No Homo?

zorbaru

if you think that i dont know what tennis and gay marriage arent related, then you are a nutter. of course they are different. i was using that as an example of what i meant by saying groups asking for equality are asking for more.

my issue was that someone saying that because im greek, despite the fact that there are many verbal slurs on greek people, my opinion of verbal slurs towards gay people is invalid because greeks are allowed to get married. that is ridiculous. a verbal slur is a verbal slur, despite any other prejudices there may be towards a specific group.

what about the idea that homosexuality was derived from greeks. "doing it greek style" etc etc. if someone makes a joke about that my response is "im greek, but not that greek"

my MAIN point is that people have the ability to choose how they react to something. if something isnt directly affecting me, then i choose to not worry about it. who cares if some dude you have never met, nor will never meet says no homo at the end of his post. i fail to see why anyone would be offended by that. it is two words that have no impact on anyone.

people need to chill the hell out. take a breath and get over it. if something was truly detrimental to the idea of gay rights, or was some real discrimination against gay people, such as being sacked simply for being gay. or truly racist, then yes, i do have a problem with it. but the idea that "no homo" put at the end of a post is going to push the approval of gay marriage back years is nuts.

i saw a tv show where they were testing the idea of what people found racist. They went around asking people if they thought a joke was racist. The joke in question was "what do you call 10 arabs at the bottom of the ocean? A well funded submarine exhibition"

90 % of people thought it was racist. most of them were saying it was racist even before the guy stopped talking. people are too quick to be offended by something when in reality they need to take a step back and think about if there is really anything malicious about what is being said.

XDiet_SlayerX

I understand what you mean. I am more then confident with my sexuality to compliment another man. And if he is offended by the compliment or feels uneasy about it he can and should speak up. If they think I'm gay I could care less. Other people's opinions do not rule me.

Natihilator

oh gosh this thread is still going :indifferent:

The fact that the sender of the communication doesn't see (or intend) offense in the message does not mean that none was received, or that the offense is somehow not legitimate.

^ I'm just gonna quote this for truth because so many people just don't understand it.

SeaRunner26

I figured that this thread would be long gone by the time I logged back in. People seem to have a lot of opinions on the subject. Thanks to those who have lent their support. Thanks to those who tried to understand. Sorry to those who just don't get it.

EvgeniZyntx

if you think that i dont know what tennis and gay marriage arent related, then you are a nutter. of course they are different. i was using that as an example of what i meant by saying groups asking for equality are asking for more.

my issue was that someone saying that because im greek, despite the fact that there are many verbal slurs on greek people, my opinion of verbal slurs towards gay people is invalid because greeks are allowed to get married. that is ridiculous. a verbal slur is a verbal slur, despite any other prejudices there may be towards a specific group.

what about the idea that homosexuality was derived from greeks. "doing it greek style" etc etc. if someone makes a joke about that my response is "im greek, but not that greek"

my MAIN point is that people have the ability to choose how they react to something. if something isnt directly affecting me, then i choose to not worry about it. who cares if some dude you have never met, nor will never meet says no homo at the end of his post. i fail to see why anyone would be offended by that. it is two words that have no impact on anyone.

people need to chill the hell out. take a breath and get over it. if something was truly detrimental to the idea of gay rights, or was some real discrimination against gay people, such as being sacked simply for being gay. or truly racist, then yes, i do have a problem with it. but the idea that "no homo" put at the end of a post is going to push the approval of gay marriage back years is nuts.

i saw a tv show where they were testing the idea of what people found racist. They went around asking people if they thought a joke was racist. The joke in question was "what do you call 10 arabs at the bottom of the ocean? A well funded submarine exhibition"

90 % of people thought it was racist. most of them were saying it was racist even before the guy stopped talking. people are too quick to be offended by something when in reality they need to take a step back and think about if there is really anything malicious about what is being said.

Irony.
Says he's not racist. Posts racist joke.

franch71

Haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to support the original post. Am with you all the way SeaRunner - can't think why anyone wouldn't be.

LilacDreamer

Unfortunately, it's not just on this site. it's pretty much everywhere. As a lover of all people, gay or straight, and a fellow inhabitant of this planet, I find it incredibly insulting as well.

zorbaru

Irony.
Says he's not racist. Posts racist joke.

irony,
says joke is racist, doesnt understand what the word racist means.

Food4Fuel

Are the majority of guys on this site so insecure with their sexuality that if they compliment another guy, they have to end the comment with "no homo"? As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer. Yes homo.

I understand sure, but in American culture its just not common for a straight male to comment about another straight males looks, no big deal, hence the disclaimer. Probably more in jest than anything, making light of a cultural anomaly. If you said" I'm gay but girl you look hot", I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, or think you somehow were insinuating that being straight is a bad thing. Some people are gay, some aren't, who really cares.

Sarauk2sf

Depends on what you are complimenting I imagine. "Nice package" probably would not go over well with certain people.

Yet I can get away with saying to a gal "nice rack" without ending the comment with "no hetero".

If someone I did not know was joking or did not know well enough said that to me, trust me, they would not get away with it.

Sarauk2sf

I figured that this thread would be long gone by the time I logged back in. People seem to have a lot of opinions on the subject. Thanks to those who have lent their support. Thanks to those who tried to understand. Sorry to those who just don't get it.

To be honest, I get the impetus behind the concern, but being patronizing to people who do not have the same view is not exactly a winning formula.

myofibril

As a gay guy, I find this kind of insulting. As if being gay is something I should be ashamed of and requires a disclaimer.

As a straight guy I agree.

It's beyond stupid...

ETA: le sigh - I am a bit premature this morning so I should add: depending on the context (which usually is daft mind you...)

EvgeniZyntx

Irony.
Says he's not racist. Posts racist joke.

irony,
says joke is racist, doesnt understand what the word racist means.

I'd say jingoist or xenophobic or even anti-semitic but I want to make sure you get it.

In the common-day parlance, "racist" has become the cognitive synonym of those terms for this type of attempted humor at the cost of a social/ethnic group. Your example is racist in that sense. To try to worm your way out of it is at best a "no true dutchman" fallacy - no joke is truly racist by the tightest definition of racism if it doesn't specifically speak about races, it's still an attempt to get a chuckle (a poor one) by the denigration of an cultural minority or ethnic group.

In case you can't get that and need simple definitions, here you go: your joke is offensive.

deceived1

It's definitely offensive, but it's just people being incredibly insecure with themselves.

chrishgt4

Irony.
Says he's not racist. Posts racist joke.

irony,
says joke is racist, doesnt understand what the word racist means.

I'd say jingoist or xenophobic or even anti-semitic but I want to make sure you get it.

In the common-day parlance, "racist" has become the cognitive synonym of those terms for this type of attempted humor at the cost of a social/ethnic group. Your example is racist in that sense. To try to worm your way out of it is at best a "no true dutchman" fallacy - no joke is truly racist by the tightest definition of racism if it doesn't specifically speak about races, it's still an attempt to get a chuckle (a poor one) by the denigration of an cultural minority or ethnic group.

In case you can't get that and need simple definitions, here you go: your joke is offensive.

Clearly missing the point of the joke...

Just so you are clear let me spell it out - the joke sets up as if it is a racist joke with the expected outcome being one of making light of some dead Arab people. It then flips it, drawing attention to one's original assumption and making us question our own ideas and prejudices.

The only person who should be offended by that joke is the hardcore racist.

chrishgt4

And in relation to the 'no homo' thing - it is an acknowledgement that what has been said could be taken in a homosexual context. At no point does it say that being homosexual is a negative.

I don't think there is anything prejudice about clarifying the context in which a comment is made...

What's up...U mad bro?

Also - whilst the intention behind a comment isn't all that matters in whether someone finds it offensive or not, I do think there has to be a certain level of common sense applied and clearly in some instances - this being one - the offended party has gone out of their way to find a negative way to view the comment.

To be honest, I think it speaks to the offended party's own insecurities more than anything. Perhaps those offended are just not that secure in their homosexuality?

myofibril

And in relation to the 'no homo' thing - it is an acknowledgement that what has been said could be taken in a homosexual context. At no point does it say that being homosexual is a negative.

Then why use it? If it's meant to be funny I would say it is usually employed in the context that it is homosexual people who are the butt of the joke (see what I did there? ) rather that the person making it.

Personally I think it is generally used in a negative way which implicitly conveys the message "I don't want you to think I am homosexual or associated with homosexuality"

Why not? If the person's view of homosexuality is in fact neutral or positive they wouldn't feel the need to express it - it simply is a non issue because the association is a moot point. If your view point is negative then it has to be clarified because it creates as "adverse" association with your identity.

It's always easier to make a joke when it is someone else who pays the price of it...

chrishgt4

And in relation to the 'no homo' thing - it is an acknowledgement that what has been said could be taken in a homosexual context. At no point does it say that being homosexual is a negative.

Then why use it? If it's meant to be funny I would say it is usually employed in the context that it is homosexual people who are the butt of the joke (see what I did there? ) rather that the person making it.

Personally I think it is generally used in a negative way which implicitly conveys the message "I don't want you to think I am homosexual or associated with homosexuality"

Why not? If the person's view of homosexuality is in fact neutral or positive they wouldn't feel the need to express it - it simply is a non issue because the association is a moot point. If your view point is negative then it has to be clarified because it creates as "adverse" association with your identity.

It's always easier to make a joke when it is someone else who pays the price of it...

'Then why use it' - as I said - to acknowledge the comedy of a statement that can be taken in another way like a double entendre. Much like "that's what she said" or "said the actress to the bishop".

Also - if we assume the comment is made seriously, and not as a joke (at no one's expense). Just because my view on homosexuality is neutral, that doesn't mean that I would necessarily want people to think that I was homosexual. Especially if I had paid a complement to a person and thought they may take it in the sense that it was a sexual advance. That would be embarrassing. Similarly; I don't hate women, but I would be upset if a person thought I was a woman.

Similarly, I would expect that a homosexual person would, whilst probably not bothered much either way in most circumstances, not want to be thought of as heterosexual - particularly in circumstances where it could change people's perceptions of the comments they are making. i.e. sexual advance vs genuine compliment.

TheRoadDog

It's definitely offensive, but it's just people being incredibly insecure with themselves.

No *kitten*?

Chadomaniac

this is gay (no homo)