23 years old and never been in love..

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Replies

  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:
  • Ben2118
    Ben2118 Posts: 571 Member

    Ohhhh so to be in love one must be good looking... good to know.

    tumblr_lrubcaLhl51qlh1x8.gif
  • AhlaWahda
    AhlaWahda Posts: 189 Member
    My parents are madly in love with each other, I dont know how they do it because I suck at relationships.

    Most women these days don't like to bonked over the head with a club and drug back to the cave. Just a thought.

    This actually still happens in Tadzjikistan.. It's horrifying..
  • ron2e
    ron2e Posts: 606
    So I've been in two serious longterm relationships in which I thought I was in love but afterwards realized I was in love with the idea of love, not the person himself. Sometimes I ask people if they've been in love and how it feels. I'm curious.
    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    Is there anyone else out there who like me have never been in love?

    Sounds like me, 64 married twice, many affairs, but never been in love. Love is a temporary insanity caused by hormones. If you're lucky you develope an attachement to the other person after the initial madness. Me? Nothing would do but I had to marry my second wife, woke up 3 months later thinking "WTF???". Yes you can live with it, I've been married over 30 years because of the children now left home and we are reasonable friends, but love? Give me a break!!

    Sorry to sound cynical, but it hasn't happened so i can't believe in it.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Real love is nothing like what you see in the movies. It's finding someone that makes you want to be a better person. And when you're with them, you should feel so safe and comfortable that you know you'll be the best you can be.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love

    Exactly. Katherine Heigel should just stop making movies.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    Love is fighting and screaming at another person. Love is difference of opinions and contrasting beliefs. Love is being bored out of your mind with nothing to do. Love can be mean, brutal, contradicting, dull, and lack luster...but what makes it love is that at the end of the day, you would not change a thing that happened because in the end you are still 1000x happier with that person then without. Its never movie perfect...in fact it can suck, A LOT! But after a long exhausting day falling asleep cuddled next to my man who snores is still the only place in the world I want to be. That is what love is....

    Occasionally, love will empty the dishwasher or take out the trash, but these are not common place!

    ALSO, do not mistake being loved with being worshipped. I have friends who want guys to worship them and its not reality. I know my guy loves me, because he helps put a roof over my head and shares his daughter with me and my life. I don't need roses and kissess all the time...him sharing his life is all I need.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    I'm 93 and have never been in love..
  • wow29
    wow29 Posts: 283 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love

    +1, Oftentimes, people and movie makers, confuse love with co-dependency.

    A good love propagates you forward and makes a better version of you. It does not leave you sleepless and does not limit you.
    :flowerforyou: :drinker: :heart: :bigsmile:
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    Rom-coms are full of **** and lead to completely unrealistic expectations of love and relationships.
  • DarkAngel262
    DarkAngel262 Posts: 118 Member
    You're still very young and have plenty of time to fall in love.

    It isn't how you described in your OP. For me, I'd tell you to imagine the relationship with your best friend...then make it have passion and sexual activities mixed in.

    It might be all those things in the beginning, but if it's real lov you're going to fight, love, protect, be silly, be sick, show your best and show your worst...and they are still there LOL
  • abbyrae1
    abbyrae1 Posts: 265 Member
    it took me until my fiance to realize what love really is. i was 16 when we met, 25 when we first started dating....sometimes it takes time.
  • AhlaWahda
    AhlaWahda Posts: 189 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    Yes, this is my idea of everyday love.. I sure would want that someday.
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
    When you can poop with the door open.
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 801 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love


    Exactly. Katherine Heigel should just stop making movies.

    What?! No! I love Katherine Heigel
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    your gorgeous, i am shocked,.

    :noway: Ohhhh so to be in love one must be good looking... good to know.

    Yeah... that's exactly what they said. DERP.
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 801 Member

    Ohhhh so to be in love one must be good looking... good to know.

    tumblr_lrubcaLhl51qlh1x8.gif
    :smooched:
    Lobbe
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    I didn't have any clue what it was like to really love someone until I was 21, and started my three-year relationship with my ex. Before that I had had desperate crushes, but nothing ever came of them. With my ex, though, it *did* feel like a movie. I did feel like I was walking on clouds sometimes, and my heart did ache like it had never ached before, and while I never had trouble sleeping, I definitely was infatuated to a degree that it was unhealthy. But I've never been happier in my whole life. I wanted to get married and have children and plan out my whole life with her. Unfortunately, it was that blind infatuation that made me unwilling to realize that we actually were a horrible couple. We tried, and tried really hard, but at the end of the day we just didn't fit.

    Now, with my current boyfriend, I feel as if I'm more comfortable and open with him, but that magical feeling is gone, and I probably won't ever get it again. Love is a drug, and I was on it for three years... it's a hard thing to go without. And I know my ex feels it hard too. Now don't get me wrong, I *do* love my boyfriend, and in a lot of ways he's way better for me than my ex ever was. But there's nothing quite like that giddy lovedrunk feeling.

    The good thing is? You're more than likely to experience it at some point in your life. The bad news is, it may not be with the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with...
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
    [/quote]

    Exactly. Katherine Heigel should just stop making movies.
    [/quote]


    ^^^^ I've never agreed with anything more
  • ron2e
    ron2e Posts: 606
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    Damn,now I'm really depressed, think I'll go and get a couple of Big Mac meals.............................................................

    Only joking, I've found love, it's myself. I love the new me that I'm gonna be when I escape this fat stranglehold :happy:
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    Yes, this is my idea of everyday love.. I sure would want that someday.

    One day it will happen for you and you will be the Ahla Wahda for a very lucky man out there! :wink:
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love

    Exactly. Katherine Heigel should just stop making movies.


    ^^^^^^ I've never agreed with anything more
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Hey, no, sorry - my husband and I have never ever yelled or screamed at each other. That's not love, that's disrespect. We have arguments and disagreements, but they're handled calmly and maturely, because there's no way either of us would be with someone who would yell at us.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    When you can poop with the door open.

    Hahaha! Gross, but very true :P
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    When you can poop with the door open.
    hmmmmm....I am in love and I still don't like this! I do pee with the door open though!
  • AhlaWahda
    AhlaWahda Posts: 189 Member
    It's funny that everything you write about love, is exactly my idea of love as well. Because I realize love has many faces..
    Laying sleepless with aching heart is just one example of young love..

    I've lived with my ex for many years. Met him when I was 15 and he was 26 and shared everything together.. We were engaged bla bla. We did everything you write.. Fighting, loving, traveling, cooking, discussing.. well everything a normal couple do... I grew to have feelings, a deep attachment but nothing like love.. Anyone who could give me what he could give, could replace him you know.. It wasn't anything special about him.. So it's not only about the things you do because you can share everything with whoever you want.. But the feeling... that's another story..
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    Hey, no, sorry - my husband and I have never ever yelled or screamed at each other. That's not love, that's disrespect. We have arguments and disagreements, but they're handled calmly and maturely, because there's no way either of us would be with someone who would yell at us.
    really...wow....yeah, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wouldn't yell. Its proven that if you don't fight its worse than if you do!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    This essay by Ann Landers should be required reading for anyone considering a relationship. It tells you all you need to know. I read that when I was a young girl, years (and years) ago. It is as true now as when I read it in 1976.


    Is It Love or Infatuation?

    Infatuation is fleeting desire -- one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

    Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Love is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you -- to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know he is yours, and you can wait.

    Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

    Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

    Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

    Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's being unfaithful. Sometimes, you check.

    Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy.

    Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

    Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
    your gorgeous, i am shocked,.

    love, not lust....

    Exactly. People get that confused a lot.
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
    There's a great article in this month's Women's Health that discusses how women need to grow out of the "fairy-tale-princess-waiting-for-prince-charming-to-come-and-save-them" mentality.

    Don't wait for love to come and save you and do not expect the person you love to be perfect.

    "Oh my dream guy would never leave the toilet-seat up, he's must not be the one!"

    If you hold every guy you enter into a relationship with to the Ryan Gosling standard they will always come up short - manage your expectations for what love is and you'll be able to find it in the most common of places.

    I would start by quitting the comparison of your love life to rom-coms.