Wife read 50 Shades, won't stop

BurtHuttz
BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've always been fairly open-minded but my wife finished reading 50 Shades of Grey a few weeks ago and has been behaving very strangely. She has been acting ignorant and juvenile and, as near as I can tell, trying to act about fifteen years younger than she really is. It is very frustrating as we have children and I don't know how to explain to them why mommy is acting like an ingénue.

When I bring it up with her, she gets very wide eyed and breathless and starts talking about punishments. If she's talking about what I think she's talking about, I'm not interested at all. However, if just playing along gets this behavior to stop, I'm willing to do it. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

With love,
Burt
«13456

Replies

  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Divorce.


    It's your only option.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You should tie her up and tickle her senseless. That always keeps me in check!


    Hate being tickled. :grumble:
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Get her some real erotica novels. You're welcome.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Obviously give in to her every fantasy. It is your duty.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    You should tie her up and tickle her senseless. That always keeps me in check!


    Hate being tickled. :grumble:
    tumblr_m7ldrrGQJq1qdlh1io1_400.gif
  • BrainsOnGains
    BrainsOnGains Posts: 282 Member
    ball gag. stun gun. zip ties.
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
    Lock her in the basement till she learns her place. After she makes you a sammich first (obvs)
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Send pics of wife.
    I may be willing to help.
  • sclarktiw
    sclarktiw Posts: 217
    Dont be such a prude! I WISH my wife had the reaction your's has...and if you dont work it out with her, she may look else where...I envy your situation.
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    That sounds terrible!! Look at it as a calorie burning opportunity...you're welcome!
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
    See, this is why I don't allow my women to learn how to read.

    Also, keep eating food and drinking so there are alays dishes to be done, that will help keep in the kitchen.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    You should tie her up and tickle her senseless. That always keeps me in check!


    Hate being tickled. :grumble:
    tumblr_m7ldrrGQJq1qdlh1io1_400.gif

    I am going to have nightmares about that one!

    If she starts talking about her inner goddess, then you must leave. Grab the kids and get the hell out of there.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    I was going to say punch her to make her snap out of it, but she might enjoy it. :tongue:

    Edit: Added smiley so people will understand I am joking.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Divorce.


    It's your only option.
    QFT \m/
  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
    Get her some real erotica novels. You're welcome.

    This a million times over.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Hey Burt.

    This is a real problem. Especially if you have children. She could be poisoning their minds as well with this garbage,

    Someone mentioned divorce. That might be a bit extreme. But some counselling is definitely in order.

    Hope this helps.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Where is my dinner invite?
  • links_slayer
    links_slayer Posts: 1,151 Member
    i have the same problem but was always afraid to post about it.

    thanks.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    You'd best give in to her every whim.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You should tie her up and tickle her senseless. That always keeps me in check!


    Hate being tickled. :grumble:
    tumblr_m7ldrrGQJq1qdlh1io1_400.gif

    That would seriously piss me off. And that other pic you posted awhile back where she was duct-taped to the wall. I cringed. I am so damn ticklish just the threat alone is enough to make me laugh like an idiot.
  • seena511
    seena511 Posts: 685 Member
    just don't let her watch "Secretary"
  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
    Snap some cuffs on yourself, sit on your heels and call her Mistress. When she asks you whats up, tell her you just finished 50 Shades and are VERY interested in playing......

    Also Shayla Black is a much better author.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
    Leave her purely fore her awful taste in literature.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Coincidentally, it's not really a punishment if she enjoys it... jus' sayin'!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    If she starts talking about her inner goddess, then you must leave. Grab the kids and get the hell out of there.

    This...times infinity.

    Every mention of the "inner goddess" made me want to do this...

    fight-club-tumblr-5.gif
  • TheSwoleMinister_deleted
    TheSwoleMinister_deleted Posts: 540 Member
    8578094054_763882f9b0.jpg
    idrive300
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Buy batteries in bulk.
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
    My ex-girlfriend started reading this book, she said it was so romantic... I said: "Oh yea? Are you break up with the book too?"
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
    Take the kids and leave in the middle of the night.
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    She's trying to goad you into a pseudo-M/s or TiH relationship. She acts bratty and you're supposed to punish her for being bad.

    Little does she know that Fifty Shades Grey is to BDSM what Star Wars is to religion...

    Send her to FetLife and she'll learn the truth.
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