Relocating for Love

124

Replies

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/928761-his-fkn-ex-i-need-advice

    just sayin'

    cue alannis morissette. "things could get messy.....lalalala"
  • TomTomato
    TomTomato Posts: 223
    It can work, but it is really tough. When I met my wife, we lived about 3,000 miles apart. It was two years before we were together. We've been together over 17 years now.
  • RingSize8
    RingSize8 Posts: 175 Member
    It's like any other risk in life - you weigh your options and make a decision. My boyfriend moved out here (CA) from Michigan to be with me. It was rough in the beginning, because he was pretty homesick, but we're 2.5 years in, and still going. I think what you need to consider more is what life would be like for you wherever you are considering moving. Moving from Lansing, MI to the Bay Area is kind of an upgrade (even my boyfriend will admit that), but even if it weren't, we was willing to make it work. Are you? Are there opportunities available to you in this new place? What are you giving up? I mean, not be to harsh - but don't be stupid. If you have a great career, friends, life in general, and he lives in the middle of nowhere, then I would say don't consider it. ...but if your lives are fairly equally weighted, but for whatever reason it makes more sense for you to move to him then visa versa, and it's what you want to do, why not? Give it some serious thought, listen to your heart, and find an option that connects to two.
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    Have any one of you done it? No.

    Would any of you consider it? Not unless there was a big commitment involved (marriage)

    Is long Distance a deal breaker? IMHO, yes. At least it is for me.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
    My now husband moved with me when I had to move to a different city. Granted it wasn't that far away but still moved away.

    I would move for love. If the relationship works, fantastic, If it doesn't, well as another poster pointed out you got to try something new and live somewhere different.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I moved 1100 miles from So Cal to Portland , Oregon to marry. It didn't last, but.....I met the love of my life here and we have been together 23 years. Just celebrated our 20th Anniversary. Can't second guess your path.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    @Upgetup~ Your clearly misunderstanding me here.

    I evaluate situations, financially, logically and with main objectives.
    ~I asked for the air miles too go for a visit, and I was joking
    ~I am not looking for an escape~I can do that in my head w/no help, I wouldn't move 35000 mi away to Escape. I am Human, not a wild animal
    ~I do know what it cost to relocate and I do have the money to do so.
    ~I do head these suggestions and Im not reading only what I want to hear, as I am in no way shallow
    ~Have no fears, He is Brilliant with a great head on his shoulders, He has his own place, Car, Employment, Education, Stability, Goals, and a Future...and He doesn't think with his package..for the most part
    ~When I said that I wanted to crash on my friends couch I was kidding, but it is an option.
    Please have a sense of humor about some of the things I Quote because those girls are my friends here.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    when the woman who would become my wife had just moved in together, an offer came my way to move to Baltimore, MD. I talked to her about it. And it didn't even cross our minds that we would not be doing whatever we decided together. She knew if I ended up going, she would come with me, and I knew that if she didn't want to go, that I would happily stay with her.

    We ended up going.

    3-4 years later, we moved back.
  • Rhonnie
    Rhonnie Posts: 506 Member
    The long distance can work, but not for everyone - there are challenges and there are benefits. As for moving to be with someone that works for some and not for others. Some concerns I have when I hear someone saying they are doing that is that it makes it very easy for the person to move to be overly dependent on the person they moved to be with - you don't have any of your own friends, you don't have a job, you probably don't have family, etc. So if things go south they can feel trapped.
  • Dead_Darling
    Dead_Darling Posts: 478 Member
    I'm in the middle of trying to relocate to live with my boyfriend, but it all depends on what's happening on my side. If I can't move, then we need to keep it long distance for a little while longer. I don't mind, because it means I wouldn't have to wax my legs as often XD

    Before we got serious about living together, I would stay round his for a couple of days - a week max - just to see if we can do it, and we can, but it might not happen now, who knows. I would love to live with him though :)
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Have any one of you done it?
    Would any of you consider it?
    Is long Distance a deal breaker?
    I haven't done it, but within a couple months of dating my now-husband, he was interviewing in another state....I'm fairly certain I'd have gone with him if he took that job.

    You only live once..and if you think someone is worth it...why not? I'm not a big fan of long distance...its very hard to maintain a relationship that way.
  • bgelliott
    bgelliott Posts: 610 Member
    Have any one of you done it?
    "NO"

    Would any of you consider it?
    "YES"

    Is long Distance a deal breaker?
    Depends on the relationship and the situation. I lived apart from my husband for a year (me and the kids in AZ and him in CA). He drove out once a month for the weekend. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. We all missed each other like crazy
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    So didnt you JUST start dating a few days ago? A little soon to be asking such heavy questions or making plans.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Only if we were getting married. Would not move anywhere for a boyfriend. I've done long distance and would do it again, but only with the understanding that it's not going to be long distance indefinitely. I am 30, which means I am too old to spend years in a long distance relationship with someone who has no clear plans for us to be together.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Only if we were getting married. Would not move anywhere for a boyfriend. I've done long distance and would do it again, but only with the understanding that it's not going to be long distance indefinitely. I am 30, which means I am too old to spend years in a long distance relationship with someone who has no clear plans for us to be together.

    I agree.
  • iceman7840
    iceman7840 Posts: 110
    You never know until you try. Life is all about taking chances and gaining experience.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I'm going to relocate anyway. I will not relocate for love to someplace where I'll be sick (I have horrible allergies and asthma issues that literally disable me most of the year where I currently live).

    So all of you men who were eagerly seeking my affections from states with high temperatures, ragweed, and heavy pollutants, sorry about those broken hearts, have a band-aid. :laugh:

    Oh wait, all of you men...er, that would be zero from anywhere. Oh well. :brokenheart:
  • Ohmydaze
    Ohmydaze Posts: 403 Member
    Long distance atm, and would happily do it. Plan to, after uni.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    My wife relocated far away from me and I love it more every day! I'd highly recommend everyone try it :)

    How do I contact her?

    You'll need a copy of the Necromonacon and a blood sacrafice to summon her. Just sayin'.

    I did that once and all I got was some weird demon named Lo... who names their demon Lo?
  • njmp
    njmp Posts: 277 Member
    I would suggest you look into what's required of you to move to another country. You know you're not allowed to just move to another country ...right? If that obstacle wasn't in the way, I would say go for it. But that's a BIG, expensive obstacle. Unless you have some skill that the government sees as worthwhile to hire you instead of a Canadian.
    I echo the meet him and date him sentiment.
    Good luck.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Long distance atm, and would happily do it. Plan to, after uni.

    long distance ATM? as in sugar daddy?
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    So didnt you JUST start dating a few days ago? A little soon to be asking such heavy questions or making plans.

    lmao Tim! Shush.....
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
    deal breaker
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
    YES, married to a spouse in the military - moved, did the long distance relationship and would do it again to have the happily ever-after we have had for 32 years
  • nmb0717
    nmb0717 Posts: 130 Member
    I moved from NC to TX almost 3 years ago! My boyfriend lived here and my job gave me the opportunity to relocate. I am SO glad I did and believe everyone should move at least once in their life to experience some place new. You learn so much about yourself! Good luck :)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Well, I'm glad you have a degree and all, but just FYI these friends I refer to and I all have more than a degree. Advanced degrees and certifications and the like. Please don't hang your hat on a few letters after your name to shield you from heartbreak. I know you quite well from my FL and must say that these IRL friends are very very strong mature and capable women and it's still a struggle. I just want you to keep this in mind as you go forward with your adventure. Degrees do not preclude heartbreak or missing family. In any country. In any universe. In the future I'd appreciate it if you asked before making the assumption that you are more educated than my IRL friends who I hold dear to my heart due to their circumstances and have the utmost respect for, for powering on in spite of the hardship. I'm done since I see you are convinced to do things your way and obviously feel more prepared than anyone else who's ever tried it. Hope you get one of these other outcomes that people were kind enough to open up and share with you here. I never said it couldn't work or that my friends were a bunch of uneducated dummies who recklessly threw caution to the wind. Just want to make that clear as I'd feel like an IRL *kitten* making my IRL friends out to be something they are not just by omission. The end.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    No but you speak to me as though I am wreckless and don't throw caution too the wind.
    A simple explanation would have sufficed. You spoke of their hardships and how they are clung to the other party's side.
    That's irrevellivant here.
    All I wanted to know was if you'd consider it, you know the move?
    You answered that ? and then followed that with your dear friends hardships. As I feel for them, I just cant relate.
    So thanks for sharing, but it felt to me like your being a pecimist.

    I wasn't speaking on education alone, so you missed my point.
    My point was that I wouldn't sacrifice my independence under any circumstances. That being said, Id relocate for love and if it didn't work out..Id still find happiness and continue to be independent.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Have you began looking at the reqs for moving to Canada and becoming a citizen or getting a work VISA? Doesnt hurt to be aware and prepared. Especially if the process will be long.
  • xaMErica
    xaMErica Posts: 284 Member
    I relocated for love!
    From NC/ SC to CA. Totally worth it. My fiancé is amazing. I couldn't imagine being with any one else. Been here since December.. we will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary on May 3rd.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    that's one of the easier countries to move to. I've looked into it.

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