Stop the Fat Bashing!

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  • janeilm89
    janeilm89 Posts: 16
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    Who gives a *kitten* what those people may or may not think? We're all guilty of having judgmental thoughts in our heads at times, we'd be huge hypocrites to get pissy at people who we think are thinking negative things about us. You do you, girl. Don't worry about anyone else.

    Also, as far as the real women comment goes, I believe anybody with lady parts qualifies as a real woman lol!
  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
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    Time for a rant so if you don't want to see complaining- don't read it! :)

    I'm so sick of the looks I get because I'm trying to be healthier. At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say. We've grown up to accept that and to expect. What I absolutely hate is the people who stare at me (and others) who are trying to do better for themselves like they're worthless too. Either way I'm screwed! If I'm fat and getting fatter I'm criticized. If I'm fat and trying to get healthy I'm a poser.

    Every Tuesday and Thursday I wear fitted workout pants/capris and a t-shirt to class because I go to the gym before I go to campus. I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care. I'm wearing these clothes because I've already been to the gym burning a ton of calories before most of these people have even woken up. Get over it! I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"

    Either way I'm rocking these pants and making my body healthy so think what you want. :)

    /rant

    Sometimes we project our insecurities and the poor self image onto others and imagine what they are thinking. While I'm sure some people are thinking things like what you have written, be sure not to lump everyone in that category. Some people are just thinking "man, I could really go for a burger right now.".
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Looking =/= Bashing.

    Just be glad you can't see my eyes right now.:wink::laugh:
  • mis792
    mis792 Posts: 5
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    Just remember, when you lose the weight, you'll have the last laugh.
    I honestly think headgames are abound. People don't say "KEEP EATING FAT FOOD FATTY"

    Bashing of every form will always happen, rant away, no one will listen.
    I just read this so your point is moot, I guess I didn't hear it so maybe I didn't listen.
  • YAYJules
    YAYJules Posts: 282 Member
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    Bashing of every form will always happen, rant away, no one will listen.

    Love that defeatist attitude!!! WOOO!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I'm not obese or even moderately overweight, but I, too, got looks and attitude from others. But, I finally figured out why -- it's the expression on my face at the time that drives people away. I'm a very nice, sweet woman in general, but when I'm in the middle of something and really have to focus on it, my eyes narrow and my eyebrows furrow. I look mad at the world and my aura is one of "DO NOT APPROACH ME". It is totally unrelated to how I feel at the moment -- I just require a lot of mental effort to focus on things, since I have untreated ADD.

    Once I realized that my facial expressions were scaring people or keeping them at a distance, I softened my look. People swarmed in after that.

    Maybe what you are seeing is really a mirror of what you're presenting to the world. Maybe at a subconscious level, you are giving off an aura of "STAY AWAY FROM ME I AM OBESE AND DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOOKED AT".

    It's just something to consider.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    Yep. I do. Sad, isn't it?
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    WOW...you're putting a whole lot of (judgemental) thoughts into other people's mouths/heads here about what you're doing, eating or wearing. Focus on yourself and your own efforts...and unless someone is SAYING these ****ty things to you...maybe you should consider that some of them might also be thinking "Hey...good for her...she's working out now", or "hey..she's eating a salad...good choice". Maybe these judgements you believe they're thinking are actually YOUR own insecurities.

    Its likely they aren't putting that much effort into judging you, but if they are...then just keep going and prove them wrong.

    <----from another REAL WOMAN...whatever the F that means (I assume I qualify since all my girl parts are authentic)
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    Yep. I do. Sad, isn't it?

    it is *le sigh*
  • jayliospecky
    jayliospecky Posts: 25,022 Member
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    I have no issue with you complaining or ranting, but everything in your post was literally about the "stares" you get from other people. It's possible insecurities leach out and attach themselves to the eyes of other people. Someone might be looking at you without even seeing you because they're zoned out. Someone might look at your food because they're hungry too.

    Is it possible that people are intentionally giving you disdainful looks? Yes, it is... but your entire rant is about all these different scenarios of what *you* think people are thinking. That's a dangerous game, to make assumptions like that.

    Hell, someone else might come in and say, "Stop the fat bashing! Don't avert your eyes from me just because of my weight!"

    Perception can be a real b.

    ^This

    Agreed.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
    - Epictetus
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    It's dripping off the walls.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    How people respond to us is largely dependant on what we put out there.

    Now, at my heaviest, I DID have people who said nasty, cruel things right to my face but that was pretty rare. In all honesty I am a happy, bubbly person and people responded well to me (and still do).

    The only difference between how I'm treated NOW and how I was treated THEN is that guys are more likely to blatantly flirt and less likely to treat me as 'just a friend'. *shrug* I guess I'm more attractive when I'm thinner?

    I'm not saying your experiences didn't happen. Maybe those people WERE judging you, maybe they weren't... but I am saying to worry less about that and just focus on you and how you present YOURSELF. What you put out will affect what you get back from the world. :)
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say.

    I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care.

    I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"

    Projection. YOU think these things and then assign them to random people you think are looking at you. But these are your thoughts, not theirs. These are your beliefs, not theirs.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say.

    I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care.

    I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"

    Projection. YOU think these things and then assign them to random people you think are looking at you. But these are your thoughts, not theirs. These are your beliefs, not theirs.

    You sir, have just won the Internet.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    it annoys me to no end

    you say people are judgemental of a heavier person yet i see the "heavier" girl posting pictures on facebook like thus
    demotivational-posters-curves.jpg

    or

    yeah.jpg

    you may as well accept it, everyone is judgemental to some degree, some guys only like brunettes and some girls only like guys with only a moderate amount of back hair.

    it is no more fair for you to judge people who look in your general vicinity as it is for them to judge you
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    How people respond to us is largely dependant on what we put out there.

    Now, at my heaviest, I DID have people who said nasty, cruel things right to my face but that was pretty rare. In all honesty I am a happy, bubbly person and people responded well to me (and still do).

    The only difference between how I'm treated NOW and how I was treated THEN is that guys are more likely to blatantly flirt and less likely to treat me as 'just a friend'. *shrug* I guess I'm more attractive when I'm thinner?

    I'm not saying your experiences didn't happen. Maybe those people WERE judging you, maybe they weren't... but I am saying to worry less about that and just focus on you and how you present YOURSELF. What you put out will affect what you get back from the world. :)
    This is such a great post. I am a big believer in "you get what you give"
  • momofJandA
    momofJandA Posts: 1,038 Member
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    Some people are lucky; they were blessed with a high metabolism and don't have to put any effort into staying in shape. However, that doesn't mean that they're healthy. You can be overweight and still be healthy. Don't let anyone get you down! Those who criticize never have to try and can't understand the psychological effects that just a mere glance can have on another person. Be proud of who you are and work hard for who you want to be! Don't let anyone stand in your way! :)

    so if someone is in shape they automatically have "a high metabolism and don't have to put any effort into staying in shape"? :noway: Or . . . they work their a** off each and every day to attain and maintain THAT shape . . . just like we shouldn't bash someone for being fat- you shouldn't bash someone for being in shape- who the H*LL are you to decide who puts in an effort and who doesn't . . .

    To OP- stop spending so much time worrying about what are are thinking . . . you are doing something to better yourself FOR YOURSELF . . . in all honesty
    these other people are probably oblivious to your existence anyway and you are just projecting your own insecurties on to them
  • LydsVille77
    LydsVille77 Posts: 126 Member
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    Why would you want to wear what you wore to the gym (sweaty clothes) to school all day afterwards?

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