No Homo?

Gjallarhorn

A lot of men are insecure.
Some straight men aren't...... but some other are just ridiculous.


Now I want to end sentences with "yes homo" ;-)

I still like "no hetero" even better.

I think I'll start using "No feminist"

No hobo.

how about no schizo?

Umeboshi

how about no schizo?

Getting on the ableist bandwagon now, too?

CoderGal

A lot of men are insecure.
Some straight men aren't...... but some other are just ridiculous.


Now I want to end sentences with "yes homo" ;-)

I still like "no hetero" even better.

I think I'll start using "No feminist"

No hobo.

See that rymes with hobo and thats sarcastic...but your trying to be offensive about it because of the guy who was on the streets .I think maybe you are so easily offended because you try to be offensive to others so you don't know how to take a joke otherwise.

Off to bed, gnite

Umeboshi

A lot of men are insecure.
Some straight men aren't...... but some other are just ridiculous.


Now I want to end sentences with "yes homo" ;-)

I still like "no hetero" even better.

I think I'll start using "No feminist"

No hobo.

See that rymes with hobo and thats sarcastic...but your trying to be offensive about it because of the guy who was on the streets .I think maybe you are so easily offended because you try to be offensive to others so you don't know how to take a joke otherwise.

Off to bed, gnite

Or maybe you don't know how to take a joke, only dish them out?

MochaMixAZ

I found this refreshingly honest. I can't say I support this level of avoidance, but I do appreciate your willingness to post your views respectfully.

I've never seen that statement before this post. I don't play in all the forums, though.

I will admit, I am still homophobic. I grew up in a very religious, very conservative community. I had never even heard the term "Gay" until I was 12. My opinions have changed dramatically in the last 25 years, but I refuse to watch Brokeback Mountain, and I have never seen an episode of Will & Grace. My wife, and I do watch The New Normal, though, I usually turn my head, and look away if it looks like they are going to kiss. That being said, I do believe in gay rights, and that same sex marriage should be legal. I don't hate gays, I just don't know any either, so I haven't gotten used to seeing any together.

dave4d

I've never seen that statement before this post. I don't play in all the forums, though.

I will admit, I am still homophobic. I grew up in a very religious, very conservative community. I had never even heard the term "Gay" until I was 12. My opinions have changed dramatically in the last 25 years, but I refuse to watch Brokeback Mountain, and I have never seen an episode of Will & Grace. My wife, and I do watch The New Normal, though, I usually turn my head, and look away if it looks like they are going to kiss. That being said, I do believe in gay rights, and that same sex marriage should be legal. I don't hate gays, I just don't know any either, so I haven't gotten used to seeing any together.

Would you believe that I was quite homophobic for most of my life? WHILE I"M NOT SAYING ANY OF THIS APPLIES TO YOU, I was having a lot of trouble accepting my sexuality because I grew up in a household where being gay was unacceptable. I didn't come out until I was 30 and that was after six years of marriage. I wanted so badly to be straight to "fit in". But I couldn't fight nature. So I finally came out and accepted who I was. I'm so much the better for it.

No. It definitely doesn't apply to me. I'm not even Metro. I have to ask my wife which color Levis to wear with my shirts.

Due to religious upbringing I didn't understand gays. It wasn't until I read something written by a gay man that said, basically that seeing heteros kiss was revolting to him, that I was able to put myself in his shoes, and understand what they go through. It also made me feel a little better about myself for sicking up when movies show guys kiss. If it isn't natural to me, it seems sick. It isn't natural for a gay person to be affectionate with someone of the opposite sex, so that would be revolting to them. That was when my opinions on same sex marriage changed. I think a lot more people are changing their ideas on it, as well. Hopefully one day you guys will get equal treatment.

zorbaru

to be honest, i think people are way to sensitive and get offended for the most pitiful of reasons. the best way to not be offended/insulted is to make the conscious decision not to be offended.

I'm mean honestly, if there is no malicious intent, then who gives a rats *kitten*.

Im not racist, but i find jokes based on race funny. Just because i laugh at a joke, doesnt mean i hate the race it referes to. nor do i beleive it to be true. i laugh because the intent behind it is non hurtful. now if someone was perpetrating hate towards a race or homosexuals, i would be the first in there to defend them. but saying "no homo" at the end of a statement is to me far from insulting.

(and yes, being of greek descent, i have heard quite a few jokes regarding my race, so what do we do about it, we make movies and tv shows to make fun of them ourselves (Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Wog Boy, Acropolis Now (aussie sitcom) etc) )

Timshel_

Are the majority of guys on this site so insecure with their sexuality that if they compliment another guy, they have to end the comment with "no homo"? As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer. Yes homo.

I find more gay and bisexual folks identify their sexuality as part of conversations more often than hetros. So, wutevah.

no homo.

zorbaru

First: I agree that this is very offensive. One of my kids is queer.

I also dont understand how people can be offended by a tongue in cheek saying such as "no homo" and in the same breath refer to homosexual people as "queer".

hypocrite much?

MyChocolateDiet

I dunno why but everytime I keep seeing this very popular topic on this fitness site, with all the buff guys and stuff the word that keeps coming to my mind is "Bromo". Is that a thing?

EvanKeel

First: I agree that this is very offensive. One of my kids is queer.

I also dont understand how people can be offended by a tongue in cheek saying such as "no homo" and in the same breath refer to homosexual people as "queer".

hypocrite much?

Queer is an umbrella term used by many in the community who don't necessarily identify as "gay" or "bi" or whatever else.

Timshel_

More than no homo, we should hate when people don't know how to trim quotes.

No homo.

Gjallarhorn

First: I agree that this is very offensive. One of my kids is queer.

I also dont understand how people can be offended by a tongue in cheek saying such as "no homo" and in the same breath refer to homosexual people as "queer".

hypocrite much?

Queer is an umbrella term used by many in the community who don't necessarily identify as "gay" or "bi" or whatever else.

If anything that's worse... queer means strange or odd. gay means happy. *kitten* means bundle of sticks or a cigarette, either one of those definitions for *kitten* can be turned into a sexual innuendo. I prefer to use gay personally. a middle ground between humor and derogatory.

zorbaru

Buy a firearm. You have the right to defend yourself like everyone else.

there is another whole topic of debate right there.

EvanKeel

First: I agree that this is very offensive. One of my kids is queer.

I also dont understand how people can be offended by a tongue in cheek saying such as "no homo" and in the same breath refer to homosexual people as "queer".

hypocrite much?

Queer is an umbrella term used by many in the community who don't necessarily identify as "gay" or "bi" or whatever else.

If anything that's worse... queer means strange or odd. gay means happy. *kitten* means bundle of sticks or a cigarette, either one of those definitions for *kitten* can be turned into a sexual innuendo. I prefer to use gay personally. a middle ground between humor and derogatory.

*shrug* It's widely accepted as a preferred term in academic circles (particularly gender and sexuality studies) when talking about anyone who isn't hetero-normative.

Whether or not you think it's worse is sort of irrelevant...unless you have an admission you'd like to make, of course.

FloraSin

I personally feel like if you say something that could actually imply that you're gay, saying "No homo" won't make it less so. Really, it just makes it seem more like the person is focused on the relationship factor.

Though, if it helps, I frequently have male coworkers ask me to do things like grab a coffee and follow it with "No homo". I live in the bro-zone apparently. So, girl parts or no, engaging in casual friendly things with me, it's potentially homosexual.

Here in Canada, it seemed to start after the term appeared in a bunch of rap songs.

benol1

Are the majority of guys on this site so insecure with their sexuality that if they compliment another guy, they have to end the comment with "no homo"? As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer. Yes homo.

I would be pretty shocked if I saw a compliment from another guy with the qualifier "no homo". I think it speaks volumes about the author of such a statement.

zorbaru

Whether or not you think it's worse is sort of irrelevant...unless you have an admission you'd like to make, of course.

so its irrelevant what we think is bad, but relevant what you think is bad?

htrshort

First, I must confess that I didn't read anyone's replies - just your post. I couldn't deal with the potential of any ignorant responses. As a very proud hag (I can't ever bring myself to use the f-word which usually proceeds this moniker. sorry if the term offends), the fact that you are still having to deal with this issue infuriates me.

When I worked in the "diversity" organization at a company & posted factoids about different groups during their heritage months (Black History, Hispanic Heritage, etc), I literally received >5000 email complaints, including death threats and one voice mail that was just the sound a someone cocking a gun, because I thought that if you're going to educate people about one group, you should educate them about all. For the entire month of March, I posted the history of women's rights movements, significant dates in women's history, famous women in history and current events, etc. A new page of stuff every Monday, left up on our intranet home page all week. When, the first week in June, I posted information about the Stonewall Riots, you would have thought I was advocating giving Osama a fighter jet (it was a defense contractor where I worked). I was met with such aggression and hatred that, until then I'd been too naïve to see. I'd seen dear friends face some more subtle forms of discrimination & had been a fake girlfriend for a close friend who hadn't come out to his family, etc. but this level of hatred was so unbelievable.

I don't share this to garner any favor, but only as a little too long-winded introduction to my point that, til this day, I am still stunned by the amount of direct discrimination fueled by ignorance. And, as you're addressing here, how frequently people (hopefully unintentionally) are so unaware of the impacts of things that they casually say. Decades ago, it was acceptable to say, when reading the news, that "a black man rescued a woman from a fire," etc. As if the color of a man's skin had any place in the story. It's one thing when giving the description of someone for some valid reason. But, back then, because anyone with darker skin was a second class citizen, pointing out that it wasn't a white man somehow seemed ok.

Over time, we realized that when the color of someone's skin isn't relevant (as in the majority of situations), pointing it out it a subtle way of reminding people that they aren't the same, aren't as valuable. I see this as similar. In a situation where sexual orientation has no relevance, people point it out (either by saying they're not or pointing out that you are gay). I'd like to think it's naïve, unintentional insensitivity to someone else's perspective. Not a good thing, but not nearly as horrible as an intentional way of saying homosexual men and women aren't the same, aren't as valuable. I don't know what it is going to take to help people see how a flippant comment can hurt; separate but equal shouldn't exist for any group; that sexual orientation doesn't need to be brought up in conversations where it has no relevance. I don't know if it's lack of sensitivity to people who aren't exactly like "you," fear of something "you" don't understand, insecurities, or what.

One of the reasons I fell for my husband was that one Friday night, literally only weeks after we met, we went to a gallery opening/wine tasting with 15 of my friends. It happened to be 15 gay men (some single, some couples), this guy I'd just started dating, and me. The conversation he had with my friends was no different than conversations he's had with any other friends of mine. When we all went back to a friend's house for drinks, it was just as if he was at any of his buddy's house. He wasn't trying to be a gay rights activist; he wasn't trying to prove to me he could "handle" hanging out with my boys. He was just sitting around talking to some guy friends of mine, no more, no less.

I am encouraged by men like him that we will eventually get to a place where this not-so-subtle form of discrimination does exist. Lots of times, this change is spurred by open, respectful conversation. I pray your starting this discussion can have an impact on someone and make them see I don't end conversations with "I'm a woman," "I'm white," "I'm Episcopalian," unless it's relevant to what's being discussed. So, as you said, there's no need to say "I'm straight," or anything to the effect unless it's relevant to what's being discussed. Thanks for sharing your opinion

EvanKeel

Whether or not you think it's worse is sort of irrelevant...unless you have an admission you'd like to make, of course.

so its irrelevant what we think is bad, but relevant what you think is bad?

Depending on what community is being referred to, yes. Obviously.