Why do women do it to each other?
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I think your question is really more about teenagers. As a whole, I don't see women as 'mean'. Yes, some are, but not any that I associate with LOL.
Agreed. I find it more a mark of maturity (or lack of), not gender. I'm nice to everyone.
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I think your question is really more about teenagers. As a whole, I don't see women as 'mean'. Yes, some are, but not any that I associate with LOL.
Oh, but they are. It's just the older women are not so blantant--well, not usually. Most of the taunting takes place behind the other person's back -- unless the taunter and tauntee are "friends". In that case, it happens face to face and behind their back.
I don't see this so much in the workplace, but then, where I worked was more of a professional environment. But I see it a lot in crafting venues.0 -
I hate when people generalize women as mean like some have in this thread. I am a woman and I'm not mean, petty, or nasty. Growing up, I was bullied by boys.0
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Yesterday at the gym two older teenagers walked into the body pump class. One of the teens was over weight and the other was very thin. They started the class and the thin one was not even trying and was laughing at the other who was trying to workout. She was telling her she looked stupid and the class was a joke. The bigger teen was ignoring her and kept trying but when she lost her balance (she did not fall) the thin girl said, "told you you couldn't do it." They both left.
It broke my heart to see one trying to get fit and the other "friend" putting her down!! Why are women so mean to each other?
Honestly? I've seen exactly that kind of stuff in males, too, so it's certainly not a female-specific behavior.0 -
I don't see this so much in the workplace, but then, where I worked was more of a professional environment. But I see it a lot in crafting venues.
Well that different. Knitters are NOTORIOUS *****es!0 -
Anyone who thinks men don't do this hasn't paid attention or doesn't work in an office full of guys :laugh:
Guys can be some the meanest to one another. Super competitive about how much weight they can lift, whatever they modded their car with last week, etc. The minute a guy wears a pink shirt or actually acts a little compassionate he is usually called out on it and mocked for being effeminite etc. How many times have I heard a guy call one of his friends a b@#$ or a pu$$y. This sort of wolf pack teasing is considered normal though, and I think when we see similar behavior in women we tend to think of it as b@#chy or catty.
I also think certain societal norms offer men more chances to compete with one another in ways that are not personal (and women are picking up these habits, I'm just saying historically this has been men only): favorite sports team, weight lifting, competing with your teammates at work for promotions etc. At my workplace in a male dominated profession, the guys are far more likely to have all male teams. They are more likely to have male peers in their group. The women here tend to be support staff and don't have a "team" or "peers" but are usually kind of by themselves. This leads to them competing with other support staff females because it's human nature and we're all competitive. But it's looked at as catty because there's really no benefit to the competition. However, the guys that are competing with their male peers are just doing so for career advancement so the same behavior is not looked upon the same way. Just my perspective.
I haven't ever experienced this and I have been on hockey teams, wrestling teams, football teams, powerlifting teams, and have worked in an office full of guys.
I also didn't know the extent to which women are mean to one another until I had a conversation about it with my wife and my mother. Apparently women do and say a lot of things that men (at least the ones I have come in contact with during my lifelong athletic career and 15 years in the workforce) would never say without expecting to get their azzes beat in the parking lot. Men tend to be straight up with one another when they disagree.0 -
Well this one is simple to answer, my son told me a long time ago Women are *****es! .............hahaha..............I got to say he is right too 0
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People in general can be mean. Maybe the thin girl needs her friend to stay heavier so she can feel better about herself. People are mean for lots of reasons, usually a fear of some sort. They both need a hug.
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Just a guess, but seems like thinner girl wants her heavier friend so stay heavy, so she's not a threat to her. Nasty and hateful, but some people are just like that. It's ridiculous.0
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i made it through the first handful of comments before I decided this thread is worthless misogynist crap.
Have a nice day.0 -
That is the saddest thing I have read...
I hope that girl learns her lesson in treating everyone with love! Being a woman is tough; being a teen girl is soooooooooooo much worse. Poor thing0 -
this is why I didn't have female friends growing up. it is nicer now that we are adults and it is easier to choose the friends I REALLY want to be with, not just a choice from a small sampling of 30 classmates.0
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I don't think it's about them being women. Men can be very mean to each other. Women can be mean to men. Men can be mean to women. Any way you cut it, a lot of people are *kitten*.0
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I hate when people generalize women as mean like some have in this thread. I am a woman and I'm not mean, petty, or nasty. Growing up, I was bullied by boys.
but they were just flirting... isn't that what mom always told us?0 -
Sounds to me like the bigger girl picked the wrong work out partner.
Maybe she hired the other girl to be a mean trainer? :huh: Some people do better that way.0 -
I still have a friend like this. She lost over 30 lbs eating like a bird and while in a size 2, she has no musclar definition and is definitely skinny fat. Not the way I choose to have my body. She still eats like **** and talks about how she isnt even hungry anymore, so she only eats like, once a day. Constantly tells me that I'm eating too much to lose weight (And I'm shooting for 1600 - 1800 calories net!)
Same friend who thinks that lifting weights will cause me to get bulky, and she doesnt want get bulky. And "too bad you just arent built to be a size 2". This chick is 5'5" and 110 lbs. Thanks, but no thanks, I'm shooting for 140-150 and looking good naked for my husband.
This made my day!!! I hope you reach your goal ;D !!!0 -
Women are not mean just because you saw one teenage girl being mean. :noway:
P.s. I thought this thread was going to be about something more exciting. :blushing:0 -
Mean people have an innate ability to find those with low self-esteem (or fear of confrontation). The bigger girl didn't have the strength to tell the mean girl to STFU or leave, and the mean girl knew it.
I probably would have said something - I've been kind of hangry lately. lol It does sound like one of those "What Would You Do" scenarios, don't you think?0 -
I can't say that I completely agree with you on this one, as it's been pretty well discussed that there's a fair bit more backbiting and ****ty, manipulative behavior that goes on among girls.i made it through the first handful of comments before I decided this thread is worthless misogynist crap.
Have a nice day.
It's certainly nothing that's inherent to women in comparison to men, imo, but has a hell of a lot more to do with culture and the way that women are told to value themselves and others. But to completely handwave anyone who points it out as being misogynist doesn't really help anything either. This sort of thing exists and has been researched. I highly recommend checking out "Queen Bees and Wannabes" by Rosalind Wiseman, for starters.
Not that guys aren't capable of being complete jerks to each other, of course, but guys are much more likely to hurt each other (especially at that age) out of thoughtlessness and stupidity rather than the sort of targeted torpedoing of someone's insecurities, especially among friends. It's unfortunate, but pretending it's not there certainly won't help anyone.0 -
Makes me sad to think of why the bigger girl continues to be friends with the mean girl.0
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^^^Those books are about teenagers, not women.
Ridiculous. There are nice women and mean women and mean men and nice men.0 -
wow . i would have not been able to keep my mouth shut what a horrible girl shame on her, I always try to encourage new people at the gym, or show them how to use proper form ect.. If they ask for advice I am happy to help.0
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Sorry to generalize... but women are just mean, evil, manipulative, judgmental ... b****es. I know not ALL of us women are, but most are in some form. It seems to get better with age... for some. It's sad really, I don't know why we do these things to each other. Woman are always meaner to other women.
Probably why I don't really have any female friends. Because I am a b****.
this!0 -
I can't say that I completely agree with you on this one, as it's been pretty well discussed that there's a fair bit more backbiting and ****ty, manipulative behavior that goes on among girls.i made it through the first handful of comments before I decided this thread is worthless misogynist crap.
Have a nice day.
It's certainly nothing that's inherent to women in comparison to men, imo, but has a hell of a lot more to do with culture and the way that women are told to value themselves and others. But to completely handwave anyone who points it out as being misogynist doesn't really help anything either. This sort of thing exists and has been researched. I highly recommend checking out "Queen Bees and Wannabes" by Rosalind Wiseman, for starters.
Not that guys aren't capable of being complete jerks to each other, of course, but guys are much more likely to hurt each other (especially at that age) out of thoughtlessness and stupidity rather than the sort of targeted torpedoing of someone's insecurities, especially among friends. It's unfortunate, but pretending it's not there certainly won't help anyone.
There's also been books published about how men are naturally inclined to rape. I invite you to read "A natural history or rape." It is also sexist bull**** that I refuse to give any validity to.
Have a nice day.0 -
I don't know, maybe it's because I'm bisexual, but I like women and men, and enjoy their company equally and respect them equally (even when I was a teenager because I enjoyed men and women the same ways). I am not in competition with other women. I value my female friendships. I like men also. There have been times in my life when I was hurt by women and by men. But, the harm I experienced from men (sexual assault) was lifelong trauma. But, I love men and do not judge other men by the few that harmed me. This is why generalizing makes no sense. I can't imagine going through life generalizing like that. But, whatever floats your boat, I guess.0
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So it stops the second that they hit their 20th birthday, and there aren't constant discussions about women in higher level positions attacking each other due to a feeling of scarcity of positions for women in the upper echelons, for instance?^^^Those books are about teenagers, not women.
Ridiculous. There are nice women and mean women and mean men and nice men.
Or another good example - completely slam the **** out of a woman that they perceive as being 'slutty?'
http://www.uottawa.ca/media/media-release-2477.html
The differences are mostly cultural and are something that we as a society can fix, but it's going to take a whole lot more strides by feminism to help us get to the level of equality where women don't feel the need to act more viciously toward each other than men do toward each other.
I think that there are a lot of times that people misinterpret this fact into thinking women are just inherently meaner, rather than being forced into it by terrible cultural status, which is really awful of course. And it's just a generalization, which doesn't actually speak to any specific individual woman, who may act very different. But it's no more sexist than it is to say that women are more likely to be stay-at-home parents.
Oh! Well, if there has been silly sexist research in the past, then all research is invalid and we can stop listening to it. You've definitely convinced me on this one.There's also been books published about how men are naturally inclined to rape. I invite you to read "A natural history or rape." It is also sexist bull**** that I refuse to give any validity to.
Have a nice day. 0 -
Are you asking this about women or teenagers?
Frighteningly often, there is no difference.0 -
So it stops the second that they hit their 20th birthday, and there aren't constant discussions about women in higher level positions attacking each other due to a feeling of scarcity of positions for women in the upper echelons, for instance?^^^Those books are about teenagers, not women.
Ridiculous. There are nice women and mean women and mean men and nice men.
Or another good example - completely slam the **** out of a woman that they perceive as being 'slutty?'
http://www.uottawa.ca/media/media-release-2477.html
The differences are mostly cultural and are something that we as a society can fix, but it's going to take a whole lot more strides by feminism to help us get to the level of equality where women don't feel the need to act more viciously toward each other than men do toward each other.
I think that there are a lot of times that people misinterpret this fact into thinking women are just inherently meaner, rather than being forced into it by terrible cultural status, which is really awful of course. And it's just a generalization, which doesn't actually speak to any specific individual woman, who may act very different. But it's no more sexist than it is to say that women are more likely to be stay-at-home parents.
Oh! Well, if there has been silly sexist research in the past, then all research is invalid and we can stop listening to it. You've definitely convinced me on this one.There's also been books published about how men are naturally inclined to rape. I invite you to read "A natural history or rape." It is also sexist bull**** that I refuse to give any validity to.
Have a nice day.
I've never experienced the things that were written in those silly, non-scientific books about teenage girls.
I recommend the book, "The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature" by Steven Pinker.0 -
It's more pathetic the overweight friend followed skinny bi+ch out of there. This is why you teach your kids to be individuals and not follow the crowd. I know its easier said than done. Sad story.0
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None of my female friends act like that. I don't act like that. And we wouldn't tolerate it from male or female friends. Why does anyone choose to be mean? Because they can, and because others allow it.
I agree. I would never allow anyone to treat me this way, nor would it occur to me to treat someone else like that. I have close, genuine friendships with several women. I also work in an office that's primarily women and we all get along great. I think some of you need to hang out with a better class of people.0
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