie dough" is sweet hummus and a waste of chocolate chips. :explode:

Ooh! I just remembered I have a frosty in the fridge. Healthify my frosty, I dare ya, suckers!

Athijade

The quasi-food recipes are the herpes of MFP…there is an outbreak almost daily.

Mashed up banana + egg does NOT equal a pancake…it is an omelet…a nasty, fruit-based omelet.

Mashed up banana + oats does NOT equal a cookie…it is some weird form of oatmeal.

Mashed up cauliflower does NOT equal a pizza crust…it is an abomination.

Adding buffalo sauce to cauliflower does NOT equal a buffalo wing…this too, is an abomination.

Please, please stop trying to make junk food healthy…if I want to eat a buffalo wing, I want a piece of chicken slathered in tangy BBQ sauce. If I want a pancake, I want something I can smother with syrup. If I want pizza, I want it to be on a crust made of gluten-filled goodness. If I want a cookie, I will drown a double-stuffed Oreo in a glass of milk (real milk…from a cow).

Splurging once in a blue moon is not a sin. I will not go to hell for it. I will go to hell for finding wildly inappropriate things hysterically funny.

I think I am in love...

You said everything I think when I see those things.

Cauliflower is tasty... but it does NOT take the place of a pizza crust or chicken wings. No... just.... no.

Jacwhite22

how about crockpot cheeseburgers?

Now that sounds like one I would get behind....


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TigressPat

I sort of agree.

I also worry as a lot of the healthy recipes arent really that low cal.
as so many people on here are actually doing 1200 cal/day diets, how many faux cookies can they really eat without going over? Why not just have the one real thing?

I know in my own house if I bake a batch of cookies, it's dangerous.
baking faux cookies does not really make it any better, although I have seen quite a few recipes that make only one or two cookies, which is maybe the point?

Moderation for those who can't moderate for themselves?

SideSteel

Whatevs. I'm gonna enjoy all those things you're hating on and probably more.

Do you like tacos?

infamousmk

I totally agree with this post...except I think the banana/egg pancakes taste super good...plus I add peanut butter, walnuts and chocolate chips...so they end up being 600 calories...

But I'll die before eating cauliflower crust pizza.

Okay, it's totally cool to eat the banana/egg concoction if you think it tastes good.. but don't call it a 'pancake' -- call it ... uhh... 'banana patty' or something. The idea that you're (and I mean "you" in the group sense, not you, person who I am quoting) going to 'get away' with eating a 'pancake' by mixing up banana and egg is ridiculous. Eat lower calorie foods that fit your health needs by all means, but don't try to pass it off as a "tastes just like!" substitute to something else.

TigressPat

and yes, the chickpea cookie dough is ridiculous!!!

jofjltncb6

I've always thought that MFP would eventually suffer a civil war type split. Perhaps "pseudo recipes" will finally be the tipping point.

ashleyShades

This made me literally laugh out loud. The only recipe like this I've used was just a frozen banana and a tsp of peanut butter in the food processor. That is good but it's because I know it's not supposed to be ice cream haha

metaphoria

Also, whoever said making chocolate fudge out of pumpkin puree will likely suffer a special torment in hell for concocting that vomit.

hamncheese67

I don't get the appeal of the Krispy Kreme burger. I love me a good burger and some fine donuts, but I like them separate.

Back on topic, yeah... I agree. Call these things for they are, not what they aren't. Broccomole is not a guacamole substitute - it's a low cal cheese dip with pureed broccoli.