can i confide in you guys?

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  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    I say you need a ONS to find out your true feelings

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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    don't take this thread too seriously, k ? it's saturday and i'm a little tipsy. don't judge.
    i kissed a boy at a party that i was attracted to. found out he had a girlfriend(he denied having a girlfriend to me)
    i was pretty upset and felt a little used.
    now he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago (or longer)


    anyway, he's been texting me for 2 months now begging me to date him. telling me that he's my "future husband" (like seriously, he's texting me every day since the kiss. or every second day. a LOT more than i'm used to from any other boy i've talked to)
    and i've been polite, telling him i have school and work. and how i can't hangout much.
    and now sometimes he gets frustrated and calls me a "hater" (wtf?)

    seriously though.
    girls? what would you do?
    guys? wtf?

    i don't know why i read a subtext of possible true love here. sorry guys. but is it ever possible that some people don't get out of a relationship soon enough and just kind of coast towards the end and then meet someone really great. and then get the nerve to leave. or a lightbulb goes on?

    that said, I think HOW you "found out" is crucial. if it was word of mouth that could have been hearsay from someone less informed of his break up status than him. if it was his FB page that could depend on how often he logs in, simple scrollign thru his page should tell you if he had a chance to change it during the time you met.

    The "hater" part I'm still not so crazy about. And the keeping trying for So long. Unless of course you have reciprocated any attention which then yeah, you guys are actually communicating back and forth and he cannot be blamed for still trying.

    BTW, please PM me your kissing technique because I want guys to be all sprung on me with just a first kiss instead of having to fully put out to get them like that.

    Sounds like you've been dating the wrong guys. ;)

    But yeah, I can see where you're coming from with this--I can agree with it too. Granted, it's still not really an excuse to play tonsil hockey behind your SO's back. That's still kinda poopy.
    yeah but i'm not convinced that's what he was doing. i'm assuming he knew his relationship status better than his friend.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
    i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.

    i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
    anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.


    if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.

    forget everything else i've said. Bail.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
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    Well, then you need to learn how to discern a good guy from a *kitten*.

    I will start off your education: Good guys dont tell a girl who barely shows interest that they are her future husband. That is a ploy to lower her defenses by making her think that he is thinking of her in long term ways.

    Wait, is this from some kind of actual playbook?

    Sort of. More like recycled behaviors and patterns that I pick up on.

    It's reminiscent of that nasty PUA or whatever stuff that was controversial a while ago. (btw I would be very surprised if any of that has worked often enough to justify its apparently large audience of 'nice guys'. The guys who are good at that kind of thing are natural, spontaneous predators.)
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
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    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/

    Wow, thought I did well making him wait three months... 31 years back. He must really be in love. Nice!
    I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.

    And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:

    Two years? Holy hell!
    He's patient :tongue: And I know myself enough to wait until I fully decide otherwise.

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  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    mehhhhh toss him....plenty more fish in the sea to waste your time on....or not....but one day he loves you and the next he hates on you? nope!!
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
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    I would give him a chance to explain himself with the true. Bo matter how bad it is. Abd then at the end of the night I would make a desicion
  • AmyMgetsfit
    AmyMgetsfit Posts: 636 Member
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    If some guy kept texting me he was my future husband, I would be running far, far away from him. To me that's crazy talk, maybe a little stalkerish.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    If he is so immature that he is hoping from one girl to the next and feeding you lines like "future husband" without getting to know you in a relationship for a substantial amount of time. Well, he isn't ready for a real relationship. More than likely he will be a easy come easy go kind of guy. Move on from him. He is not worth your time.
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
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    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!

    Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
    Can you say that with 100% certainty.

    Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?

    Dr. Zoidberg? Can you link to any of his studies? Relationship therapist?

    Are you asking because you have casual sex and are trying to validate yourself or as an academic question?

    Purely academic.
  • foxro
    foxro Posts: 793 Member
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    Look at it this way, you must have a perfect kissing technique !!!:laugh:

    Casual sex ? - Never was into it, always believed in putting on shirt on tie for such a special occassion :wink:
  • Michelle2W
    Michelle2W Posts: 163 Member
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    That must have been some kiss!
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
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    Trust your gut not the alcohol. More bad things happen to people who don't listen to their gut instincts than you would believe. Stop beating around the bush and tell him it is not going to happen and see how nasty he gets, then how he tries to worm his way out of it by saying he just cares so much that being rejected made him crazy.... Run run now and cut ties!
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    I'm looking for the part where OP tears the guy a new one for deceiving her, and his text that he is pleading for forgiveness.
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    Tell him what you just told us!
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
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    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/




    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!

    Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
    Can you say that with 100% certainty.

    Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?

    Dr. Zoidberg? Can you link to any of his studies? Relationship therapist?

    Are you asking because you have casual sex and are trying to validate yourself or as an academic question?

    Woooo hoooo Casual Sex!
  • IamSheaMc
    IamSheaMc Posts: 1,310 Member
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    I agree with him you're a hater :laugh: ..

    j/k but him calling you a hater made me laugh so hard.

    ps what if he liked you all along and wasn't in love with his girlfriend? now he see wants to give you a chance.
  • zzzeee1
    zzzeee1 Posts: 35
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    Haven't read the comments, but, IMO, the best course of action is letting him know what's up (make it clear), that you're not attracted to him and its not gonna happen, if he keeps initiating, just totally ignore him, if he doesnt stop and it gets too creepy, let him know that he crossed the line big time and if this goes any further youll have to get a restraining order!
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    Block his phone number

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