Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

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  • nzashley
    nzashley Posts: 2
    I was trying on gym clothes at Sports Authorty (dressing rooms are very open to the whole store) with my 2 year old son (Whom we had taught all the anotomically correct body parts for HIS body) and as I was putting on some pants he yelled at the top of his lungs- "WAIT!! MOM!! I want to see your penis!" I heard a few people literally choke! I said very loudly, "Buddy, MOM'S DON'T HAVE PENISES!!!" I put my clothes back on and walked my son and my self right out of that store WITHOUT making eye contact with ANYONE!
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
    Alright so back at school today. Not entirely funny but was weird just hearing it randomly in the mix of all the other conversations going on in my class as they are working on their projects.

    "What did I do this weekend you ask?! WHAT DID I DO!! I was so amazing this weekend that I probably could have dropped kicked a full grown horse!!"

    I really wanted to ask for the rest of that conversation.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    The day we brought our new cat home from the shelter, my daughter (3 years old) was sitting on the bed watching him. When I walked into the room she said "Mommy, the cat told me in my head that he wants to poop on the floor, so I told him in his head that he's not allowed to." Maybe I have a Dr. Dolittle on my hands...
  • prwhicks
    prwhicks Posts: 32 Member
    My son (5) said, "I don't have nightmares. I have Halloween dreams."
  • ArmandoG28
    ArmandoG28 Posts: 283 Member
    my son asked me if he was the antichrist :drinker:
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    my daughter also thinks the little piece on the bottom of the banana is banana poop.
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
    my son asked me if he was the antichrist :drinker:

    And whyyy did he think this?
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
    my daughter also thinks the little piece on the bottom of the banana is banana poop.

    HAHAHAH!! I have heard this before from other kids.
  • KainStar
    KainStar Posts: 197
    Very disturbing but I was at a public pool in my late teens and my friends and I went into the locker room to get our things and this lady was showering naked with the curtain open not caring at all(kudos to her) then i heard a little girl (maybe 6-7) ask her mom "what's wrong with her cookie mommy?, Why does it hang so low?" And pointed to the lady in the showers private area. I couldn't help but laugh, I had to leave because I'm sure the lady felt embarrassed enough with everyone else there.
  • Macgeek74
    Macgeek74 Posts: 298 Member
    Mommy is winning in a game of yahtzee in the bedroom with some guy.
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
    I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

    So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

    Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

    Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

    "I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

    (don't worry, we're already divorced ) ;))
    I shouldn't drink when reading your stories I have discovered..because now I have to clean my monitor...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • vhines5
    vhines5 Posts: 63 Member
    Thanks for all the laughs!!!

    My 18 y/o son and I are standing in line at the DMV. He's registering his car and I'm renewing my drivers license. He's holding the paperwork.

    son: you're an organ donor?

    me: yes

    son: what organ did you donate?

    me: *blank stare* i haven't donated one yet. it's so that if you get killed in an accident, they can take your organs and give them to someone else.

    son: that's a good idea

    smh...
  • Game8
    Game8 Posts: 442
    Not something I've heard, but seen. It's a weird story, but here's what happened:

    I always take my bus everyday at the same time and there's this blonde kid (maybe grade 7 or 8) who always takes the same bus too. And no matter where I sit on the bus, he always finds the seat beside me and sits there. Even if the whole bus is empty, he always picks that seat.. After the bus takes off, he starts touching my arm/ leg with his :indifferent: Not just in a casual kind of way, but REALLY touching. Like his whole thigh presses against me. He also wears these huge headphones so I can't talk to him.
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    I have 3 kids and my 16yr dd is the queen of assuming a word means something it doesn't. They were studying Greek History and there was a woman my daughter stood up to describe and she described her as a dominatrix (meaning a strong woman) the teacher couldn't stop laughing and said "well lets hope not" and suggested she ask her mom what it means. She came home and in front of my mother in law said " mom, whats a dominatrix?". I choked on my water and then had to explain it to my daughter AND mother in law..Awkward.

    Then the same daughter heard my son 13 complaining about his braces and she asked him if he needed to see the gynecologist. LMAO. My son looked at me and said "mom I am uncomfortable" . bahahaha. I corrected her
  • Vain_Witch
    Vain_Witch Posts: 476 Member
    My 6 year old:

    "Mommy, I REALLY want a sister! But if you ever have another baby and it's a boy, you should just send it down the river..."

    :noway: :huh:
  • szaychek
    szaychek Posts: 2 Member
    I asked my (5 y/o at the time) son what he was watching on TV (I was in the kitchen making dinner). He yells from the other room, "I'm watching the pink *****"........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I about fainted and then about broke my neck getting to the living room in a mad dash!

    He was watching Pink Panther (THANK HEAVENS!!!)

    :)
  • jw17695
    jw17695 Posts: 438 Member
    lol. One of the kids in my class (3 years old) informed me that "the doctor stuck a q-tip up mommy's butt."
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Worked at a daycare, and a 2.5 y-o little boy told me "I have a knife hidden under my bed!" :noway: Told a coworker who babysits for him and she checked. No knife. *whew*
  • csman49
    csman49 Posts: 1,100 Member
    "Thats the man, officer"
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    lol. One of the kids in my class (3 years old) informed me that "the doctor stuck a q-tip up mommy's butt."

    It was probably a pap smear, but why you'd bring a 3 y-o in with you for that, idk... *smh*
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
    Right before Christmas I walked by a Mom and her son and overheard her say "No honey, reindeers don't eat people". I laughed my butt off.

    I think that was me.....lol
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    a few months back when my hubby brought home freeway flowers, just because, my kid told him "Daddy, cool, now you can go on The Bachelor!"
  • LondonEliza
    LondonEliza Posts: 456 Member
    I get that all the time

    "Miss what do i have to do to get suspended? What would it take for you to send me to ISS?"

    Tell they that they have to behave well, be polite, do their homework and excel in exams ... for a whole term. Explain that this deviation from their usual behavior will so psyche out the school, their peers and their parents that they will be suspended for a month while the issue is investigated.

    (Well, it's worth a shot :)
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
    My daughter likes to tell me that she know's exactly where she is, so I ask her where and she says Canada.... so I ask her where in Canada and she looks at me like I am crazy and says it again, Canada.

    I laught and tell her the province, then the city, then the area of the city and then the street name and tell her that Canada is very big so she has to be more specific.
  • bettyboop416
    bettyboop416 Posts: 18
    In high school I was the one who kept the Quote Book... I logged all sorts of things my peers would say. Later when they read them they would laugh and have to be told of the circumstances where they said certain things. A few of my favorites were

    "Do you know who I am Mrs. Porter?! Ronald McDonald is my real father!" - the redhead kid whos family owns the local McDonalds
    "I swear to God... if you don't back off I'm shoving my big toe in your nostril!"
    "But do you like peanut butter more than you like penis?" - sweetest girl in the class
    "I can't believe I'm pregnant again.. but I guess the first thing to do is figure out if it's mine..." - freshman moron that made me want to scream
    "I am NOT an alcoholic! I am Skoltar... intergalactic HERO!' -.... I think that may have been me.
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
    My oldest daughter came in the room one day and said in a very business like tone "Mom, could you please tell your other daughter that tampons do not go up your butt?, she doesn't beleive me."
  • artex1024
    artex1024 Posts: 119 Member
    My daughter says some weird stuff. She's 4. The other day, I was relaxing in the tub and she came running into the bathroom, tore off a piece of toilet paper, dropped it in the toilet and closed the lid. Then she left. She came back a second later and did it again. I asked her to quit wasting toilet paper and she told me, "I'm sending a message to the toilet fairy!" When asked what kind of fairy lives in a toilet, she looked at me like I was stupid and said "a PEE fairy..."

    Also, my friend's daughter had a crush on this boy in her kindergarten class, and she gushed to her mom one day about how "Gio is soooo cute. He has the BEST tan!" When Sara finally got a chance to meet Gio-of-the-glorious-tan, it turned out that he was black. I laughed so hard! She was right though. He was soooo cute. :P
  • LuckyMiss3
    LuckyMiss3 Posts: 125
    Wee 2 year old in my practice the other day in the waiting room waiting for her gran. I had the radio on.........she starts dancing.......I said "ur a great wee dancer" her response in her 2 year old voice "yeh I like Ike and Tina the best" she then showed me the rolling on the river moves to proud Mary.........I'm not a fan of kids but my womb flip flopped that day. So cute.
  • rockieschick
    rockieschick Posts: 321 Member
    One of the girl I have in my dayhome told me ''Melissa, you are as white as Eminem'' I was like WHAT?!? And she proceeds to rap a song....This is coming from a 4 years old....yikes, I didn't know Kids were listening to that kind of music....
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 367 Member
    <---- This little one once said that she didn't like Romney because he had binders full of women.

    ME: Honey, what's a binder.

    <
    I don't know.

    ME: Ok.

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