Eggs make you fat

1235712

Replies

  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    So Twinkies are okay?

    I want to know this too!

    And hohos!

    Both are okay if you make them into smoothies, as when they are liquified the calories can evaporate

    But but... If I mix with with milk then I'll have baby cows inside of me.

    and water comes from the Earth so I'll be the size of Jupiter if I use water.

    So what do I use?
  • lbesaw
    lbesaw Posts: 267 Member
    QUACK-QUACK...you need a new nutritionist--"licensed"
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
    I only trust Dr Oz.

    I only trust Dr. Kreiger

    I only trust Dr. Seuss.

    Yes! Because everything we ever needed to know we learned in kindergarten.
  • ArtGeek22
    ArtGeek22 Posts: 1,429 Member
    It's embarrassing the amount of people who think the OP is being serious. This board is called "chit-chat, fun, and games"...no more explanation should be needed. Mutant, please continue to drop some more knowledge.:noway:

    Thankyou, although I don't know why you think I'm joking? I guess it's hard to convey tone on the Internet. It's almost as if you could say completely outlandish things and people would not know if you were serious or not!

    Anyway I'd like to share my thoughts on 4 6 8 diet. I think it is great except for the part where you eat food. Studies show that food is the leading source of calories.

    I'm also working on a mask to combat air fat. It uses grapefruit oil to burn all the fat before you can breathe it in

    Good luck with your mask and your diet of egg, cheese, and milk, lol :laugh:
  • LadyBee520
    LadyBee520 Posts: 1 Member
    too funny!
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    So Twinkies are okay?

    I want to know this too!

    And hohos!

    Both are okay if you make them into smoothies, as when they are liquified the calories can evaporate

    But but... If I mix with with milk then I'll have baby cows inside of me.

    and water comes from the Earth so I'll be the size of Jupiter if I use water.

    So what do I use?

    Propylene glycol
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    So Twinkies are okay?

    I want to know this too!

    And hohos!

    Both are okay if you make them into smoothies, as when they are liquified the calories can evaporate

    But but... If I mix with with milk then I'll have baby cows inside of me.

    and water comes from the Earth so I'll be the size of Jupiter if I use water.

    So what do I use?

    Coke zero
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
    Then I'm claiming that eating a seed is like eating a whole plant and eating escargo is like eating the whole fish.

    That is very interesting. Would you like to write the foreword for my next journal? I sent it to Stephen Hawking for peer review and he said it could "barely be called pseudoscience"

    I think that means I am close to the truth

    DAMN! this chick is on FIRE!!! Marry me. I got a 401K and dental.

    Thanks for the offer but as you will read in my "predictive autobiography"
    'How I Solved The GFC, Got A Nobel Prize, Did It With Mila Kunis And Finished Bioshock Infinite In One Day' -I'm taken

    I understand you might be taken. But you are not only beautiful, but super smart as well! Do you have room for 1 more MFP stalker?
  • Nerdphiliac
    Nerdphiliac Posts: 136 Member
    Did you know that only eating whites doesn't make a difference?

    I'm going to drop a little science here so don't be too intimidated, I took human biology in high school so I know what I'm talking about.

    Eggs are "porous" which means they have holes in them, and absorb stuff from the environment.
    The problem is that when you keep eggs in your kitchen they are exposed to 'air fats'

    Air fats occur when you cook the fat out of things in the kitchen, like a steak. That fat you cook has to go somewhere right?

    So it floats around in the air and if you leave eggs uncovered the air fats get inside and make your eggs like 20000 calories each!

    That's why I cook everything outside on a hot rock, that way the air fats go into the ozone and make global warming happen

    You have got to be kidding me, right?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    so we should live entirely on margarine and e numbers then. Okay. What about boiled sweets? are they okay? Sugar comes from living things, but everything other than the pure sugar has been stripped away and e numbers added, so that should be okay, shouldn't it? what does your nutritionist say? can I get my chakras realigned via email?

    Boiled sweets are fine, it's been boiled do the calories are sterilised. My nutritionist isn't qualified in Chakra Realignment but my Emotional Health Manager is

    Oh that's great :) sterilised calories. can you ask your emotional health manager if he or she can realign my chakras? Also, is it like getting the wheels balanced and camber realigned on the car? except with chakras? Is there a mystic version of getting your spark plugs cleaned? I mean metaphorically speaking as I'm a human and not a car.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Did you know that only eating whites doesn't make a difference?

    I'm going to drop a little science here so don't be too intimidated, I took human biology in high school so I know what I'm talking about.

    Eggs are "porous" which means they have holes in them, and absorb stuff from the environment.
    The problem is that when you keep eggs in your kitchen they are exposed to 'air fats'

    Air fats occur when you cook the fat out of things in the kitchen, like a steak. That fat you cook has to go somewhere right?

    So it floats around in the air and if you leave eggs uncovered the air fats get inside and make your eggs like 20000 calories each!

    That's why I cook everything outside on a hot rock, that way the air fats go into the ozone and make global warming happen

    You have got to be kidding me, right?

    no serious as a heart attack.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Then I'm claiming that eating a seed is like eating a whole plant and eating escargo is like eating the whole fish.

    That is very interesting. Would you like to write the foreword for my next journal? I sent it to Stephen Hawking for peer review and he said it could "barely be called pseudoscience"

    I think that means I am close to the truth

    DAMN! this chick is on FIRE!!! Marry me. I got a 401K and dental.

    Thanks for the offer but as you will read in my "predictive autobiography"
    'How I Solved The GFC, Got A Nobel Prize, Did It With Mila Kunis And Finished Bioshock Infinite In One Day' -I'm taken

    I understand you might be taken. But you are not only beautiful, but super smart as well! Do you have room for 1 more MFP stalker?

    You left out "superhumanly strong and brilliant at scrabble" but sure.
  • cpudoc64
    cpudoc64 Posts: 135
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    Soylent Green anyone?
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    so we should live entirely on margarine and e numbers then. Okay. What about boiled sweets? are they okay? Sugar comes from living things, but everything other than the pure sugar has been stripped away and e numbers added, so that should be okay, shouldn't it? what does your nutritionist say? can I get my chakras realigned via email?

    Boiled sweets are fine, it's been boiled do the calories are sterilised. My nutritionist isn't qualified in Chakra Realignment but my Emotional Health Manager is

    Oh that's great :) sterilised calories. can you ask your emotional health manager if he or she can realign my chakras? Also, is it like getting the wheels balanced and camber realigned on the car? except with chakras? Is there a mystic version of getting your spark plugs cleaned? I mean metaphorically speaking as I'm a human and not a car.

    I hear Al Gore knows a good one. Just watch your hands, you dirty *kitten*.
  • Rhiana1188
    Rhiana1188 Posts: 67 Member
    This is by far the best thread I've read all day...:laugh:
  • Dunkirk
    Dunkirk Posts: 465 Member
    I only trust Dr Oz.

    I only trust Dr. Kreiger
    [/quote

    ]I recommend Dr Seuss
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
    Hi guys

    Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

    Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
    So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

    My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


    P.S drink Shakeology

    well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

    ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

    WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

    DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

    Soylent Green anyone?

    I guess you haven't heard.....
  • TesselCat
    TesselCat Posts: 74
    Cadbury Creme Eggs aren't much better... one of those is the equivalent of a rabbit....
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
    I only trust Dr Oz.

    I only trust Dr. Kreiger

    I only trust Dr. Seuss.

    What about Dr. Kevorkian?

    He had shots that made weight loss super easy!
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    :bigsmile:

    Biggest laugh of the day.
  • BlackEyedPanda
    BlackEyedPanda Posts: 86 Member
    By the same token, women who swallow are man-eaters.
    Well that solves the age old 'can vegans swallow sperm' question then.
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    Dr pepper for me

    ETA original quotes got lost in space. Dr pepper is the dr I trust.
  • Dunkirk
    Dunkirk Posts: 465 Member
    Dr Seuss recommends Green Eggs and Ham.
  • FUELERDUDE
    FUELERDUDE Posts: 150 Member
    Not 100% about that information - I tend to eat only the egg whites

    I beleive that will only count as half chickens then.
  • Azexas
    Azexas Posts: 4,334 Member
    Cadbury Creme Eggs

    beat me to it. :laugh:
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member

    You left out "superhumanly strong and brilliant at scrabble" but sure.

    Please forgive the oversite, but I have just started stalking you :)
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    so we should live entirely on margarine and e numbers then. Okay. What about boiled sweets? are they okay? Sugar comes from living things, but everything other than the pure sugar has been stripped away and e numbers added, so that should be okay, shouldn't it? what does your nutritionist say? can I get my chakras realigned via email?
    I guess I should post my recipe for "square root of negative five soup."
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Dr pepper for me

    ETA original quotes got lost in space. Dr pepper is the dr I trust.
    Dr Smith?
  • jayche
    jayche Posts: 1,128 Member
    Eating a human fetus is the caloric equivalent to eating a 300 lb male bodybuilder because they're both human.
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    depends on your blood type, it makes a difference
    For me my blood type is AB- so I need to stay away from chickens
    It is not good for my blood type