most emberassing place you've ever audibly farted
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Church pew. Not one of the nice padded ones either. Old school wooden bench which amplified and allowed for a bit of an echo. Of course, the worse part was that I was the visiting preacher. I don't think I was invited back to that church to preach again.0
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THE BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!! No real stories from me though, grew up in a family where that is what you did usually the dog got blamed or mom would say "ducks, did you hear the ducks?" LOL I do warn hubby when I fart under the covers......0
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ew.. no.. girls dont fart...0
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OMG this thread is making me cry.
My family takes great pride in audibly farting (at home of course. Well...mostly), so it's certainly not rare. But I am known for "larfing"- farting from laughing. Comes out like machine gun fire. Which of course is funny. Which makes me laugh. Which leads to more larfing...you get the picture.
I
your family! Mine is the same way...
When our youngest daughter was three, our oldest daughter waved her over close, told her her butt told secrets and turned her butt to her little sister's face and let one rip. Nearly 15 years later, it still cracks us up! We put the fun in dysfunction!0 -
My senior year in high school I was sitting in French class and I sneezed and farted at the same time. And it was loud. The whole class all turned around and looked at me. Well me being the smarta$$ that I am I looked at everyone and said, "What you haven't sneezed and farted before?" I don't think I'll every live that one down.0
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It wasn't me it was my friend/co worker. One of her patients started coding and because she is short she prefers to get on top and straddle her patients while she does chest compressions. I was trying to work around her and push some IV meds and I somehow ended up being on the receiving end of her fart. We still laugh over it and she knows I owe her one.0
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I remember my most embarrassing one ever.. it happened in third grade and I about died from the embarrassment!
I was holding a massive one in, as I usually do if I'm around people, and my friend and I had some assignment. I don't even remember what the assignment was, but it had people on it, and he proceeds to draw a HUGE male reproductive organ on one of his figures. This caused me to laugh, which then caused a sonic boom. Mass.. and I mean MASS.. laughter ensued. The teacher had to calm everyone down - I think my face was red as a beet!0 -
When we were kids and on a family road trip, my dad would let one rip and then lock the window controls and then wait until someone noticed the smell. We'd be in the back seat gasping for air and carrying on like it was the worst smell ever. Cracked us all up!
The worst was when my older sister would eat fried eggs... her gas would be sulfuric and the smell would hang in the air like a cloud around us. As I recall it only every happened on those long road trips from Oklahoma to Minnesota...0 -
THE BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!! No real stories from me though, grew up in a family where that is what you did usually the dog got blamed or mom would say "ducks, did you hear the ducks?" LOL I do warn hubby when I fart under the covers......
My family is like this too. My grandfather would always say really loudly "Did you hear that bullfrog?!" Also, when I was a kid, when I needed to fart in my cousin's house, I would do it in the bathroom. If my younger cousin happened to walk in after I came out, I would tell her I was feeding a skunk in there :laugh:0 -
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a while back now,
after a few beers it's curry, chicken madras, the night before, going to work 6.30am the next morning, get in the elevator & have VERY bloated stomach; difficult to hold on till i get to the gents so I let it go, it lasts at least 5 seconds. No worries, it's early.
arrive at my floor, doors open & I step out, & the hottest girl in our room by miles steps in!!!0 -
I did the sneeze-fart thing in the 3rd grade and the hottest guy in the class called me out for it. Mind you, I was the chubby, smart, average looking kid... :noway:
There were a couple times during sexy time that I did as he made me "O". Seriously so good, I couldn't hold it! :blushing: being the super wonderfully sweet man he is, he didn't say a thing.:smooched:0 -
This thread has got to be the best ever! I am laughing so much, that my sides are aching! I, unfortunately, fart everywhere and have far too many episodes to recount! Lifts, small rooms, shops the lot! Probably as a result of a life of dieting, a household full of boys and men and basic rudeness on my part. I love it when our old dog farts....he looks so surprised at himself, looks back at his bum and then looks at one of us, as if it's one of us!!
:blushing:0 -
Probably would have to be in a bedroom...with a lady0
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I love this thread!!0
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Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)
I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.
Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.
[hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]
Oh shut up. You've got no idea how rotten most kids are even if you think your's is an ickle angel. I know because I've been that nastey 7th grade ***** and I've worked in a middle school. Maybe you should be a teacher. See where you stand then haha.
Now back to laughing.
Mine was in the 3rd grade lunch line next to the guy I adored lol. He never brought it up
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This^
Everyone at some point has been an absolute D to the teacher whether you admit it or not lol! The OP "stealth bomber" if you will, wins the internet... and my heart. Coolest. Teacher. Ever. :drinker:0 -
Church pew. Not one of the nice padded ones either. Old school wooden bench which amplified and allowed for a bit of an echo. Of course, the worse part was that I was the visiting preacher. I don't think I was invited back to that church to preach again.
Confucius say, "Man who fart in church, sit in own pew."0 -
There's always someone that wants to throw cold water on a party. :grumble:
I have loved loved loved this thread. Thanks OP. :drinker: :flowerforyou: :bigsmile:0 -
THE BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!! No real stories from me though, grew up in a family where that is what you did usually the dog got blamed or mom would say "ducks, did you hear the ducks?" LOL I do warn hubby when I fart under the covers......
My family is like this too. My grandfather would always say really loudly "Did you hear that bullfrog?!" Also, when I was a kid, when I needed to fart in my cousin's house, I would do it in the bathroom. If my younger cousin happened to walk in after I came out, I would tell her I was feeding a skunk in there :laugh:
At my house it was "Did you see that elephant run through" or bullfrogs, ducks, or barking spiders0 -
I have a few:
During football practice. I was playing left guard.I bent down to a 3 point stance and let one out that sounded like a moose dying. The quarterback walked up and called a time out. We had to respot the ball 20 yards away.
I was in the weight room doing dead lifts when this girl that i had a crush on walked in. She was standing behind me talking to the teacher when i let one go that sounded like an air horn. My workout partner asked me if i was ok and i said "well i feel lighter now".
My family and i were at the golden corral after my grandmothers funeral. As we were leaving I let out a loud fart. My brother and sister were behind me. My sister kept asking what that smell was and my brother thought it was a sewer backup. I turned around and told them it was me. My brother them yells out "how did you get that stink out of your hole?".0 -
bumping for later 0 -
I worked in the front office at a pediatrics office where I was talking to a coworker and one just slipped out loudly. I looked out to the lobby to see a dad laughing .....not good!
Or the time when my now husband and I had just been dating for a month and we were driving to LAX to catch a flight to Texas. I had never flown before and was really nervous so my intestines were rattling pretty good. He said he smelled a skunk, but it was me!! It has been a big ole fart fest since then trying to one up the other.0 -
During high school testing, whole class was silent. I finished the test early and fell asleep. Farted in my sleep which woke myself up. I jumped and looked all around the room. I think it's obvious who it was.0
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I will never outgrow my amusement from farts... but other peoples! They are hysterical and I crack up even just thinking about them. My kids know the easiest way to make me laugh, no matter what, is to let one.
My most embarrassing fart happened due to the ingestion of a Fiber One bar while I was traveling for business. I was not aware at the time of the common side effect of eating these bars, which have been documented on the internet (wildly funny by the way! http://www.pleasegodno.com/archives/66-Fiber-One-Bars-make-me-Fart.html). I was in my hotel room laying face down on the bed watching some TV. I felt as though I was going to pass some dainty, noiseless ladylike wind, but instead it blasted out with such force and reverberation that I was honestly shocked and amazed. I immediately disintegrated into gales of laughter and between my laughs I heard shrieks of laughter from the hallway. That's when I realized how truly loud it actually was. And this was not a one shot deal, this epic farting went on for quite some time. The whole rest of my stay I always made sure the coast was clear before I exited or entered my room and NEVER touched a Fiber One bar again.
This thread is a blast! I have been laughing so hard at all the stories that I nearly peed myself... but that's another thread. :laugh:0 -
I LOVE fart stories...I've only read the first page and I'm already crying :laugh:0
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Overreact much?Interesting question....As a 7th grade teacher for many years I have been known to let a silent deadly one go next to my "favorite" student while quietly walking around the class checking work....I know....I'm sick!!!!:)
I'm gonna ask my kid if his teacher has ever smelled like a fart. If he says yes, I'm gonna have her stank azz fired. I'm so sick of how teachers think it's okay to harsh on kids. It's so irresponsible and unprofessional.
Luckily I have the kind of kid who if the teacher did that in front of him, he's cry foul and yell "Ew, Mrs. insert-your-name-here, you farted!" And he has the kind of mom who while in the principal's office would back him up.
[hope this lady doesn't teach at my kid's school, it's hard enough to leave them there with everything that goes on nowadays, plus having to read their nasty attitudes on Facebook and now MFP is really just too much.]
My thoughts exactly!0 -
During high school testing, whole class was silent. I finished the test early and fell asleep. Farted in my sleep which woke myself up. I jumped and looked all around the room. I think it's obvious who it was.
OMG you poor thing!0 -
during my wedding
Oh DO tell!0 -
The first one was not loud, but made me proud. Was grocery shopping with my ex wife, and I dropped a silent bomb, I knew it was gonna smell like death because I switched my protein and we all know what that smells like. So I told her I was going to the aisle over to get some cereal. She was the only person in that aisle. Then a family of four comes strolling down and walks right into the invisible force field of my *kitten*. She was standing there red faced and embarassed! Hmmmm,..... I wonder why I am divorced
Second happened this past Saturday. I went for a massage, and this very attractive lady was massaging my back. She kept pulling down towards my lower back, and I kept thinking I was gonna rip one, but then it dissipated. She then started at my shoulders, and worked her way down almost to the crack of my *kitten* with some force, and out came POP POP POP!!! I think my entire body went bright red!!! She giggled and asked if I was ok! D'OH!!0 -
Laughing so hard right now...
Mine wasn't audible but my husband and I were up camping with the in-laws when I let a silent one go... it was so bad my father in law teared up and kept asking if anyone else smelled the rotting animal carcass...0
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