What makes a girl intimidating?

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  • phoenix_59
    phoenix_59 Posts: 1,123
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    to me......not a thing!
  • rockangel8907
    rockangel8907 Posts: 429 Member
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    I think a common trend here is that shy and/or tall girls come off as intimidating. I have been told many times by guys that I am intimidating and that is why they don't approach me. But they can never tell me WHY they thought I was intimidating. At my age it is hard for most to believe that I have only had drinks bought for me a few times in my life. I don't purposely attempt to appear intimidating so I think it is just my shyness and being a bit tall for a woman. To counteract this I hardly ever wear heels, but it doesn't seem to matter. I can't change my inherent shyness in social situations.

    Guys, what is the worst that can happen? A woman says she is involved with someone? Or not interested? Some men act like that is the worst thing in the world but what if that girl you are afraid to approach is the perfect match for you? Now you've lost the opportunity to meet by not talking to her. I bet most of the women you think are unapproachable or intimidating are just waiting for someone to talk to them.
    I get the same excuse....I'm tired of it, I'm not intimidating...I am shy I rarely do the approaching, I'm too afraid to be rejected.
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    whatever I do or look like must be, since not many men have approached me in my life time :bigsmile:
    I don't think my hubs would have approached me either if it wasn't for a mutual friend that got us talking :P
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Instead of worrying if and why a guy thinks you are intimidating try stepping up and be willing to reach out yourself.
    I thought we were supposed to be beyond all this "he has to chase me" stuff.
  • LauraJo08
    LauraJo08 Posts: 219 Member
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    From my experience, I am intimidating for three main reasons, some of which have been echoed here:

    1. I am tall. Yes, I am 5'10, yes that is 1 inch taller than the average american male. I also don't date guys shorter than 6 ft, so whatever. I think that it works to me advantage in terms of the type of guys that approach me because I have found from talking to male friends that guys who only date really shorter girls most likely find physical domination necessary in a relationship, and I have no interest in being with a guy who finds it essential to be able to overpower a woman.

    2. I can run farther/lift more that many guys. Yup, I'm an athlete, and I can keep up with the football players training for their pro days at my bootcamp gym. I refuse to lower myself to boost the egos of men. If that intimidates them, fine.

    3. Intelligence. However, just like #1, it weeds out the ****ty matches. I start med school in the fall, and at bars I quickly learned to say "grad school," My friends in law school have the same experience. Women entering fields with positions of power are intimidating, but if a guy doesn't care for that, then I would never consider him anyway.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    what about an even 6ft tall gent?
  • buffybabe
    buffybabe Posts: 180 Member
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    I want to know as well. I have been told more than once that I was intimidating...
  • admanMike
    admanMike Posts: 371 Member
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    A girl who does not smile or make eye contact.
  • phoenix_59
    phoenix_59 Posts: 1,123
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    a man should never be intimidated by a woman....better check your testosterone levels fellas
  • DebRHCP
    DebRHCP Posts: 8 Member
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    Not typically intimated approaching a female. I actually find it a challenge to approach one that gives off the "I'm too good to talk to you vibe"

    Shouldn't be such of a game, but at times it is.


    Why would you even want to approach a girl that gives off that vibe?!!?!?
    Im the queen of giving off that vibe. Im really shy and dont like embarrassing myself in public. If someone can break through my wall Im very friendly. Just because someone looks stuck up, doesnt mean they are.

    omg same thing with me soul sister

    Me too. People think I don't like them because I tend to be quiet around new people and it is hard to get to know people if they think you don't like them. :(
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    My profile says it all.
  • ThisGirl2013
    ThisGirl2013 Posts: 220 Member
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    I find that covering myself with spikes and leather is a good way to keep the boys at bay. And the ones that aren't intimidated by that are exactly the kind of guy I'd like to get to know.

    *YES*!!!
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
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    I'm really just too scared to say
  • icmuse
    icmuse Posts: 263 Member
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    a girl that is a badass with an awesome sense of humor and lots of smarts

    ^^^ exactly!:wink:
  • amazon35
    amazon35 Posts: 98 Member
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    One of my favorite quotes:

    "There's something about a woman who wants you but doesn't need you" :heart:

    THATS THE ANSWER!!!! And for me i'm 6ft! HA but the funny thing is short men LOVE ME have no issue what so ever! Go figure
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    Guys, what is the worst that can happen? A woman says she is involved with someone? Or not interested? Some men act like that is the worst thing in the world but what if that girl you are afraid to approach is the perfect match for you? Now you've lost the opportunity to meet by not talking to her. I bet most of the women you think are unapproachable or intimidating are just waiting for someone to talk to them.

    Well, now I’ve got two voices going on in my head. One of them agrees with you. After all, the worst that can happen is you just end up in the relationship status you were already in.


    However, on multiple occasions during in my younger years, I was actually the one being approached (I can’t believe I found it annoying back then). So the other voice is screaming out “Well that’s easy for you to say! By this paradigm, you’re just fielding the men make an approach, just like the information kiosk in a mall. There isn't as much invested on your part. HE is the one who has to build himself up, develop the initiative, make the approach and then, after already making all that effort on behalf of one specific girl, risk getting turned away.”

    That’s where the matter of “what the last girl said” comes into play. If a guy keeps building up his energy, only to be shot down time and again, it gets tiring, just like any other failed endeavors in life. Sure, you can pick yourself up and try again, but sometimes you get to the "that's enough for now" point and take a break. The annoyance of dealing with unwanted approaches was much more fleeting than the ego beating of approaching a woman and knowing that, to paraphrase a movie, I had been weighed, I had been measured, and I had been found wanting.


    That’s why I think many of us go to the “just talk to them” approach. Back in college, I was frequently thwarted by the “boyfriend back home” situation, so I used the “just casually talk” method as a way to sniff out long-distance boyfriends. If they had one, I would continue to be my awesome self, but she had to dump him before I would apply for the position. But the issue remains that, if you look like you don’t want to talk, I’m more likely to approach someone who does.


    I have a similar issue of being intimidating. On my first day of High School back in 1998, my lab partner was worried that I was a big bruiser. I was over 6’ tall, probably near 200lbs, and I’m not always the most talkative person. But pre- and post-class talks, plus a few other shared classes turned into playing chess at lunch, and we’ve been friends ever since. What I learned is that, now I’m 6’2”, 230 lbs, and have probably a gruffer image courtesy of the military (I’ll stare down just about anybody), it is important for me to send out occasional “sonar pings”, if you will. I’ll make a passing comment about something on the television or something happening nearby and see if anyone responds. When I greet people, I’ll ask “how are you doing today” and actually respond to their answer. All of this is a great way to start small talk, but I recognized I needed to take that action so people could understand “hey, this guy’s open to talking, and he’s not going to bite my head off.”
  • Maryaly40
    Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
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    bump
  • nyssalynne
    nyssalynne Posts: 22
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    Guys, what is the worst that can happen? A woman says she is involved with someone? Or not interested? Some men act like that is the worst thing in the world but what if that girl you are afraid to approach is the perfect match for you? Now you've lost the opportunity to meet by not talking to her. I bet most of the women you think are unapproachable or intimidating are just waiting for someone to talk to them.


    That’s where the matter of “what the last girl said” comes into play. If a guy keeps building up his energy, only to be shot down time and again, it gets tiring, just like any other failed endeavors in life. Sure, you can pick yourself up and try again, but sometimes you get to the "that's enough for now" point and take a break. The annoyance of dealing with unwanted approaches was much more fleeting than the ego beating of approaching a woman and knowing that, to paraphrase a movie, I had been weighed, I had been measured, and I had been found wanting.


    Points well taken and appreciated.

    Something to consider...if a man keeps getting shot down when approaching women could it be the type of woman he is choosing to approach or maybe his method of communication?

    Opinions? Thoughts?
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
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    She is beautiful when I am not. :ohwell:
  • nitrogen_widget
    nitrogen_widget Posts: 92 Member
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    Women with big bulky purses intimidate me.
    Those things can hold tazers. :)

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