My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)

Daysednconfused

At 19, aren't you a little young to be so condescending?

kaycevaughan

Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.

I agree. And we're all on this fitness journey; we're all going to have bad days and we need support and motivation from our friends (and no I'm not saying whine about it but it's okay to okay when you're having a bad day).

kaycevaughan

Okay to post*

pollyineedtobeskinny

I agree with everything here, minus the depressed part. If they are being dramatic then fair enough, but if they generally are depressed and suffer with depression, I wouldn't tell them to suck it up. Otherwise, WELL SAID :happy:

cuterbee

I remember being 19, but I think I had more compassion than you do, OP; maybe not, though, I was pretty clueless in a lot of ways.*

I'll exercise when my doctor says I can. In the meantime, I'm dealing with pain like you wouldn't believe (many days, it's 8 or 9 on a scale of 1-10, and it never goes below a 5)...and the pain I have now is worse than the time the dentist drilled my tooth with no anesthesia, and it's worse than natural childbirth (which I've also had, and was actually rather nice, BTW).

Still managing to lose some weight though. Most everyone goes through some denial when they are overweight, and some never get past that. That's their business. Sometimes you just have to listen until people are ready. If it bothers you, then just change the subject.


*I know that some people never get past being clueless; when I worked in oncology, the relatives/friends of my cancer patients would say some incredibly crappy things about my patients' appearance after facial surgery. OMG. Such amazing, careless cruelty.

krebsi

i agree! totally!!! i have a case like this with a good friend...

in regards to the dpressed bit, i dont think we are talking about seriously ill people but i do have some girls at work where you hear, oh the weather is so depressing i wont go out at all... bla bla...

its people saying they feel depressed not people which are actually depressed (if that makes sense)

skinnylynnie74

ADD and depression are kept at bay with proper nutrition and exercise

Gailtdoa

Aside from real depression, I'm not talking about the lazy don't feel like moving feeling you get from being overweight and out of shape that is often confused with depression, I agree with it all!!!! I love the excuse, eating Healthy is too expensive, of course it costs more than junk food, healthy food is actually food. You wind up spending less though, because you don't have to eat as much healthy food to feel full and energized.

KimberlyAndrews1

I agree with most all of it, EXCEPT about depression and sucking it up. As someone who deals with depression on a regular basis, just sucking it up is not an option. Oh how I wish it was. I've dealt with it on & off most of my life. Some days are more difficult than others. Exercise is extremely difficult for someone with depression. You have to fight really hard to pull out of it and sometimes the meds you take certainly doesn't help. BUT I do agree that exercising does help you feel better when you have depression. I was in a Couch to 5K program last fall and made it half way through the 12 weeks until I got a stress fracture to my ankle. But during the time I was running, I felt so much better and had a great sense of accomplishment. It's extremely hard with depression, but not impossible.

florulent

Hate breeds hate. I don't see the point of this thread. I'm not overly-sensitive, I just believe that everything should be looked at from all perspectives without coming to harsh conclusions. Everyone has made excuses. Just encourage them, and hopefully they'll grow out of it. The hate won't stop a thing.

FrnkLft

Yeah I completely agree. I don't think people do it on purpose, but it's just like when your parents would see through the bull**** and make you do something anyhow. It was NEVER that bad when you just did it.

Venting is one thing, allowing yourself to make excuses or not dealing with important issues is another.

Seriously consider this... the only reason you're able to complain about being fat and not exercising is because you were born in today's world... how ridiculous would you seem if you were born even a century ago where you didn't have the luxury of being sedentary or fat. It's a sorry 1st world problem, just get up and move.

Seaglass1123

I love when people say "what's the secret" haha eating right and exercise.....can you imagine THAT?!?

Lisah8969

My mantra is, "You can make excuses, or you can make progress."

LOVE THIS!!! I need to get it tattooed on a friend of mine!

hummingbird71

Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.

I have agree with this one too... My sister suffers from depression... it is NOT something that they can just "suck it up".

BUT I do agree with everything else, because the same sister has given me I do believe ALL THOSE excuses before as to why she can not or will not lose weight.

halflife1978

I didn't read the whole thread so apologies if someone already pointed this out...

Presumably the OP is here because, for a significant part of their adult life, they were unable to suck it up and get off their lazy backside and do something about it???

Maybe I'm wrong?

Sometimes folks like to jump on here and fat-shame in order to make sure that people know they feel superior to someone else.

AllonsYtotheTardis

My all time favorite is...."It is my TOM, and I feel bloated and have no energy....so I can't work out."....Toughen up!

Meh. Excruciating pain is what keeps me from exercising on the rag. But I get where it could be frustrating if someone decided to keep putting off starting a healthy lifestyle until the end of their next period.

I'm lucky - all of my overweight friends make no bones about the fact that they just don't want to put in the work. Even the ones who are misinformed still end the statement with "But I'm just too lazy right now." And we smile and laugh and they grab a doughnut and I grab an apple and everything's cool.

you have cool friends

alwayskungfu

Please don't judge other people until you have walked a few miles in there shoes my friends:glasses:

OllyReeves

I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!

"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"

Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!

I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!

Maybe instead of coming on here preaching and sitting waiting to get your back slapped, you could tell it to the people you're talking about.

There is always the option of not talkign to these people that obviously annoy you, and the other option of just minding your own business.

I absolutely love when people use the disclaimer 'if you're overly sensitive don't read' just to be unnecessarily rude.

I read your about me on your profile page, and you said people don't believe you're 19 because you're soooooo mature.

I don't believe it either. You sound like a 14 year old brat. Don't be over sensitive now!

Laura42012

We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.

very true!

True.

The difference between us and them is that we've stopped making excuses and are just doing it.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Come back in 10 years when you have matured a little.

corisg

The people making those excuses are not ready to change their life. Most peole were saying the same excuses at some point in their life. Why would you let it bother you????

SadKitty27

Here's the problem...Some people have issues in which might need some therapy to get going. Not everyone is living their life for your personal approval, and not everyone is looking for your sympathy.

Some people are emotional eaters, and berating them, and treating them like a drill sergeant is not the answer. In fact, it makes their problem much worse. As stupid as it sounds, have you ever seen the Austin Powers movies? Do you recall the part where fat *kitten* says "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat?" I know the entire movie was in jest, but seriously there is much truth to what he said.

Source for those who don't recall :
http://youtu.be/DH5TMCR8etc

Also, some people have social anxiety disorders (myself included - yes, I was diagnosed by a professional ) which makes it hard to just go out and do it..Personally, I suffer from physical symptoms when I'm put in social situations in which I'm not comfortable with (elevated bp, sweating, etc...) Being incredibly socially awkward does not help either.

What makes it worse is when you do work up the nerve to go to the gym or do a zumba class or something and people make fun of you for your weight....at the gym no less....You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't...It makes people like us want to give up which leads back to what I said previously .

Oh, and yes I've been made fun of many times at the gym. People are down right cruel.

Additionally, someone who is depressed does not need someone barking at them to suck it up; it's just not that simple, and again, will make their issues worse. I speak from experience as I was also diagnosed with clinical depression some time ago as well.

It might be hard for someone who doesn't have these problems to understand - especially at your young age, but these are things that shouldn't be dismissed. Consider yourself lucky to not have to live with depression or social anxiety disorders.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm trying not being overly sensitive about your comment considering the source ( it's just a comment from a random young person, with few life experiences, or perhaps wasn't taught any better on an online forum,) and honestly it could apply to some people, but it most certainly does not apply to all.

What really compelled me to comment on your thread is that this type of behavior/comments made to people you see in person during everyday life can really be damaging to already fragile individual, and could possibly set them back in terms of not only weight loss, but in other aspects as well.

It can be a lot more harmful than you know, because it's not always as simple as "sucking it up."

lorib75

You have a valid point. I think I could have probably finished reading it if you had stopped using "than" for the word "then".....

JUST SAYIN'

kspexet

I agree. Since when does putting people down, motivate them to change. Let's try to be supportive.

KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON

Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.

^^^ agree

jeshhh

Sex has been proven to enhance mood with other benefits :P PLUS it's awesome and you could log it as circuit training.

THIS is how people log sex? Noted. And noted again.

mjh0311

Why is this in motivation and support? I don't see how this is either one of those. You're a *****. Sorry if I offended you. Don't read it if you don't like it.

toaster6

The only thing that annoys me is when someone tells me they want to lose weight, ask me what I did/ what I suggest they do/ if I'll help them, then completely disregard what I say or act like I must be lying to them. Otherwise, I don't care.

OllyReeves

Why is this in motivation and support? I don't see how this is either one of those. You're a *****. Sorry if I offended you. Don't read it if you don't like it.

There is NOTHING in this comment that I can disagree with. Well said. Gosh I hate self satisfied smug people

salgalbp

Hey OP, I'm not overly sensitive but I am compassionate and empathetic to folks who struggle with anything in life.

From your profile you state that at such a young age you've made some bad (your word) decisions in your life. At some point you decided to change your decision making process and make healthier choices which is to be commended.

My question to you is how is it possible from someone who has struggled in life to condem others who are struggling with their own choices/decision making who've not yet made the decision to change their lives? Seek help? Seek a new way?

Everyone is very different, your way is not my way, your right is not my right, your great is not my great. A bite of humble pie (low cal) of course I think is in order for you young lady. Your best route is to simply lead a great life. A health life. So that others may use your success as an example and motivator for themselves.

I'm guessing that your post would be a HUGE turn off to many people who love you, who support you and who want to follow in your foot steps. I'm not sure how many people would want to start losing weight and get healthy just to become arrogant and spiteful.

Best of luck to you
Sal