The Side of Weight Loss No One Talks About

ilmb87

The mental part of losing weight has been the most challenging for me. It's all about wrapping your head around your new image and trying to fight the body dysmorphia.

I'm not even at my UGW, and I'm already dealing with this. I still feel like I should be shopping in the plus size section.

Also, always so cold! Thank God it's getting warmer now.

NWMomof4

I have gone throught that too! The attention from the same males I've been friends with or worked with for years is completely different now that I've lost weight. I love them but resent them at the same time! Ugh!

TLWallperson

How differently I would be treated.I kind of resent it sometimes.

I'm the same person with the same personality and the same brain.

Yet I was with the same company for 14 years and didn't get any of the promotions I put in for until I lost weight.

P.S no longer with that company and have a much better job!

Have had this happen as well. Makes me angry that other people don't see me or aren't even nice when I' m heavier, but that changes when I am thinner. I still deserve respect no matter what size I am because, like you said, I am still the same person, with the same brains and the same personality.

keelerangela

You bet your sweet *kitten* if and when i lose the weight i wanna lose.. that I will be getting a tummy tuck and it will all be for vanity! Lets be real ya'll.. yes we all want to get healthy and that is a big motivation but we all want to look good too! So saying you don't want to get a tummy tuck for vanity's sake... yet you lost 100 lbs b/c you were sick of being fat, sick of looking a certain way.. is the same thing. We are all guilty of being vain at times

My biggest hurtle is fear.... fear of actually being skinny.

kcritter77

Also, having yo-yoed in the past, I'm f'king pissed that I didn't see myself as thin when I actually was.

There are no words for how I feel about this. The best way for me to accurately describe how much I agree would be to bash my head on my keyboard and then hit reply.

Yep. This. All the way.

slipandsink

I lost weight off my feet.

All my shoes are a size 6 - I am now a small size 5. I have to buy all brand new shoes

Also - not being sure whether you've lost inches or if you're a size smaller because the store is using vanity sizing...

Mareebzz

I expected my clothes to shrink but nobody told me my feet were going to shrink! I went from a 9.5 to an 8.5, maaaybe 9. Not a huge difference and I can get away with wearing my old sneakers and flats, but heals had to be replaced because I stepped out of them when walking.

Another experience I had – and this could just be my experience and not happen to everyone – was that, while nobody talked about my weight when I was at my heaviest, once I started losing the flood gates opened and nearly everyone suddenly thought it was ok to comment on my weight. I didn't really mind, none of it was negative and I have always been happy to share my experiences and encourage others to do what makes them happy, but it did sort of become the only thing people would talk about and there is more to me.

Yup, all of this happened/is happening to me now. All my size 9.5 and 10 shoes flop off my feet, I'm an 8 or 8.5 now. And the comments from people - ugh. You wouldn't believe what some of them say. I'm the talk of the office now. Most of what people say to me is positive, but some of it just plain sucks - like "You're getting too skinny and I'm worried about you." Really? Most of these people barely even frikken know me. I'm sure they are NOT worried about me, just being nosey. "Someone mentioned in a meeting that you had lost alot of weight..." OH so y'all are talking about me behind my back, in meetings where you're supposed to be working, no less? NICE! :ohwell: I wasn't prepared for some of the comments, but I've been managing them pretty well I guess. I'm trying to take the positive and leave the negative, but I do still get pissed off at what people say sometimes. No matter what they say, I am happy where I'm at now and I feel better than I have in years!!! They can't take that away from me. :happy:

purplesora

People telling you how to eat. Not even just hearing "you need to eat more" from mom, or all the concerned looks when I eat a normal portion of food instead of getting massive portions, but my biology major friends telling me what to eat or what they think is good or bad for me. I've done my research, everyone, I promise :grumble:

qsusanevans

Being afraid to buy new clothes that fit because in a few months they won't fit so nicely. I hate to waste money, but I also hate looking homeless when I wear my worn out, three-sizes-too-big clothes.

Too true. Got my jeans belted in but the bottom is baggy! But NOT buying any new ones until I drop a bit more weight

I buy all my clothes at thrift shops till I reach my goal.

Froody2

The glazed look in people's eyes when you start explaining how you've lost weight (sensibly, slowly and with no magic pill or stupid restrictions), after they've raved about how good you look.

Without fail they'll tell me about how their best friend lost huge amounts of weight using the latest fad diet. Like, WTF am I supposed to say to that?

wendybird5

The glazed look in people's eyes when you start explaining how you've lost weight (sensibly, slowly and with no magic pill or stupid restrictions), after they've raved about how good you look.

Without fail they'll tell me about how their best friend lost huge amounts of weight using the latest fad diet. Like, WTF am I supposed to say to that?

A million times this!

People get surprisingly upset if you tell them you lost weight the normal, healthy way that we've always been told to lose it. And even when you are doing well, people will still try to get you to switch to their gimmick fads anyway because they know it's better than your way.

arcticfox04

Loose skin

metacognition

1. When some parts of your body get so bony / hard you think you've lost too much weight. And other parts are still kind of wobbly. It's weird!

2. All the stares you get on the treadmill and in the weight room, and from random males. This after being single for years with almost ZERO interest no matter how well you dress or makeup you wear.

3. The almost complete lack of shyness and increase in forwardness / confidence once you get fit
It's like somebody switched my brain out. Personality traits that I once thought of as hard wired and genetic are mostly gone.

4. How much I actually enjoy fruit and whole grain now. Dean Ornish's recipes used to repulse me a bit; I'd think "rabbit food" for a lot of healthy stuff but most of it makes my mouth water these days.

5. How little you crave junk food when you avoid the highly refined stuff with high sugar and fat.
Even overdoing it isn't a problem anymore. I "binged" today. Fortunately for me it was on about 250 calories of vitamin rich sweet potatoes. It's going to go straight to my butt. Oh wait, it's not.

6. Inertia. If you exercise every day, it's easy to keep going. If you take one or two days off, it's like turning on a lazy gene - your body gets used to the inactivity and wants to stay that way.

7. Cold intolerance. Not such a problem in the Spring, but I have invested in fuzzy socks and velvet pajamas.

8. Insulin spikes. I'm actually aware when I've had a lot of sugar without fiber or protein to slow down digestion ! How fast the hunger sets in later is a surprise, given the number of calories. Never would have noticed that before!

9. Every day I wake up thin it's as a result of about 1000 choices I made in the 300 days prior. Consistency is boss.

10. There is no end to eating healthy and exercising.
It's steady state maintenance, like doing the dishes or dusting.

11. When you start to get down to lower body fat levels or boost your arm lifts you'l start to see bigger veins in the hands and forearms. These magically appear during activity and vanish the rest of the time.

12. I'm not a thin person. I'm a naturally fat person who eats less and exercises religiously to maintain an artificially low, healthy weight.

13. Nobody will tell you how genetic quirks will affect your weight loss. I always wanted a 26" waist and thought they looked small. i didn't know that to drop to a 26" waist as an apple shape, my weird hips would first drop to around 30." Now to get an hourglass look I need to lose even more. Good news is that my hips can't get much smaller.

14. You'll pick out slim clothes in between sizes only to find out at the slim size that the neck to back measurements or chest placement is totally wrong for someone so thin.

15. A lot of clothes are vanity sized, so there's no telling what you'll wear.

16. Depending on where you store fat, a lot of women's jeans will get baggy in bizarre places.
I had to move down to a junior / girl's plus 14/16 for the best fit since they tend to be small at the hip, large at the waist, and petite.

17. Some clothes will never look good on you, no matter what your weight.

backpacker44

How differently I would be treated.I kind of resent it sometimes.

I'm the same person with the same personality and the same brain.

Yet I was with the same company for 14 years and didn't get any of the promotions I put in for until I lost weight.

P.S no longer with that company and have a much better job!

This is a big one for me. Years ago when I had lost 20 lbs and reached my "ideal" weight, I started receiving more and more attention from people who previously would barely acknowledge me. It was nice at first but then I really began to resent it after a while because as the the above poster pointed out, I was the same person w/same personality etc....

I agree. I'm getting attention from men I've been friends with for years. I'm still the same person as I was, and you didn't care about me then, so basically it's just because I was overweight that you didn't pay attention to me. I resent that.

trumpkat80

I can relate!!! I lost 23.5 inches in 2 months & went down 2 cup sizes!!! I was happy at first, I no longer feel like a Dolly impersonator & can wear any shirts I want.... but I'm still adjusting & don't want to lose more.

blackcloud13

Not sure if its a coincidence - but I feel cold a lot more - especially my hands/fingers - they stay cold for ages! this never used to happen.

Also, looks as if I lost weight a bit too quickly for my skin - its still adjusting to my smaller gut!

If you go too fast, you end up trashing muscle as well as fat, as well as being tired a lot of the time, instead of more energized.

Other than that - its been great!

badgerbabs

Actually, most of these have already been covered. Just adding my perspective. Some of this I learned during an earlier weight loss success (that didn't take), some of it is from my current weight loss.
- positive attention from people who didn't care before. Made me mad and resentful at one time. Now it just makes me resolve to be kinder to people regardless of their physical appearance.
- smaller feet. You bet. Helluva shock the first time around, tho. I thought they were just making shoes smaller.
- feeling more graceful. Love it.
- LOVING buying smaller clothes. I almost always shop at thrift stores now. I actually learned this after a house fire when I had to replace all my clothes. I bought one really nice, brand-new outfit, and suddenly realized that I DID NOT want a closet full of brand-new clothes. Look for thrift stores close to the better neighborhoods. Amazing what people will give away. I find brand-new with tags clothing all the time. Recently I've hit a run of Coldwater Creek clothing (which I love). Depending on how much you have to lose, you may replace your wardrobe a dozen times; I sure can't afford to do that at retail! Thrift stores make it SO much more affordable, and you're supporting a good cause to boot. Then when you move down to the next size, you take the clothes that don't fit any more, donate them back (in one case here, the store gives a 20% credit toward any purchases you make), and pick out a brand-new (to you) wardrobe. What could be better? My "new" clothing purchases pretty much consist of bras and panties, and the occasional wardrobe staple that I couldn't find at the thrifts.
- and yes, the saggy skin. I will never have a bikini body, either. But then at age 60, I wouldn't be buying one anyway...:bigsmile:

I also have a dear friend who is also a member of MFP along with me. She is smaller than me and has become a regular provider of what we've started calling "hand-me-ups." Amazing! Wish I could do the same for her.

diolpah

How people will treat you differently. I wasn't prepared for how people treat me. To this day. I work with a lot of morbidly obese and overweight people and I'm the outcast because they don't know I was once obese.

Also, extra skin. If only I knew in the 80s (when I lost my weight) what I know now! sigh... lol

Very strange. I was going to post exactly the opposite. Specifically, that I work hard and sacrifice inordinate amounts of delicious gluttony, and nobody notices or gives a ****.

I've never been particularly externally-focused, but a *tiny* bit of recognition would be nice.

Oh well. At least I'm finally healthy.

stephaniemejia1671

I wasn't completely aware of how hard it was going to be to commit to getting healthy. The meal planning, the workout planning, the workouts, the cooking... It's not JUST about "I'm going to the gym 3 times a week."

tjl2329

You lose weight they think they know when you should stop. They become jealous and say your not a certain size when you are wearing that size