23 years old and never been in love..

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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    My Mom gave me the best advice of my life when I was younger.

    There are no such thing as soulmates. You're going to "fall in love" and you're going to fall out of love with the same person. This can happen multiple times over the course of a relationships and marriages. It's how you deal with each other in those times you're not in love. You need to decide what you're going to put up with, how much and for how long.
  • Yeah, movies are full of crap. It's the day-to-day stuff you have to be able to hack. At first, you're all stupid and giddy around each other. But that fades. Once that fades, if you still like each other, you might have something to work with.

    It's also important to note that not all love is created equal and not all loves last a long time. That's okay. Enjoy it for what it is. And that soulmate crap? No. There are seven billion people on the planet. There are plenty you can enjoy spending time around, or even experience love with. That whole notion that there is only ONE person with whom you can enjoy some happiness is ridiculous.
  • TheMattyExperiment
    TheMattyExperiment Posts: 178 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?


    You're in for a world of disappointment.

    ^ This

  • When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That is called twitterpation, not love.

    epic!
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    I love my dogs and cats... Does that count?

    They never fill up my car in the middle of the night, but then, they always like my cooking, never yell at me, and poop with the door open.
  • heagler870
    heagler870 Posts: 280 Member
    I'm 24 and never been in love. Plenty of time, I'm not worried about it..... Right now anyway.
  • jcjsjones
    jcjsjones Posts: 571 Member
    Love means never having to say your're sorry........for pushing a hot fart under the covers
    Hahaha! I hate to say it, but it's true!!!

    To the OP:
    You will know when love finds you. It's just easy. You are considerate of each other. You are comfortable around each other (note quote above..lol). Love shouldn't be hard, even when life is hard.
  • When I say love I mean that I've never been infatuated or had a crush on anybody! I had a crush once when I was like 7 years old...
    So maybe I'm immune or not capable? :-) I used to think I can't love.. That's what my exes told me.. I have a heart of stone bla bla.
    But I'm not searching and I don't worry anymore. I'm used to being alone and I like it. If my "destiny" is to live alone then okay. At least I have my family and they're everything to me.

    Same! I'm also 23 and never been in love. Im happy just being by myself for the time being.
  • stonerollin42
    stonerollin42 Posts: 7 Member
    Oh man, all these people saying, "Don't give up, I didn't meet my SO until I was..." and they're all younger than me! Yikes. I'm starting to feel behind the curve and I'm only 27...
  • kwilliams386
    kwilliams386 Posts: 156 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    does he have a single brother??
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love

    doesn't that describe indigestion?
  • jcjsjones
    jcjsjones Posts: 571 Member
    I love my dogs and cats... Does that count?

    They never fill up my car in the middle of the night, but then, they always like my cooking, never yell at me, and poop with the door open.

    Of course!! My doggy is my "furry child". She listens better than my human children..lol!
  • alishacupcake
    alishacupcake Posts: 419 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love

    doesn't that describe indigestion?

    Sounds more like a stroke to me...
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    I.WANT.THIS :sad:
  • TheLuSir
    TheLuSir Posts: 1,674 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    Nice try, guy. We all know who you really are. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nicholas Sparks!
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    I have been with my husband for 11 years. I always knew he loved me, but I didn't realize how much he loved me until I was in the hospital after having a c-section with our first daughter. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain. He took me to the restroom, cleaned me, gave me a bath (and if you have ever had a baby, you know why this isn't fun!) dressed me and was so patient and loving with me. He stayed up all night with me.

    ^ this is love.

    I will wake up in the morning (very early) to go to work knowing that when I got home the day before I was out of gas DREADING filling up gas in the cold *kitten* weather. I will step into my car and notice that he filled it up for me in the middle of the night so I wouldn't have to fill gas in the cold *kitten* weather.

    ^ this is love.

    He told me I was the most beautiful woman when I was at my highest weight, even though he met me at my lowest weight.

    ^ this is love.

    We fight (lord do we fight) but we always end up okay because we know there is no other choice.

    ^ this is love.

    He cooks for me. I cook for him. Even if we think the food needs more salt, we still eat it.

    ^ this is love.

    I scratch his back at night before we both fall asleep because he loves it. Even if i'm tired as hell. And I will tell him i'm tired as hell, but I still do it.

    ^ this is love.

    If there is only one french fry left. He will give it to me.

    ^ this is love.

    Watching him love our kids.

    ^ this is love.

    He loves my family like they are his own.

    ^ this is love.

    I love his family like they are my own.

    ^ this is love.

    I really cannot imagine my life without him even though i want to kill him sometimes.

    ^ this is love.

    I can go on and on...

    Love is more than a feeling. It is actions. It takes a lot of experience with someone to really know what love is. It can be the biggest pain in the *kitten* sometimes, but it really is the most wonderful thing. :heart:

    Nice try, guy. We all know who you really are. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nicholas Sparks!

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Nope, just a girl with an awesome husband. :bigsmile:
  • AhlaWahda
    AhlaWahda Posts: 189 Member
    Haha but Nicholas Sparks seems to know a thing or two about love.. I bet he's a good husband xD
  • Sweetestthing87
    Sweetestthing87 Posts: 276 Member
    I am 36 and never felt love from another woman. I've had lots of stalkers, though.

    You are the male version of me. LOL Well the last part anyhow.
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    So I've been in two serious longterm relationships in which I thought I was in love but afterwards realized I was in love with the idea of love, not the person himself. Sometimes I ask people if they've been in love and how it feels. I'm curious.
    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    Is there anyone else out there who like me have never been in love?

    I was brought up without the privilege of having to dare accommodate the chance of "falling in love," (strictly disallowed) so in short, knowing of the difference between a sense of duty to breed and expand via "the benefits" of an arranged marriage, for a deeper and a bigger purpose (purist heritage ideals- the preservation of an identity/customs) over your own developed senses of desire and needs (personal choices), there are distinct differences.

    To love is a choice; And being in love is about selflessness .. To love him wholeheartedly, without an iota of restriction, with a sense of a deep-seated comfort and familiarity, framed with certainty and assuredness, less the puffy, walking on clouds, loss of appetite out of lust and the "thought love" reactions - the romanticised pop culture commercialised portrayals of love - although it can and does happen like that - for some - just not the end all and be all expression of love all the time. Love is defined by your willingness (voluntary) to sacrifice some essentials of what defines you, which you'd otherwise never ever dare give up - for/because of him - when you're clearly in love. Love is the acceptance and the openness to receive pain from that one person - you love, with the forebearance to forgive him still.

    Inasmuch as many encourage "love-trips" (the fantasy) - many can not see its lack or poignancy, for life presents the learning curve to enable or disable one's ability to recognise how love is perceived, interpreted and distinguished.
  • LauraAshley95
    LauraAshley95 Posts: 70 Member
    Like a lot of people have said, don't look for love. A lot of people shoot me down because of my age, but I'm 17 going on 18 and met my boyfriend at the age of 13. We've been together going on 5 years here in May, and I've never been closer to anyone in my life. I don't feel like I need to keep anything from him, and he has made me a better person than I was 5 years ago (of course part of that was just growing up). But our meeting was pure coincidence, so don't go trying to look for someone to love. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. When you're with them at the beginning it might be something like head in the clouds, but it's much better once that stage is over and you both just work together as a team and better yourselves together.
  • 37434958
    37434958 Posts: 457 Member
    I've been in love only once in my life, and the loyalty and love feelings were from both sides, totally, and they never changed! ... We love each other tons


    ^_^

    Wish u the best luck! And hey, God is waiting for the perfect time, perfect day, perfect everything to show you your man.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    Love as depicted in popular media is very similar to pizza delivery in a porno...it doesn't happen exactly that way.

    Your definition of love will likely change before it actually hits you. Before I met my wife I was convinced the whole idea of marriage was a joke. Love meant something completely different to me. Meeting her completely changed that. Just live your life...if you meet enough people, you might meet one that will help it all make sense. That will be love.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member

    When you watch romantic comedies you get an idea of what love is like but I'm still amazed.
    Is it really like you're walking on clouds, can't sleep or eat, your heart aches etc.?

    That isn't love

    This.
  • Ghkffb56
    Ghkffb56 Posts: 263 Member
    I fell in love at 13.. the age that parents say you cant and blah blah.. w/e anyway He is My bff. we have broken up made up . Moved to different states... all that good **** and cupcakes!.. but at the end of the day.. i cant live with out him! he is meh world.. yea yea sap ****.. i know. going on 24 years old here and i have never been with anyone but him..


    So you will know when you do fall in love :).. and you wont see it coming at all ~.^"
  • When I was younger i had the whole " i can't live without you" kind of love thing,I feel like i gave my heart to too many different guys;/ but when it came to getting married i found my best friend, my feelings are stable no rollercoaster no up one day down the next, I'm secure and trust him. I know he will always be there for me and he respects me. He loves me regardless. I don't have to hide my feelings and can be myself, same with him. Love seems to be a feeling everyone experiences differently and it always happens when you don't expect it or in some cases don't want it.
  • lenniebus
    lenniebus Posts: 321 Member
    Oh man, all these people saying, "Don't give up, I didn't meet my SO until I was..." and they're all younger than me! Yikes. I'm starting to feel behind the curve and I'm only 27...

    LOL...I was 35 before I fell in love fer real. I thought I was in love at least twice before that (married one of them even) but I was definitely in love with the idea of love, which to me means I loved who I wanted them to be not who they really were. The difference between them and my husband is night and day. What we have started off as me smiling all the time, butterflies, skyrockets, etc., and eight years later is EVEN BETTER...he makes me smile :)...not ALL the time...but a whole lot of the time :).

    Hang in there...
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Haha but Nicholas Sparks seems to know a thing or two about fairytales.. I bet he's a good husband xD

    Fixed it for ya.
  • PilotX
    PilotX Posts: 233 Member
    My parents are madly in love with each other, I dont know how they do it because I suck at relationships.

    Most women these days don't like to bonked over the head with a club and drug back to the cave. Just a thought.



    outstanding sir
  • I'm 23 and have never even been in a real relationship. And I don't really care. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to go looking for it. I'd rather focus on myself and achieving my goals.
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    Someone, possibly Oscar Wilde, said that everyone should be in love twice. Once we should love the other person more than they love us, and once we should be loved more. Not only does this seem right to me, it's also a good reminder that love is different every time. There are no defining elements.

    I am no expert on relationships, although I know a lot about failed ones. But I do know that love is nothing like you see in romantic comedies. For me, it's all about liking someone all the way through, and that doesn't happen very often. And it's about finding someone whose neuroses fit neatly with mine.

    I would say "you'll know it when you experience it" but that might not actually be true. I would just encourage you to keep your heart open and not spend too much time wondering if "this is it."