Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    My daughter has come out with some doozies over the years.

    We went to Disney world when she was four and a worker asked her where she was from her response was " my mommy's belly" the young man paused for a minute looked at her looked at me and said " yes that's right" if I could have taken a picture of his face it was priceless but he recovered nicely :laugh:

    My father in law died unexpectedly 5 years ago and a few weeks later she was with my mother in law and said " well memere now that pepere is in heaven you can get remarried" now I assure you no one had even thought about much less talked about my MIL remarrying, I have no idea were she came up with that she was only six :noway:

    Then a few weeks later she again talking to my MIL said " well at least you get all the money in pepere's wallet now" :noway:

    Then at thanksgiving one year her and my nephew were talking they are only 2 months apart in age and all the sudden very loudly she says " I am not having any babies! " and my nephew says " but you have to have the babies you're a girl". Then he says to me " Aunt Carrie doesn't Camille have to have babies when she grows up". I told him o only if she wants too, he was horrified :laugh:

    When she was in first grade my German shepard passed away, we knew it was coming she was old and her health was failing. We discussed it with her quite a bit before hand. well she happened to be sleeping at my mother in laws when it happened so we called and asked my MIL to meet us at the vet because we had promised her she would get to say good bye. Well my nephew was there also so after we brought my daughter in he asked if he could say good bye to Tibet also. My MIL quickly replied " no Alex Tibet is sleeping ". Well my daughter very loudly and matter of factly says" she's not sleeping memere she's dead" :noway:

    I'm sometimes surprised my poor MIL still speaks to us :laugh:

    that sound exactly like my niece. is your daughter by any chance a libra? or a mexican?
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
    My daughter has come out with some doozies over the years.

    We went to Disney world when she was four and a worker asked her where she was from her response was " my mommy's belly" the young man paused for a minute looked at her looked at me and said " yes that's right" if I could have taken a picture of his face it was priceless but he recovered nicely :laugh:

    My father in law died unexpectedly 5 years ago and a few weeks later she was with my mother in law and said " well memere now that pepere is in heaven you can get remarried" now I assure you no one had even thought about much less talked about my MIL remarrying, I have no idea were she came up with that she was only six :noway:

    Then a few weeks later she again talking to my MIL said " well at least you get all the money in pepere's wallet now" :noway:

    Then at thanksgiving one year her and my nephew were talking they are only 2 months apart in age and all the sudden very loudly she says " I am not having any babies! " and my nephew says " but you have to have the babies you're a girl". Then he says to me " Aunt Carrie doesn't Camille have to have babies when she grows up". I told him o only if she wants too, he was horrified :laugh:

    When she was in first grade my German shepard passed away, we knew it was coming she was old and her health was failing. We discussed it with her quite a bit before hand. well she happened to be sleeping at my mother in laws when it happened so we called and asked my MIL to meet us at the vet because we had promised her she would get to say good bye. Well my nephew was there also so after we brought my daughter in he asked if he could say good bye to Tibet also. My MIL quickly replied " no Alex Tibet is sleeping ". Well my daughter very loudly and matter of factly says" she's not sleeping memere she's dead" :noway:

    I'm sometimes surprised my poor MIL still speaks to us :laugh:

    that sound exactly like my niece. is your daughter by any chance a libra? or a mexican?

    Haha no she is a Scorpian and Irish/French with a few others thrown in for good measure, I like to say I'm a mutt :laugh: .
  • SlimsLiftingMoreThanLipstick
    SlimsLiftingMoreThanLipstick Posts: 122 Member
    I took my daughters to swim practice and had a nice run while they swam. Afterwords we are driving home and stopped at a light.
    I'm not looking to fly but the younger guy next to us seems to be checking me out. My daughter says " mom that boy is looking at you." Her older sister quickly says " He must be drunk!" I laughed so hard!
  • Territravel
    Territravel Posts: 165 Member
    lol did not see this one before i posted mine....Must be a thing for kids to say all around the world!! lol

    This happened to my co-worker ten years ago, but i still think it's funny.
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
    Okay today's that I heard, and once again I teach high schoolers.

    Student 1: "Why are you in such a bad mood?"
    Student 2: "There are white people laughing."
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
    My niece stayed overnight with me when she was four or so. I heard her in the other room crying so I asked her what was wrong. She just sobbed and sobbed saying her cheese was 'weak'. I was like wth? She held up a slice of cheese I had given her earlier, it had gotten warm and 'flopped over' when she held it up. lol

    I took my nephew hiking when he was about 3 and we were going up a big hill. He stopped and said, "I can't dooooooooo thissss! This hill is heavyyyyyyyy", in a horrible, whiney voice. He's 31 now but I can still hear him say it. :)


    I laughed so hard about the weak cheese!

    Read it again, laughed again....

    My son was 3 and we were living in Italy, he got into the habit of saying "ciao, bella" to everybody, he used to say it to an old man across the hall in our apartments, Cracked me up every time :laugh:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    "Dad, you are right and I am wrong. Sorry."
  • savvygurl101
    savvygurl101 Posts: 37 Member
    Todays:

    "I taught my little sister to sit, shake, and roll over before I was able to teach my dog. I gave her dog treats too."
  • alias1001
    alias1001 Posts: 634 Member
    Overheard from a whining and presumably tired little girl on train: "Are we in a tunnel?" No, it's dark out. "No, it's NOT dark out." But it's night. "I WANT it to be MORNING! I wanna see out the window."

    Oh, if parents only had the power of gods.
  • MereExtraordinaire
    MereExtraordinaire Posts: 143 Member
    This: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/MereExtraordinaire/view/shay-and-the-possum-493489
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
    The girl I watch talks about the fish that live in her brain and do her work for her.

    She's also asked what animal corn comes from
  • sarantonio
    sarantonio Posts: 880 Member
    My son just came home from school and said "Everyone thinks it'd be so cool to have a baby elephant. Its not. Think about all that poop, its not like they use the toilet, they'd just poop right on the floor, stink up the whole house and everything." LMAO:laugh:
  • theskinnyonme
    theskinnyonme Posts: 443 Member
    Mom how big of a shark would it take to swallow me whole?
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    When I was pregnant with my son and walking my daughter, we passed a man with a huge beer belly (he was shirtless... :P) and my daughter in her wisdom of a nearly 2 years, said quite loudly, "MOMMY THAT MAN"S GONNA HAVE A BABY JUST LIKE YOU!"
  • gr8pillock
    gr8pillock Posts: 374 Member
    "Mommy, when I grow up, if I have a daughter like you I'm going to name her diarrhea."
    "Is that so?"
    "Yep. Diarrhea. Diaaaaaarrheeeea. Poop."
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    "Mommy, when I grow up, can I marry daddy?" um.... don't think you're gonna want him ... lol!!!!
  • lisa483
    lisa483 Posts: 105 Member
    Both mine are goofy as hell
    My favorites are when my son (7) barged into the bathroom and I was doing the "brazillian butt lift pencil test" and he ran out laughing and yelling "Mom is trying to put a pencil up her butt!"

    And my daughter (4) ask if she could grow a "moose-stache" when she gets older, when I told her no she sadly replied "But I alweady do take my bite-a-mins!!"

    Edit: Oh, when my niece was 4 she had a habit of screaming "oh my nuts!" when she fell, she's the only girl of 4

    These made me LOL in work haha, kids are so funny
  • kgibson17
    kgibson17 Posts: 23
    My 4 year old son asked my husband when we were in the hot tub one day, "why do you have dog hair on your chest daddy?" I couldn't help but laugh!
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
    My two year old son is wise beyond his years.

    "Ronald McDonald is a little scary. He's an advertisement."
  • resolvedtobefit
    resolvedtobefit Posts: 55 Member
    I was working at a grocery store and was at a cash register. This kid was riding in the basket when he stood up, smiled great big and shouted out "UNDER PANTS!". I about died laughing.
  • BrittBritt12321
    BrittBritt12321 Posts: 247 Member
    My neice tells me "BrittBritt, my feet said they wanna walk around!" (She wanted to go for a walk) & "My tummy says it wants to eat something!"
  • gimpygramma
    gimpygramma Posts: 383 Member
    I was playing with my three year old grandson and needed a bathroom break. He was reluctant to interupt our game and as I started out of the room, he called after me,
    Pee fast, Nana.
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
    Me, my husband, and our 4-year-old (at the time) son were at the park. My son was talking to another woman there with her children and said to her "do you see that man standing over there with that girl (me)? That's my dad!"
    THAT is funny!
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
    My 4 year old son asked my husband when we were in the hot tub one day, "why do you have dog hair on your chest daddy?" I couldn't help but laugh!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • kellyr730
    kellyr730 Posts: 44 Member
    When my daughter was about 6 we were watching a Christmas movie one night and she looked at me and goes "Santa needs to be on the naughty list" and I asked her why. She said "because he says Ho and that's a bad word" then her sister asked me what a Ho was...lol
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    When my son was about 5, we sent him to vacation bible school (summer camp). We were driving somewhere afterward, and I heard a lot of soft child chatter in the back seat - he was just talking away to no one, and not loud enough that I could hear. Then I heard... "and that's how Jesus became one of the living dead." :laugh:
  • IRollC30
    IRollC30 Posts: 54 Member
    I work for a school system and was working inside of a 4th grade class recently. The teacher was reviewing fractions on the Smart Board and was having the students read back the fraction on the board. The little chunky kid beside me, poor thing, read his fractions off fine, except for the last one.

    The screen had 1/5, he read "One fifth" which was correct.

    Next, the screen had 1/4, he read "One fourth" which was correct.

    Next, the screen had 1/3, and he read "One third" which was also correct

    The last one on the screen was 1/2 and he read "One two-th" - I literally busted out laughing. He said it so convincingly I just couldn't help myself.
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
    i have a rottweiler mix and two toddlers were walking with their moms. and they pointed at my dog and said look its growing a tail! me and my husband could barely keep a straight face.
  • ldonahue74
    ldonahue74 Posts: 53 Member
    at christmas time, as i was walking past, a little girl about 5 or 6 was pulling her mother over to a display of playboy lingerie. and i heard the mother say (surprised) "you want THAT for christmas???" and the girl responded that "yes, its BEEEYOOOTIFUL"
  • twinkiemon
    twinkiemon Posts: 216 Member
    This was probably the funniest one from my office:

    Dr. I (Dentist): "Do you like to eat candy?"
    4-year-old patient: "I eat it sometimes, but I never eat poop. If you eat poop, you die!"

    That was probably 2 years ago, but I still remember it because that little boy made us laugh so hard.

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