How young is too young?
Replies
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Really hope this isn't a troll thread...
regardless, when I was 19 I dated a 32 year old. Given, I was over the age of 18 but the difference is the same...family members were not happy with the arrangement and made it awkward...even though it didn't last long we are still friends. If there is a connection, go for it. It sounds like the age of consent is 16, she can make her own decisions...but do try to be a gentleman about it..ask her father for permission if you two do hit it off....give her a call
good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
My wife and I are 13 years apart in age. She keeps me young and is wonderful! Go for it0
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I'm from Asia. We have a strict policy of old enough to bleed, old enough to breed
This scares me.
Me too. My step daughter is 12 and just hit that point, she certainly isn't mature enough to handle sex or having a baby. Very frightening indeed.0 -
Definitely not! Let her be young and do the things teenagers do. If you end up in a relationship with her, she is probably going to resent you for it down the line. I'm 30 and I wouldn't dream of dating anyone that young. I mean she just got her driver's license last year!0
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You are quiet mistaken kind sir; I don't fancy arguing with you, I only wanted to understand where India came from. After your clarification that you stereotyped him as an Indian due to his looks and your vast knowledge of Indians because there are a lot of them where you live. I know understand why you casted him as Indian and preceded to link him to India and rape to crush his credibility.
sex with a child is rape imho
Now you are taking your argument to a whole new field.
We can all agree on sex with a child being rape, that is why we have laws in each of our countries that clear state that and define a child.
I personally think child labour is like rape for what it's taking away from the children. But that doesn't give me the right to say everyone using an IPhone helped rape those poor kids in China.
That would be taking my argument to a whole new field.
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
and to add i dont give a rats *kitten* what country he's from what he said was wrong regardless of being culture or not0 -
Too young mate - 5 years ago she was 12.
Seriously.
I have a daughter and I truly hope that when she's 17, a 29 year old does not take advantage. To her it's a compliment that an older man is interested. Honestly though, it's troublesome that you can't comprehend how this would be an issue.0 -
I don't understand why you keep bringing India into this conversation? Did your British empire not rape and pillage them enough that you feel the need to finish the job?
... no i'm expressing my opinion of the things that go on there, i didn't have anything to do with the british empire? i don't reallllly think i'm disallowed an opinion because of something that happened 400 years ago
you mean 80 years?
And you are entitled to the opinion. I genuinely would like to know what India got to do with this conversation cause you mentioned it like a couple of times.
Or do you call all brown people Indian and the mention of India is like a funny racist joke on Taunto that flew over my head and I didn't get it?
Someone said on one of the first pages that she was from india. I think that's how it all started...
Try again, the English gentleman clearly stated that he got India based on looking at the pictures.
ok he's not indian he's clearly......... vietnamese.......... please start an arguement with me i'm dying to see where you're going with this
You are quiet mistaken kind sir; I don't fancy arguing with you, I only wanted to understand where India came from. After your clarification that you stereotyped him as an Indian due to his looks and your vast knowledge of Indians because there are a lot of them where you live. I know understand why you casted him as Indian and preceded to link him to India and rape to crush his credibility.
sex with a child is rape imho
The violent take over and destruction of a sub-continent by an imperialist power is also accurately described as rape in many history books and imho.0 -
Society, as in people, are very judgemental and they have been brainwashed into what is ok and what isn't, largely be religions. Even if they're not religious the laws they quote have been influenced by them. In this case something of an irony given the Catholic church scandals going on, but hey ho...
It's especially difficult on an international forum like this as I've known Americans to consider it wholly inappropriate for someone to legally have sex at 16, when their laws say 18. They also find it wrong for ppl to drink at 18, as opposed to 21. But they'll give someone a car at 16. And a gun at 18. Go figure... And we in the UK think 16 is ok for someone to be sexually active, but not 14. Despite the fact that in reality many teens have had sex at that age. But we prefer not to talk about it at the dinner table. If we don't talk about it, it's not happening...
If you are asking if it's ok, then for you, it's not ok.
You clearly care what other people think otherwise you wouldn't be asking.
How would you feel if it was your 17 year old daughter or sister dating a 29 year old? Would you honestly be ok with it? If not, how is it ok for you?
So I don't think you're going to be able to cope with the aggro other ppl are going to give you.
Anyone outside of social "norms" ( a moving target) has to put up with a lot of judgement from other people who like to stick their noses into the business of others in order to distract themselves from their dissatisfaction with their own lives. Until recently this included, and in some circles still includes, any woman dating a younger man, someone in a mixed race relationship, or someone dating someone of the same sex. People will scoff about such things now, but at the time it was a very real problem and a *widely* held belief.
As for the mathematical formula of what is ok and what isn't, that's the biggest pile of c**p I've read in a while.
Half your age plus 7? Why was it not half plus 6? Or half plus 8? There is NOTHING scientific about it. It's purely something for people to quote to try and make their point of view sound authoritative. All it tells me is that they can't think for themselves and weigh up a situation.
She may be very mature at 17, however the odds say it's unlikely. Doesn't mean she isn't outside that "norm", just giving you the odds.
Your intentions may be honourable, let's be clear here, if you're talking about a relationship with her sex comes into this at some point, but if you intend to just use her and throw her away that's not cool. Whether she's 17 or 27. But it's going to hurt her more at 17 than 27. Don't be that guy.
If you chat some more and find you genuinely do have something in common and an attraction that goes beyond the pure physical, and you can cope with ppl calling you a perv (because they will), then start dating but take things slow. If things work out between you that's great.
12 years is a big age gap, I think any gap where now or in the near future you are likely to be at different stages in your life in terms of wants (don't want kids, want kids now, don't want more kids etc) is likely to make things very difficult. But that's not to say it's impossible to succeed.
Bear in mind you may fall for her in a very real way and she may well rip your heart out too...0 -
We are all missing the point here.
Too young is officially 150 -
I say it's creepy in writing. But I also say as long as it's legal, love has no age. Good luck, whatever you decide.0
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Definitely not! Let her be young and do the things teenagers do. If you end up in a relationship with her, she is probably going to resent you for it down the line. I'm 30 and I wouldn't dream of dating anyone that young. I mean she just got her driver's license last year!
*this year.0 -
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
Dude, I'm pretty sure he was trolling if the implication of his post was that sex somehow becomes acceptable merely because a girl has started menstruating.
I am Asian and I have never heard anyone condoning that in my generation.0 -
If you call her and you start to see her, be prepared to maybe be her Prom Date ...........she must have time to be the age she is, will you understand that she may want college, university etc?
BTW, my dh and i are a little more than 10 yrs apart.........this could be your " forever love" but at every step, remember she needs to live as a very, very young person, she deserves that.
17 to 19 year old boys probably seem immature to her......be careful of how you approach this.0 -
I'm from Asia. We have a strict policy of old enough to bleed, old enough to breed
This scares me.
Me too. My step daughter is 12 and just hit that point, she certainly isn't mature enough to handle sex or having a baby. Very frightening indeed.
Her body seem to clearly disagree with your assessment. I personally would entertain the thought that people shouldn't be having kids until they are 30 but Mother Nature been around longer than me and doesn't agree with that.0 -
I don't understand why you keep bringing India into this conversation? Did your British empire not rape and pillage them enough that you feel the need to finish the job?
... no i'm expressing my opinion of the things that go on there, i didn't have anything to do with the british empire? i don't reallllly think i'm disallowed an opinion because of something that happened 400 years ago
you mean 80 years?
And you are entitled to the opinion. I genuinely would like to know what India got to do with this conversation cause you mentioned it like a couple of times.
Or do you call all brown people Indian and the mention of India is like a funny racist joke on Taunto that flew over my head and I didn't get it?
Someone said on one of the first pages that she was from india. I think that's how it all started...
Try again, the English gentleman clearly stated that he got India based on looking at the pictures.
ok he's not indian he's clearly......... vietnamese.......... please start an arguement with me i'm dying to see where you're going with this
You are quiet mistaken kind sir; I don't fancy arguing with you, I only wanted to understand where India came from. After your clarification that you stereotyped him as an Indian due to his looks and your vast knowledge of Indians because there are a lot of them where you live. I know understand why you casted him as Indian and preceded to link him to India and rape to crush his credibility.
sex with a child is rape imho
The violent take over and destruction of a sub-continent by an imperialist power is also accurately described as rape in many history books and imho.
and the people who did that are all long gone and at no point did i say it wasn't rape of a country or that it was ok so why is that relevant?0 -
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
Dude, I'm pretty sure he was trolling if the implication of his post was that sex somehow becomes acceptable merely because a girl has started menstruating.
I am Asian and I have never heard anyone condoning that in my generation.
asia has varying cultures in it, to say you're from the same continent so it's unheard of across the board is ridiculous0 -
Society, as in people, are very judgemental and they have been brainwashed into what is ok and what isn't, largely be religions. Even if they're not religious the laws they quote have been influenced by them. In this case something of an irony given the Catholic church scandals going on, but hey ho...
It's especially difficult on an international forum like this as I've known Americans to consider it wholly inappropriate for someone to legally have sex at 16, when their laws say 18. They also find it wrong for ppl to drink at 18, as opposed to 21. But they'll give someone a car at 16. And a gun at 18. Go figure... And we in the UK think 16 is ok for someone to be sexually active, but not 14. Despite the fact that in reality many teens have had sex at that age. But we prefer not to talk about it at the dinner table. If we don't talk about it, it's not happening...
If you are asking if it's ok, then for you, it's not ok.
You clearly care what other people think otherwise you wouldn't be asking.
How would you feel if it was your 17 year old daughter or sister dating a 29 year old? Would you honestly be ok with it? If not, how is it ok for you?
So I don't think you're going to be able to cope with the aggro other ppl are going to give you.
Anyone outside of social "norms" ( a moving target) has to put up with a lot of judgement from other people who like to stick their noses into the business of others in order to distract themselves from their dissatisfaction with their own lives. Until recently this included, and in some circles still includes, any woman dating a younger man, someone in a mixed race relationship, or someone dating someone of the same sex. People will scoff about such things now, but at the time it was a very real problem and a *widely* held belief.
As for the mathematical formula of what is ok and what isn't, that's the biggest pile of c**p I've read in a while.
Half your age plus 7? Why was it not half plus 6? Or half plus 8? There is NOTHING scientific about it. It's purely something for people to quote to try and make their point of view sound authoritative. All it tells me is that they can't think for themselves and weigh up a situation.
She may be very mature at 17, however the odds say it's unlikely. Doesn't mean she isn't outside that "norm", just giving you the odds.
Your intentions may be honourable, let's be clear here, if you're talking about a relationship with her sex comes into this at some point, but if you intend to just use her and throw her away that's not cool. Whether she's 17 or 27. But it's going to hurt her more at 17 than 27. Don't be that guy.
If you chat some more and find you genuinely do have something in common and an attraction that goes beyond the pure physical, and you can cope with ppl calling you a perv (because they will), then start dating but take things slow. If things work out between you that's great.
12 years is a big age gap, I think any gap where now or in the near future you are likely to be at different stages in your life in terms of wants (don't want kids, want kids now, don't want more kids etc) is likely to make things very difficult. But that's not to say it's impossible to succeed.
Bear in mind you may fall for her in a very real way and she may well rip your heart out too...
Well Said!0 -
I don't understand why you keep bringing India into this conversation? Did your British empire not rape and pillage them enough that you feel the need to finish the job?
... no i'm expressing my opinion of the things that go on there, i didn't have anything to do with the british empire? i don't reallllly think i'm disallowed an opinion because of something that happened 400 years ago
you mean 80 years?
And you are entitled to the opinion. I genuinely would like to know what India got to do with this conversation cause you mentioned it like a couple of times.
Or do you call all brown people Indian and the mention of India is like a funny racist joke on Taunto that flew over my head and I didn't get it?
Someone said on one of the first pages that she was from india. I think that's how it all started...
Try again, the English gentleman clearly stated that he got India based on looking at the pictures.
ok he's not indian he's clearly......... vietnamese.......... please start an arguement with me i'm dying to see where you're going with this
You are quiet mistaken kind sir; I don't fancy arguing with you, I only wanted to understand where India came from. After your clarification that you stereotyped him as an Indian due to his looks and your vast knowledge of Indians because there are a lot of them where you live. I know understand why you casted him as Indian and preceded to link him to India and rape to crush his credibility.
sex with a child is rape imho
The violent take over and destruction of a sub-continent by an imperialist power is also accurately described as rape in many history books and imho.
and the people who did that are all long gone and at no point did i say it wasn't rape of a country or that it was ok so why is that relevant?
It goes to the heart of your continued cultural imperialism and justifying it by the fact that you know plenty of "Indians" in your culture, as if those Indians represent the poster you were insulting. I guess they're all "Asian" so it's okay to just lump them into the same category?0 -
I'm from Asia. We have a strict policy of old enough to bleed, old enough to breed
This scares me.
Me too. My step daughter is 12 and just hit that point, she certainly isn't mature enough to handle sex or having a baby. Very frightening indeed.
Her body seem to clearly disagree with your assessment. I personally would entertain the thought that people shouldn't be having kids until they are 30 but Mother Nature been around longer than me and doesn't agree with that.
WTF0 -
Her body seem to clearly disagree with your assessment.
So what exactly?
Simply because you are physically able to do something does not mean you are emotionally or intellectually able to do so.
It's about ensure that children are given sufficient protection not to have an adult exploit what is essentially a position of power (age / experience) to their detriment.
Simply because something is natural does not mean it is automatically right or beneficial.0 -
I'm 29 years old and the other day I met this girl at the gym. We really hit it off! I asked her out for a cup of coffee and she told me she was only 17 years old! She still gave me her number though. Over here in the UK it's ok to date anyone over the age of 16 so I was wondering if it's ok if I call her?
Uh... heh... really?
Young strange and you're getting frilly?0 -
People at 17 I had my own house worked full time an paid my bills! everyone is assuming this gir is immature when she might not be at all, like I said I was in a relationship with a older man and he was the immature one
In the uk you can join the army at 17 I went out partying at this age0 -
I don't understand why you keep bringing India into this conversation? Did your British empire not rape and pillage them enough that you feel the need to finish the job?
... no i'm expressing my opinion of the things that go on there, i didn't have anything to do with the british empire? i don't reallllly think i'm disallowed an opinion because of something that happened 400 years ago
you mean 80 years?
And you are entitled to the opinion. I genuinely would like to know what India got to do with this conversation cause you mentioned it like a couple of times.
Or do you call all brown people Indian and the mention of India is like a funny racist joke on Taunto that flew over my head and I didn't get it?
Someone said on one of the first pages that she was from india. I think that's how it all started...
Try again, the English gentleman clearly stated that he got India based on looking at the pictures.
ok he's not indian he's clearly......... vietnamese.......... please start an arguement with me i'm dying to see where you're going with this
You are quiet mistaken kind sir; I don't fancy arguing with you, I only wanted to understand where India came from. After your clarification that you stereotyped him as an Indian due to his looks and your vast knowledge of Indians because there are a lot of them where you live. I know understand why you casted him as Indian and preceded to link him to India and rape to crush his credibility.
sex with a child is rape imho
The violent take over and destruction of a sub-continent by an imperialist power is also accurately described as rape in many history books and imho.
and the people who did that are all long gone and at no point did i say it wasn't rape of a country or that it was ok so why is that relevant?
It goes to the heart of your continued cultural imperialism and justifying it by the fact that you know plenty of "Indians" in your culture, as if those Indians represent the poster you were insulting. I guess they're all "Asian" so it's okay to just lump them into the same category?
funnily enough my last post above this pretty much directly answers that i don't think of asians as all the same so.... no0 -
I find something very wrong with a grown *kitten* man wanting to date a teen. Her 30 to his 45 is an entirely difference ball game than her 17 to your 30.
Is there something wrong with you, as in: Are you unable to function normally in society?
When I was a teen some weird creepy older guy (who was actually only 26 at the time but to us might as well have been 70) started trying to hang around with our group, seriously, we used to laugh at him to his face & call him creepy behind his back.0 -
Go for it! My husband is 12 and a half years older than I am.
People acting ignorant because they have the anonymity of being on the internet and bashing other cultures because they don't agree with their ancient ways
DAFUQ? I am not acting ignorant nor have I bashed any cultures. The post you quote was my 1st venture onto this topic. Now whose ignorant??0 -
You are quiet mistaken kind sir; I don't fancy arguing with you, I only wanted to understand where India came from. After your clarification that you stereotyped him as an Indian due to his looks and your vast knowledge of Indians because there are a lot of them where you live. I know understand why you casted him as Indian and preceded to link him to India and rape to crush his credibility.
sex with a child is rape imho
Now you are taking your argument to a whole new field.
We can all agree on sex with a child being rape, that is why we have laws in each of our countries that clear state that and define a child.
I personally think child labour is like rape for what it's taking away from the children. But that doesn't give me the right to say everyone using an IPhone helped rape those poor kids in China.
That would be taking my argument to a whole new field.
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
and to add i dont give a rats *kitten* what country he's from what he said was wrong regardless of being culture or not
So what is the magic number that you think they are not a child and more, cause you don't seem to like the evolution/natural age they get.
I like 300 -
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
Dude, I'm pretty sure he was trolling if the implication of his post was that sex somehow becomes acceptable merely because a girl has started menstruating.
I am Asian and I have never heard anyone condoning that in my generation.
asia has varying cultures in it, to say you're from the same continent so it's unheard of across the board is ridiculous
No, I said it's unheard of in my experience so I doubt he was legitimately making that argument.
I never said it was unheard of "across the board." That is your own projection.
By the same token, you could make the same argument of many cultures, including those in the UK. I've heard similar jokes made by English people - do I assume that all English people or the culture therefore is somehow morally bankrupt? No...0 -
People at 17 I had my own house worked full time an paid my bills! everyone is assuming this gir is immature when she might not be at all, like I said I was in a relationship with a older man and he was the immature one
In the uk you can join the army at 17 I went out partying at this age
This has no bearing on anyone else. At 18 I moved out, payed my own bills, etc. Was I as 'grown up' and mature as I am now....no. I feel like even though at the time I felt an adult, there was actually a LOT to learn about life. 17 IS young. Going out partying is no indication of maturity.0 -
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
Dude, I'm pretty sure he was trolling if the implication of his post was that sex somehow becomes acceptable merely because a girl has started menstruating.
I am Asian and I have never heard anyone condoning that in my generation.
asia has varying cultures in it, to say you're from the same continent so it's unheard of across the board is ridiculous
No, I said it's unheard of in my experience so I doubt he was legitimately making that argument.
I never said it was unheard of "across the board." That is your own projection.
By the same token, you could make the same argument of many cultures, including those in the UK. I've heard similar jokes made by English people - do I assume that English people are therefore somehow morally bankrupt? No...
there are alot of morally corrupt people in this country yes, i have no problem admitting that, it's what annoys me about my own country it's why there are bankers with million £ bonuses while children and familes in poverty0 -
no i'm not taking it to another field the guy's credibility was removed when he said if a girl bleeds she can breed, at a very common age being around 13 (sometimes as early as 11 for a girl at my school) that is basicly condoning rape as an entire "culture"
Dude, I'm pretty sure he was trolling if the implication of his post was that sex somehow becomes acceptable merely because a girl has started menstruating.
I am Asian and I have never heard anyone condoning that in my generation.
asia has varying cultures in it, to say you're from the same continent so it's unheard of across the board is ridiculous
No, I said it's unheard of in my experience so I doubt he was legitimately making that argument.
I never said it was unheard of "across the board." That is your own projection.
By the same token, you could make the same argument of many cultures, including those in the UK. I've heard similar jokes made by English people - do I assume that all English people or the culture therefore is somehow morally bankrupt? No...
Excellent, an unknown number of posts sniping back and forth over an obvious (and extremely old) joke.
Well done.
0
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