Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

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  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
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    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
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    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    Remember my money hookah!!
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
    I might need a little disciplining
  • Paijj
    Paijj Posts: 11
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    When my step daughter was about 3, whenever she was being ornery in that cute way only 3 year olds can, I would always say to her "don't make me abuse you!" It would make her giggle.
    One day we were in Walmart and she was crawling on an empty shelf when I looked at her and said "Anna, you need to stop please", to which she replied in a very loud, very serious voice " Oh Bridgie, PLEASE don't abuse me!!!
    Every head in that dang store turned and looked at me...needless to say I never said that to her again!
  • mattagascar
    mattagascar Posts: 708 Member
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    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
    I might need a little disciplining

    ykNJgXC.jpg
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    That's not daddy
    Wanna be my daddy?

    I'll be your father figure...anything you have in mind
    I might need a little disciplining

    ykNJgXC.jpg
    tumblr_m6liuli6rm1rxbw9bo1_500_zps95eec3f8.gif
  • dloyst20
    dloyst20 Posts: 98
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    O where do I start...
    My kid was fooling around being silly and my mother asked her "where did you come from??" as if to say, we didn't know who she was because she was acting so silly.. and my daughter replied..."um, I don't know...I was an accident." Let me be clear...She was not an accident and would have never heard anyone say that about her!!! I was mortified...my mother on the other hand thought it was hilarious.
    I went to parent teacher meeting...her teacher says "so I hear congratulations is in order!"....I gave her a funny look, and she replied "O, perhaps not. Your daughter told me a very elaborate story about how you were married on the weekend, and that she was a flower girl."
    Movie store: Lady asked my kid if she had a brother or sister, she replied "no, they died." It wasn't funny at the time, and the lady across the counter looked horrified and apologized for our "loss"... she doesn't have any siblings, at all, never did, and my kid apparently has a very creative imagination.lol.
    My boyfriend had just come out of the shower and came into our room to change...closed the door behind him. Then there came the knock...my daughter says.."can I come in", I said no because we were changing and would be out in a minute...she replied with "but girls and boys aren't suppose to see eachother naked!" so I said, its okay, we aren't looking :noway: so she came back with "you better not be or you'll both be grounded!"
    kids are funny...
  • GetHotIn2014
    GetHotIn2014 Posts: 201 Member
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    My cousin has like 6-7 kids now and they all are characters. Other day on Facebook he posted on Facebook:
    "Rowan: Daddy, sometimes when we go through the car wash my penis gets scared.

    Then, after we take a moment to reflect on this...

    Lydia: Daddy, sometimes when we go through the car wash my bagina gets scared."

    Someone commented and said "I'd avoid that car wash."

    I was lmao for a while after reading that.
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
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    My daughter has come out with some doozies over the years.

    We went to Disney world when she was four and a worker asked her where she was from her response was " my mommy's belly" the young man paused for a minute looked at her looked at me and said " yes that's right" if I could have taken a picture of his face it was priceless but he recovered nicely :laugh:

    My father in law died unexpectedly 5 years ago and a few weeks later she was with my mother in law and said " well memere now that pepere is in heaven you can get remarried" now I assure you no one had even thought about much less talked about my MIL remarrying, I have no idea were she came up with that she was only six :noway:

    Then a few weeks later she again talking to my MIL said " well at least you get all the money in pepere's wallet now" :noway:

    Then at thanksgiving one year her and my nephew were talking they are only 2 months apart in age and all the sudden very loudly she says " I am not having any babies! " and my nephew says " but you have to have the babies you're a girl". Then he says to me " Aunt Carrie doesn't Camille have to have babies when she grows up". I told him o only if she wants too, he was horrified :laugh:

    When she was in first grade my German shepard passed away, we knew it was coming she was old and her health was failing. We discussed it with her quite a bit before hand. well she happened to be sleeping at my mother in laws when it happened so we called and asked my MIL to meet us at the vet because we had promised her she would get to say good bye. Well my nephew was there also so after we brought my daughter in he asked if he could say good bye to Tibet also. My MIL quickly replied " no Alex Tibet is sleeping ". Well my daughter very loudly and matter of factly says" she's not sleeping memere she's dead" :noway:

    I'm sometimes surprised my poor MIL still speaks to us :laugh:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    My daughter has come out with some doozies over the years.

    We went to Disney world when she was four and a worker asked her where she was from her response was " my mommy's belly" the young man paused for a minute looked at her looked at me and said " yes that's right" if I could have taken a picture of his face it was priceless but he recovered nicely :laugh:

    My father in law died unexpectedly 5 years ago and a few weeks later she was with my mother in law and said " well memere now that pepere is in heaven you can get remarried" now I assure you no one had even thought about much less talked about my MIL remarrying, I have no idea were she came up with that she was only six :noway:

    Then a few weeks later she again talking to my MIL said " well at least you get all the money in pepere's wallet now" :noway:

    Then at thanksgiving one year her and my nephew were talking they are only 2 months apart in age and all the sudden very loudly she says " I am not having any babies! " and my nephew says " but you have to have the babies you're a girl". Then he says to me " Aunt Carrie doesn't Camille have to have babies when she grows up". I told him o only if she wants too, he was horrified :laugh:

    When she was in first grade my German shepard passed away, we knew it was coming she was old and her health was failing. We discussed it with her quite a bit before hand. well she happened to be sleeping at my mother in laws when it happened so we called and asked my MIL to meet us at the vet because we had promised her she would get to say good bye. Well my nephew was there also so after we brought my daughter in he asked if he could say good bye to Tibet also. My MIL quickly replied " no Alex Tibet is sleeping ". Well my daughter very loudly and matter of factly says" she's not sleeping memere she's dead" :noway:

    I'm sometimes surprised my poor MIL still speaks to us :laugh:

    that sound exactly like my niece. is your daughter by any chance a libra? or a mexican?
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
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    My daughter has come out with some doozies over the years.

    We went to Disney world when she was four and a worker asked her where she was from her response was " my mommy's belly" the young man paused for a minute looked at her looked at me and said " yes that's right" if I could have taken a picture of his face it was priceless but he recovered nicely :laugh:

    My father in law died unexpectedly 5 years ago and a few weeks later she was with my mother in law and said " well memere now that pepere is in heaven you can get remarried" now I assure you no one had even thought about much less talked about my MIL remarrying, I have no idea were she came up with that she was only six :noway:

    Then a few weeks later she again talking to my MIL said " well at least you get all the money in pepere's wallet now" :noway:

    Then at thanksgiving one year her and my nephew were talking they are only 2 months apart in age and all the sudden very loudly she says " I am not having any babies! " and my nephew says " but you have to have the babies you're a girl". Then he says to me " Aunt Carrie doesn't Camille have to have babies when she grows up". I told him o only if she wants too, he was horrified :laugh:

    When she was in first grade my German shepard passed away, we knew it was coming she was old and her health was failing. We discussed it with her quite a bit before hand. well she happened to be sleeping at my mother in laws when it happened so we called and asked my MIL to meet us at the vet because we had promised her she would get to say good bye. Well my nephew was there also so after we brought my daughter in he asked if he could say good bye to Tibet also. My MIL quickly replied " no Alex Tibet is sleeping ". Well my daughter very loudly and matter of factly says" she's not sleeping memere she's dead" :noway:

    I'm sometimes surprised my poor MIL still speaks to us :laugh:

    that sound exactly like my niece. is your daughter by any chance a libra? or a mexican?

    Haha no she is a Scorpian and Irish/French with a few others thrown in for good measure, I like to say I'm a mutt :laugh: .
  • SlimsLiftingMoreThanLipstick
    SlimsLiftingMoreThanLipstick Posts: 122 Member
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    I took my daughters to swim practice and had a nice run while they swam. Afterwords we are driving home and stopped at a light.
    I'm not looking to fly but the younger guy next to us seems to be checking me out. My daughter says " mom that boy is looking at you." Her older sister quickly says " He must be drunk!" I laughed so hard!
  • Territravel
    Territravel Posts: 165 Member
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    lol did not see this one before i posted mine....Must be a thing for kids to say all around the world!! lol

    This happened to my co-worker ten years ago, but i still think it's funny.
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
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    Okay today's that I heard, and once again I teach high schoolers.

    Student 1: "Why are you in such a bad mood?"
    Student 2: "There are white people laughing."
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
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    My niece stayed overnight with me when she was four or so. I heard her in the other room crying so I asked her what was wrong. She just sobbed and sobbed saying her cheese was 'weak'. I was like wth? She held up a slice of cheese I had given her earlier, it had gotten warm and 'flopped over' when she held it up. lol

    I took my nephew hiking when he was about 3 and we were going up a big hill. He stopped and said, "I can't dooooooooo thissss! This hill is heavyyyyyyyy", in a horrible, whiney voice. He's 31 now but I can still hear him say it. :)


    I laughed so hard about the weak cheese!

    Read it again, laughed again....

    My son was 3 and we were living in Italy, he got into the habit of saying "ciao, bella" to everybody, he used to say it to an old man across the hall in our apartments, Cracked me up every time :laugh:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    "Dad, you are right and I am wrong. Sorry."
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
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    Todays:

    "I taught my little sister to sit, shake, and roll over before I was able to teach my dog. I gave her dog treats too."
  • alias1001
    alias1001 Posts: 634 Member
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    Overheard from a whining and presumably tired little girl on train: "Are we in a tunnel?" No, it's dark out. "No, it's NOT dark out." But it's night. "I WANT it to be MORNING! I wanna see out the window."

    Oh, if parents only had the power of gods.
  • MereExtraordinaire
    MereExtraordinaire Posts: 143 Member
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    This: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MereExtraordinaire/view/shay-and-the-possum-493489

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