My opinion (don't read if you're overly sensitive)

cmacphee3

Here's the problem...Some people have issues in which might need some therapy to get going. Not everyone is living their life for your personal approval, and not everyone is looking for your sympathy.

Some people are emotional eaters, and berating them, and treating them like a drill sergeant is not the answer. In fact, it makes their problem much worse. As stupid as it sounds, have you ever seen the Austin Powers movies? Do you recall the part where fat *kitten* says "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat?" I know the entire movie was in jest, but seriously there is much truth to what he said.

Source for those who don't recall :
http://youtu.be/DH5TMCR8etc

Also, some people have social anxiety disorders (myself included - yes, I was diagnosed by a professional ) which makes it hard to just go out and do it..Personally, I suffer from physical symptoms when I'm put in social situations in which I'm not comfortable with (elevated bp, sweating, etc...) Being incredibly socially awkward does not help either.

What makes it worse is when you do work up the nerve to go to the gym or do a zumba class or something and people make fun of you for your weight....at the gym no less....You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't...It makes people like us want to give up which leads back to what I said previously .

Oh, and yes I've been made fun of many times at the gym. People are down right cruel.

Additionally, someone who is depressed does not need someone barking at them to suck it up; it's just not that simple, and again, will make their issues worse. I speak from experience as I was also diagnosed with clinical depression some time ago as well.

It might be hard for someone who doesn't have these problems to understand - especially at your young age, but these are things that shouldn't be dismissed. Consider yourself lucky to not have to live with depression or social anxiety disorders.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm trying not being overly sensitive about your comment considering the source ( it's just a comment from a random young person, with few life experiences, or perhaps wasn't taught any better on an online forum,) and honestly it could apply to some people, but it most certainly does not apply to all.

What really compelled me to comment on your thread is that this type of behavior/comments made to people you see in person during everyday life can really be damaging to already fragile individual, and could possibly set them back in terms of not only weight loss, but in other aspects as well.

It can be a lot more harmful than you know, because it's not always as simple as "sucking it up."

This times a million!

AlongCame_Molly

. I was SO poor that I couldn't afford to eat anything BUT the dollar menu at McD's. Seriously I would eat nothing for breakfast, eat $1 sandwhich and fries for lunch and dinner (11am & 2am).

This is ridiculous. You do realize that you can buy healthier groceries for less than $1-2 a day (the same amount you say you were spending at McDonald's every day)? I call shenanigans.

cmacphee3

Exercise produces endorphins and dopamine, which are mood enhancers, so.... I used to take medication for ADD and depression (granted they weren't super severe) and haven't needed to take anything since I started exercising. These hormones we naturally produce are some of the most illegal products to buy.. it's the same argument for not wanting to have sex. Sex has been proven to enhance mood with other benefits :P PLUS it's awesome and you could log it as circuit training.

It doesn't work for everyone. I was working out almost every day quite hard, and I fell into a moderate-severe depression where I was constantly thinking about suicide and planning when and how I would do it, writing letters and having feelings of 100% hopelessness and failure and spent a good deal of my time sleeping or laying in bed just wishing to be dead.

I started taking medication, and a few weeks later the awfulness of everything started to lift. I was able to see the point in living again, even if I'm not where I want to be and life generally sucks.

True depression is not something you can "suck up" it is completely debilitating.

I am the same way, working out doesn't help me much. I feel empowered and good about my goals and achieving them but I still suffer from suicidal ideation on a fairly regular basis.

Yeah, my suicidal ideation comes back really easily if something goes particularly wrong. I'm trying to use CBT to stop that automatic thought association. That being said, before meds it did not matter at all if things happening were good or bad or neutral, everything made me wish for death, so this is a vast improvement!

quirkytizzy

Here's the problem...Some people have issues in which might need some therapy to get going. Not everyone is living their life for your personal approval, and not everyone is looking for your sympathy.

Some people are emotional eaters, and berating them, and treating them like a drill sergeant is not the answer. In fact, it makes their problem much worse. As stupid as it sounds, have you ever seen the Austin Powers movies? Do you recall the part where fat *kitten* says "I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat?" I know the entire movie was in jest, but seriously there is much truth to what he said.

Source for those who don't recall :
http://youtu.be/DH5TMCR8etc

Also, some people have social anxiety disorders (myself included - yes, I was diagnosed by a professional ) which makes it hard to just go out and do it..Personally, I suffer from physical symptoms when I'm put in social situations in which I'm not comfortable with (elevated bp, sweating, etc...) Being incredibly socially awkward does not help either.

What makes it worse is when you do work up the nerve to go to the gym or do a zumba class or something and people make fun of you for your weight....at the gym no less....You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't...It makes people like us want to give up which leads back to what I said previously .

Oh, and yes I've been made fun of many times at the gym. People are down right cruel.

Additionally, someone who is depressed does not need someone barking at them to suck it up; it's just not that simple, and again, will make their issues worse. I speak from experience as I was also diagnosed with clinical depression some time ago as well.

It might be hard for someone who doesn't have these problems to understand - especially at your young age, but these are things that shouldn't be dismissed. Consider yourself lucky to not have to live with depression or social anxiety disorders.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm trying not being overly sensitive about your comment considering the source ( it's just a comment from a random young person, with few life experiences, or perhaps wasn't taught any better on an online forum,) and honestly it could apply to some people, but it most certainly does not apply to all.

What really compelled me to comment on your thread is that this type of behavior/comments made to people you see in person during everyday life can really be damaging to already fragile individual, and could possibly set them back in terms of not only weight loss, but in other aspects as well.

It can be a lot more harmful than you know, because it's not always as simple as "sucking it up."

Wise and well said.

ninerbuff

Lol, I get to hear those on a daily basis.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

robsgurl

I was one of them people who made all those excuses until I got sick of the way I looked and wanted to look and feel better about myself. I did the working out at home and never set foot inside a gym. I personally don't like going to gyms and I feel self conscious when I do. I may have quit a bunch of times but all that matters is I got back up and started back up...=)

erinarvin1980

I ove this post. I was once one of those people but then realized that i really only need one hour our of my day to work out. That is all that is needed to burn the calories I need. Eating healthier doesnt mean to cut out what you love, its to cut back on it if thats what will help. I could not feel bad for someone who makes excuses, noone felt bad for me. I admit, I do get down at times cause although I have lost 20 pounds and feel great for it, there are times I still feel fat but I just give myself a pep talk that if I keep doing what I am doing I will be able to lose the weight for good and never have to worry about how fat I feel again. Anyone can workout, lose weight, and be healthy. Just have to want to do it.

tapirfrog

So, what's your excuse for allowing so many whiny losers to remain in your life?

No, seriously, it sounds like you're surrounded by ineffectual bumblers who are driving you crazy. Get rid of them. I don't care what your excuse is, you're better off without them. If you keep them around, you have only yourself to blame.

mrspinky85

I have seen this and a variation of this type of post too many times on here. I don't understand why it bothers people to hear complaining in the motivation and Support forum. I don't get it. O_o

holsieg

I agree with some of them. Except the too busy one, because I genuinely used to be too busy to exercise on a daily basis, after getting a bus at 7am and getting home at 6pm, quickly eating dinner then doing homework until 11pm every day, except weekends. Not that I needed to exercise much, because my active day of walking or thinking (yes, thinking burns calories) allowed me to lose weight OK. Now I drive in, so I get home sooner even if I come home via the gym

Also, depression. Some of the symptoms are overeating and lacking energy so much that a sufferer will be unable to get out of bed. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but there have been days when I have been unable to leave the house due to some awful thoughts in my head. Yes, exercise is a fantastic treatment for depression (some studies have shown it to be better than drugs for bipolar disorder), but it's starting that cycle of 'I feel good, so I'll exercise more' which is the difficult part.

fayeonherway

So I read your OP. I feel like I'm being punished for being an imperfect human and I should just end it right now....

Or am I being too sensitive?

I'd like to apologize on behalf of the OP and several others who think exercise is the ultimate cure for all types of depression. I guess physically fit/active people who suffer from depression are unicorns or something. Please don't just stop taking your meds and if you feel the need to, please consult your doctor.

CCusedtodance

Yeah, but the rest of us would never have joined mfp at all if we weren't full of those same excuses at some point. I ate like a pig, didn't exercise, and whined about being fat. Now I'm here. We should try to remember that these excuse-filled people just aren't ready yet.

^^^^^^THIS! Not everyone is ready and as most know, you cannot convince someone to lose weight or workout until they are.

Toomanytwinkies

I agree with a lot of what you are saying except for anything having to do with depression or a true sickness. We all have different things going on in our lives and we all have different circumstances. What works for one person may not be the best for someone else. I can't stand excuses, outright, but when a person truly has a circumstance that keeps them down, that is just them venting and maybe they just are not ready to be in the place that you are or many others are. I do find it a bit rude that anyone would want to point this fact out, openly. Sometimes we, and that includes me, need to monitor what comes out of our mouthes. Try and remember that not everyone is you and you have no idea why that person is having a bad day or has that excuse. Everyone uses them at some point and time, so honestly, if someone doesn't like seeing them then just don't friend that person or ignore it.

This is such a good post. You can't group everyone together like that. Some people have eating addictions, depression, very low self esteem and so on. I know people who just grind your nerves and really need to just put in an effort. On the flip side, others are truly suffering, not just complaining.

emrogers

I agree. There's lots of excuses being made and if they spent that much time doing something about it then they'd actually see progress. However, I think that most of us have been there and done that! I know I have for sure! I also don't cut for that BS if they're my friends. I'm sorry, but I want positive and the "I can do this attitude, even if I fall down"

I don't even bother reading those posts where ppl are whining and complaining. I have my own issues to deal with and can't handle it. So, if you don't like it, don't read it. This journey is definitely not for the weak minded fore sure!

jlapey

"When someone is truly ready to make a change, they will find a way, until then they will find excuses."

ETA: I guess the trick for people like the OP is learning to distinguish an "excuse" from a legitimate "reason". Although they may sound an awful lot a like, they are very different.
Also, we've all been there, I spent years making excuses for myself, weight loss is as much mental as it is physical. Instead of being annoyed, be supportive and remember what it was like before you were 'ready'.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!

"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"

Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!

I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!

Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?

And in case you missed it,

Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.

Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.

You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.

here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!

quirkytizzy

Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?

And in case you missed it,

Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.

Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.

You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.

here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!

I like you.

Jayne19099

I am so sick of hearing dumb excuses from people who "really want and need to lose the weight". If I had a dollar for everytime someone complained about something or had an excuse as to why they can't work out or eat right that day- I would have enough money for a gym membership to 17 different gyms all over the country AND enough money to fly to each one 23 times a day!

"I can't work out. I live in an apartment and I would disturb people"
"I can't work out. I don't have a gym membership"
"I can't eat healthy. I don't have any food"
"I feel so depressed. I can't work out"
"I don't have enough money to get a gym membership"
"I don't have any motivation"
"What's the point?"
"I am too busy"
Those are only a few of the excuses and complaints that I hear on a daily basis whether it be on the site or someone in my family or a close friend? You know what I have to say to all of these? -
"Talk to the people below you. If they don't like It, too bad"
"Work out at home"
"Go buy some food or make something healthy. There are plenty of healthy dishes that can be done on $10"
"Suck it up"
"You don't need one"
"Find it and than give me a call"
"The point is, you're fat"
"I am busy too. Talk to you after I work out"

Seriously. Everyone has their "days" but, when a friend posts how crappy their life is, how busy they are and how poor they are- I don't feel bad. You can still use your own body weight to work out and you can lose weight. Eat the crap food than but, learn portion control. If you find yourself saying "what's the point" or "I don't want to" than, you're right! You really don't want to lose the weight, you want it to accumulate, you want to get larger and you want to have health issues. If you see yourself looking in the mirror and seeing something gross, do something about it. Cut the crap, enough with the excuses and get off of your *kitten*!!!

I am sorry if this offends someone but, if it offends you- take my advice. I am sure there will be a lot of other's who also cannot stand the daily excuses with people. What do you want us to say? Eventually, I am going to end up giving up on your dreams since you can't even reach for your dreams! Sorry if I sound "witchy" but, this is real life- you can't live a happy and healthy life if you aren't happy and healthy. YOU are the only one that can do this. Suck it up, put the donut down and do some push ups!!! Make today great, everyone!

Depression is a illness caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have read that people who have diagnosed depression, ie people who have chemical imbalances, can actually be harmed by exercise as exercise can deplete the person's already low serotonin levels and cause them to become more depressed. (serotonin is a chemical involved in transmitting signals between nerve endings). When someone says they are too depressed to work out it would be better to suggest they see a doctor as they will never actually be able to "suck it up" due to lack of brain chemicals.

sheldonz42

Come back and talk to me about depression after you have buried a child. Same goes for the diet and exercise helping depression posters.

Jayne19099

Wow. Just wow. Way to be motivational and supportive. Dismissing and minimizing others problems is very supportive and motivational. You are a virtual paragon of compassion and empathy for your friends. Are you looking for the strike by setting up a divisive topic on purpose, or does this just come naturally to you?

And in case you missed it,

Yeah. Excuses suck. I try to never miss a gym day, and I try to eat healthy. Sometimes, my friends don't. I don't attack them and dismiss their feelings and problems. I help them find a way to overcome them.

Next, I am going to assume you are young and naive. You obviously don't have a lot of real world experience. You probably have never had to deal with spiteful neighbors, or threats of eviction from being disturbing of your neighbors.
You probably have never had to deal with going hungry because you don't have a support network, or a job, or you have other competing priorities that take your money (like home repairs, car repairs, mortgages, etc) that leave you without a lot of money for groceries leaving you only crappy choices like processed non nutritive crap food.

You obviously have no idea what mental illness or depression is like. A person who is truly depressed does not just have a little sadness, and can't just "suck it up and get over it." Depression is crippling, and it takes therapy and likely medication. People who are depressed can barely get out of bed. Did you know that many people who start on anti-depressants kill themselves, or attempt to kill themselves after they are medicated. Do you know why? The reason why is that they have wanted to kill themselves for a long time, but didn't have the energy or motivation to do so until they were medicated, and began to feel good enough to follow through on their plans. Just think of the depth of how little they can accomplish if this is the case.

here is a suggestion, if you don't like your friends excuses, delete them. You obviously don't give a siht about them anyway. Dont' start a rant about them. Just STFU!

I like you.

Me too.