MFP not helping or showing support, just being rude!

tryinghard71

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

Not all new people know there is a search feature. And if the "old timers" are "fed up" seeing the same questions repeated time and time again, then why are they even bothering to respond in the first place?!?!?!

Being "fed up" doesnt mean they have to respond. "Old timers" need to remember that they were once new here too!

Perhaps they should just ignore the post rather than give their "snarky" attitude to someone that is asking an question in order to learn. I'm tired of your so-called "old timers" acting like they own the place and give demeaning responses to threads they shouldn't even bother answering.

People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.

:drinker:

TravisBikes

If you really really have problems. look for this thing next to their name


And then "Ignore User"

Problem solved.

gammols

totally agree!

JesterMFP

People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.

The thing is, there is no universal standard of what "nice" or "polite" means, and "nice" does not necessarily equate to kind, helpful or supportive.

TomTomato

While I haven't really experienced this here, it's just the way society is. IMO, in general, we've become more rude and impatient. We are so used to instant access to whatever we want, we hate to be inconvenienced or delayed. We no longer have to fast forward or rewind a tape to hear our favorite song. We don't have to shoot a whole roll of film and wait for it to be developed to see the pictures we want to see. The internet provides cover for those who want to hurl insults and spew hate. But that's just the way it is. I grew thick skin and try to treat others the way I want to be treated even when it's not reurned in-kind. Don't let others get you down. I wish you the best.

quirkytizzy

I'm eating 700 calories a day! "I completely support your decision."

I'm not going to eat for 30 days! "I completely support your decision."

I'm cutting out every food group I can think of! "I completely support your decision."

I'm doing a juice cleanse/not eating for a week/trying diet pills! "I completely support your decisions."

That site would be useless to all of us. This is what some of you want. It's baffling.

emiliewright

I wildly agree with this post.

I am reluctant to communicate very much because I am not the best or the brightest when it comes to fitness, but hey- somehow I lost a ton weight..

Sometimes I feel like if you are not on MFP to flirt, you don't get much support.

I'd love to encourage and support you, feel free to friend me!

JerseyGirlinTN

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

Not all new people know there is a search feature. And if the "old timers" are "fed up" seeing the same questions repeated time and time again, then why are they even bothering to respond in the first place?!?!?!

Being "fed up" doesnt mean they have to respond. "Old timers" need to remember that they were once new here too!

Perhaps they should just ignore the post rather than give their "snarky" attitude to someone that is asking an question in order to learn. I'm tired of your so-called "old timers" acting like they own the place and give demeaning responses to threads they shouldn't even bother answering.

People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.

Thank you.

And here's my gripe with the 'search' function: If nobody is asking new questions - even if they HAVE been asked before - there's no forum.

UsedToBeHusky

I'm going to be amused when you "newbies" are in a thread like this a year from now and defending yourselves against the 2014 Resolutioners batch of "y u so mean" threads.

emiliewright

While I haven't really experienced this here, it's just the way society is. IMO, in general, we've become more rude and impatient. We are so used to instant access to whatever we want, we hate to be inconvenienced or delayed. We no longer have to fast forward or rewind a tape to hear our favorite song. We don't have to shoot a whole roll of film and wait for it to be developed to see the pictures we want to see. The internet provides cover for those who want to hurl insults and spew hate. But that's just the way it is. I grew thick skin and try to treat others the way I want to be treated even when it's not reurned in-kind. Don't let others get you down. I wish you the best.

THIS!!

quirkytizzy

I'm going to be amused when you "newbies" are in a thread like this a year from now and defending yourselves against the 2014 Resolutioners batch of "y u so mean" threads.

Nah. They'll never tell someone else that not eating for a week is a bad idea. That'd be rude. And unsupportive. And they certainly won't be emphatic about it, either.

They won't have anything nice to say, so they just won't say anything. And that newbie will go on and damage themselves. But they'll at least feel "supported" through it.

KenosFeoh

Well in my experience there are SOME rude people however, most 'rude' people are simply giving advice that the op doesn't want to hear or doesn't agree with and magically those people then become 'rude'.

That's not quite accurate. It's in the delivery. Two people can give essentially the same advice, but one comes across as snarky and condescending, the other as thoughtful and supportive.

vim_n_vigor

Where do all of you live? I honestly don't find the forums to be a much different mix up of people than what I run into in the real world.

cicisiam

I am new to MFP. I'm not new to exercise or diets or calorie counting.

I joined MFP to put the numbers in front of me. To hold myself responsible for what I put in my mouth and how hard I sweat. I wanted to learn from other peoples mistakes, read posts, get pointers and make friends. I would love to reply to some threads or ask questions when I'm unsure, but some of the things I've read are just outright rude. If someone is asking a question, it's because they don't know the answer and they are seeking an answer from other health and fitness buffs. They aren't looking to be called names, to be made fun of, or to be bullied. You discourage people, like myself, from wanting to put ourselves out there to ask the questions.

The debates over 1200 calories or not is a prime example of what I'm referring to.

So please, from a new MFP member, please go easy on us. If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

Amen to that! Unfortunately some people no matter how nicely you state the obvious will continue to make the wrong choice so we need to be strong enough to let negativity bounce off us like water on a duck's back, and just move our focus back to the positive.

quirkytizzy

Where do all of you live? I honestly don't find the forums to be a much different mix up of people than what I run into in the real world.

Cheers. I'd love to live in a world where I can admonish strangers for not being nice enough.

UsedToBeHusky

I am new to MFP. I'm not new to exercise or diets or calorie counting.

I joined MFP to put the numbers in front of me. To hold myself responsible for what I put in my mouth and how hard I sweat. I wanted to learn from other peoples mistakes, read posts, get pointers and make friends. I would love to reply to some threads or ask questions when I'm unsure, but some of the things I've read are just outright rude. If someone is asking a question, it's because they don't know the answer and they are seeking an answer from other health and fitness buffs. They aren't looking to be called names, to be made fun of, or to be bullied. You discourage people, like myself, from wanting to put ourselves out there to ask the questions.

The debates over 1200 calories or not is a prime example of what I'm referring to.

So please, from a new MFP member, please go easy on us. If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

Amen to that! Unfortunately some people no matter how nicely you state the obvious will continue to make the wrong choice so we need to be strong enough to let negativity bounce off us like water on a duck's back, and just move our focus back to the positive.

I want to adopt you too! :drinker:

LoraF83

Well in my experience there are SOME rude people however, most 'rude' people are simply giving advice that the op doesn't want to hear or doesn't agree with and magically those people then become 'rude'.

That's not quite accurate. It's in the delivery. Two people can give essentially the same advice, but one comes across as snarky and condescending, the other as thoughtful and supportive.

But it's also about perception.

I know that some of the people described as "rude" appeal to me - because I percieve their tone as being blunt but honest and intelligent. And that's the type of people I like.

Just because you perceive them differently, doesn't make them any less valid.

cindiva65

Ive seen quite a few responses in forums that I would consider "snarky" for a better word. Ive been around for awhile too and post occasionally.

I can see how us oldies can get tired of seeing the same posts over and over, but then again if you see a post titled "1200 calories and not losing" and tired of those types of posts why are you clicking to read it and leave a snarky comment of "oh no not another one" or "rolls eyes" etc. Ive seen that many times. If its a subject that Ive read to death or feel I can't help with I pass it over.

I think some people just like to stir the pot for fun and some are here to be helpful and others here for genuine help. That's the craziness of the internet though...kinda like a box of chocolates....ya never know whatcha gonna get.

Good luck to everyone on your goals

wikitbikit

While I haven't really experienced this here, it's just the way society is. IMO, in general, we've become more rude and impatient. We are so used to instant access to whatever we want, we hate to be inconvenienced or delayed.

To be fair, this can just as easily be said about the individual asking the question. We've become so used to instant information, we've forgotten how to research things for ourselves.

sherrirb

People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.

The thing is, there is no universal standard of what "nice" or "polite" means, and "nice" does not necessarily equate to kind, helpful or supportive.

You are right. There is no standard anymore, everything is "relative" these days.

moustache_flavored_lube

I'm not touching you

jezzi16

HIPPO"D

*****es just be hungry.

bluefox9er

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

actually, MFP encourages asking the question even if it has been asked previously.

LoraF83

People should remember the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". If you don't agree with something, you can say it in a polite manner.

The thing is, there is no universal standard of what "nice" or "polite" means, and "nice" does not necessarily equate to kind, helpful or supportive.

You are right. There is no standard anymore, everything is "relative" these days.

Everything has always been relative.

There have always been blunt people, smart people, nerdy people, needy people, nice people, mean people, honest people, dishonest people, etc. And people have always had preferences about the type of people they liked or didn't like. That's why/how we have always chosen mates, friends, clans, etc. It's all about what's relative. That's what makes us human.

tryinghard71

And on the flip side , there are a load of stickied threads above for Newbies to read, so that they understand how MFP is designed to work.

And a search function.

I would recommend any new people to take the time to read those stickies, and also try searching first before asking a question, as many of the rude answers are because old timers are fed up of seeing the same questions repeated time and time again.

So if people do a bit of reasearch, they can find their answer without getting a "WTF not this question again!!", which could put them off asking next time they have a question.

actually, MFP encourages asking the question even if it has been asked previously.

I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad because they asked a question instead of looking in search. When I was new I did not know what the search was even for. I was just trying to figure things out.

sherrirb

I'm eating 700 calories a day! "I completely support your decision."

I'm not going to eat for 30 days! "I completely support your decision."

I'm cutting out every food group I can think of! "I completely support your decision."

I'm doing a juice cleanse/not eating for a week/trying diet pills! "I completely support your decisions."

That site would be useless to all of us. This is what some of you want. It's baffling.

Quirky, the thing that you are possibly not considering is how many of the posts with ^^ these type of statements are made by people that are actually making fun of other people's posts, but I dont see REAL posts in this manner.

I see people posting, "I'm considering this, has anyone tried it? Your thoughts on it?" I do NOT see people wanting validation for things like you've posted above.

_SusieQ_

Why do people continue to get their panties in a bunch over a words on a screen? Seriously, some people are asshats and say rude things and think they are funny. But most of the "rude" ones are really just trying to give sound advice albiet sometimes with sarcasm.

If you get your feelings hurt so easily by strangers on the internet, stay off the forums. Or just laugh them off and take the advice you really want to hear anyway.

quirkytizzy

I'm eating 700 calories a day! "I completely support your decision."

I'm not going to eat for 30 days! "I completely support your decision."

I'm cutting out every food group I can think of! "I completely support your decision."

I'm doing a juice cleanse/not eating for a week/trying diet pills! "I completely support your decisions."

That site would be useless to all of us. This is what some of you want. It's baffling.

Quirky, the thing that you are possibly not considering is how many of the posts with ^^ these type of statements are made by people that are actually making fun of other people's posts, but I dont see REAL posts in this manner.

I see people posting, "I'm considering this, has anyone tried it? Your thoughts on it?" I do NOT see people wanting validation for things like you've posted above.

I do, all the time. "Please don't post unless you have experience in this", often for methods that are absolutely dangerous or completely useless. Also when being told "No, and here's why that won't work." Rude is often the next post of the OP.

Melroxsox

ive been here a long time, and dont judge others so harshly. you're unfortunately finding all the wrong people;) feel free to add me:)

homerjspartan

If we are posting something that is wrong, don't say we are stupid, don't call us names, just politely correct us so we can see the kind of success we are hoping for. Isn't that why we are all here?? To see success??

Has anyone actually called you stupid? What names have you been called?

It happens all the time. Here is just a short list of the names I have been called -

Cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-*kitten*, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey *kitten*.