Eggs make you fat

mrphil86

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

So Twinkies are okay?

I want to know this too!

And hohos!

Both are okay if you make them into smoothies, as when they are liquified the calories can evaporate

But but... If I mix with with milk then I'll have baby cows inside of me.

and water comes from the Earth so I'll be the size of Jupiter if I use water.

So what do I use?

lbesaw

QUACK-QUACK...you need a new nutritionist--"licensed"

janegalt37

I only trust Dr Oz.

I only trust Dr. Kreiger

I only trust Dr. Seuss.

Yes! Because everything we ever needed to know we learned in kindergarten.

ArtGeek22

It's embarrassing the amount of people who think the OP is being serious. This board is called "chit-chat, fun, and games"...no more explanation should be needed. Mutant, please continue to drop some more knowledge.:noway:

Thankyou, although I don't know why you think I'm joking? I guess it's hard to convey tone on the Internet. It's almost as if you could say completely outlandish things and people would not know if you were serious or not!

Anyway I'd like to share my thoughts on 4 6 8 diet. I think it is great except for the part where you eat food. Studies show that food is the leading source of calories.

I'm also working on a mask to combat air fat. It uses grapefruit oil to burn all the fat before you can breathe it in

Good luck with your mask and your diet of egg, cheese, and milk, lol :laugh:

LadyBee520

too funny!

janegalt37

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

So Twinkies are okay?

I want to know this too!

And hohos!

Both are okay if you make them into smoothies, as when they are liquified the calories can evaporate

But but... If I mix with with milk then I'll have baby cows inside of me.

and water comes from the Earth so I'll be the size of Jupiter if I use water.

So what do I use?

Propylene glycol

Mutant13

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

So Twinkies are okay?

I want to know this too!

And hohos!

Both are okay if you make them into smoothies, as when they are liquified the calories can evaporate

But but... If I mix with with milk then I'll have baby cows inside of me.

and water comes from the Earth so I'll be the size of Jupiter if I use water.

So what do I use?

Coke zero

bellygoaway

Then I'm claiming that eating a seed is like eating a whole plant and eating escargo is like eating the whole fish.

That is very interesting. Would you like to write the foreword for my next journal? I sent it to Stephen Hawking for peer review and he said it could "barely be called pseudoscience"

I think that means I am close to the truth

DAMN! this chick is on FIRE!!! Marry me. I got a 401K and dental.

Thanks for the offer but as you will read in my "predictive autobiography"
'How I Solved The GFC, Got A Nobel Prize, Did It With Mila Kunis And Finished Bioshock Infinite In One Day' -I'm taken

I understand you might be taken. But you are not only beautiful, but super smart as well! Do you have room for 1 more MFP stalker?

Nerdphiliac

Did you know that only eating whites doesn't make a difference?

I'm going to drop a little science here so don't be too intimidated, I took human biology in high school so I know what I'm talking about.

Eggs are "porous" which means they have holes in them, and absorb stuff from the environment.
The problem is that when you keep eggs in your kitchen they are exposed to 'air fats'

Air fats occur when you cook the fat out of things in the kitchen, like a steak. That fat you cook has to go somewhere right?

So it floats around in the air and if you leave eggs uncovered the air fats get inside and make your eggs like 20000 calories each!

That's why I cook everything outside on a hot rock, that way the air fats go into the ozone and make global warming happen

You have got to be kidding me, right?

neandermagnon

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

so we should live entirely on margarine and e numbers then. Okay. What about boiled sweets? are they okay? Sugar comes from living things, but everything other than the pure sugar has been stripped away and e numbers added, so that should be okay, shouldn't it? what does your nutritionist say? can I get my chakras realigned via email?

Boiled sweets are fine, it's been boiled do the calories are sterilised. My nutritionist isn't qualified in Chakra Realignment but my Emotional Health Manager is

Oh that's great sterilised calories. can you ask your emotional health manager if he or she can realign my chakras? Also, is it like getting the wheels balanced and camber realigned on the car? except with chakras? Is there a mystic version of getting your spark plugs cleaned? I mean metaphorically speaking as I'm a human and not a car.

NormInv

Did you know that only eating whites doesn't make a difference?

I'm going to drop a little science here so don't be too intimidated, I took human biology in high school so I know what I'm talking about.

Eggs are "porous" which means they have holes in them, and absorb stuff from the environment.
The problem is that when you keep eggs in your kitchen they are exposed to 'air fats'

Air fats occur when you cook the fat out of things in the kitchen, like a steak. That fat you cook has to go somewhere right?

So it floats around in the air and if you leave eggs uncovered the air fats get inside and make your eggs like 20000 calories each!

That's why I cook everything outside on a hot rock, that way the air fats go into the ozone and make global warming happen

You have got to be kidding me, right?

no serious as a heart attack.

Mutant13

Then I'm claiming that eating a seed is like eating a whole plant and eating escargo is like eating the whole fish.

That is very interesting. Would you like to write the foreword for my next journal? I sent it to Stephen Hawking for peer review and he said it could "barely be called pseudoscience"

I think that means I am close to the truth

DAMN! this chick is on FIRE!!! Marry me. I got a 401K and dental.

Thanks for the offer but as you will read in my "predictive autobiography"
'How I Solved The GFC, Got A Nobel Prize, Did It With Mila Kunis And Finished Bioshock Infinite In One Day' -I'm taken

I understand you might be taken. But you are not only beautiful, but super smart as well! Do you have room for 1 more MFP stalker?

You left out "superhumanly strong and brilliant at scrabble" but sure.

cpudoc64

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

Soylent Green anyone?

janegalt37

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

so we should live entirely on margarine and e numbers then. Okay. What about boiled sweets? are they okay? Sugar comes from living things, but everything other than the pure sugar has been stripped away and e numbers added, so that should be okay, shouldn't it? what does your nutritionist say? can I get my chakras realigned via email?

Boiled sweets are fine, it's been boiled do the calories are sterilised. My nutritionist isn't qualified in Chakra Realignment but my Emotional Health Manager is

Oh that's great sterilised calories. can you ask your emotional health manager if he or she can realign my chakras? Also, is it like getting the wheels balanced and camber realigned on the car? except with chakras? Is there a mystic version of getting your spark plugs cleaned? I mean metaphorically speaking as I'm a human and not a car.

I hear Al Gore knows a good one. Just watch your hands, you dirty *kitten*.

Rhiana1188

This is by far the best thread I've read all day...:laugh:

Dunkirk

I only trust Dr Oz.

I only trust Dr. Kreiger
[/quote

]I recommend Dr Seuss

janegalt37

Hi guys

Just wanted to share something my nutritionist told me.

Eggs make you fat because if you understand biology, 1 egg=1 chicken.
So have 2 eggs for breakfast is EXACTLY THE SAME as eating 2 whole chickens! It's science?

My sources on this are good because my nutritionist did a 6 week course at the Y.


P.S drink Shakeology

well clearly that's why grains make you fat too. because if you plant a single grain in the ground, it grows into a huge plant, so if you eat like 200 or so grains at a sitting... you know think how many grains of rice you'd eat in one serving of curry and rice, or how many grains of wheat make up a loaf of bread.... well each of those grains is a whole entire plant....

ALSO the DNA in every single cell contain the entire instructions to make a complete adult individual of that species, and everything we eat is a living thing made of cells, so it all contains DNA so it's like every cell we eat is like eating a whole entire adult animal, like if you eat a beef steak that's millions of cells so it's like eating millions of cows at one sitting............ no wonder there's an obesity epidemic...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaagggghhhh!!!!! *runs around like headless chicken*

DUH! That's why nobody should ever eat anything that grows in the ground, was born or is generally naturally occurring!

Soylent Green anyone?

I guess you haven't heard.....

TesselCat

Cadbury Creme Eggs aren't much better... one of those is the equivalent of a rabbit....

mrphil86

I only trust Dr Oz.

I only trust Dr. Kreiger

I only trust Dr. Seuss.

What about Dr. Kevorkian?

He had shots that made weight loss super easy!

darrensurrey

:bigsmile:

Biggest laugh of the day.