What have you learned from your relationships?

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  • JimLeonardRN
    JimLeonardRN Posts: 296 Member
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    That until I learned to love myself more all I had been was an empty vessel trying to fill myself up with all the wrong things. Food, alcohol, women, you name it! It took me hitting rock bottom for me to realize that not only was I hurting myself but everyone I came into contact with!
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    That i shouldnt settle.
  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Too much to list here, but I've learned from threads like this to be damn thankful for the relationship I have.
  • Susan_Rae_1
    Susan_Rae_1 Posts: 154 Member
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    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.

    Sad - yes.
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    Know the difference between making compromises and settling, never settle and never rule out compromise
  • Susan_Rae_1
    Susan_Rae_1 Posts: 154 Member
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    I've learned that you cannot expect other people to provide you your happiness. Figure out what makes you happy, really happy, and make sure you have that under control. Also make sure you really love yourself and that you're not just looking for someone to give you the love you've been unable to give yourself. Make sure you truly know yourself before involving someone else because if you rely on them for these things they will likely fail to provide them for you and you will both be miserable in the end.

    Good stuff.:heart:
  • freshvl
    freshvl Posts: 422 Member
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    some say sad, some say reality
    In the words of Leonard Cohen

    Maybe there’s a God above
    But all I’ve ever learned from love
    Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
    It’s not a cry you can hear at night
    It’s not somebody who has seen the light
    It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    Too much to list here, but I've learned from threads like this to be damn thankful for the relationship I have.

    Also this.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.

    Sad - yes.

    That's some screwed up woman who would "come running" when treated like sh-t & ignored. I certainly don't, just the opposite. It's good to not get jaded just cause someone was too BLEEP to appreciate you and treat you right.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    If you have any doubt in your mind whatsoever, it's not meant to be.

    I had niggling doubts in my head about my ex about how I felt about him, and I ignored them. Towards the end I ended up resenting him because I realised I was 'settling'.

    I've been single for around 9 months now, and I've never been happier :drinker:
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
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    Don't date a whiny, emotionally stunted, man child
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
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    I've learned not to trust, watch my feelings and hold back as much as possible, also helps if i pretend to be an *kitten*, treat women like **** and ignore them and they come running.

    What have i learned most? It's easier if you learn not to love.

    Saddest damn thing I've read all day. And I've read some sad things today.

    Sad - yes.

    That's some screwed up woman who would "come running" when treated like sh-t & ignored. I certainly don't, just the opposite. It's good to not get jaded just cause someone was too BLEEP to appreciate you and treat you right.

    My bf has said similar things, that a lot of girls say they just want a nice guy then ignore the nice guy for the bad boy type
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    That I'm just as flawed as my husband, and require forgiveness.

    To be each other's best cheerleaders.

    *From past relationships:

    Don't get involved just because you're bored.

    Don't date younger, shy idyllic boys who you would just bulldoze over with your gigantic personality if given half the chance.

    If they feel like a younger brother, that won't change.
  • oh_em_gee
    oh_em_gee Posts: 887 Member
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    Be honest about your expectations, even if it means it's not going to work out
  • CuteWittleWifey
    CuteWittleWifey Posts: 60
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    I've learned to not punish my husband for the damage done by an ex in the past.

    I have also learned that if I need something instead of assuming he knows what I need, I clearly spell it out for him. Makes everyone's life so much easier that way.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    Love unabashedly and trust people until they give you a reason not to. If you never put yourself in a position where you could get hurt, you will miss out on a lot of really great things. Risk your heart. If you are wrong, you will heal.

    Abso-freaking-lutely
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    some say sad, some say reality
    In the words of Leonard Cohen

    Maybe there’s a God above
    But all I’ve ever learned from love
    Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
    It’s not a cry you can hear at night
    It’s not somebody who has seen the light
    It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

    I think you need to remember that not everyone is the same. Everyone gets hurt in life. The important thing is that everyone can heal. Stop dwelling on the negative aspects.
  • Momf3boys
    Momf3boys Posts: 1,637 Member
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    Don't date a whiny, emotionally stunted, man child

    ^^this
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
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    1. What have you learned about yourself and how have you grown and changed (for the better hopefully) as a result of being in a relationship?
    That I'm asexual, biromantic, and polyamorous, and lucky as all heck to have a steady other half who is understanding of it all.

    2. What have you learned about being in relationships in general?
    I've also learned to talk, and let talk. Especially as the relationship that I'm in, coming up to 2 years in July, has been long-distance since day 1 and we've only been together (not including before he moved to Canada) for 2 weeks. If we don't talk we both worry, and then worry it's our fault, especially if the other is having a bit of a downer. We're both on the same page with how fast we want things to go and how we want our future to be, but without talking... stress. Simple as.

    3. What would you do/ not do again?
    Do not try a long-distance relationship until I was absolutely sure. Do not rebound on a best friend (still a very, very close friend, mind you, it just didn't work between us, what with us both rebounding). Do not blame yourself for everything. Do not keep your feelings shut up for over a year before speaking out, you might be surprised to find the friend zone does not exist.

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