My husband is boycotting my cooking...

upgetupgetup

Hmm so all your POSSIBLE problems are his fault? There is no POSSIBLE way that you are just hearing one side to the story and he might paint a different picture altogether?

Ok I missed the nuance here myself, so, cutting you some slack: He is REFUSING TO EAT DINNER because he doesn't like the food. Even if OP's horrible (and honestly she sounds amazing, no way I'd ever garden) - is that what a grown up human does?

Maybe his dinner was a massive pleasure in his life, something he looked forward to. Maybe it was one of the reasons that he loves his wife so much "My wife's cooking is fantastic!" He boasts to his mates "I look forward to her dinners every day". Life is tough, work is hard, every day is a battle. Eating nice foods is a simple pleasure that helps get through the day......

....And she has suddenly taken away that pleasure

If that's the case, he could have found a more respectful way of expressing his displeasure, or, working around it. Again - his response shows he doesn't take responsibility for his emotions. He is trying to punish/guilt her, and causing himself suffering in the process. And probably enjoying it a bit.

No matter what's going on on the other side.

I doubt he's cleaning her car.

upgetupgetup

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

It's okay. If the troll is a woman, let her get the crappy men-children out there. It takes at least one of them off the market and she gets to be the "little woman" who feels validated because she has a man (even though it's a man NONE of us would want!). If it's a man-troll, then he probably IS a man-child that can't get a woman to take care of him. Either way, it's not a problem. :laugh:

Fine with me if either's true, lol!

Ayla70

SHE??? Holy gods...I assumed the troll was a bloke...

Wow so many selfish women on here. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

It's selfish to expect a man to act like a grownup and not a petulant, ungrateful child? Wow. WOW.

Please tell me you're trolling...

I think the sad thing is that she's not...it's because of women like her tht men get away with this ****.

upgetupgetup

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.

Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?

My0WNinspiration

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

It's okay. If the troll is a woman, let her get the crappy men-children out there. It takes at least one of them off the market and she gets to be the "little woman" who feels validated because she has a man (even though it's a man NONE of us would want!). If it's a man-troll, then he probably IS a man-child that can't get a woman to take care of him. Either way, it's not a problem. :laugh:

Was this supposed to be an insult? LMAO

Biitchstix

In reply to: my0WNinspirat

If you read the post she is still cooking for him and feeding him 800-1000 cal meals. He can either eat what she makes him or get up and make his own thing. That's kind of how it is in my house, just the reverse. If my mom makes a 'fatty'/unhealthy dinner then my parents eat that food and I come downstairs later to make my own dinner. I'm not a child and am not dependent on someone else to feed me. Neither is this woman's husband.
By the sounds of her post she is trying to be reasonable and listen to his wants while taking her own health into consideration. He seems unwilling to compromise and is insisting on acting like a spoiled child. If my boyfriend ever treated me like that AFTER I tried my best to cook something that we'd both enjoy I'd probably slap him (and honestly I hope he'd to the same to me if I ever acted that pathetic.)

AlongCame_Molly

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

It's okay. If the troll is a woman, let her get the crappy men-children out there. It takes at least one of them off the market and she gets to be the "little woman" who feels validated because she has a man (even though it's a man NONE of us would want!). If it's a man-troll, then he probably IS a man-child that can't get a woman to take care of him. Either way, it's not a problem. :laugh:

Wonderob

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Christ is it 'Old school' to want to make your husband happy? I'm hoping your husband does stuff just to make you happy too - is that old school?

I go through some bizzare eating phases when I'm at different stages of fitnes regimes. There have been times when I have eaten raw eggs. Times when nearly everything I ate was chicken. When I make my wife dinner at these times I don't subject her to my particular eating habit of the moment and say "Eat it or make your own"!

I make her something she likes because I want her to be happy - isn't that what wives/husbands do???

Lunira

He's an adult and is more than capable of making his own meals. If he doesn't want to eat what you cook... well, he can either fix his own food or do without. My husband and I each cook our own meals most of the time regardless, that way we both get what we want. lol.

pudadough

Hmm so all your POSSIBLE problems are his fault? There is no POSSIBLE way that you are just hearing one side to the story and he might paint a different picture altogether?

Ok I missed the nuance here myself, so, cutting you some slack: He is REFUSING TO EAT DINNER because he doesn't like the food. Even if OP's horrible (and honestly she sounds amazing, no way I'd ever garden) - is that what a grown up human does?

Every argument has two sides. I'm guessing if we heard his then it might be different.
Maybe his dinner was a massive pleasure in his life, something he looked forward to. Maybe it was one of the reasons that he loves his wife so much "My wife's cooking is fantastic!" He boasts to his mates "I look forward to her dinners every day". Life is tough, work is hard, every day is a battle. Eating nice foods is a simple pleasure that helps get through the day......

....And she has suddenly taken away that pleasure

I can't stand going shopping, I do it because my wife likes it and it makes me happy to know she likes it. I don't like cleaning her car, I do it because I like to make her happy. She doesn't like standing in front of the stove making me dinner, she does it becuase it makes me happy. She's not my slave, I'm not hers, we do things we don't really like for each other. What's wrong with that?

"Life is tough, work is hard..."

Yeah, no *kitten*. And some of us manage it without ANY help from another person and certainly without whining like a toddler at a spouse for not making the food we like like OPs husband. In situations where you are lucky enough to have a spouse willing to cook for you AT ALL, I think the only appropriate response is to be grateful or politely decline and make your own food. Because you have someone willing to cook so you don't have to. Unlike a lot of people. This is not hard to comprehend. Jesus H. Christ on an entitlement complex cracker...

acbabbitt

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.

Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?

Or a republican/evangelical.

JasonRM79

He is really darn lucky that his wife cooks all of his meals. We share the load since in my home since we both work and both made the little one sleeping the other room. No way I am blowing what meals I get cooked for me by being critical like that.

On, a serious note ever consider doing a weekly meal plan. That way you guys can agree on what you want in advance. At least this way you both get to take the edge off the conversation by making a planning session instead of a power struggle.

Also, I know it's probably been said a hundred times but I wonder if your husband is insecure about your healthy lifestyle changes. Your health changes may also be some kind of a foil that is causing him to deal with his own health issues and is consequently taking his frustration out on you.

upgetupgetup

Finally, a woman with common sense!


Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)


So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.


Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?


Or a republican/evangelical.

I think we've arrived at a diagnosis.

sarahkatara

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.

Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?

Oh dear god, you're my hero. Seriously. Props on this one, props. Michelle Bachman is probably second only to Ann Coulter.
This is why i never come on the forums but YOU.ROCK.

redraidergirl2009

Do what my mom says if someone doesn't like her cooking "eat *kitten*!"

upgetupgetup

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.

Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?

Oh dear god, you're my hero. Seriously. Props on this one, props. Michelle Bachman is probably second only to Ann Coulter.
This is why i never come on the forums but YOU.ROCK.

Thanks! I can't stand Ann Coulter, though.

Dulcemami4ever

It's a two way street to please someone when you are married or in a relationship. If my husband doesn't like something that I am making, I would make him something he does like, not force him to down it like he is my child. I don't feel making something for someone I love is a chore, it makes me happy to make them happy. Just like you can be damned sure he is pleasing me in many other ways as well. It takes two seconds of our time to fry up something nice on the side while we do our usual diet stuff.

I will repeat myself in saying that HER husband did things the wrong way by acting like he did. Instead of throwing a tantrum, he could have asked nicely for her to make him something else. But then again, we only have one side of the story.

Willowana

It's okay. If the troll is a woman, let her get the crappy men-children out there. It takes at least one of them off the market and she gets to be the "little woman" who feels validated because she has a man (even though it's a man NONE of us would want!). If it's a man-troll, then he probably IS a man-child that can't get a woman to take care of him. Either way, it's not a problem. :laugh:

Was this supposed to be an insult? LMAO

Quite the contrary. I'd like to thank you for taking care of all the men-children out there. Without you, 'survival of the fittest' would have wiped out their subspecies long ago. YOU are doing a very important job. Keep up the great work! :flowerforyou:

I'll be having a nice cold one over here in peace and quiet :drinker:

sgrubby

Please stop feeding the trolls ;-}

pudadough

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.

Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?

Or a republican/evangelical.

Uncalled for and ignorant. I am both of those and no woman in my entire sphere of acquaintance acts even remotely similar to Dr. Troll, Ph. D up there. The women in my family taught me to be self-reliant and hard-working and not to take nonsense from a man. Puritan values and all that...

Wonderob

Hmm so all your POSSIBLE problems are his fault? There is no POSSIBLE way that you are just hearing one side to the story and he might paint a different picture altogether?

Ok I missed the nuance here myself, so, cutting you some slack: He is REFUSING TO EAT DINNER because he doesn't like the food. Even if OP's horrible (and honestly she sounds amazing, no way I'd ever garden) - is that what a grown up human does?

Maybe his dinner was a massive pleasure in his life, something he looked forward to. Maybe it was one of the reasons that he loves his wife so much "My wife's cooking is fantastic!" He boasts to his mates "I look forward to her dinners every day". Life is tough, work is hard, every day is a battle. Eating nice foods is a simple pleasure that helps get through the day......

....And she has suddenly taken away that pleasure

If that's the case, he could have found a more respectful way of expressing his displeasure, or, working around it. Again - his response shows he doesn't take responsibility for his emotions. He is trying to punish/guilt her, and causing himself suffering in the process. And probably enjoying it a bit.

No matter what's going on on the other side.

I doubt he's cleaning her car.

Therein lies the problem on this thread. All the women have a mental picture of a spoilt, lazy, immature man who sits on his fat *kitten* demanding to be waited upon.

You doubt he does things for her because of the way he has been portrayed. He could be the kindest, most generous, loving husband who does everything for his wife and goes out of his way to make her happy; and all he asks for in return is for delicious meal.

Or he could be a right selfish, spoilt, arrogant git who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants.

I'm guessing the truth is somewhere in between

upgetupgetup

It depends on whats being cooked. If you expect a man who is not dieting to eat some nasty stuff that some people will eat while on a diet, then thats a little selfish. HOWEVER the way he is talking to you and having a tantrum is a no no.

I don't know, maybe I am old school but I would want to please my hubbies tummy. Because if I am married to the man I am sure he is pleasing me in many ways. It goes both ways. I don't consider me pleasing the person I love as being a slave or whatever. Just brings me pleasure. But yeah, your husband is not going about it the right way lol

Finally, a woman with common sense!

Aren't you a woman? (I mean, troll-woman.)

So being a woman means I have to agree with a bunch of selfish women? She clearly said she has chosen to be the cook in the relationship. Well the man is sick of all that fancy diet crap. I dont blame him for wanting a pizza, burger, fries, etc. PLan the menu out for 2, not just 1.

Ann Coulter fan, out of curiousity?

Oh dear god, you're my hero. Seriously. Props on this one, props. Michelle Bachman is probably second only to Ann Coulter.
This is why i never come on the forums but YOU.ROCK.

Thanks! I can't stand Ann Coulter, though.

She is a nasty little gnome, isn't she? troll, gnome...

Whew, sorry, not reading closely tonight! Yeah, horrible, twisted person. Goodish hair, sometimes.

sarahkatara

Please stop feeding the trolls ;-}

usually, i'd agree, but this one is fairly innocuous and rather amusing. please can we let her go a little longer? I promise, i'm not even a forum fan or anything but this was irresistable! OP has a legit problem, which is why i just messaged her an actual answer.the forums are just a circus. but c'mon, just a little more poking?!

mhcoss

I'm not a terrible cook at all. In fact I get compliments about my cooking from everyone but him. The only way I can tell he likes something I've made is if a week or two later he asks me to make it. He's always really critical of anything I make....he just says it makes me a better cook in the long run.

So ever since I've been trying to lose weight I'm not as heavy handed with oils and butter, but I still use them frequently. I don't make really low calorie dishes. I typically have about 500-600 calories left for my dinner, and he gets a much bigger serving than I do (around 800-1000 calories).

Ever since I've been working out more and making healthy lunches and semi-healthy dinners he's starting to give me an attitude. He says I might need to lose weight but he doesn't so don't put him on a diet too.

I'm not. I know I'm giving him enough food, because i know what I'm feeding myself...and he gets almost twice as much food.

So he's been requesting i make a bunch of deep fried food and burgers and stuff. Since I didn't he's just deciding that he won't eat anything I cook...even if it's stuff he likes.

This is so frustrating. I already went food shopping for the week and planned out all this weeks meals. So am I just supposed to cook all that food just for myself?

wow your husband sucks. Seriously. Tell him to make his own food if he has a problem with it.

ashlbubba

That would NEVER fly in my house... If he doesn't like it he can cook his own food (and go to the store to buy it). No where did your vows say "I promise to cook whatever you want."

ETA: I will often make a side dish just for him (usually Mac & Cheese) so he gets some junk ... that keeps the balance in my house. But I wouldn't make two different meals entirely.

Wonderob

It's a two way street to please someone when you are married or in a relationship. If my husband doesn't like something that I am making, I would make him something he does like, not force him to down it like he is my child. I don't feel making something for someone I love is a chore, it makes me happy to make them happy. Just like you can be damned sure he is pleasing me in many other ways as well. It takes two seconds of our time to fry up something nice on the side while we do our usual diet stuff.

I will repeat myself in saying that HER husband did things the wrong way by acting like he did. Instead of throwing a tantrum, he could have asked nicely for her to make him something else. But then again, we only have one side of the story.

Oh good, someone I agree with on here.

I can't argue with any of that

mikkimomof3

I think she's the one being selfish. Stop boo-hoo'ing on a message board and fry that man a burger.

That spoiled man-child can fry his own damn burger. Like a busy housewife doesn't have better things to do with her time than make TWO dinners every night! And what happens when their children get older, and realize they too can get mom to make them whatever they want just by throwing a fit? What a dangerous precedence he's setting!

Wow, requesting a burger is a life or death situation LOL......

I think we can both agree, though, that there is a very distinct difference between "requesting a burger" and boycotting your spouse's cooking because you don't GET that burger. Therein lies the difference between a grown-@ss man and coddled *kitten*.

Exactly! It is not unreasonable for him to request different meals. If OP is refusing to make anything he enjoys, then there is definitely a problem--however, this doesn't seem to be the case and it is his approach to problem solving that is screwed up here.

kwagganin

My dad was like that with my mom...until she made him cook for himself. Not cooking for him actually meant she had a lot of free time on her hands. He can't cook at all so after about 2 weeks of it there was never another word about her cooking. My mom is old fashion and southern - there are no options and if we didn't like it we didn't eat.

there are websites that can help with healthier versions of those unhealthy foods. I'm a fan of skinnytaste! You could use those to find healthier ways to make the things that he's asking for.

. This!

obsidianwings

My friend has to make herself a healthy meal and her family something different. Yes, it's more work but it's worth it to have a happy healthy body and home life. Have them at least try the new food and let them decide if they like it. Then maybe they'll help you eat it next time.

I often cook seperate stuff, however i don't work and my partner does. He also doesn't refuse stuff he likes just to be an *kitten*

Willowana

Please stop feeding the trolls ;-}

usually, i'd agree, but this one is fairly innocuous and rather amusing. please can we let her go a little longer? I promise, i'm not even a forum fan or anything but this was irresistable! OP has a legit problem, which is why i just messaged her an actual answer.the forums are just a circus. but c'mon, just a little more poking?!

I was having fun with this one too. But then a real man comes along and has to give us the "voice of reason". Yes, sir. I will stop poking the trolls...