Strangest thing you have heard a kid say

nzashley

I was trying on gym clothes at Sports Authorty (dressing rooms are very open to the whole store) with my 2 year old son (Whom we had taught all the anotomically correct body parts for HIS body) and as I was putting on some pants he yelled at the top of his lungs- "WAIT!! MOM!! I want to see your penis!" I heard a few people literally choke! I said very loudly, "Buddy, MOM'S DON'T HAVE PENISES!!!" I put my clothes back on and walked my son and my self right out of that store WITHOUT making eye contact with ANYONE!

savvygurl101

Alright so back at school today. Not entirely funny but was weird just hearing it randomly in the mix of all the other conversations going on in my class as they are working on their projects.

"What did I do this weekend you ask?! WHAT DID I DO!! I was so amazing this weekend that I probably could have dropped kicked a full grown horse!!"

I really wanted to ask for the rest of that conversation.

sbbhbm

The day we brought our new cat home from the shelter, my daughter (3 years old) was sitting on the bed watching him. When I walked into the room she said "Mommy, the cat told me in my head that he wants to poop on the floor, so I told him in his head that he's not allowed to." Maybe I have a Dr. Dolittle on my hands...

prwhicks

My son (5) said, "I don't have nightmares. I have Halloween dreams."

ArmandoG28

my son asked me if he was the antichrist :drinker:

sbbhbm

my daughter also thinks the little piece on the bottom of the banana is banana poop.

savvygurl101

my son asked me if he was the antichrist :drinker:

And whyyy did he think this?

savvygurl101

my daughter also thinks the little piece on the bottom of the banana is banana poop.

HAHAHAH!! I have heard this before from other kids.

KainStar

Very disturbing but I was at a public pool in my late teens and my friends and I went into the locker room to get our things and this lady was showering naked with the curtain open not caring at all(kudos to her) then i heard a little girl (maybe 6-7) ask her mom "what's wrong with her cookie mommy?, Why does it hang so low?" And pointed to the lady in the showers private area. I couldn't help but laugh, I had to leave because I'm sure the lady felt embarrassed enough with everyone else there.

Macgeek74

Mommy is winning in a game of yahtzee in the bedroom with some guy.

weightedfootsteps

I've posted this before. .but It's so good!

So my kid sometimes requires me to squat in front of the toilet while he's on it and he lays his head down on my knees. . .don't ask. .

Anyway, he's laying down on my knees and he says "I like yours better, because when mommy does it, my head goes down there and I smell something weird. ."

Of course I almost choked to death at this point but I manage to say: "Oh really Russell, what does it smell like?". .

"I dunno. . Dead Squirrels?"

(don't worry, we're already divorced ) )

I shouldn't drink when reading your stories I have discovered..because now I have to clean my monitor...:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

vhines5

Thanks for all the laughs!!!

My 18 y/o son and I are standing in line at the DMV. He's registering his car and I'm renewing my drivers license. He's holding the paperwork.

son: you're an organ donor?

me: yes

son: what organ did you donate?

me: *blank stare* i haven't donated one yet. it's so that if you get killed in an accident, they can take your organs and give them to someone else.

son: that's a good idea

smh...

Game8

Not something I've heard, but seen. It's a weird story, but here's what happened:

I always take my bus everyday at the same time and there's this blonde kid (maybe grade 7 or 8) who always takes the same bus too. And no matter where I sit on the bus, he always finds the seat beside me and sits there. Even if the whole bus is empty, he always picks that seat.. After the bus takes off, he starts touching my arm/ leg with his :indifferent: Not just in a casual kind of way, but REALLY touching. Like his whole thigh presses against me. He also wears these huge headphones so I can't talk to him.

amandapye78

I have 3 kids and my 16yr dd is the queen of assuming a word means something it doesn't. They were studying Greek History and there was a woman my daughter stood up to describe and she described her as a dominatrix (meaning a strong woman) the teacher couldn't stop laughing and said "well lets hope not" and suggested she ask her mom what it means. She came home and in front of my mother in law said " mom, whats a dominatrix?". I choked on my water and then had to explain it to my daughter AND mother in law..Awkward.

Then the same daughter heard my son 13 complaining about his braces and she asked him if he needed to see the gynecologist. LMAO. My son looked at me and said "mom I am uncomfortable" . bahahaha. I corrected her

Vain_Witch

My 6 year old:

"Mommy, I REALLY want a sister! But if you ever have another baby and it's a boy, you should just send it down the river..."

:noway: :huh:

szaychek

I asked my (5 y/o at the time) son what he was watching on TV (I was in the kitchen making dinner). He yells from the other room, "I'm watching the pink *****"........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I about fainted and then about broke my neck getting to the living room in a mad dash!

He was watching Pink Panther (THANK HEAVENS!!!)

jw17695

lol. One of the kids in my class (3 years old) informed me that "the doctor stuck a q-tip up mommy's butt."

AlongCame_Molly

Worked at a daycare, and a 2.5 y-o little boy told me "I have a knife hidden under my bed!" :noway: Told a coworker who babysits for him and she checked. No knife. *whew*

csman49

"Thats the man, officer"

AlongCame_Molly

lol. One of the kids in my class (3 years old) informed me that "the doctor stuck a q-tip up mommy's butt."

It was probably a pap smear, but why you'd bring a 3 y-o in with you for that, idk... *smh*