Stop the Fat Bashing!

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  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    It's dripping off the walls.

    thats not irony, i thought i was alone in here....
  • Ashleymeganlove
    Ashleymeganlove Posts: 36
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    Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    Could the people be giving you looks because you head into class wearing sweaty workout clothes?
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    it annoys me to no end

    you say people are judgemental of a heavier person yet i see the "heavier" girl posting pictures on facebook like thus
    demotivational-posters-curves.jpg

    or

    yeah.jpg

    you may as well accept it, everyone is judgemental to some degree, some guys only like brunettes and some girls only like guys with only a moderate amount of back hair.

    it is no more fair for you to judge people who look in your general vicinity as it is for them to judge you

    those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.

    i completely agree. but people have issues with that. i once asked a gal out but she gave me rules

    1) had to have a nice car - check
    2) wanted to go to a nice dinner - check
    3) had to make a certain amount of money yearly - check
    4) would only sleep with me if i could give her a solid 9

    thats where i drew the line. i have yet to find a woman who is worth cutting 2.5 inches off
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Has anyone actually said the things you're thinking out loud to you? If not, then YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS ENGAGING IN FAT BASHING.

    Maybe you should change the way you think about yourself instead of projecting your thoughts and beliefs onto other people.

    Eat what you want. Wear what you want. Work out when you want. It's about you -- not about other people.

    I would seriously and respectfully suggest you see a counselor who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (changing the way you think about life) and disordered eating. It made a huge difference in my life.
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
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    I always feel "Good for him/her!" when I see a heavy person at the gym. I used to be 40 lbs heavier and always felt horribly self-conscious at the gym but the only comment I ever got was someone (a total stranger) saying recently to me, "Wow, you're really looking great--you've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" So, yeah, maybe people are noticing, but not necessarily negatively. I don't think most people are judging you--and those that are, well they're just jerks, anyway, so why would you care what they think? You go, girl!
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
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    I have no issue with you complaining or ranting, but everything in your post was literally about the "stares" you get from other people. It's possible insecurities leach out and attach themselves to the eyes of other people. Someone might be looking at you without even seeing you because they're zoned out. Someone might look at your food because they're hungry too.

    Is it possible that people are intentionally giving you disdainful looks? Yes, it is... but your entire rant is about all these different scenarios of what *you* think people are thinking. That's a dangerous game, to make assumptions like that.

    Hell, someone else might come in and say, "Stop the fat bashing! Don't avert your eyes from me just because of my weight!"

    Perception can be a real b.

    ^^ You're SO right on this, IMO!
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.

    Trust me. I know the looks. Even at a point where I weigh less than I have in my adult life, I STILL walk into a restaurant and think "Everyone must be thinking 'what's fatty doing at a restaurant. Fatty should be eating a salad in a dark corner of his fat cave' " ... or I'll order something less than healthy and just "know" the waitress is thinking "christ, like he needs THAT". I still get sheepish and feel like I need to explain to people (who I have learned just don't give a good gosh darn) .. "I'm having a cookie, but that's ok because because I did an extra 5 on the treadmill today".

    Overwhelmingly though, I've learned that what I'm eating or doing is just not that important to anyone else.

    Does this mean there's no judgemental people? Do I think this never happens? Of course not. There's tons of jerks out there too. But the nice thing about them is that they don't matter.

    I was at a buffet one time. I really liked a dish they had. Talking to the wife, she tells me if you like it that much, go back up. I said "I can't. everyone will be looking at the fat guy going back for more."

    She just sighed and said "every day I wake up and pray that today will be the day you don't say something stupid."
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    Oh, I thought we were here to chew the fat
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

    -from a felllow REAL women.. haha :)

    mayhaps I'm fake?

    IF being real means overweight, then I want to be fake.

    and I agree with the others... it's all about perception... I have never once thought that people were looking at me in disgust over my weight or what I eat... but then I also don't care.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.

    Yes, there are always going to be people that judge others. Some people judge because their lives are sad and empty and they need to do things to entertain themselves and try and fill up the empty space, or they are just miserable and so they focus on misery. Sure, that can happen. But, why worry yourself with that. Why not enjoy your life so much, you wouldn't even notice someone like that or care. This goes for every area of life. Parenting for example. No matter what you do, there will be someone making a judgement. Maybe they have failed in life, so they need to judge others, so they don't feel alone. So, I do what I want and don't bother to care if some silly person is going to be nosy or annoying or gossipy or whatever.

    However, what you are describing is entire, descriptive stories about how other people are perceiving you, all based on a look. It is simply not possible for you to know what they are thinking. It sounds like you are projecting your own feelings onto them. Maybe they aren't even seeing you, but they are thinking about something and their eyes glance at you. Maybe they think your food looks yummy, or maybe they think it doesn't look tasty to them. Or maybe they are trying to decide what to eat. Whatever, they could be thinking anything. Maybe they are sad and grumpy, and they are thinking about that and looking in your direction, but not thinking anything about you.

    But, all that aside, I am sorry if anyone says rude things to you about your weight. Don't let them get in the way of living YOUR life and getting fit and healthy for YOU. Everyone has various challenges and insecurities that can change over time.
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
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    Why is it whenever a woman is talking about being a real woman she's fat? Sounds more like an excuse to me.

    I'm not going to go put on an extra hundred pounds and be like now I'm a real man.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    those pictures repulse me. We all like what we like. To each his/her own.

    i completely agree. but people have issues with that. i once asked a gal out but she gave me rules

    1) had to have a nice car - check
    2) wanted to go to a nice dinner - check
    3) had to make a certain amount of money yearly - check
    4) would only sleep with me if i could give her a solid 9

    thats where i drew the line. i have yet to find a woman who is worth cutting 2.5 inches off

    BWAHAHAHA!!! BOOM!

    (I think I love you...)
  • For_the_Last_Time
    For_the_Last_Time Posts: 136 Member
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    Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.

    Ok let's go with that everybody is thinking those things in your OP. and?

    I am not going to go as far as saying I don't care what anybody thinks because I care about what people who I care about think. People I don't know or care about? Why does their opinion even matter?
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    Bashing of every form will always happen, rant away, no one will listen.

    QFT
  • norcal_yogi
    norcal_yogi Posts: 675 Member
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    sounds like you didnt need to rant.. You already got it figured out! You go girl!

    -from a felllow REAL women.. haha :)
    Please explain the "Real woman" comment. I'm interested.

    ...yes do tell...
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
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    Remember... bashing and judgment says a lot more about the person doing the bashing/judging that it could ever say about you.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    anyone else see the irony in here?

    It's dripping off the walls.

    thats not irony, i thought i was alone in here....

    Dag-nab-it. Keep it in the, "It's raining men" thread!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Yes in my situation I'm interpreting looks which I will fully acknowledge could all be in my head. But there have been plenty of instances where I've overheard people saying these things about myself or others. I'm well aware of "skinny shaming" or whatever you want to call it too. I just find it ****ty that either way people can't win or lose- people are always going to judge. To those with negative comments- think what you want. I was simply talking about something I've observed.

    Okay. But you made a post that basically called everyone who happens to look at you, a judgmental fat-shaming individual. I've been called names. I've heard others say things about me that weren't so nice when they thought I wasn't listening. And I know how it is to be so insecure you wonder if people are shaming/judging you when they happen to look your way for more than a few seconds.

    But in the end, you have to let it go. You have to realize not everything is about you and the truth is, these people probably don't care a lick about you because they don't know you. And the ones that know you talking crap, well..that's up to you to keep them around or to at least say something. Either way, holding on to the hurt that you allow them to dish out to you (or the negativity that you imagine they are sending your way) is just a way to keep yourself down and being a victim. Just move on and let it go. Live your life and stop trying to find ways to feel insulted and entitled.

    Or as some would say..."Just break up" (and by that, I mean with your insecurities and doubts and self-degradation)

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