Wife read 50 Shades, won't stop

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Replies

  • CM9178
    CM9178 Posts: 1,251 Member
    this can't be real.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    Get her some real erotica novels. You're welcome.
    ^this
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    I haven't even had 2 cups of coffee yet so bump until I get my wit back...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    She's trying to goad you into a pseudo-M/s or TiH relationship. She acts bratty and you're supposed to punish her for being bad.

    Little does she know that Fifty Shades Grey is to BDSM what Star Wars is to religion...

    Send her to FetLife and she'll learn the truth.

    This... if she got a real taste of it, she might not be so interested.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I'm available for in person consultations on this very difficult issue at $250 an hour.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • neacail
    neacail Posts: 228 Member
    I've read that piece of rubbish, and my suggestion is to try providing her with something decent to read in the hopes that it will scrub her brain out.

    I'm working through "Les Miserables" (the Penguin edition, translated by Norman Denny), and it is a wonderful work. Denny has done a spectacular job in the translations, and the language is mesmerizing.
  • HealthyWarrior
    HealthyWarrior Posts: 394 Member
    OMG absolutely LOVED LOVED these books. I cannot wait for the movies to come out in 2014. I've already re-read each book twice so far lol
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    Buy batteries in bulk.

    QFT
    tumblr_meb0jsMF6u1rycke3.jpg
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    Are you being serious or are you joking? I can't imagine a grown woman having that kind of response to a book. I'm 32 and the book just encouraged me to be a bit more "playful" with my hubby. It's terrible erotica. Why not get her some real erotica and do a bit of fun foreplay? It doesn't have to be zip ties and a playroom, maybe a pair of sexy dice or she can wear an eye mask and you can feed her strawberries. Or you can just tickle her until she tells you she isn't into it anymore :)
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I'm available for in person consultations on this very difficult issue at $250 an hour.

    HEY!!!! that's MY line!!!!

    ok ok ok...you can have it.....this one time.
  • jlg6599
    jlg6599 Posts: 162 Member
    You should tie her up and tickle her senseless. That always keeps me in check!


    Hate being tickled. :grumble:
    tumblr_m7ldrrGQJq1qdlh1io1_400.gif


    OMG. LMAO!!!
  • vblair77
    vblair77 Posts: 180 Member
    She's trying to goad you into a pseudo-M/s or TiH relationship. She acts bratty and you're supposed to punish her for being bad.

    Little does she know that Fifty Shades Grey is to BDSM what Star Wars is to religion...

    Send her to FetLife and she'll learn the truth.

    ^^This. Truth is power. :tongue:
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    Give her the novel "The Shining", I think she will leave you alone then.
  • WDEvy
    WDEvy Posts: 814 Member
    Punish her for her bad taste in books.
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    If she starts talking about her inner goddess, then you must leave. Grab the kids and get the hell out of there.

    This...times infinity.

    Every mention of the "inner goddess" made me want to do this...

    fight-club-tumblr-5.gif

    I have no inner goddess because I am a goddess. Bow before me and bring me bacon.
  • KevinsCatie
    KevinsCatie Posts: 137 Member
    There I was, lying on the bed covered in motor oil... she walked in with a saddle & a set of jumper cables.

    And you might be a redneck you can man who said this first!!!
  • KevinsCatie
    KevinsCatie Posts: 137 Member
    OMG absolutely LOVED LOVED these books. I cannot wait for the movies to come out in 2014. I've already re-read each book twice so far lol

    You know there is a 4th book in the making right now, right?
  • verdemujer
    verdemujer Posts: 1,397 Member
    There is nothing wrong with going to sexual therapy/counseling - much of the activity is more about relationship satisfaction then actual sexual activities. And you might discover how to satisfy role playing without actually going to the full BDSM side of things. I would actually suggest that over attending a BDSM session first since, what if she did discover she really does like the BDSM and then you are left with divorce as your option? It doesn’t sound like you want a divorce.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    Give her the paddle! She loves it, trust me. :wink:
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Have you considered stopping with the feeding and allowing her to consume less than 3000 calories a day? Oftentimes, people become confused with one aspect of their lives and think that because there are certain elements in a relationship, in this case forcing her to consume copious amounts of delicious and nutritious food to keep up with her extreme exercise regime, that might lead to the person believing that elements that do not exist, in this case her purchasing you 37 grey neckties, are welcome?

    So if you cut her calories down to 2000, her behavior is very likely to change.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    When you talk to her do you end your sentences "With Love, Burt." If so she may not be taking you seriously.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Dude... You are blessed.

    I've seen your wife.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Give her the paddle! She loves it, trust me. :wink:

    which one, the ping pong one? the old school days one? the tawse (scottish one) or the best kind...the electric bug zapper one for that extra zing?

    i'm very well versed in paddle terminology...

    :bigsmile:
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    There is nothing wrong with going to sexual therapy/counseling - much of the activity is more about relationship satisfaction then actual sexual activities. And you might discover how to satisfy role playing without actually going to the full BDSM side of things. I would actually suggest that over attending a BDSM session first since, what if she did discover she really does like the BDSM and then you are left with divorce as your option? It doesn’t sound like you want a divorce.
    Uh, what's wrong with the BDSM side? Why does BDSM have to lead to divorce?
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    Give her the paddle! She loves it, trust me. :wink:

    which one, the ping pong one? the old school days one? the tawse (scottish one) or the best kind...the electric bug zapper one for that extra zing?

    i'm very well versed in paddle terminology...

    :bigsmile:

    Think Dazed and Confused.
  • motherofthree1974
    motherofthree1974 Posts: 21
    I read the book and let me tell you WOW!!! I find it more interesting acting out like the book with my husband. Remember you are the husband a little bit of change aint gonna hurt. My husband at first did not like it but then realized that it made me love it so he played along and now our sex life is wow! I love the submission call me kinky but at the end of the day who does not want to try or who is not doing it. If you don't like like talk to her about it of just take it slow and she will understand at least you tried is all that counts.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I feel sorry for your wife.

    Your posts here only compain about her. In fact, she is beautiful and bulky (well, she's trying), and I have seen her put her leg behind her head.

    Oh wait. I wasn't supposed to tell you about that.
  • HealthyWarrior
    HealthyWarrior Posts: 394 Member
    OMG absolutely LOVED LOVED these books. I cannot wait for the movies to come out in 2014. I've already re-read each book twice so far lol

    You know there is a 4th book in the making right now, right?

    haha no I didn't know that. I knew they were making 3 movies. You just made my day lol.

    But in all seriousness I've read the books and I most certainly don't act juvenile and try to get my husband to punish me.
  • nicarey19
    nicarey19 Posts: 126 Member
    Leave her purely fore her awful taste in literature.

    YES A BILLION TIMES YES! BEST COMMENT!!!
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