Folks with daughters....
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As a father of two young girls who I take to the Y many times a week, THANK YOU!!0
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My former Y, (excersise at home mostly) used to only hire young college kids but after a few complaints that they were spending more time talking to one another than actually assisting members, now they hire older staff that are more hands on and alert.
Kudos on what you did. I had a guy stare at me my neice and my two young daughters the entire time we were in the pool. Happen maybe two or three times. I mean he literally stopped swimming and stared. About a year later, he became the Assistant Warden at the Prison I worked at...lol Weirdos every where.0 -
As the father of a teenaged daughter I've made sure she is aware of the real fact, and not reliant on whiteknights, educate your kids without scaring them, tell the real facts of life, let them have a real childhood rather than a life lived in fear. Let them play outside, let them meet other people, let them walk to places, let them share experences with other people.
Your anger about this thread makes me go 'hmm' what is your problem?!0 -
Someone started a thread recently saying how a young girl had been sent into a hot tub by her coach where there were 2 men, the poster was concerned so followed the girl in there.
She was then blasted by pages and pages of posts saying she was wrong to jump to conclusions etc etc and some men felt insulted.
This post goes to show her concerns were more than justified.
No it does not. I completely agree with this OP, but the objection many of us had to the previous post was that the woman was worried because men were simply there. Men can be either good or bad. Just like women. Clearly the OP in this situation did the right thing.
You have no idea what it is like to be a a teenage girl, so really you haven't the first clue what you're talking about.
Wow! So, I guess men aren't qualified to be fathers then? The amount of anger and vitriol I see like this never fails to amaze me.0 -
See, this is a somewhat difficult situation.I don't really like posting this under chit chat fun and games and such, because this is where I go to post things of a not so serious nature, but tonight, I have a serious topic (I know it's a miracle). I want to share with those of you who have daughters, something I witnessed today that torqued me to no end, and caution you to have a frank and honest discussion with them about their safety.
This afternoon, I took my youngest to the local Y so he could get his workout in. Because I had already completed my official workout this morning, I decided to go for a swim and spend some time in the hot tub and steam room. After swimming a few laps for 30 minutes, I hit the steamroom.
I was in there with another guy who looked to be in his late 30s early 40s. These 2 teenage girls came in and sat down. They were at most 14 years old. They were both slim and wearing bikinis. They were discussing their drama in the school that they went to. This guy starts cutting into the conversation and talking to the girls. Pretty soon, he is scooching over to their side of the steamroom, and talking with them. I begin to take notice more as he moved in closer to the girls.
After about 10 minutes, he starts to subtly guide the discussion towards the inappropriate. The girls begin to laugh nervously. One of the girls, you can tell, is getting uncomfortable with the situation. She stands up, and tells her friend that it is getting too hot for her, and she is going to go to the sauna instead. She moves toward the door, and her friend stands up as well. The guy grabs her wrist, and says something to the effect that the girl is obviously having fun talking, and her friend will be fine in the sauna without her. Won't she stay and talk with him some more? He appeals to her desire to be grown up, and not a child with some line about understanding that when you're not a grown up woman, you have this need to be with your friends, but a grownup would hang out and talk. The girl went to sit back down next to the guy, and looked to the door.
I looked at her and said, she should probably not ditch her friend as they came together, and that was not a cool thing to do and her friend would probably be upset. I gave the guy a dirty look, but I don't know if he saw it through the steam. The girl got up, and hesitantly walked to the door, and then dashed through it. The guy then laughed and got up and left.
I stayed back for a couple of minutes, and then my conscience got the better of me. I got up and went to the sauna, and saw the two girls there talking about how creepy/awesome it was that that guy was totally interested in talking with them. The guy was not there, and I checked the locker room to report him to the front desk, but there was no sign of him. He must have high-tailed it outta there.
Just make sure that your kids know that there are some creepy predators out there, and teach them how to resist. It really irked me that this guy appealed to the girls desire to be grown up, and used that as a tool to try and get friendly with this girl.
grrrrrrr.
At first, one might think that the guy talking to the girls is just being friendly or, he was bored or whatever.
For some people, that might have set off an alarm while others might have blown it off as harmless.
Now, I am not sure what "inappropriate" things the guy started to talk about however, that probably would have also gotten my attention.
Once he grabbed her wrist however, there is no longer any doubt left.
Would I have punched the guy? Probably not.
What I would have done is quickly interrupted and asked, very loudly and clearly:
"Girls, are you here with one of your parents?"
If they answered yes, I would have suggested that they both go find the parents.
If the answer was no, I would have "told" the girls it was time for them to leave.
If the guy protested, I would have very firmly again stated it was time for the girls to get out of there.
While no direct threats would have been made, the creeper would have known the deal.
But again, it is really hard to draw that line between being protective and being an alarmist.0 -
As the father of a teenaged daughter I've made sure she is aware of the real fact, and not reliant on whiteknights, educate your kids without scaring them, tell the real facts of life, let them have a real childhood rather than a life lived in fear. Let them play outside, let them meet other people, let them walk to places, let them share experences with other people.
Your anger about this thread makes me go 'hmm' what is your problem?!
I agree with you in the context that not living in fear is a goal to aspire to. However, there are those out there that will cause harm. That is why we do have "white nights" in government that try to lessen our fears by creating laws and maintaining a police force (white knights) to hopefully prevent harmful actions. But all of that combined still does not prevent some of the harmful actions others do.
This is a very emotional topic and for many men, their greatest fear, that harm will come to their daughters, and in that context, "their hill to die on". Can we just agree that there is cause for concern ?0 -
WOW!!! What a creep!
I'm glad you were there and stepped in.0 -
As the father of a teenaged daughter I've made sure she is aware of the real fact, and not reliant on whiteknights, educate your kids without scaring them, tell the real facts of life, let them have a real childhood rather than a life lived in fear. Let them play outside, let them meet other people, let them walk to places, let them share experences with other people.
Your anger about this thread makes me go 'hmm' what is your problem?!
I agree with you in the context that not living in fear is a goal to aspire to. However, there are those out there that will cause harm. That is why we do have "white nights" in government that try to lessen our fears by creating laws and maintaining a police force (white knights) to hopefully prevent harmful actions. But all of that combined still does not prevent some of the harmful actions others do.
This is a very emotional topic and for many men, their greatest fear, that harm will come to their daughters, and in that context, "their hill to die on". Can we just agree that there is cause for concern ?
wow this posted twice0 -
Kevindelabrue I love you.0
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Good for you for stepping in. I have twin teenage daughters and I am constantly worried about their safety. Thank you for making sure those two girls were kept safe!!!0
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Three things my daughter will know
How to be strong
Never trust a boy
How to punch people in the face. Hard.0 -
Do you understand that there are nine times as many kids abused by people know to them?to. However, there are those out there that will cause harm.
They are nine times more likely to be abused by people who YOU trust.
What part of that fact is hard to understand?
The danger isn’t out there; it’s within their family circle, the people they know, the brothers and fathers of their friends, their teacher their coach, someone that they know and like.
Danger is all about them and NOT “out there”.
Don’t fear some random and ultimately harmless guy at the gym or the Y, vigilantly is an ugly and dangerous mind set. Keep an eye on your kids and an eye on the REAL danger.0 -
Great post! I think a lot of young women get flustered and confused in these types of situations because they have been trained from day one to listen to adults and don't know how to refuse without feeling guilty. Not only that but kids that age are so desperate for attention and to be grown up already, and he was totally exploiting those feelings.
I'm very glad you were there as that could definitely have turned ugly otherwise. I'm sure in a couple of years she'll look back and realize the severity of the situation and be super grateful you were there, if she isn't already.0 -
Teenage girls are probably the dumbest people on the face of the planet, so good job looking out.0
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Do you understand that there are nine times as many kids abused by people know to them?to. However, there are those out there that will cause harm.
They are nine times more likely to be abused by people who YOU trust.
What part of that fact is hard to understand?
The danger isn’t out there; it’s within their family circle, the people they know, the brothers and fathers of their friends, their teacher their coach, someone that they know and like.
Danger is all about them and NOT “out there”.
Don’t fear some random and ultimately harmless guy at the gym or the Y, vigilantly is an ugly and dangerous mind set. Keep an eye on your kids and an eye on the REAL danger.
ok you win, I don't find the fact hard to understand although you think I do. Sorry for the "poor choice of terms" yes I agree danger is all about them. Sounds like you just want to fight for the sake of fighting and not the issue itself. Take Care !!0 -
Thanks for stepping in.
3 daughters, 5 hand guns. I got this covered.
I'm with you...
1 daughter, 2 hand guns and a crap ton of 12gs.
OP I am glad you were there to step in. I remember when I was 16, a man in his 30s/40s tried something similar at the lake.... I just looked at him and said "I'm 16 buddy. I'll get ya 60 in the house... if my dad don't kill you first... " He took the hint.0 -
I have two daughters....11 and 8...and one of the reasons I try to stay healthy and in good/decent shape....is to protect them ...a lot of sick guys out there.....0
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That's crazy and sick.
I'm very glad that my gym has separate steam rooms/saunas for men/women.0 -
Thank you so much for stepping in. I have a 14 yr old daughter and this really bothers me.0
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Someone started a thread recently saying how a young girl had been sent into a hot tub by her coach where there were 2 men, the poster was concerned so followed the girl in there.
She was then blasted by pages and pages of posts saying she was wrong to jump to conclusions etc etc and some men felt insulted.
This post goes to show her concerns were more than justified.
No it does not. I completely agree with this OP, but the objection many of us had to the previous post was that the woman was worried because men were simply there. Men can be either good or bad. Just like women. Clearly the OP in this situation did the right thing.
You have no idea what it is like to be a a teenage girl, so really you haven't the first clue what you're talking about.
Blimey, you're rude. Maybe everyone on the internet should end what they post with "in my opinion". Would that satisfy you? I was a teenage girl once and IN MY OPINION the OP did exactly the right thing. No need to get your knickers in a twist.0
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