Online dating

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  • Fed_up
    Fed_up Posts: 8
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    I met my husband on a free dating site almost 8 years ago. I sent him a message cuz I liked his profile and thought he was cute in that boy-ish sorta way. He only lived about 10 miles from me but we never would have met otherwise.

    We are about to celebrate our 7 year anniversary and I have never been happier.

    Give it a try. It can't hurt.

    Different sites have different purposes. Are you looking for some one-night stands? Meet-up sites are where you wanna go for casual. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship/marriage then maybe Match.com or something else like that.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    Never have never will....i don't see anything wrong with it though.

    Nothing wrong I suppose but I meet enough guys in real life that are all set to marry me and so on. No need for more. :)
  • aptechlana04
    aptechlana04 Posts: 1 Member
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    Online dating is a challenge, but yes it can work. I have a couple of people who met there significat other on a site.
    I met a guy that I have now been dating for 7 months at an online site. Depends on what you are looking for.
    Unfortuantely there are a TON of people out there that tend to make it challenging for everyone. Just one bad
    experience can taint how you look at the situations. Unfortunately a lot of people girls as well as guys tend to be
    out there looking for "eye candy" and not really wanting to get to know someone on a deeper level....it's all about 1st
    visual impressions. So people miss out on GREAT people based on looks. You will get the hang of it, and start to be
    able to weed out the superficial people, then it really does get easier and less hurtful. I too wanted to give up because
    it was just too hurtful......but I promise, it does get easier.....and you can find someone fun to date....Just keep it up.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    Do it! You will at the very least get laid.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    I just wanted to add (as I haven't seen this mentioned yet) that I am a very "independent" person. I like shopping by myself, I like spending time reading a good book at home by myself. I work with all women (except the boss), I am not a huge fan of bars/clubs, don't belong to any organizations, and am done with school. So I went YEARS without dating ANYONE. Alot of my friends were in relationships and were friends with other couples, so I rarely even met single guys through friends.

    Some people's lifestyles just don't allow for "chance meetings". And although you can make the argument "go out and make an effort" sure, I could, but then I'd also be representing something that I'm not. I'm not the outgoing "here i am!!!!" type.

    Like I said earlier, I met my husband online, but not on a dating site. Message boards of websites of something you enjoy could work just as well.
  • lilmissbamaqueen
    lilmissbamaqueen Posts: 184
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    Never have never will....i don't see anything wrong with it though.

    Nothing wrong I suppose but I meet enough guys in real life that are all set to marry me and so on. No need for more. :)

    Must be nice. :)
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    I met my ex via okcupid kind of. We we friends on there, then fbook, hadent met. Then one night he came to my rescue when I posted "I am going to fail phsyics if I don't get some help on this homework". He responded that he would help, met me for a drink and some acadamia. Well, we were inseperable after that night. Down the road we looked at our pfoiles again for fun and saw OKCupid gave us a 97% match. I would have to agree. The reason he is in the "Ex" catagory is I got stationed in NY from the west coast and had no idea when I would be back so we ended it sadly. But I ended up meating my husband in the time and I don't regret it. :) Good luck :0
  • jamiem1102
    jamiem1102 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    I don't know... I've always done well in the online dating world. I've also managed to make tons of friends along the way. I think it just takes a lot of patience... but being a girl, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for a guy to do the online dating thing. Although, I must admit, with my current man I sent out the first message. ;)
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    Actually, after that song post above, I realized I really got with my husband because of the itnernet. Facebook suggested we be friends, but we both recognized eachotehr from high school, so we had met before but wouldnt have reconnected otherwise.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I just married someone I never would have crossed paths with if not for an online dating site. Best of luck.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

    It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

    Apparently I'm not a "decent" woman (I am certainly not a girl ;)...I get maybe one message a month and the last one I received on a particular site was someone whose profile I hadn't even LOOKED at (or been matched up with, so I have no idea how they "found" me) who felt the need to write to me and tell me how I ugly I was. I'm on a few sites but get minimal contact and no response when I contact someone...makes me wonder if I'm really that ugly or something...and it's very disheartening because a ton of people I know HAVE met their significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via online dating.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I have done it several times, never through a dating site though. It just tends to happen. I recommend it and would do again.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    Been with the same girl for 11 years. We meet on Match, when all the dating sites were still free. Met girls for a while online before I meet her. Out of the dozens of girls I met online she was the only one who didn't try to get some on the first date:bigsmile:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I also think you get to know someone more completely that way.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
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    I will just say to keep your messages short, relevant to her profile, and representative of who you are. It's a numbers game, so don't spend too much time on those first messages.

    As an alternative, I recommend a site called meetup.com. It's a good place to meet new people, including potential partners.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Trust me I am. I am really trying to communicate with people.

    It's almost impossible. A decent girl will get dozens of messages a day, some of them hundreds on the free sites. The average quality of the girls there is pretty low compared to what you would see in day-to-day life, so the good ones are bombarded by guys. I've had a few dates in the past few years from it so it can work...but not really worth the time and effort. Writing relevant messages that get responses takes a LONG time and it's a bit absurd to spend hours writing say 50 messages (if you can even find 50 decent girls on there) and get just a couple responses back.

    I had the same problem... there were VERY few men who interested me at all. Most of them just seemed really whiny or desperate and it was a huge turn off.

    The few who were of any caliber just weren't interested (which I guess means I'm not a quality girl?). It was a real waste of time.

    I've had much better luck meeting fellows at WORK then I did online!!!!
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
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    online dating has a lot of good and positive qualities but it also has its downfalls. i've met some nice guys through the internet as well as some crummy ones- just like in the real world. i will say that it's a good tool to use if you're a rather busy or socially awkward/shy person. getting to know someone before meeting them face to face can be in your best interest if you typically put your foot in your mouth/say the wrong thing around new women.

    that said, keep your guard up a little bit. in my experience, a lot of online daters tell will decieve you/lie to you and even toy with your emotions just for entertainment. also, don't set yourself up for heartbreak (example: don't fall in love with a girl who lives really far away if neither of you are willing to relocate, etc.)
  • CaliforniaSweetheart
    CaliforniaSweetheart Posts: 989
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    I have never done online dating sites, but I did do speed dating once. It was pretty fun and even though I didn't meet anyone I wanted to date, a couple of my friends did!
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
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    Met on Match.com... been together for 3 years.
  • Fed_up
    Fed_up Posts: 8
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    Apparently I'm not a "decent" woman (I am certainly not a girl ;)...I get maybe one message a month and the last one I received on a particular site was someone whose profile I hadn't even LOOKED at (or been matched up with, so I have no idea how they "found" me) who felt the need to write to me and tell me how I ugly I was. I'm on a few sites but get minimal contact and no response when I contact someone...makes me wonder if I'm really that ugly or something...and it's very disheartening because a ton of people I know HAVE met their significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via online dating.

    Screw that, you are a very attractive woman. Whoever sent you that message was either jealous or some pscho jerk tryin to see what kind of a rise he could get outta you. Probably sends messages liek that all kinds of women cuz he's a woman hating jerk or something. Never give up because the right one is out there for you and will find you to be the most beautiful woman in the world!!

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