Online dating

PRMinx

I met my husband online....8 years ago. I will tell you it took some time to weed out the weirdo, creeper, drama filled, truth stretching, send money to me in Africa guys.

I die.

So true.

Momf3boys

I never have but when I was married my husband enjoyed the online entertainment...and that's why he is now my EX...lol

The_Enginerd

Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

This. On the flip.

I'm trying it now and it's not really going anywhere. I haven't been contacted by many guys that I would consider dating and they guys I have gone out with have been awful. Either they are really jerky, incredibly superficial or just not my type. Part of the problem is that most people contact people based on their first impression of the photo with little thought about anything else. So, if you aren't someone's physical type off the bat, it's not going to happen. It's not like in real life where you can see how people really present themselves, smile, interact with others and so on. I'm not the most photogenic person. I know I'm getting blown off by guys who might be interested if they saw the full package in person. That's unfortunate.

I'm curious what kind of guys you are getting that you would not consider dating. Someone not interesting? Someone with no job?

I got lucky meeting my SO 7 years ago through Craigslist of all places after I had given up on dating sites. I was there looking for motorcycles and perused over to the personals as kind of a lark.

dodihere

I found my husband online.

Ed98043

I did online dating in my 20's and had great success with it. Now in my 40's I tried it once and, like you, was left really depressed and discouraged. Not only because the guys that contacted me were seriously defective - but also because the site I signed up with (I think it was Match) also lets you see everyone that looked at your profile and didn't contact you. Gee, thanks for that.

I think online dating is best for young, pretty women. Men, unless they're insanely good-looking, have to work hard because men outnumber women and because 90% of the guys are going after the same 10% of the girls. You've got to have some serious game to get her attention for longer than it takes her to hit delete...or you've got to dial back your expectations a bit and take a chance on a girl that's maybe not getting a hundred offers a day.

odddrums

I've done a lot of dating using okcupid, it's alright but you really need to spend time on there and don't let a lack of responses get to you. I usually just send out a question or 2, simple and short. No need to get super involved in first messages, they can actually work against you. I think about it as meeting someone in person, you wouldn't start a conversation with a total stranger by rattling off a long story and a bunch of questions, it would just be a little "Hello, I like your glasses. Do you ever go swimming the ocean?" or something like that.

I met a few girlfriends and made some friends, but you definitely have to kiss a lot of frogs and put up with a lot of lack of contact. I say don't do just online dating, but keep it as a part of your normal dating routine of going out, talking to new people and expanding your social network.

Serenitytoo

I met my BF last March on POF. I had to weed through a lot of undesireables. I had pretty much given up and hadn't been on in months when on a whim I logged in again. His picture showed up in the recently added. He had only just rejoined to give it another try. I didn't tend to write to guys as I never got responses, but I wrote to him (who had also given up on writing messages since many had been ignored). Somehow that was the right time to connect. (Funny enough, he used to work where I do and our time overlapped for 3 years, but we never met)

The best tip I can give you is say more than Hi in your email. You don't have to put a lot of work in, but at least put something there that shows you actually read her profile. Ask an interesting question. For me the only ones I tended to ignore completely were the ones that had less than 5 words in the email. Otherwise I would at least send a response.

Good luck!

PRMinx

Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

This. On the flip.

I'm trying it now and it's not really going anywhere. I haven't been contacted by many guys that I would consider dating and they guys I have gone out with have been awful. Either they are really jerky, incredibly superficial or just not my type. Part of the problem is that most people contact people based on their first impression of the photo with little thought about anything else. So, if you aren't someone's physical type off the bat, it's not going to happen. It's not like in real life where you can see how people really present themselves, smile, interact with others and so on. I'm not the most photogenic person. I know I'm getting blown off by guys who might be interested if they saw the full package in person. That's unfortunate.

I'm curious what kind of guys you are getting that you would not consider dating. Someone not interesting? Someone with no job?

I got lucky meeting my SO 7 years ago through Craigslist of all places after I had given up on dating sites. I was there looking for motorcycles and perused over to the personals as kind of a lark.

I'm pretty open to most types, but there are some things that are immediately a turn off including, someone who smokes regularly (been there, done that), someone who does not have a job, someone who does not like animals, someone who can't type a coherent sentence, someone who wants a housewife and someone who does not want children. From a physical perspective, I'd have a hard time dating someone my height or shorter (i'm 5'5) and I prefer a guy who isn't skinnier than I am. If I can take you in a wrestling match, we are probably not a match.

The other big turnoff is the guy who will only date in the "skinny" category or otherwise comes across as superficial. If I see that, I usually run in the other direction because, to me, it implies that all they care about is looks and I don't want that kind of pressure (been there too and its awful).

A very nice to have is an interest in traveling and a non-picky eater.

I wouldn't think this is a tough list, but it's hard to find!

kloco

So I have caved to friends and signed up for online dating. Has anyone had any success at it? Currently it is a bit disappointing to say the least. Instead of a confidence booster it's making me actually depressed at the lack of response from people. just venting here.

I met my boyfriend online. We've been together for a year and a month now and many more months to come. We're super happy and I'll probably never find anyone else who meshes so well with me.

gioisa75

So I have caved to friends and signed up for online dating. Has anyone had any success at it? Currently it is a bit disappointing to say the least. Instead of a confidence booster it's making me actually depressed at the lack of response from people. just venting here.

I met my boyfriend online. We've been together for a year and a month now and many more months to come. We're super happy and I'll probably never find anyone else who meshes so well with me.

That's awesome! Thanks everyone for an actual response and not a sarcastic one.

amjo2693

Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

This. On the flip.

I'm trying it now and it's not really going anywhere. I haven't been contacted by many guys that I would consider dating and they guys I have gone out with have been awful. Either they are really jerky, incredibly superficial or just not my type. Part of the problem is that most people contact people based on their first impression of the photo with little thought about anything else. So, if you aren't someone's physical type off the bat, it's not going to happen. It's not like in real life where you can see how people really present themselves, smile, interact with others and so on. I'm not the most photogenic person. I know I'm getting blown off by guys who might be interested if they saw the full package in person. That's unfortunate.

I'm curious what kind of guys you are getting that you would not consider dating. Someone not interesting? Someone with no job?

I got lucky meeting my SO 7 years ago through Craigslist of all places after I had given up on dating sites. I was there looking for motorcycles and perused over to the personals as kind of a lark.

I'm pretty open to most types, but there are some things that are immediately a turn off including, someone who smokes regularly (been there, done that), someone who does not have a job, someone who does not like animals, someone who can't type a coherent sentence, someone who wants a housewife and someone who does not want children. From a physical perspective, I'd have a hard time dating someone my height or shorter (i'm 5'5) and I prefer a guy who isn't skinnier than I am. If I can take you in a wrestling match, we are probably not a match.

The other big turnoff is the guy who will only date in the "skinny" category or otherwise comes across as superficial. If I see that, I usually run in the other direction because, to me, it implies that all they care about is looks and I don't want that kind of pressure (been there too and its awful).

A very nice to have is an interest in traveling and a non-picky eater.

I wouldn't think this is a tough list, but it's hard to find!

Apparently, we're looking for the same guy...haha! I have the same dealbreakers and definitely stay away from the "skinny" category guys for the same reason. I'm also quite surprsed how hard it is to find a guy that fits this description. The men who have contacted me recently have all been old enough to be my father...no thanks!

sillygoosie

I haven't had much luck, but I'm pretty picky.

Have you thought about joining a singles Meetup group? That way you can meet people in person and there might be a lot less pressure.

misskerouac

I met my husband online (been together 5 years, married 4). It wasn't an online dating site, but we met talking on the message boards of a site we both belonged to. We talked for about a year before meeting (partly because I was in B.C. and he was in California) but it was good because we knew a lot about each other before we met in person.

Kimmy_927

I met my current bf online about 2 1/2 years ago. I was really picky. I almost never sent messages, and I'd delete many messages that I had received. If there was any indication or feeling that a guy just wanted sex I wouldn't even talk to him.

kloco

So I have caved to friends and signed up for online dating. Has anyone had any success at it? Currently it is a bit disappointing to say the least. Instead of a confidence booster it's making me actually depressed at the lack of response from people. just venting here.

I met my boyfriend online. We've been together for a year and a month now and many more months to come. We're super happy and I'll probably never find anyone else who meshes so well with me.

No problem!

It may take awhile to find someone. I know I've gone through my share of bad dates. It might've been 5-6 months before I found my current boyfriend. But like losing weight, you have to be patient and never settle for less.
That's awesome! Thanks everyone for an actual response and not a sarcastic one.

PRMinx

Apparently, we're looking for the same guy...haha! I have the same dealbreakers and definitely stay away from the "skinny" category guys for the same reason. I'm also quite surprsed how hard it is to find a guy that fits this description. The men who have contacted me recently have all been old enough to be my father...no thanks!

Thank you! I feel more normal now. I thought I was all alone in my quest for what seems to be the holy grail. Giggle.

And, yes, I forgot about the 50+ crowd. It's no offense to those gentleman - I certainly wish them luck - but my limit is up to 10 years older than me.

BEERRUNNER

Apparently, we're looking for the same guy...haha! I have the same dealbreakers and definitely stay away from the "skinny" category guys for the same reason. I'm also quite surprsed how hard it is to find a guy that fits this description. The men who have contacted me recently have all been old enough to be my father...no thanks!

Thank you! I feel more normal now. I thought I was all alone in my quest for what seems to be the holy grail. Giggle.

And, yes, I forgot about the 50+ crowd. It's no offense to those gentleman - I certainly wish them luck - but my limit is up to 10 years older than me.

Whats shakin babycakes.....im right in your age group!!!!!! Are you attracted to tall tanned latino men?!?!?!

justicer68

I did online dating in my 20's and had great success with it. Now in my 40's I tried it once and, like you, was left really depressed and discouraged. Not only because the guys that contacted me were seriously defective - but also because the site I signed up with (I think it was Match) also lets you see everyone that looked at your profile and didn't contact you. Gee, thanks for that.

I think online dating is best for young, pretty women. Men, unless they're insanely good-looking, have to work hard because men outnumber women and because 90% of the guys are going after the same 10% of the girls. You've got to have some serious game to get her attention for longer than it takes her to hit delete...or you've got to dial back your expectations a bit and take a chance on a girl that's maybe not getting a hundred offers a day.

I would have to agree with you that it is for a younger crowd...or at least with my experience with it. My subscription with Match recently expired and I am not renewing it. I went out with several different guys but there just wasn't any kind of spark or they were expecting a little under the cover action - which wasn't happening either. . It can be quite disenheartening to say the least.

cuterbee

I signed up for an online dating site and wound up corresponding with a bunch of women my age (I'm straight, so were they). I made some friends, and one of them who lived 5 hours away decided to throw a party and I was invited. Met my future husband at that party. ::happy: He'd been on the same dating site, but we hadn't connected (and based on his profile...probably wouldn't have! Not everyone is good at writing an inviting one).

If nothing else, network the heck out of it, and make the effort to have RL get-togethers for people in your city and surrounding areas.

PRMinx

Apparently, we're looking for the same guy...haha! I have the same dealbreakers and definitely stay away from the "skinny" category guys for the same reason. I'm also quite surprsed how hard it is to find a guy that fits this description. The men who have contacted me recently have all been old enough to be my father...no thanks!

Thank you! I feel more normal now. I thought I was all alone in my quest for what seems to be the holy grail. Giggle.

And, yes, I forgot about the 50+ crowd. It's no offense to those gentleman - I certainly wish them luck - but my limit is up to 10 years older than me.

Whats shakin babycakes.....im right in your age group!!!!!! Are you attracted to tall tanned latino men?!?!?!

Only if you share your wine!