most emberassing place you've ever audibly farted

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Replies

  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    It's so rare that I audibly fart that I can't think of anything. However, once we were at church when my son was a little baby and the entire congregation was silent as our pastor was praying for two guys leaving for a mission trip. Anyhow, the guys were right in front of us and mid prayer my son totally sharted, a big long loud juicy one. Laughter rippled out among us and the guys who were being prayed for were in tears laughing.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    No. Ladies don't fart. :glasses:
    We whisper in our panties.

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Shara126
    Shara126 Posts: 144 Member
    Oh AND......one time during "sexy time" with a new beau ( now my husband.) I still crack up over that one. LOL
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    In the middle of a very quiet vinyasa flow yoga class while moving into downward facing dog! :blushing:

    FTW
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
    Well probably one time when i was "wrestling"
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    not me, but i was embarrassed like it was me.. my husband had to take me to the doctor on a saturday to get a tetanus shot because i'm a big klutz and we're sitting in a little waiting room right off the reception, its deadly quiet, no people, except a few ladies in reception... so we're sitting there and he lets one rip so loud, like a trumpet! and i turn beet red, he just stands there like he won a prize. i get the giggles. once i calm down, he lets another one rip, even louder, at this point, the ladies in reception cant hold the laughter in, i'm again beet red, he of course has a smug grin on his face. he still refers to it as "that time i farted in kaiser"... makes me giggle every time... but so embarrassing!!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I have to make sure I'm clear of any potential victims and I'm outside...with my protein and fiber intake, it can be pretty dangerous...

    grocery-carrying-badass.gif
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

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  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 801 Member
    No. Ladies don't fart. :glasses:
    We whisper in our panties.

    Fact!
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    This has never happened to me. I'm like a fart ninja. Only time I did was in front of a boyfriend. He actually looked relieved.
  • SF2514
    SF2514 Posts: 794 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

    Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.

    Now back to laughing.

    Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up =).
  • maruby95
    maruby95 Posts: 204 Member
    OMG this thread is making me cry.

    My family takes great pride in audibly farting (at home of course. Well...mostly), so it's certainly not rare. But I am known for "larfing"- farting from laughing. Comes out like machine gun fire. Which of course is funny. Which makes me laugh. Which leads to more larfing...you get the picture.
  • I had a brand new coworker and we shared a VERY small office... it was late in the day, I was totally into what I was working on, and forgot there was another person in this room I was used to being alone in.

    I mean, I went for the cheek lift and everything - no sense in letting it get stifled in crappy office chair foam.

    We ended up becoming really close friends, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm so classy.

    I think you've just become my new best friend!

    When I was a young kid, I was taking a bath with a friend and farted. She puked right in the tub it smelled so bad! Another time I farted in the car with my fiance and he got out and puked! Another time I farted around him and he had to go stick his head in the freezer to keep his eyes from watering. It's like we were meant to be:love:
  • cindyj7
    cindyj7 Posts: 339 Member
    I had a brand new coworker and we shared a VERY small office... it was late in the day, I was totally into what I was working on, and forgot there was another person in this room I was used to being alone in.

    I mean, I went for the cheek lift and everything - no sense in letting it get stifled in crappy office chair foam.

    We ended up becoming really close friends, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm so classy.

    I think you've just become my new best friend!

    When I was a young kid, I was taking a bath with a friend and farted. She puked right in the tub it smelled so bad! Another time I farted in the car with my fiance and he got out and puked! Another time I farted around him and he had to go stick his head in the freezer to keep his eyes from watering. It's like we were meant to be:love:

    Damn girl, what are you eating?????
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,638 Member
    while having sex, at the moment of completion, and of course it was a BJ. I was mortified and she just laughed her *kitten* off.



    and we still dated after that. What a gal!
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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

    Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.

    Now back to laughing.

    Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up =).

    Angel or not kids are there to be taught and that includes manners and respect, etc. not having teachers take their issues out on them. I don't care if they are in the 7th grade either. So tired of this kind of stuff. Really. As a habit, and on purpose that's just out of line. Oh and don't tell me to "shut up" who do you think you are? If it's so hard on you being teachers step aside and make room for those teachers that got shown the door a few years back.
  • I had a brand new coworker and we shared a VERY small office... it was late in the day, I was totally into what I was working on, and forgot there was another person in this room I was used to being alone in.

    I mean, I went for the cheek lift and everything - no sense in letting it get stifled in crappy office chair foam.

    We ended up becoming really close friends, and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm so classy.

    I think you've just become my new best friend!

    When I was a young kid, I was taking a bath with a friend and farted. She puked right in the tub it smelled so bad! Another time I farted in the car with my fiance and he got out and puked! Another time I farted around him and he had to go stick his head in the freezer to keep his eyes from watering. It's like we were meant to be:love:

    Damn girl, what are you eating?????

    For the first one with my friend...w/e my parents were feeding me...probably a ton of beans or something! With my fiance (he was my bf at the time...and after all that he still wants to marry me!) Probably a bunch of McDonalds, T Bell, any other kind of fast food!

    He has gotten me back a few times though. I get the dutch oven every now and then! We have a fan in our bedroom so when he farts at anytime during the night it wafts my way.
  • shellma00
    shellma00 Posts: 1,684 Member
    I am laughing so hard I am crying... I am sure the people walking by my desk are wondering what is so funny....
  • Shell_7609
    Shell_7609 Posts: 786 Member
    At the chiropractors office on the massage table
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

    Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.

    Now back to laughing.

    Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up =).

    Angel or not kids are there to be taught and that includes manners and respect, etc. not having teachers take their issues out on them. I don't care if they are in the 7th grade either. So tired of this kind of stuff. Really. As a habit, and on purpose that's just out of line. Oh and don't tell me to "shut up" who do you think you are? If it's so hard on you being teachers step aside and make room for those teachers that got shown the door a few years back.

    you must realize that you are arguing about teacher behavior in a thread discussing farting, right? Perhaps this is not the proper forum or situation to argue this? Maybe just have fun and laugh at the stories about vapoorizing.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    In the middle of a very quiet vinyasa flow yoga class while moving into downward facing dog! :blushing:

    FTW
    Mattagascar... every time you reply to a post, I have to whip out the Google to find out what you said!
  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
    ...
    But I am known for "larfing"- farting from laughing. Comes out like machine gun fire.
    ...
    Mine too was a 'larf'. I was... I dunno... elementary school age... and it was in a bingo hall. Between the announcing of the numbers, it's deathly quiet until someone wins. The announcer was smothering the mic and someone nearby made a joke about him eating the mic. I 'larfed' so hard/loud that I actually lifted out of my seat a couple of inches! It probably lasted a full 5 sec! (Doesn't seem like long, but look at your watch and time it) Being the typical self-centered lil kid, I dramatically pointed at my Mom and loudly said multiple times, "Ewwww, Mom! Why'd you do that?!" Her laughter instantly turned to shame. I still feel guilty even though she forgave me that very night. She was a saint that night... in her place I probably would've choked me right then and there.
    ...
    I'm sorry, was this supposed to be a funny story?
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

    Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.

    Now back to laughing.

    Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up =).

    Angel or not kids are there to be taught and that includes manners and respect, etc. not having teachers take their issues out on them. I don't care if they are in the 7th grade either. So tired of this kind of stuff. Really. As a habit, and on purpose that's just out of line. Oh and don't tell me to "shut up" who do you think you are? If it's so hard on you being teachers step aside and make room for those teachers that got shown the door a few years back.

    That escalated quickly...

    I-SHAKE-MY-BRUSH-BACK-AND-FORTH.gif

    This is a fart thread...it's humorous...start laughing and get over it.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Seventh grade. Middle of Social Studies class. A really LOUD ripper of a fart. I could not prevent the blush covering my whole face and neck, so everyone knew it was me. And my crush at the time was in that class.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]
    Overreact much?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Sex...really good "O"...pffffftttt.
    Embarrassed.

    'Nuff said.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    At the chiropractors office on the massage table
    This is one of my greatest fears, and why I won't go for a full-body massage.

    Also terrifying, the thought of farting while getting a pap smear. Has never happened to me, but I still fear it every time!
  • julianpoutram
    julianpoutram Posts: 331 Member
    Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)

    I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.

    Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.

    [hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]

    Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.

    Now back to laughing.

    Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up =).

    Angel or not kids are there to be taught and that includes manners and respect, etc. not having teachers take their issues out on them. I don't care if they are in the 7th grade either. So tired of this kind of stuff. Really. As a habit, and on purpose that's just out of line. Oh and don't tell me to "shut up" who do you think you are? If it's so hard on you being teachers step aside and make room for those teachers that got shown the door a few years back.

    Oh you are so abysmally dull...