Relocating for Love
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Do it. You only live once. (and yes i have done it)0
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Did it and I'm sure glad I did! I met my husband on a site just like this actually, thedailyplate. I lived in Chicago, him in Philadelphia. One thing led to another and I made the move. We are married now.
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Have any one of you done it?
Would any of you consider it?
Is long Distance a deal breaker?
Awe are you finally realizing how awesome it would be to be close to me? lol
This is a tough one... Being a single mom I would have to take into consideration, her father and just how far away this "love" is lol But if the relocation was something that was a positive in our life then it would be something I would consider. Is long distance a deal breaker? Hmm I don't think it would be other than the fact that I am one who loves attention and cuddling LOL0 -
My friend did. He ended up being an *kitten* and they broke up shortly after and now she is trapped there.0
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Who's moving to Charlotte for me is the real question here?
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When you meet "the one" you'll do whatever it takes to give it a chance. For love, anything is worth a chance.
^^^^ this is the best advice0 -
I moved from England to California to marry my husband, we lived there for 4 years and then he came back to England with me we have been here for 10 years now. Long distance and across the ocoean moving worked for us.
I was 38 with 3 kids, he was 40 with 1 son, we now have 3 sons together!
Wow! That's a beautiful story, sounds like a fairy tale ending!0 -
Have any one of you done it?
Would any of you consider it?
Is long Distance a deal breaker?
Awe are you finally realizing how awesome it would be to be close to me? lol
This is a tough one... Being a single mom I would have to take into consideration, her father and just how far away this "love" is lol But if the relocation was something that was a positive in our life then it would be something I would consider. Is long distance a deal breaker? Hmm I don't think it would be other than the fact that I am one who loves attention and cuddling LOL
My daughters Father passed away in 2008. So the tie to stay here, isn't as strong. His whole Family passed away the same year. His Ma, Dad and Sister, all from Diabetes. So I finally have closure and want to move on w/my life.0 -
My fiance did. I'd have done it in a heartbeat if it was an option for myself.
My long distance is worth it, and I'm pretty sure he'd say relocating was worth it.
But that's not to say it's for everybody.0 -
I relocated for love and sadly my ex broke up with me 10 days before I moved. But he is a rare breed of scumbag and I think it's totally worth it. I would absolutely consider it for the right person.
Distance can be tricky (depending on how much distance there is) but there is phone, email, texts, skype. So I say go for it!0 -
Would do.0
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My friend did. He ended up being an *kitten* and they broke up shortly after and now she is trapped there.
I have two friends who are trapped here from different countries for the same reason. They struggle to make ends meet. Rely on the men for everything from financial to support the kids and they still cling to his family as they are thousands of miles away from theirs. They had everything in their countries and were professionals. Except one, she came very young. Another also but made her way here and is a hard working and high earning professional, who is nonetheless yearning for her home. Plus they have jobs to make ends meet and live in places they'd rather not. Kids they had together keeps them from returning and their lives they convey as a struggle and still centered around the men who brought them/invited them here.
And yes love was "valid" for them, and it is for me too (that "love not valid" was pretty much uncalled for and a stab in the dark). Unfortunately if circumstances change and the situation becomes different all the valid love in the world will not pay your rent or soothe you if he's in someone else's arms. It happens. These are just the experiences I'm familiar with by proximity and friendships. Not to take anything away from anyone else's experience. Just this is what I've seen and hear about on a regular basis. IRL i like to friend all kinds of people from all kinds of backgrounds and am especially drawn to adventuresome people and those who seem to need a support system and these girls fit both. I like to be there for them. Just wish they could follow their true desires and live the lives they want now, but can't. Just last week for example while lunching with a friend she asked me to accompany her to see a sick friend relative of her ex spouse because she would feel awkward if he was there with his new wife. He was. It was awkward. I am her only vent person as her families far away. Two days later same girl turned off her phone during coffee because family back home wants to talk too much for her comfort. It makes her sad and yearn for home when they call to chit chat or keep her in the loop. She struggles. Be careful. Just be strong and be careful.0 -
no
no
yes0 -
Well MCD, those are quite rare circumstances.
I 'd like too add I have a college education and I have supported myself since the age of 17. Living in my own place and paying my own bills. Driving my own cars and buying my own clothes. I am the most resilient resourceful person I know and my friends look up too me for this reason.
No man would ever steal my spirit nor would he support me financially, unless I had some bad disease and couldn't do it for myself.
I'd also like to add that my kids father and his family passed away in 2008, leaving us alone. So I know even more now what it means to be independent and have a life that I built and created for myself and my child. I have no intentions on moving someplace and have no Goals in mind. Of course I have goals and I wouldn't set myself up for failure like this. I also have friends that live there as well.0 -
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I have been in a couple of long distance relationships, two of which resulted in proposals, one I said yes to and moved to Nebraska to be with. In the end it didn't work out, I just wasn't ready for the life he wanted for us and had too much resentment and was far too young.
I would be extremely hesitant to do it again but the fact of the matter is I survived moving to a different state and breaking up. I survived moving to a different town and survived. No car or anything. So if I were to finally meet someone that I have a real connection with then I would consider a long distance relationship. If I were to fall in love with this person (which would be the first time I've ever fallen in love) then I would most definitley consider moving to be with them. It would take even more thought if they lived in a terribly cold and rainy place but still considerable.
It's all scary and to be honest I couldn't give you any proper advice because I do not have a child and I am not in your situation but I say never say never and keep an open mind. Pursue a relationship and visit before making any decisions on moving. I wish you the best and all the love in the world, dear.
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Ow Psuedo, Your a Peach! Thanks dear friend.
Can I get those Airmiles you been rackin up?0 -
In Soviet Russia, Love Relocates for You!0
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What is that you are saying Norm? haha0
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mail order brides?0
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Where do I sign up? :flowerforyou:0
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If that flower was for me then, then then......
:flowerforyou:0 -
My wife relocated far away from me and I love it more every day! I'd highly recommend everyone try it 0
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My wife relocated far away from me and I love it more every day! I'd highly recommend everyone try it
How do I contact her?0 -
I was just joking w/my friend the other day about Mail Order Briding it! But sers, that's a little creepy.0
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My friend did. He ended up being an *kitten* and they broke up shortly after and now she is trapped there.
I have two friends who are trapped here from different countries for the same reason. They struggle to make ends meet. Rely on the men for everything from financial to support the kids and they still cling to his family as they are thousands of miles away from theirs. They had everything in their countries and were professionals. Except one, she came very young. Another also but made her way here and is a hard working and high earning professional, who is nonetheless yearning for her home. Plus they have jobs to make ends meet and live in places they'd rather not. Kids they had together keeps them from returning and their lives they convey as a struggle and still centered around the men who brought them/invited them here.
And yes love was "valid" for them, and it is for me too (that "love not valid" was pretty much uncalled for and a stab in the dark). Unfortunately if circumstances change and the situation becomes different all the valid love in the world will not pay your rent or soothe you if he's in someone else's arms. It happens. These are just the experiences I'm familiar with by proximity and friendships. Not to take anything away from anyone else's experience. Just this is what I've seen and hear about on a regular basis. IRL i like to friend all kinds of people from all kinds of backgrounds and am especially drawn to adventuresome people and those who seem to need a support system and these girls fit both. I like to be there for them. Just wish they could follow their true desires and live the lives they want now, but can't. Just last week for example while lunching with a friend she asked me to accompany her to see a sick friend relative of her ex spouse because she would feel awkward if he was there with his new wife. He was. It was awkward. I am her only vent person as her families far away. Two days later same girl turned off her phone during coffee because family back home wants to talk too much for her comfort. It makes her sad and yearn for home when they call to chit chat or keep her in the loop. She struggles. Be careful. Just be strong and be careful.
OP I know you're looking to confirm your expectations, but I really hope you read this again. The stories described above are not 'unusual', at all.
And yeah of course it's possible to 'land on your feet' and 'survive'. That is not the same thing as thriving. As a foreigner, even in friendly Canada, you're literally handicapped in all kinds of legal ways until you get permanent residency. Not to mention the informal ways. And if your legal status depends on this relationship, well, that's one reason people find themselves in trouble and stay in ****ty situations.
Do you have a job offer in writing and a visa sponsorship agreement with the employer? 10,000 in the bank? You joked about airmiles - question: would you need them to travel? You talked about having a 'pad' to crash at - meaning you'll depend on your friends' generosity, instead of this guy you've never met?
All that would have been well and good 5-10 years ago, when jobs were plentiful and life was less scary for everyone. It's a different world now. Canada's more stable than most of the world, but there's still a highish unemployment rate. And if you're talking about living in Vancouver, it's the most expensive city in North America:
http://blogs.vancouversun.com/2012/02/14/vancouver-great-city-if-you-can-afford-it/
Risks like this sound fun (and can be, IF THINGS WORK OUT) when you're in your twenties. Let me tell you, it is not fun to just 'survive' with less time ahead of you.
You're going to hear what you want and shut out the rest, and probably accuse me of being 'negative', I suspect, but I hope at least some of this registers as a possibility.
It sounds like you're wanting escape, more than a relationship. If it were really about love, somebody would have at least visited somebody. So visit him, or invite him down, give it time.
As for the guy being amazing on Skype, and that guaranteeing his amazingness as a partner - I just don't even know what to say...
edit: also- no matter how entrepreneurial and energetic you are, most people have a limited number of times they have the juice to start over, and there's a bigger price to pay for it, the older you get. Especially if you're a woman.0 -
And I will add in my friend's circumstance, she only went from San Diego to Oregon. But she is still "trapped" there because of the job market.0
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I moved from Seattle to Atlanta for a guy who is now my husband 8 years ago and haven't regretted it. Everyone thought I was crazy when I told them and everyone assumed I would be back in 6 months. He was the one. So I guess I am one of the lucky few.0
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yes i did
It was the biggest mistake I ever made. I went to Arkansas moved to New York where my now ex husband is. our marriage lasted 1 1/2 years then ended up leaving him because he was an abuser. you have to know 100% that him/ her is the one for you before relocating. me personally I wouldn't do it again. will stick with a nice Arkansas guy.0 -
My wife relocated far away from me and I love it more every day! I'd highly recommend everyone try it
How do I contact her?
You'll need a copy of the Necromonacon and a blood sacrafice to summon her. Just sayin'.0
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