How many dates should a guy pay for?

13567…14

Replies

  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
    I agree with your philosophy. I usually expect the guy to pay until we're officially dating. And even after that, unless it's pre-arranged that I'm going to pay for it, I usually make sure it's a "surprise" when I pay (i.e. once every 5 dates or so, I'll slip the waitress my debit card on the way to the bathroom). The man is supposed to be the provider, he has to prove his ability to do so.
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
    Angelcurry, I see your point on that. I'd never ask a guy out, but if I did, I'd make it a "free" event. :D
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
    Whoever invites should pay! I don't understand why some people think the boy should always pay!
  • ajball90
    ajball90 Posts: 211 Member
    I thought it was equal rights? If so shouldnt the women pay now?

    Hahahha!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Perhaps I now qualify as "old school" but, unless there's some special arrangement, the gentleman always pays.
  • Elle408
    Elle408 Posts: 500 Member
    Generally, I think the guy pays the first date, especially if he instigated it. After that it's fair game, I invite him for pizza, I pay - he takes me out to the pub, he pays... I wouldn't keep tabs though, life's too short.

    I did however date a guy who insisted on paying and would get quite offended if I even attempted to or mentioned that I was going to. I would just cook for him occasionally as 'repayment', if you like.
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
    before we moved in together, he paid like 70% of the time...
    now.... I pay for most of them..... but I don't really pay for bills in the house


    we my exes... I let them paid for most of the dates..... if he cant afford dates, he cant afford to have a girl with him... Im kinda old fashion....
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
    Think a guy should pay for the first date (and that includes the tip). After that, perhaps split the difference each time you go on a date. Now if we're talking anniversaries, let the guy pay for the entire meal. Maybe it'd be wise for the lady to handle the tip.

    its funny you talk about tips.... if the guys doesn't tip well, he wont get a second date with me..... I don't date cheap guys
  • xALEXANDROx
    xALEXANDROx Posts: 3,416 Member
    Whoever invites should pay! I don't understand why some people think the boy should always pay!

    this.:)
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    Maybe i have just been extremely spoiled, but I have an expectation that if I am invited out, the guy pays. Especially in the beginning. However, if it turns into something long term, it sort of just becomes shared because I like feeling as thought I am contributing something - even if it's just eating in and buying food for that.
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member
    I'm not sure how it works for everyone, including same sex couples, but I'd say the asker pays. Then maybe take turns or the more financially better off person pays. Once there is monogamy take turns?

    It'll all depend on the couple. My bf pays for most dates, and he makes plenty of money. I make him lunch to take to work multiple times a week, plan dinners/order the groceries, and other things that kind of balance the whole thing. When I make a decent wage I'll be taking him out more!
  • sittingontopoftheworld
    sittingontopoftheworld Posts: 33
    I'm not sure how it works for everyone, including same sex couples, but I'd say the asker pays. Then maybe take turns or the more financially better off person pays. Once there is monogamy take turns?

    It'll all depend on the couple.

    Agreed 100%.
  • Vansy
    Vansy Posts: 419 Member
    My boyfriend paid for pretty much all of them....then again, he pays for most things -- and at this point I'm fine with that, it's become a "what's mine is yours" deal. We're both pretty traditional in that sense though -- guy pays for dates, opens doors, etc. etc.


    I should mention that I did put up a fight on the first meal we ate together -- breakfast at 5am in Vegas after I'd been up for 26 hours and had run a marathon...lol.




    But as for "how many dates should a guy pay for?" -- I mean I think that's between the man and woman on the date...to each his own.
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
    call me old fashioned, but my vote is all or at least most of them.
  • donniesaurous
    donniesaurous Posts: 176 Member
    The first 500 or so.

    ha haa! i wish this was true! i let my boyfriend pay for the first two, but from then on we started taking it in turns, now (three years later...) whoever drives doesn't have to pay! i tend to drive everywhere as I'm not a big drinker anyway, so being on soft drinks it makes me the cheaper date!
  • kirstie1926
    kirstie1926 Posts: 48
    i'm extremely liberal and would be defined as a 'feminist' (even though i hate that word and i don't believe it defines me). yet i'm still old fashioned in some ways, hmm, maybe it's my midwestern mentality. but if i go on a first date and the man doesn't pay, there will be NO second date. of course i'll offer to pay half or pay the tip, but he should still say 'no' and pay the entire amount. the next few dates he should pay too and i'll pick up the tab maybe at the bar for a few drinks.

    someone else stated on this thread that it makes the woman feel powerless if the man pays. i call that bs. in any relationship, the roles reverse constantly between who's dominant and who's passive, one minute you have the upper hand, the next you don't. my father treats my mother like a queen, but she's rules with an iron fist. they've been together for 46 years and i would never describe either one as powerless in any way.
  • sgtdub555
    sgtdub555 Posts: 692
    the guy will always pay for whatever the girl wants does not want thinks she wants and imagines she wants.

    Oh wait you are talking about food. Why not split it until you decide you like each other?
  • rudarbe
    rudarbe Posts: 164 Member
    No.
  • sarahxx68
    sarahxx68 Posts: 42
    My guy typically pays for dinner whenever we go out, and I'll leave the tip. I am the one who buys the movie passes for 'date night', so it works out. He's also much more well off than me.
  • rachjenn
    rachjenn Posts: 87
    I don't think a guy should have to pay for any dates.... although I know there's a "thing" that the guy should pay. I'd accept a free meal only if he insisted, but I'd always insist first I'd pay my own way. I wouldn't be annoyed or think anything of it, if the guy did let me pay half :-)

    My mum always says men expect something in return if they pay for a meal... Haha
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Whomever asks should pay, however the other party should always offer to pay half.

    That's my opinion for what it's worth.
  • HunterKiller_wechange2
    HunterKiller_wechange2 Posts: 332 Member
    None. She should pay her own way and be thankfull of my company.


    33141513.png
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I haven't been on a date in 23 years. I like how it was when I was dating. The man asked the woman out and he paid. I guess I am old fashioned, but that's how it was in my dating days and if I were to end up on the dating scene again, that's how I would expect it to be.
  • nikkijoshua
    nikkijoshua Posts: 85 Member
    I never pay.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Only the ones that I'm at least 80 percent sure she's going to put out.
  • agggie550
    agggie550 Posts: 281 Member
    If you invite her, go ahead and factor you +1 for paying, if she invites you, then it is not expected, but as a gentleman, if she offers you can allow her to pay for her part, or if she wants to pay let her, but if not, just go ahead and pay for it. Some woman feel pressured that they owe you something if you pay all the time, so make sure she knows you don't feel obligated to pay, that you are doing it just because you like her, and like I said if she offers to pay sometimes let her, there is nothing wrong with that. And if she never offers to pay, you might want to figure out what her gold digging intentions are.. HAHA
  • tbodega
    tbodega Posts: 186
    Who cares? It's going to be different depending on the date and the situation. If anyone feels obligated to pay, that's just...weird, IMHO.

    My husband paid for our first date, which was really sweet and thoughtful...but nobody should go into a date without money (barring real money issues, but that's beside the point) because it's pretty damn pretentious to think that the other person should have to pay for you.

    Hell, even being married, it just depends on who has the most money in the wallet at the particular time as to who pays. I wouldn't allow him to go broke on me before we got married, but it was a nice gesture when he could and did pay.

    But every situation and every person is going to be different. Communication is this really awesome thing that human beings do. You should not be afraid to ask your date what they prefer instead of a forum full of people you will never be in the same room with.

    This.
  • rcc1988
    rcc1988 Posts: 125 Member
    None. Bond together by stealing everything not nailed down!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I believe whoever invited the other person on a date is the one who pays. That's always been my policy with dating or just going out to dinner with friends. Unless splitting the bill is discussed up front. I assume I will be paying if I asked the person out, and vice versa.
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    After a few dates then she should at least offer to pay. If she does not then kick her to the curb.

    This. Too many women want to, to use a cliched phrase, have their cake and eat it too. You can't say you want to be a modern woman who doesn't subscribe to traditional gender norms/roles then flip flop on that point and say, "oh but the man should always pay," just so you have more money to shop. You get a few freebies ladies then you need to start chipping in. There's a word for a woman who you need to pay for her time. Look it up.

Categories