My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)
Replies
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I am honestly confused at all the "Mind your own business, OP!" posts. OP says right off the bat that they are tired of these excuses coming from people who constantly say they want or need to lose weight, not just people who they know who happen to be fat. I get impatient with those people too. I don't care if a person does not want to lose weight-- if a person is happy with themselves that's fine and good. That doesn't affect anyone. But if someone is constantly telling you they want or need something and keep making excuses (excluding actual depression, duh-- depression is a reason, not an excuse. There is a big difference between the two)? That is a pain. And telling your friends and family so doesn't make you a bad person.0
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Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.
Agreed. Completely. There is actually scientific evidence that depression is a debilitating medical problem. It can be very difficult for people to overcome. I am not clinically depressed, but I do have Lupus, and there are simply some days where I cannot muster the energy, the ability, or the strength to work out. It just doesn't happen. It's not an excuse, it's my reality. I want to get healthy and fit, and as a part of that, I have to respect that my body just sometimes CAN'T. And then I have to ride it out and wait for the time when my body CAN. I have seen multiple studies that show that depression can have that same debilitating impact.
There are SOME really stupid excuses out there for not working out. I 100% agree that a gym membership is NOT necessary to work. I do NOT have a gym membership and I still manage to work out 4-5 days a week on weeks where my body will cooperate. I also do not have a lot of money (ummm, because I spend it all on the rheumatologist and nephrologist so I don't DIE) and I still manage to eat healthy on a regular basis.
I also noticed on this thread that some guy said that he deleted someone for saying that their shampoo and hair products were affecting their weight loss. While this can be a lame excuse, it can also be TRUE. If you are using products with propylene glycol in them, and you happen to have an allergy (about 45% of people are actually allergic to this ingredient) then it can cause inflammation in your body by getting into your hair follicles and distributing through your body. The solution of course is to change your products to something natural and it's not an excuse, but it can take months for that to work out of your system completely.
I still think that it is very important for people to understand that unless you are educated in immunology, rheumatology, nephrology, oncology, and psychology, then you likely have NO CLUE what is a real reason for not working out or eating healthy and what isn't.
The bigger question is why you spend so much time worrying about other people's reasons to be or not to be. Do you really need to control everyone? Or bring them down? Does it make you feel good to do that?
Instead, when you hear an excuse, why you don't you say something POSITIVE to help MOTIVATE that person???
When I hear someone say, "I'm too depressed to work out." I make positive suggestions to help them get some energy. Well, maybe try just sitting outside in the sun for a little bit and see if it helps. Or, What helps make you feel better? What used to make you feel good? Let's try that. Being decent to a person having a hard time is not that difficult. You may see it as an excuse, but they have a tremendous barrier in front of them. And being a bully is a demotivator.
So try a little tenderness.0 -
OK. Now that I have the emotional response out of my system, let me try teaching you about the stages of change. In healthcare, we work with our patients to affect changes in their life and their health behavior. We know that there are five stages to behavior change:
- Pre-contmeplation: Characterized by avoidance. Not considering change or seeing the problem.
- Contmeplation: Acknowledging that there is a problem and having ambivalent feelings about change. This is where the pros and cons are weighed.
- Preparation/Determination: Taking steps and getting ready for change
- Action/Willpower: making the change and living the new behaviors. This is where the behaviors become all consuming.
- Maintenance: Maintaining the change and the behavior is now incorporated in your life.
It sounds to me like your "friends" are in the contemplation stage. That being said, they need your encouragement and gentle guidance to move into the preparation/determination stage. It is counterproductive to attack them at this stage. It doesn't help them to move forward and may instead push them back into precontmeplation. If you want to be a true friend, you should consider asking them leading questions that help them to see the pros outweigh the cons, and help them to develop their own solutions to thier problems (which are very real to them if not you).0 -
My mantra is, "You can make excuses, or you can make progress."
^^ Love this!0 -
Love this! I get aggravated too when people think they can lose weight simply by being on a restricted diet. WORK OUT PEOPLE! It feels GOOD!0
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I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!
"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"
Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!
I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!!
Make today great, everyone!
Maybe instead of coming on here preaching and sitting waiting to get your back slapped, you could tell it to the people you're talking about.
There is always the option of not talkign to these people that obviously annoy you, and the other option of just minding your own business.
I absolutely love when people use the disclaimer 'if you're overly sensitive don't read' just to be unnecessarily rude.
I read your about me on your profile page, and you said people don't believe you're 19 because you're soooooo mature.
I don't believe it either. You sound like a 14 year old brat. Don't be over sensitive now!
lol ouch. And also: tell her!0 -
I absolutely love when people use the disclaimer 'if you're overly sensitive don't read' just to be unnecessarily rude.
I read your about me on your profile page, and you said people don't believe you're 19 because you're soooooo mature.
I don't believe it either. You sound like a 14 year old brat. Don't be over sensitive now!
I thought the same thing. Except I think you give her too much credit by letting her be 14.0 -
lol @ caring what other people do with their lives.
this.
hmm. empathy, kindness, helping others, love...nah, guess we don't need those.0 -
OK. Now that I have the emotional response out of my system, let me try teaching you about the stages of change. In healthcare, we work with our patients to affect changes in their life and their health behavior. We know that there are five stages to behavior change:
- Pre-contmeplation: Characterized by avoidance. Not considering change or seeing the problem.
- Contmeplation: Acknowledging that there is a problem and having ambivalent feelings about change. This is where the pros and cons are weighed.
- Preparation/Determination: Taking steps and getting ready for change
- Action/Willpower: making the change and living the new behaviors. This is where the behaviors become all consuming.
- Maintenance: Maintaining the change and the behavior is now incorporated in your life.
It sounds to me like your "friends" are in the contemplation stage. That being said, they need your encouragement and gentle guidance to move into the preparation/determination stage. It is counterproductive to attack them at this stage. It doesn't help them to move forward and may instead push them back into precontmeplation. If you want to be a true friend, you should consider asking them leading questions that help them to see the pros outweigh the cons, and help them to develop their own solutions to thier problems (which are very real to them if not you).
^^^Makes me happy to know you.0 -
lol @ caring what other people do with their lives.
this.
hmm. empathy, kindness, helping others, love...nah, guess we don't need those.
Because the initial post had ANY of those?0 -
High five my brotha! Well said, to people who can't workout, YOU GOT FEET DON'T YA?! GO RUN AROUND THE BLOCK!?! Can't run? Power walk! Can't power walk? Wheel chair yourself around... Get active and DO SOMETHING!!! >:D0
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Yes what you say is true but people work things our differently. Some people need encouragement and come to MFP to get it.
You don't have to listen or give it to them. IMO you are a little sensitive yourself about this subject. Maybe you where there
once. I just don't believe negativity helps anyone move forward. Maybe these people just need lifted up to get on the right path. Or need some insight on how to start or a kick in the butt to get started. You don't have to listen to them if you don't want to hear their excuses. IMO0 -
Love the mantra:
"You can make excuses, or you can make progress."0 -
Love this! I get aggravated too when people think they can lose weight simply by being on a restricted diet. WORK OUT PEOPLE! It feels GOOD!
Actually, I feel horrible after I work out. I try to work out 20-30 minutes a day when I can stand being sick for 10-15 minutes following. I never experience the high others feel. Can't find anything wrong with me -- so maybe recognize YOU feel good. YOU. Focus on YOU.0 -
Why is this in motivation and support? I don't see how this is either one of those. You're a *****. Sorry if I offended you. Don't read it if you don't like it.
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Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.
Agreed. Everyone starts somewhere and until they decide to take that step, there will be excuses. I believe most of can understand this because a lot of us have been that person.
I agree. We've all been there. Done that. I've got everything right now - nutrition, exercise, even my water & sleep - but I haven't always been in this sweet spot & I know how difficult it can be to get there.
Not everyone has the perfect mind-set and/or habits at the same time. It can be difficult to make those changes and there will be moaning, groaning, complaining & struggling along the way. We can be supportive and encouraging or we can just ignore threads on the subject.0 -
I don't need a gym, either. I do workouts in my own home - low impact, as I live on the second floor and do not wish to get into a pissing match with my neighbors about noise.
Where I live we recently had 3 snowstorms drop over 3 feet of snow inside a month. Underneath that snow there was ice. A lot of it. There are no sidewalks where I live. Perhaps you feel a broken ankle might be conducive to your fitness goal. I've found it's awfully hard to exercise with a broken ankle.
The apartment complex I live in also has hookers and meth dealers that like hanging around in the parking lot. Come visit me. We'll take a walk around the block sometime.
Please bring a gun.
Can I come visit too?
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I think that literally EVERYONE can make themselves healthier. But there ARE a lot of things in their way. Many of these things are in their mind.
Depression, hopelessness, the illusion that they are so busy that they simply cannot fit something else into their life - which is usually due to stress.
These hurdles are a part of the battle to achieve health and confidence, and the solution to get over these hurdles isn't necessarily the same for everyone. For some people, they might a swift kick in the rear end - like the OP was doing. Other people need someone to talk to them and encourage them, still others need clinical assistance to help battle their depression. There are all sorts of things.
The one thing that I think will always be the case, is that EVERY person, no matter WHAT their situation, DOES have the capacity to improve their health. It is a thing that CAN be achieved.0 -
Telling a depressed person to "suck it up" is a bit insensitive.0
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I absolutely love when people use the disclaimer 'if you're overly sensitive don't read' just to be unnecessarily rude.
I read your about me on your profile page, and you said people don't believe you're 19 because you're soooooo mature.
I don't believe it either. You sound like a 14 year old brat. Don't be over sensitive now!
I thought the same thing. Except I think you give her too much credit by letting her be 14.
I remember being 14 and also saying I was mature for my age... I guess that's when you come to realize... You really aren't.0 -
Sex has been proven to enhance mood with other benefits :P PLUS it's awesome and you could log it as circuit training.
You can log sex? I looked for it....but I guess in the wrong place.
Circuit training huh..ok..
And now wait for the comments....
Meh. You gotta have it first. Don't look at my diary.0 -
Dear OP,
Many people find it really hard to take advice from someone who lacks even a rudimentary understanding of spelling, punctuation, and grammar rules.
In addition, come talk to us when you aren't a 19 year old know-it-all. You have NO FRELLING CLUE what other people have gone through in their lives. While for the majority of the people (yourself included, apparently) it's just a matter of getting off their *kitten* and getting it done. For other people...people who struggle with past abuse, self-esteem issues, addiction issues, working 80 hours a week to support a family...well, it's not quite that simple.
You don't want to support the "whiners"? Fine. Don't. However, posting a wall of text bashing people who post their struggles is just frelling rude.
Just my opinion. :flowerforyou:0 -
Since I know you love kitties and maybe want some affirmation of your opinions of how others should live:
Aww. It's a real thread now!0 -
OP spends far too much energy caring about other people's lives judging by her recent posts.0
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Dearest OP,
Have you reached your goals yet? If not, what's your excuse?0 -
Oh. She's 19? I should learn to check things like that before answering. Never mind.0
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And what is it with the 19-20 something mothers who want to give so much advice about life on this site? SMH0
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And what is it with the 19-20 something mothers who want to give so much advice about life on this site? SMH
Right, they haven't even had time to work full time, get married, have a kid, or two, or three, or four, money issues, layoffs, home repairs, car repairs, death of loved ones, ill health...
Come see me when you're 51 and we'll hear what tune you're singing then.
Disclaimer: I am 51 and a non-complainer, but old enough to recognize you can't bully someone into better health. You can encourage and motivate, and sympathize or empathize, but not browbeat and bully, unless of course they're paying you for that.0 -
Aside from telling someone who is depressed to "suck it up", I agree with it all.
Agreed. Completely. There is actually scientific evidence that depression is a debilitating medical problem. It can be very difficult for people to overcome. I am not clinically depressed, but I do have Lupus, and there are simply some days where I cannot muster the energy, the ability, or the strength to work out. It just doesn't happen. It's not an excuse, it's my reality. I want to get healthy and fit, and as a part of that, I have to respect that my body just sometimes CAN'T. And then I have to ride it out and wait for the time when my body CAN. I have seen multiple studies that show that depression can have that same debilitating impact.
There are SOME really stupid excuses out there for not working out. I 100% agree that a gym membership is NOT necessary to work. I do NOT have a gym membership and I still manage to work out 4-5 days a week on weeks where my body will cooperate. I also do not have a lot of money (ummm, because I spend it all on the rheumatologist and nephrologist so I don't DIE) and I still manage to eat healthy on a regular basis.
I also noticed on this thread that some guy said that he deleted someone for saying that their shampoo and hair products were affecting their weight loss. While this can be a lame excuse, it can also be TRUE. If you are using products with propylene glycol in them, and you happen to have an allergy (about 45% of people are actually allergic to this ingredient) then it can cause inflammation in your body by getting into your hair follicles and distributing through your body. The solution of course is to change your products to something natural and it's not an excuse, but it can take months for that to work out of your system completely.
I still think that it is very important for people to understand that unless you are educated in immunology, rheumatology, nephrology, oncology, and psychology, then you likely have NO CLUE what is a real reason for not working out or eating healthy and what isn't.
The bigger question is why you spend so much time worrying about other people's reasons to be or not to be. Do you really need to control everyone? Or bring them down? Does it make you feel good to do that?
Instead, when you hear an excuse, why you don't you say something POSITIVE to help MOTIVATE that person???
When I hear someone say, "I'm too depressed to work out." I make positive suggestions to help them get some energy. Well, maybe try just sitting outside in the sun for a little bit and see if it helps. Or, What helps make you feel better? What used to make you feel good? Let's try that. Being decent to a person having a hard time is not that difficult. You may see it as an excuse, but they have a tremendous barrier in front of them. And being a bully is a demotivator.
So try a little tenderness.
Erm - does this mean I can say to people 'I'm not really obese, it's just the inflammation from RA making my stomach, *kitten* and boobs so darn huge'?
A few pounds could be inflammation (or steroid use) maybe, (outside kidney failure) but anything over that is fat caused by eating more calories than expended over time. There's no need for excuses, it's blatantly obvious that I've eaten too much for too long. I prioritised the physiological and psychological effects of eating too much over other, healthier responses to stress.
Now I don't want to do that anymore. There's no need to be all 'poor Bunnikins' about it. I'm not making any excuses. If I don't exercise, whether due to RA, flu or not wanting to get off the couch, I have to eat less. If I want to eat or drink more, I have to shift myself.
People can make all the excuses they want; I've had bad neighbours, I've been broke, I've been lazy, I've been and done many things that are listed in this thread as excuses. The fact remains that if you truly want to change, you'll find a way.
And then nobody has to listen to anymore lame excuses.0 -
The only one of those that is semi true, no 100% true, healthy food is WAY too expensive. I don't control the money in the house, my parents do, and they always hate when I buy healthier stuff because its expensive. Some of us are on a budget and healthy food CAN be REALLY expensive. From the super markets to a farmer's market, it is TOO expensive and makes me upset, because I want those healthy things!0
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