MFP not helping or showing support, just being rude!

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Replies

  • browneteach
    browneteach Posts: 11 Member
    I agree whole heartedly! People are inconsiderate at times, don't let them get you down, there's lots of us on here that are here to help and support each other!
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    So please, from a new MFP member, please go easy on us. If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

    Honestly......In my time here....I have not seen this......If I am just missing it please point me in the general direction. Generally what happens is a little more like this.


    1) Person a creates a thread about cleansing/1k cal diets/raspberry keytones/etc......
    2) Person b posts a dr oz gif
    3) Person c says that it is not a good idea and posts peer reviewed studies showing there is no benefit/etc.....
    4) Person a tells person c to mind their own business and not to post unless they are going to support/agree with them
    5) Persons d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k back up person c and tell person a the right thing(s) to do
    6) Person a decides that everyone is attacking them, the site it full of mean people and they are leaving........but not before they report persons c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k.


    Most of the time if you ask a question and are generally looking for help/good information you will find a lot of knowledgeable people ready to help you.....Just be prepared to hear something different than you would expect/believe to be true.






    M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person
    Ice cream afficionado
    "Winning" Certified Instructor
    > 1 Year Consecutive Logging
    Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
    jac-mr-mfp-o.gif
  • wbfd22
    wbfd22 Posts: 65 Member
    let me start by saying

    I DO NOT support 1200 cal diets

    that being said

    a lot of my MFP pals pals are doing it and some of them are having great success.

    I dont support every method

    but I do support your efforts

    I think you should do what works for you, I started out on 1200 cal and learned quickly it was not an easy or long term solution. Like you said it IS a starting point for people and I applaude you for starting.

    That being said if you are a sensitive person than dont spend so much time in the forums. Find a group of like minded people (search groups) and there you may get the support you are looking for.

    If you come into the forums posting about 1200 diets and WLS expect to get bashed and rude responses. However, you can choose to ignore those and focus on all the positive responses you will get.

    Also re evaluate what your definition of rude is. Some people are REALLY passionate about diet and fitness, to the point where all out cyber fights break out. There is name calling and heated moments. I like to think it is because they care about your health and dont want to see you go down a road faced with failure. The flip side is people are just rude sometimes. You have to deal with it.

    That being said I hope your 1200 cal diet truly is a starting point for you and that you research the site some more for other caloric options. Most people loose weight just fine on 1500-1800 a day, but again, do some research and see what feels right for you.

    Good luck.

    I am just starting and that has been the hardest part for me. I am making a huge effort everyday to change my lifestyle around, so thank you for supporting the efforts!! Just to clarify, I didn't say I was on a 1200 calorie diet or that I posted in those threads. I was using the two popular threads from the weekend taht talked about 1200 calorie diets (both pro 1200 and against 1200) as examples of how heated the threads get and how people react and talk in the discussion.

    And incase you didn't get to read the entire thread (it's longer than I ever expected), I never said I was called names or rude to. I was referring to some of the things I've read on here. I have thick skin, I can take it. I know some people cant, and I can't believe how people talk to others on here. I feel for the people who are asking honest questions and having their head bitten off because of it.

    Being passionate is one thing. But being out right rude is another. I'm a mom, a hockey player, heck I'm a Toronto Maple Leafs fan...I've taken my fair share of passionate posts on many blogs, websites and in person. I was hoping to open some peoples eyes to how they answer questions on here.

    Regardless, I made a whole group of new supportive friends today, so that makes me happy.
  • fvolley
    fvolley Posts: 124
    I really have to say that all this stuff is getting old. I was never ever once offended by the 1200 calorie post. Even though I started my dieting at 1000 calories a day AND I was successful at it. I wasn't offended because he was simply trying to help the people who were constantly posting about 1200 calorie "unsuccessful" diets or people who were having trouble at that point.

    I am however somewhat offended by this post because I feel as if everyone has their panties in a bunch because they took something someone said the wrong way. I read and re-read everything and I really hardly ever see people truly putting other people down. I have had a lot of people help me out on this website and I love it here.

    You claim that the 1200 calorie post and ones like that are taking away from this site, but aren't you technically doing the same thing by posting a topic against them as well.?
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member

    It happens all the time. Here is just a short list of the names I have been called -

    Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten*.
    Yes, but only by Clark Griswald.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    I am just starting and that has been the hardest part for me. I am making a huge effort everyday to change my lifestyle around, so thank you for supporting the efforts!! Just to clarify, I didn't say I was on a 1200 calorie diet or that I posted in those threads. I was using the two popular threads from the weekend taht talked about 1200 calorie diets (both pro 1200 and against 1200) as examples of how heated the threads get and how people react and talk in the discussion.

    And incase you didn't get to read the entire thread (it's longer than I ever expected), I never said I was called names or rude to. I was referring to some of the things I've read on here. I have thick skin, I can take it. I know some people cant, and I can't believe how people talk to others on here. I feel for the people who are asking honest questions and having their head bitten off because of it.

    Being passionate is one thing. But being out right rude is another. I'm a mom, a hockey player, heck I'm a Toronto Maple Leafs fan...I've taken my fair share of passionate posts on many blogs, websites and in person. I was hoping to open some peoples eyes to how they answer questions on here.

    Regardless, I made a whole group of new supportive friends today, so that makes me happy.

    You check out the links to the threads posted on page 8/9? Those are the threads I believe you are talking about.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    There are jerks on here. They are everywhere, just like in the real world.

    If you post something, there's going to be backlash...some good...some horrible. It happens.

    Oh, I've been called a troll, but let it drip off me like water on a ducks back.

    Weed through the rudeness, there are some people genuinely trying to help you.

    :bigsmile:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member

    It actually happens all the time and often the OP won't even listen to those who do have experience with the product. I went into a thread about Slimquick, which I tried back in the day. I told the OP that I had no results from it. She ignored me and kept narrowing the field of people she would take advice from: only women (ok, that's me also), only women with medical conditions (I also fit that bill), only women with medical conditions who tried the product in addition to diet and exercise (*raise my hand*), only women with medical conditions who tried the product in addition to diet and exercise and who also have children (lost me there, so my advice wasn't any good).

    Indeed. There were several links posted that displayed that very experience. Also, a shame she didn't take your advice in specifics, Amber. You've got your **** down when it comes to health stuff! <3

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
    I agree, when I first came to the forums, just a few months ago, I was amazed that the vast majority of posters seemed to be unsupporting and preachy. I mean I thought the reason people were on a fitness site were to be fit and to encourage fitness. It seems there are some helpful individuals, with great intentions, who genuinely want everyone to succeed, there are some individuals who do not care if you succeed or not and only want their ego inflated, and there are some individuals who simply want to make themselves feel better; choosing to do so by attempting to insult or belittle others. Unfortunately it is the latter of those that post frequently, until they are banned, and thus cause others to be skeptical and overly judgmental of everyone's comments. As far as where someone was not "rude" and it is just not anothers misinterpretation, I see that quite often. I do see unnecessary rudeness as well, I have chimed in to a few threads and because I have "old fashioned" beliefs (you know be polite, hold doors, pay for dates, offer assistance simply to be helpful, those pesky things that seem to no longer happen for fear of offending someone by implying they can't do it by themselves) I have been ridiculed and quoted followed with "all the signs are there" indicating I am trying to be dishonest or hurtful in some manner, and yeah it was unnecessary. I think the MOD's do a fairly good job in sending out warnings, ...apparently you can't correct someones spelling when they are calling you an idiot (who knew). I do think the forum rules should depend on which forum you are in, but that is a whole different thread. Personally I don't mind people starting a topic that has already been "talked to death" because you never know when someone will shed some particular point of view that suddenly "clicks" and makes it clearer, and really, if everyone used the "Search" button prior to posting a topic there would be no new topics as everything has already been discussed at some point and time.

    Have a successful day, and may you reach all of your desired goals.
  • cherylatkwechanged
    cherylatkwechanged Posts: 479 Member
    Hi

    I'm so sorry if people have had negative experiences on here, I allways try to give honest and positive feed back if anyone wants to add me please do so x
  • bunnymum150
    bunnymum150 Posts: 311
    surround yourself with good people and you will do well as in all aspects in life. Who has time for those whom chose to belittle others and have no compassion or patience for the newbies. Take the good and leave the rest. Best health to you!:heart:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Haven't seen any actual examples of rudeness given yet...but have seen several in this thread alone calling people names which seems at least a little rude to me.

    Interesting, no?

    ETA: And I suppose if I quoted all of the names used, *I* would probably get a strike. (A year ago, I would have done it anyhow. Guess I'm learning.)
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Haven't seen any actual examples of rudeness given yet...but have seen several in this thread alone calling people names which seems at least a little rude to me.

    Interesting, no?

    Shhhhh! We're not supposed to call them out on it. That'd be RUDE! And not supportive, either.
  • wbfd22
    wbfd22 Posts: 65 Member
    @quirky....I read the first link and actually laughed!!
  • dokme
    dokme Posts: 31
    I was always told growing up there is no such thing as a stupid question. And it is sad that people have to bully and make fun of people because they are not sure how to do something or just need a bit of good words to motivate you. Don't let those who are being rude ruin this for you just ignore them and keep on doing what your doing.
  • JohnMessmer
    JohnMessmer Posts: 536
    Haven't seen any actual examples of rudeness given yet...but have seen several in this thread alone calling people names which seems at least a little rude to me.

    Interesting, no?

    You probably won't either. Those occurrences are pulled and the violators are warned/suspended/and then banned for repeat occasions. So you will not be able to see anything that shows an open and shut case of it, unless someone has taken a screenshot before the MODs get to it.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    @quirky....I read the first link and actually laughed!!

    Yeah, some of them are pretty funny!

    I just fail to see where any of the responses in any of those threads were rude - at least not until the poster lost their **** and starting screaming.
  • nokanjaijo
    nokanjaijo Posts: 466 Member
    Newbies are too sensitive and the old timers take themselves too seriously. It's an explosive cocktail, that.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Anyhow.

    sG6oj.gif
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
    So please, from a new MFP member, please go easy on us. If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

    Honestly......In my time here....I have not seen this......If I am just missing it please point me in the general direction. Generally what happens is a little more like this.


    1) Person a creates a thread about cleansing/1k cal diets/raspberry keytones/etc......
    2) Person b posts a dr oz gif
    3) Person c says that it is not a good idea and posts peer reviewed studies showing there is no benefit/etc.....
    4) Person a tells person c to mind their own business and not to post unless they are going to support/agree with them
    5) Persons d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k back up person c and tell person a the right thing(s) to do
    6) Person a decides that everyone is attacking them, the site it full of mean people and they are leaving........but not before they report persons c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k.


    Most of the time if you ask a question and are generally looking for help/good information you will find a lot of knowledgeable people ready to help you.....Just be prepared to hear something different than you would expect/believe to be true.






    M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person
    Ice cream afficionado
    "Winning" Certified Instructor
    > 1 Year Consecutive Logging
    Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
    jac-mr-mfp-o.gif

    :drinker:
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
    I was always told growing up there is no such thing as a stupid question.

    I think someone lied to you.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    ahh yes another MFP is rude thread..this one should get good before lt rolls over and locks up ...

    I try to be helpful to everyone..but if people start saying outlandish moronic things about "starvation mode" "converting fat into muscle" "cleansing diets" "fad diets, etc..then I have to get a bit wise assish ....

    and please don't start a thread with I saw it on Dr Oz....I know the guy is a genius but come on...

    Oh, and a little sarcasm/wise a$% is actually amusing..or so I say...
  • slroggemann
    slroggemann Posts: 168 Member
    So please, from a new MFP member, please go easy on us. If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

    Honestly......In my time here....I have not seen this......If I am just missing it please point me in the general direction. Generally what happens is a little more like this.


    1) Person a creates a thread about cleansing/1k cal diets/raspberry keytones/etc......
    2) Person b posts a dr oz gif
    3) Person c says that it is not a good idea and posts peer reviewed studies showing there is no benefit/etc.....
    4) Person a tells person c to mind their own business and not to post unless they are going to support/agree with them
    5) Persons d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k back up person c and tell person a the right thing(s) to do
    6) Person a decides that everyone is attacking them, the site it full of mean people and they are leaving........but not before they report persons c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k.


    Most of the time if you ask a question and are generally looking for help/good information you will find a lot of knowledgeable people ready to help you.....Just be prepared to hear something different than you would expect/believe to be true.






    M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person
    Ice cream afficionado
    "Winning" Certified Instructor
    > 1 Year Consecutive Logging
    Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
    jac-mr-mfp-o.gif

    :drinker:
  • telam1186
    telam1186 Posts: 14
    Then they should just not answer, if they're fed up. Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    The *kitten* are out and free there is no shutting them up or making them see that they are in fact *kitten*. Ignore them, newbies should all visit http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/912920-in-place-of-a-road-map-3-2013?hl=road+map, will help I promise (sorry to all of you who hate when ppl post this) Dan knows his **** and the road map is helpful!

    wan't this cited by the OP as something that drives her nuts? Yet you go and post it anyway..LOL
  • cryswest57
    cryswest57 Posts: 141 Member
    Unfortunately, this is this problem with the internet. It is not "real time" where we speak face to face. Generally, I do a lot of internet researching when I want to know something. Afterwards, if I'm still not sure then I ask on one of these forums. I'm new myself. I really wish people would speak the truth with love as well. We can warn people about potentially dangerously practices without being rude. I haven't seen name-calling so much as elitism.
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
    Then they should just not answer, if they're fed up. Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

    What colour is ignorance?
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Haven't seen any actual examples of rudeness given yet...but have seen several in this thread alone calling people names which seems at least a little rude to me.

    Interesting, no?

    You probably won't either. Those occurrences are pulled and the violators are warned/suspended/and then banned for repeat occasions. So you will not be able to see anything that shows an open and shut case of it, unless someone has taken a screenshot before the MODs get to it.

    Exactly...which support the assertion that the MFP mods/staff do not tolerate actual rudeness (or at least a certain type of rudeness. Blatant rudeness in response to an idea of general rudeness seems to be much better tolerated.)
  • ThisGirl2013
    ThisGirl2013 Posts: 220 Member
    Anyhow.

    sG6oj.gif

    Exactly
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Welcome to Internet forums, where the same questions have been asked 10,000 times. The search function is your friend.

    Research ->Implement->Experiment->Succeed. Seems most just want the success without that pesky "work" getting in the way.

    Amen ..everyone wants results in two weeks...sorry that is not going to happen..

    you can detox for ten days and lose ten pounds and then cry foul when you gain it all back the following week ....
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