The Side of Weight Loss No One Talks About
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everything, my obsession of counting calories, saying "I cant eat there, (even though I can, but my issue is it sets off issues with eating "bad" foods) obsessing now that I am skinny that I will wake up fat, exercising allllllllllllllllll the time! Afraid of gaining a pound, I believe I have created me somewhat of a food disorder. I am still learning how to cope with the new me, I have never been a size 3-4 my whole life, I walk 13-15 miles a day, I am addicted to my fitbit and competing on the leadership boards.......sagging skin is the worst, lost all this weight and no way I can rock a bikini or skimpy shorts..........I am not crazy although I may sound like it here
it is truly a lifestyle change and by god it is hard, being surrounded by crap all the time. oh and I AM TIRED!
You have done a great job, but if this is what maintenance is like, maybe I'll just keep my extra 30 and be reasonably happy!0 -
Realizing that the only reason you got fat in the first place was to disappear. Then as you lose the weight, you lose a great protective shield and have to deal with the many things you were hiding from.
This, and when you lose weight you gain a lot of attention. I'm not comfortable with this, not sure I ever will be.0 -
Fat girl issues. I still see myself as big in certain outfits or photos and anyone else thinks I'm absolutely crazy. Confidence doesn't come free with weight loss!
This! When everyone's totally complimenting me on that strapless dress...all I can think of is how I need to work my triceps harder :S0 -
Some styles of clothing stop working on you. Even in the right size I've found that some of my wrap dresses and A line skirts look awkward on me now.
Since I started weight training, my bikini looks much better though, so I'm not complaining
Wrap dresses look HORRIBLE on me!
Me too!!! But then again wrap dresses never really looked good on me no matter what i weighed.
Actually after keeping 30 lbs off for 4 years I finally bought new jeans - 32s. I kept wearing my old 36s just cuz I wanted to remember how much I had lost. I'm still using the same belt, it's a little more than a 1/4 of the way around a 2nd time.0 -
How much ongoing work and diligence it takes to maintain your weight loss.
Everyone is always happy/excited to hit their goal weight. I was no exception. But, I had a hard time stopping the 'weight loss' mentality. It was scary to up my calories and eat at maintenance levels. And it's been very hard work over the past 16 months to keep my weight at 135 (+/- 5 lbs). Focusing on maintenance will probably be a lifelong commitment for me.
I totally agree. I know maintaining will be a lifelong commitment for me, and sometimes that thought is too much to bear. I have to get that thought out of my head as soon as possible, and just try to focus on one day at a time.0 -
That, unless your problems really are caused by weight, they'll still be there whether you're fat or thin.
Also, having yo-yoed in the past, I'm f'king pissed that I didn't see myself as thin when I actually was.
THIS 1000x!
I was initially scared to lose my weight (for the second time in my life) because if I do, there will be nothing to blame my problems on! It was only recently that I decided it has to be done.
...and on the subject of being thin before. I did that and I was gorgeous, but I ONLY saw the SAME FAT GIRL. I was miserable. I look at pictures of "her" now and I only wish I knew what I had!0 -
I takes a long time to think like a thinner person after losing weight. You are stuck on "fat thinking" mode.0
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sleeping is hard0
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If I get to my goal weight, which is really more about lean body mass, my husband will probably leave me. He's an amazing guy, he's not a jealous, crazy control freak, but he preferred me chubby. I would like to be a bit muscular. It makes him sound terrible, but if I was fat when we got married (5'4", 230 lbs), and then I become lean and muscular, was it false advertising?
I already weigh less than I did on our wedding day, and I'll be having a baby any day. I'm not giving up my healthy habits, not even for love.
We shall see what happens....0 -
Who is complaining? I've got a great butt now, it can only improve from here. However, the shape of my body is the shape of my body, and I need to be realistic when setting goals. I can get fit, I can drop body fat %, but I can't change genetics.
I'm with you there. The women in my family all have the "Buker Butt." I'm self conscience of it, but I found a man that really likes my shape, so I'm learning to love it. :-) I've just got to stick with it and be healthier all around.0 -
When I was no longer the fat friend, my skinny friends started making crappy remarks about what I ate, how I ate, when I ate, how I exercised, when I exercised, where I exercised.0
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That it really IS hard to lose those last few(few being relative) pounds. Ok so maybe they talked about it, but I didn't believe it.
That while people congratulated you when you went from a size 16 to a size 14, no one really wants to hear about you trying to go from a size 6 to a size 4. It's better to say you are just working on "toning and firming" rather than that you still want to lose more weight.
People think nothing of asking extremely personal questions about your weight loss!
yes!! It was all 'oh wow, you look great' when i went from size 14 - 10 yet now that im trying to enter the near single digit size numbers I either get no comment at all and mean stares or the 'why? you look just fine the way you are?" Like its all for vanity at this point.
I also get the whats your secret? and when I say just eating like a normal person and exercise they look at me like ive lied to them. They forget I used to be BIGGER than them and I really did used to eat a lot for a normal person.0 -
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For me, the worst was the realization that my doctors were wrong about many things. Losing the weight didn't help my fertility issues, and didn't improve my back pain. I'm not less tired, I don't have more energy.
On top of that, it's realizing that I'm still a fat girl at heart, and will always need to count calories and be careful of what I eat.
And my in-laws constantly asking how much I've lost. I know they're trying to be nice, but I've always been private about my weight.
In the end though, it's worth it. I find it is easier to get promotions, and people take me more seriously at work. Clothes fit better, and I do have more self-esteem.0 -
If you maintain your weight, overweight people will act as if they're the only ones who deserve attention because you obviously have had it so easy. You "just don't understand" what they're going through.
If you're at a low weight that's healthy for you you're on the verge of anorexia.
This is a general statement assuming that everyone overweight thinks and feels the same assuming that everyone skinny has it easy. I can assure you that 99% of the people I have met here on MFP do not feel this way. Sure, I will agree that there are SOME overweight people who believe that skinny people have it easy, as there are SOME skinny people who feel over weight people are lazy slobs. We should not feel that these "general" statement about peoples sizes are true. Its like says that all men are cheaters and all women are gold diggers.
Being overweight is just as hard as maintaining your weight. They are both and hard emotional path we all have to take. We are the creator of our own success. :flowerforyou:0 -
Shrinking bra size, being in between sizes, baggy skin, getting cold easier. Wouldn't trade any one of them.0
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You learn a lot about your friends. Sometimes people have been including you in your life because of low self confidence... When you are no longer the "fat friend" you might lose some of the mean girl friends, or the *kitten* you didn't realize was an *kitten* because he can't have you under his thumb anymore. (happened my first weight loss)0
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For all of those individuals who are buying new clothes all of the time in new sizes and spending A LOT of money, have you ever tried yard sales or thrift shops? You can get some really nice stuff for a fraction of the cost.0
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It's hard to shave bony knees.
It's hard to sleep on your side, because of bone on bone, bony knees!
You really do NEED to buy new clothes because they look like bags on you.
Some people will resent you.
Some people will assume that your new lifestyle is temporary and that you will gain it all back and then some.
Some people will tell you that you are 'thin enough' already.
Some will say you are obsessed with exercise.
Sex is better!
You will get compliments, take them and say thank you!
Tailbone pain due to loss of my fat *kitten*. Now biking sucks..
I can no longer set my coffee mug on my stomach that was right under my boobs, or I guess I mean where my boobs used to be.
I go to bed aching every night, but it's kind of a good ache, most of the time.
You will cringe when you see other people's grocery carts filled with utter crap. Yeah it's not your business but you still feel sorry for them.
You will be shopping for food constantly because none of it is prepared, pre-packaged, frozen and already made. Fresh stuff goes bad quickly. Frozen fruits and veggies are ok though.
You will savor every single bite of food and will discover that carrots actually taste sweet and seafood tastes salty without adding salt!
You will be able to wear your seat belt on your LAP, where it belongs, instead of over your fat gut and internal organs. It's also safer and causes less injury in accidents. (former medic and FF here).
Skin will sag and you may look older. Dislike.
Some people drop a shoe size. I walked/jogged/ran/biked over 1,000 miles last year and my feet actually grew from a 7 to an 8. LOL
You will discover that workout clothes, running shoes, etc. are expensive but soo worth it!
You love to sweat.
You get depressed if you can't exercise.
You learn to plan before going out to dinner. You look up restaurants online to find a healthier choice and learn to ignore what other people think or say about your choices.
You get LOTS of advice from other 'dieters' who have not yet discovered that it is a lifestyle, not a DIET. The latest one I heard was that you should shrink your stomach so you eat less.
You will see a lot of strange things while you're out walking/running. I have had raccoons chase me, dogs, creepy people stare and yell stuff (please ignore them), I have found used condoms (yuck), peoples 'addiction' trash such as non-winning scratch off lottery tickets, Big Gulp or any fast food trash, empty liquor bottles, cigarette butts & empty packages, 'chew' in water bottles, etc. I think that road kill is the nastiest.
You will also see a lot of wonderful things while you're out and about. Enjoy those.
If someone sees you eating a 'treat' they will say that you're going to gain all of your weight back or ask if you're off your 'diet'.
You will have tons of energy and will be asked if you have ADD.
You will only get 'exercise' gifts for your birthday and Christmas. I'm loving all the under armour.
You may experience skin yeast infections, blisters, callouses, thigh chafing, plantar fasciitis and knee pain.
You'll take a LOT of showers.
You'll gain self confidence. I always thought this was bs, but I did, I think because of the extra energy I had and knowing that I looked better.
You find out that not everyone wants to hear about your weight loss, healthy foods, the 5k you signed up for, how excited you are about your HRM or new running shoes. Some people feel intimidated about it or just plain don't want to hear that from you ALL the time. Don't be offended. Remember to listen to other people. That's what friends do.
Ok, I think I've added enough. lol
LOVE THIS!!0 -
The fear of actually seeing change. Knowing I want to lose the weight, but mentally I feel like its not actually going to happen.
OMG I feel the same way!! As the scale numbers go down I feel at some point it will stop and no matter what I do I will stay the same. I've been OW my entire life. I don't have a single memory or picture to look back on and say "I want to be like I was then." so I feel like it's never going to happen because I've never been there.0 -
I'm absolutely terrified that I will work super hard to reach my goal weight and then be less attractive than I am now.0
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Being colder all the time. That and that weight loss isn't the 'end' of it. It's much more complex than that. There are plenty of other aspects to the whole 'process' that I had no idea about such as toning, nutritional education in general.0
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Realizing that the only reason you got fat in the first place was to disappear. Then as you lose the weight, you lose a great protective shield and have to deal with the many things you were hiding from.
This, and when you lose weight you gain a lot of attention. I'm not comfortable with this, not sure I ever will be.
That is SO TRUE! I feel safe being invisible...I'm just tired of being feeling invisible to the only one who matters...my husband.0 -
There are the good things that make me happy, and I try to enjoy each of them. I can reach around to clasp my bra and it doesn't hurt my arthritic shoulder anymore. I can lay on my stomach...and its perfectly comfortable! I can curl up in a ball, with my knees to my chest, and there's something oddly comforting about that. :happy:0
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When you fail and gain it back..and then you feel stupid going public with your effort to lose weight again. I feel like people look at me like I'm not going to be able to keep up with it..0
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Time to find new friends!0
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When I was no longer the fat friend, my skinny friends started making crappy remarks about what I ate, how I ate, when I ate, how I exercised, when I exercised, where I exercised.
Time to find new friends!0 -
The emotional side effects that come when you stop allowing yourself to eat as a coping mechanism.... Unpleasant feelings and issues come out And you have to face them
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
THIS. In spades.0 -
As I'm going through my weight loss journey, I'm realizing there are so many things that people don't talk about. I thought I heard it all, but the reality is until you go through it - you know nothing.
What's something that you learned in your weight loss that no one talks about?
I haven't read the other responses yet, but for me it was how the heck do you do maintenance?! The weight loss part is only a few months long, maintenance is going to be 40+ years for me. But, there's almost NO resources out there-no books, no blogs or websites, no guru out there talking about how to do it. I really wish there was more discussion about transitioning to maintenance and how to do it long term. No wonder there's a 95% failure rate with long term weight loss success :frown:0 -
Totally AGREE!!!! It's even worse when u plateau and you just can't get passed that hump. Ur so addicted to the great feeling of "I hit this milestone" and then.....ur stuck...and ur stuck for 2 weeks...and then u go up a pound....and then u go down a pound....and ur stuck again!!!!
I HATE when this happens.0
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