Stop the Fat Bashing!
Replies
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anyone else see the irony in here?
It's dripping off the walls.
thats not irony, i thought i was alone in here....0 -
Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.0
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Could the people be giving you looks because you head into class wearing sweaty workout clothes?0
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anyone else see the irony in here?
it annoys me to no end
you say people are judgemental of a heavier person yet i see the "heavier" girl posting pictures on facebook like thus
or
you may as well accept it, everyone is judgemental to some degree, some guys only like brunettes and some girls only like guys with only a moderate amount of back hair.
it is no more fair for you to judge people who look in your general vicinity as it is for them to judge you
those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.0 -
those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.
i completely agree. but people have issues with that. i once asked a gal out but she gave me rules
1) had to have a nice car - check
2) wanted to go to a nice dinner - check
3) had to make a certain amount of money yearly - check
4) would only sleep with me if i could give her a solid 9
thats where i drew the line. i have yet to find a woman who is worth cutting 2.5 inches off0 -
Has anyone actually said the things you're thinking out loud to you? If not, then YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS ENGAGING IN FAT BASHING.
Maybe you should change the way you think about yourself instead of projecting your thoughts and beliefs onto other people.
Eat what you want. Wear what you want. Work out when you want. It's about you -- not about other people.
I would seriously and respectfully suggest you see a counselor who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (changing the way you think about life) and disordered eating. It made a huge difference in my life.0 -
I always feel "Good for him/her!" when I see a heavy person at the gym. I used to be 40 lbs heavier and always felt horribly self-conscious at the gym but the only comment I ever got was someone (a total stranger) saying recently to me, "Wow, you're really looking great--you've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" So, yeah, maybe people are noticing, but not necessarily negatively. I don't think most people are judging you--and those that are, well they're just jerks, anyway, so why would you care what they think? You go, girl!0
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I have no issue with you complaining or ranting, but everything in your post was literally about the "stares" you get from other people. It's possible insecurities leach out and attach themselves to the eyes of other people. Someone might be looking at you without even seeing you because they're zoned out. Someone might look at your food because they're hungry too.
Is it possible that people are intentionally giving you disdainful looks? Yes, it is... but your entire rant is about all these different scenarios of what *you* think people are thinking. That's a dangerous game, to make assumptions like that.
Hell, someone else might come in and say, "Stop the fat bashing! Don't avert your eyes from me just because of my weight!"
Perception can be a real b.
^^ You're SO right on this, IMO!0 -
Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.
Trust me. I know the looks. Even at a point where I weigh less than I have in my adult life, I STILL walk into a restaurant and think "Everyone must be thinking 'what's fatty doing at a restaurant. Fatty should be eating a salad in a dark corner of his fat cave' " ... or I'll order something less than healthy and just "know" the waitress is thinking "christ, like he needs THAT". I still get sheepish and feel like I need to explain to people (who I have learned just don't give a good gosh darn) .. "I'm having a cookie, but that's ok because because I did an extra 5 on the treadmill today".
Overwhelmingly though, I've learned that what I'm eating or doing is just not that important to anyone else.
Does this mean there's no judgemental people? Do I think this never happens? Of course not. There's tons of jerks out there too. But the nice thing about them is that they don't matter.
I was at a buffet one time. I really liked a dish they had. Talking to the wife, she tells me if you like it that much, go back up. I said "I can't. everyone will be looking at the fat guy going back for more."
She just sighed and said "every day I wake up and pray that today will be the day you don't say something stupid."0 -
Oh, I thought we were here to chew the fat0
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sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!
-from a felllow REAL women.. haha
mayhaps I'm fake?
IF being real means overweight, then I want to be fake.
and I agree with the others... it's all about perception... I have never once thought that people were looking at me in disgust over my weight or what I eat... but then I also don't care.0 -
Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.
Yes, there are always going to be people that judge others. Some people judge because their lives are sad and empty and they need to do things to entertain themselves and try and fill up the empty space, or they are just miserable and so they focus on misery. Sure, that can happen. But, why worry yourself with that. Why not enjoy your life so much, you wouldn't even notice someone like that or care. This goes for every area of life. Parenting for example. No matter what you do, there will be someone making a judgement. Maybe they have failed in life, so they need to judge others, so they don't feel alone. So, I do what I want and don't bother to care if some silly person is going to be nosy or annoying or gossipy or whatever.
However, what you are describing is entire, descriptive stories about how other people are perceiving you, all based on a look. It is simply not possible for you to know what they are thinking. It sounds like you are projecting your own feelings onto them. Maybe they aren't even seeing you, but they are thinking about something and their eyes glance at you. Maybe they think your food looks yummy, or maybe they think it doesn't look tasty to them. Or maybe they are trying to decide what to eat. Whatever, they could be thinking anything. Maybe they are sad and grumpy, and they are thinking about that and looking in your direction, but not thinking anything about you.
But, all that aside, I am sorry if anyone says rude things to you about your weight. Don't let them get in the way of living YOUR life and getting fit and healthy for YOU. Everyone has various challenges and insecurities that can change over time.0 -
Why is it whenever a woman is talking about being a real woman she's fat? Sounds more like an excuse to me.
I'm not going to go put on an extra hundred pounds and be like now I'm a real man.0 -
those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.
i completely agree. but people have issues with that. i once asked a gal out but she gave me rules
1) had to have a nice car - check
2) wanted to go to a nice dinner - check
3) had to make a certain amount of money yearly - check
4) would only sleep with me if i could give her a solid 9
thats where i drew the line. i have yet to find a woman who is worth cutting 2.5 inches off
BWAHAHAHA!!! BOOM!
(I think I love you...)0 -
Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.
Ok let's go with that everybody is thinking those things in your OP. and?
I am not going to go as far as saying I don't care what anybody thinks because I care about what people who I care about think. People I don't know or care about? Why does their opinion even matter?0 -
Bashing of every form will always happen, rant away, no one will listen.
QFT0 -
Please explain the "Real woman" comment. I'm interested.sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!
-from a felllow REAL women.. haha
...yes do tell...0 -
Remember... bashing and judgment says a lot more about the person doing the bashing/judging that it could ever say about you.0
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anyone else see the irony in here?
It's dripping off the walls.
thats not irony, i thought i was alone in here....
Dag-nab-it. Keep it in the, "It's raining men" thread!0 -
Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.
Okay. But you made a post that basically called everyone who happens to look at you, a judgmental fat-shaming individual. I've been called names. I've heard others say things about me that weren't so nice when they thought I wasn't listening. And I know how it is to be so insecure you wonder if people are shaming/judging you when they happen to look your way for more than a few seconds.
But in the end, you have to let it go. You have to realize not everything is about you and the truth is, these people probably don't care a lick about you because they don't know you. And the ones that know you talking crap, well..that's up to you to keep them around or to at least say something. Either way, holding on to the hurt that you allow them to dish out to you (or the negativity that you imagine they are sending your way) is just a way to keep yourself down and being a victim. Just move on and let it go. Live your life and stop trying to find ways to feel insulted and entitled.
Or as some would say..."Just break up" (and by that, I mean with your insecurities and doubts and self-degradation)0 -
I'm a paranoid person. Like, literally. Diagnosed. I am forever having days where I have trouble because of what "other people must be thinking when they look at me." It can screw with my whole day and - honestly - is a huge part of why I'm such a hermit.
But even when it gets bad and I HAVE to be out there, I breath and tell myself "I'm not a mind-reader, I don't know what anyone else is thinking." It's in my head - and even if it isn't - it's STILL in my head because those people haven't actually shared those thoughts with me.
I do a lot of "I have no right to assume what other people are thinking" - because that's THEIR'S. No one has the right to assume what I'm thinking. So same goes for them. All this is easier said than done. Case in point, I've left the house maybe three times in a week??? If that? Still, I hope sharing the coping skills I use helps. I get how our own fear of what other people might be thinking can mess us up.0 -
Really is sad that you assume that everyone that looks at you is instantly thinking something negative.
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At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say.
I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care.
I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"
Projection. YOU think these things and then assign them to random people you think are looking at you. But these are your thoughts, not theirs. These are your beliefs, not theirs.
You sir, have just won the Internet.
Is no one else reading all the comments just Jnichel?!! Hilarious! I like it when someone can break up the tension with a smart *kitten* remark 0 -
At 245 lbs, if I were eating a hamburger and fries I'd get looks from people because I shouldn't be eating like that in my condition. "Try a salad fatty!" is what their eyes say.
I get looks each and everyday like I shouldn't be wearing fitted clothes and at this point I really don't care.
I fill up my plate with tons of veggies and lean proteins at school and people look at it like me like "Why are you even trying that? You know you want that greasy pizza!"
Projection. YOU think these things and then assign them to random people you think are looking at you. But these are your thoughts, not theirs. These are your beliefs, not theirs.
You sir, have just won the Internet.
Is no one else reading all the comments just Jnichel?!! Hilarious! I like it when someone can break up the tension with a smart *kitten* remark
I come to the Internet to get away from tension and seriousness.0 -
Hold strong and ignore the idiots. What you wear or eat is NO ONES business! You know you ar working on getting healthier. Do not worry about what others are saying or thinking. Some of the skinnest people I know are among the least healthy. The eat junk food, smoke and drink in excess. The only way to deal with those looks is to smile your sweetest smile and kill them with kindness. There are some cruel people out there but there is no reason for you to sink to their slimmy level. You are beautiful as you are. Maybe you should get a shirt made that says "I am wearing this because I just came from the gym".0
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I can relate to the last thing you said about the food. When I eat a salad (I usually have a mixed green salad from the salad bar with a couple of teaspoons of a chickpea and kidney bean salad with no dressing and boiled egg halves which I take the yolks out of) I get such filthy looks and I've actually had people talking about me behind my back saying horrible things about my healthy eating (WTF?!). However, if I know I won't have a chance to eat again until much later, I do eat a bigger lunch and I get a packet of baked crisps and a cereal bar too and when I eat these things, although they're not UNHEALTHY, just less healthy than I usually am, I still get bad looks and someone once told me that I ate too much and was a 'pig'.
I think that it's just easy for others to judge people on what they're eating.0 -
anyone else see the irony in here?
It's dripping off the walls.
thats not irony, i thought i was alone in here....
Dag-nab-it. Keep it in the, "It's raining men" thread!
potential men0 -
sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!
-from a felllow REAL women.. haha
what does "REAL woman" mean?
Because i'm not overweight i'm less of a woman?0 -
sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!
-from a felllow REAL women.. haha
Please define a REAL woman, I'm curious0 -
My life got a whole lot easier when I decided to stop giving a funk about what strangers may or may not be thinking about me.0
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