What have you learned from your relationships?

jbutterflye
jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
in Chit-Chat
What have you learned about yourself and how have you grown and changed (for the better hopefully) as a result of being in a relationship?

What have you learned about being in relationships in general?

What would you do/ not do again?
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Replies

  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
    To be honest. Speak what's on your mind. Don't let your partner shut you down when you need to talk about something. Stand up for yourself. And most importantly, if in the beginning, you get a gut instinct that something isn't right, or you're not ready, to not wait anther decade to find out if your instinct is there for a reason.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Some things I've learned... to be more flexible, to not make assumptions or jump to conclusions, to not miss the forest for the trees, to be more self sufficient and independent.
  • ChloeRoseLejeune
    ChloeRoseLejeune Posts: 488
    NEVER stay with someone if they change and your only reason for staying together, is that you feel bad to break up a long relationship. :drinker:
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    i've learned that people don't change, at least not overnight. they may have the honest and good intention of trying to change- but it just doesn't happen. also, the statement "once a cheater, always a cheater," rings true.

    the most important thing i've learned is that you can't put your own life on hold to try to make a life with someone else. if you have to ignore things that are important to you just to be with someone, they aren't right for you.
  • ChloeRoseLejeune
    ChloeRoseLejeune Posts: 488
    i've learned that people don't change, at least not overnight. they may have the honest and good intention of trying to change- but it just doesn't happen. also, the statement "once a cheater, always a cheater," rings true.

    the most important thing i've learned is that you can't put your own life on hold to try to make a life with someone else. if you have to ignore things that are important to you just to be with someone, they aren't right for you.

    ^ this 110%
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Invest more in meeting people with better personalities rather than just physical aspects.
  • CaliforniaSweetheart
    CaliforniaSweetheart Posts: 989
    That I should've junk punched him sooner rather than later. I'm more selective now.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I have learnt:

    People lie, alot.

    Don't put up with crap.

    ETA: I can only truly rely on myself.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I've learned that sometimes things don't work out, but that is ok. Even if the other person is wonderful sometimes you are heading in different directions or have fundamental differences that make being together impossible.
  • RetroRob
    RetroRob Posts: 58
    I learnt that once the trust has gone there is no relationship :sad:
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Love when you can
    Cry when you have to
    Be who you must
    That's a part of the plan
    Await your arrival
    With simple survival
    And one day we'll all understand
  • Tatiyanya
    Tatiyanya Posts: 255 Member
    That i should perhaps change my taste in man all over, and while complicated introvertics with mommy dependancy might ring of challenge they are USELESS when it comes to creating a household together.
    And that is someone doesnt respect you, or you lost respect for someone there is no way to fix that.
  • oudixon
    oudixon Posts: 389 Member
    What is a Relationship?

    I have learned that I am too damn nice to people in general and fall into the friend zone way to fast. But, I don't care- I believe you should be friends first.
  • sofielein
    sofielein Posts: 539 Member
    That i should perhaps change my taste in man all over, and while complicated introvertics with mommy dependancy might ring of challenge they are USELESS when it comes to creating a household together.

    thisthisthis
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    What is a Relationship?

    I have learned that I am too damn nice to people in general and fall into the friend zone way to fast. But, I don't care- I believe you should be friends first.

    It's a balancing act.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    What is a Relationship?

    I have learned that I am too damn nice to people in general and fall into the friend zone way to fast. But, I don't care- I believe you should be friends first.

    You probably lack assertiveness. People like nice people.

    To the OP

    My past relationships have taught me not to get in one unless I'm truly passionate about the person.
  • BoomstickChick
    BoomstickChick Posts: 428 Member
    I think I was stupid for being in a steady relationship so young--day after my 19th birthday. I think it made me miss out on a lot. Now I'm almost 26 with the same person and I have regrets at times.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    What is a Relationship?

    I have learned that I am too damn nice to people in general and fall into the friend zone way to fast. But, I don't care- I believe you should be friends first.

    It's a balancing act.

    At the end if the day, you still need to like each other even if you're not necessarily "in love" at the moment...
  • pilarter
    pilarter Posts: 49
    I want to be like you!
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    "Best" friends don't always have the best intentions.

    *Edited for a little bit more clarity.
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    oh! you have to claim your side of the bed early on, or you'll be stuck with whichever side you ended up on the first time you spent the night together.
  • daterminedfatburnerX
    daterminedfatburnerX Posts: 346 Member
    that patience is really a virtue if you dont have it your screwed
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    That I have TERRIBLE taste, and shouldn't be allowed to pick my own men! :laugh:
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    That I have TERRIBLE taste, and shouldn't be allowed to pick my own men! :laugh:

    this. i shouldn't even be allowed to have internet access.
  • _EmmaStrong_
    _EmmaStrong_ Posts: 647 Member
    I have learned that no matter how much you LOVE the other person, you have to dissect everything about the relationship! If they have a personality flaw, that you know in your heart, you could never live with, DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT, go through with the relationship! The hurt is not worth it! SO NOT WORTH IT!!
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    If you're ever asking yourself (or someone else) "should I get married?" the answer is no. If you're doubting it, then you shouldn't do it.

    Discuss things like an adult.

    Once you've settled an issue, let it go. Don't bring it up again unless there's a new issue to discuss.

    Be honest.

    Don't expect your partner (or anyone else) to read your mind.

    Some people are just not good together, no matter how much they care about each other.

    Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.

    Instead of thinking of your relationship in terms of what your partner should be doing for you, ask yourself what you could be doing for them.


    Those are just a few, not all from the same relationship.

    ETA: Hey, this is my 2000th post!

    fillion-off-come-my-pants_zpse124ec47.gif
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    If you think you just have terrible taste in men or don't understand why you keep ending up in ****ty, emotionally abusive, or turbulent relationships, chances are the problem is you.

    I've learned more about the issues I have with myself from relationships than I have about how to work with other people.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Keep your mouth shut and ask yourself if its really worth arguing about
  • mum212
    mum212 Posts: 173 Member
    never stay with someone that beats you up and says it was your fault they did it...
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    never stay with someone that beats you up and says it was your fault they did it...

    ^^ This

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