Wife read 50 Shades, won't stop

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  • seena511
    seena511 Posts: 685 Member
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    just don't let her watch "Secretary"
  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
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    Snap some cuffs on yourself, sit on your heels and call her Mistress. When she asks you whats up, tell her you just finished 50 Shades and are VERY interested in playing......

    Also Shayla Black is a much better author.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
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    Leave her purely fore her awful taste in literature.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Coincidentally, it's not really a punishment if she enjoys it... jus' sayin'!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    If she starts talking about her inner goddess, then you must leave. Grab the kids and get the hell out of there.

    This...times infinity.

    Every mention of the "inner goddess" made me want to do this...

    fight-club-tumblr-5.gif
  • TheSwoleMinister_deleted
    TheSwoleMinister_deleted Posts: 540 Member
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    8578094054_763882f9b0.jpg
    idrive300
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Buy batteries in bulk.
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
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    My ex-girlfriend started reading this book, she said it was so romantic... I said: "Oh yea? Are you break up with the book too?"
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Take the kids and leave in the middle of the night.
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    She's trying to goad you into a pseudo-M/s or TiH relationship. She acts bratty and you're supposed to punish her for being bad.

    Little does she know that Fifty Shades Grey is to BDSM what Star Wars is to religion...

    Send her to FetLife and she'll learn the truth.
  • CM9178
    CM9178 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    this can't be real.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    Get her some real erotica novels. You're welcome.
    ^this
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
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    I haven't even had 2 cups of coffee yet so bump until I get my wit back...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    She's trying to goad you into a pseudo-M/s or TiH relationship. She acts bratty and you're supposed to punish her for being bad.

    Little does she know that Fifty Shades Grey is to BDSM what Star Wars is to religion...

    Send her to FetLife and she'll learn the truth.

    This... if she got a real taste of it, she might not be so interested.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    I'm available for in person consultations on this very difficult issue at $250 an hour.
  • neacail
    neacail Posts: 228 Member
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    I've read that piece of rubbish, and my suggestion is to try providing her with something decent to read in the hopes that it will scrub her brain out.

    I'm working through "Les Miserables" (the Penguin edition, translated by Norman Denny), and it is a wonderful work. Denny has done a spectacular job in the translations, and the language is mesmerizing.
  • HealthyWarrior
    HealthyWarrior Posts: 394 Member
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    OMG absolutely LOVED LOVED these books. I cannot wait for the movies to come out in 2014. I've already re-read each book twice so far lol
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
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    Buy batteries in bulk.

    QFT
    tumblr_meb0jsMF6u1rycke3.jpg
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    Are you being serious or are you joking? I can't imagine a grown woman having that kind of response to a book. I'm 32 and the book just encouraged me to be a bit more "playful" with my hubby. It's terrible erotica. Why not get her some real erotica and do a bit of fun foreplay? It doesn't have to be zip ties and a playroom, maybe a pair of sexy dice or she can wear an eye mask and you can feed her strawberries. Or you can just tickle her until she tells you she isn't into it anymore :)
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