How many dates should a guy pay for?

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Replies

  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Dating is cheap.
    You don't REALLY start paying till you're married.
  • gtslow
    gtslow Posts: 12 Member
    Personally I think this concept is a little old fashioned and let me tell you where I am coming from. When this tradition started men were most likely working professional, higher paying jobs and women were most likely still living at home, working part-time or in lower paying positions. Now that women are in the professional work force making near equal the money that men do it makes more sense just to split the check after the first date or so. I would never expect a girl I just met and asked out to offer to pay after the first date, but I'd never go on a second one of the woman expected me to pay for anything. In my opinion expecting guys to pick up the tab sets back the women's rights movement. Want equal pay then pick up half the check!
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
    My BF and now Husband was insulted when I insisted on paying for one of our meals... BUT he did let me leave the tip :smile:
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    As many as it takes.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.

    I disagree. It would be nice to know that there aren't women out there trying to use you, but there are. For that reason, I'll pay for the first two or three; however, after that, I'm waiting until she asks me out to dinner or for drinks. If she asks, she's paying. I have zero qualms with letting her pay, I consider it as part of an investment on her behalf which shows interest on her behalf.

    Paying has nothing to do with being a gentleman.

    I think I generalized too much in my first post - but this I can agree with if the woman has a steady job I guess. Me, I don't work, never have, never had to, and am happy with that. Most women of my age and younger DO work though, I think, so it's reasonable to expect them to pay sometimes at least. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    All of them.

    Why?
  • Nightterror218
    Nightterror218 Posts: 375 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.

    I disagree. It would be nice to know that there aren't women out there trying to use you, but there are. For that reason, I'll pay for the first two or three; however, after that, I'm waiting until she asks me out to dinner or for drinks. If she asks, she's paying. I have zero qualms with letting her pay, I consider it as part of an investment on her behalf which shows interest on her behalf.

    Paying has nothing to do with being a gentleman.

    I have always paid and still pay (married). She would snag the bill from me when we were dating saying she was getting this one. hopefully you never go after a girl who likes to be pursued cause that will never work. I find the interest when she asks to go do something and I still pay.
  • Amie_Girl
    Amie_Girl Posts: 80 Member
    My husband paid for all of them.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
    I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.

    Definitely not, but you know they're out there. I'm definitely not claiming that all women are like that, I'm sure users like this are quite the minority, but they still exist.

    As for those ladies that don't have a job if I'm aware of that, I wouldn't put them in that position. There are ways to show interest other than by paying for a meal. Just like there are many diffferent ways of showing off your gentlemanly ways.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    All of them.

    Why?

    For me, personally, it's because I don't have a job that pays me money, and I'm pretty old-fashioned. I'm a stay at home mom, do all the cleaning and cooking, so I think it's a fair trade off. Even before I was a mom, when we were just dating, my husband WANTED to pay for everything, even if I didn't need him to. I like that. I think it's romantic and makes me feel worthwhile. He's fine with me not having a regular job, and even likes that I stay home because I can spend more time taking care of him and our son. I should clarify though, that if I did work, I think yes I would want to pay sometimes. At least on special occasions I would definitely insist on paying. When I was younger, I doubt I would have thought that way, but as an adult I can see the logic in it. If both people work there is no real reason that only one person should pay for everything - but in my relationship, that is what makes me and my husband happy. I feel special and I think he feels more in control - which works because I'm submissive and he is very dominant.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Since my potential mates have all been willing to settle for below a 5. I have had to pay for my dates.

    If I had better potential then I would say the man pays for all the dates. Every single date. You pay. If she offers great, but dont assume she should pay.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
    I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.

    Definitely not, but you know they're out there. I'm definitely not claiming that all women are like that, I'm sure users like this are quite the minority, but they still exist.

    As for those ladies that don't have a job if I'm aware of that, I wouldn't put them in that position. There are ways to show interest other than by paying for a meal. Just like there are many diffferent ways of showing off your gentlemanly ways.

    Agreed. :)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Personally I think this concept is a little old fashioned and let me tell you where I am coming from. When this tradition started men were most likely working professional, higher paying jobs and women were most likely still living at home, working part-time or in lower paying positions. Now that women are in the professional work force making near equal the money that men do it makes more sense just to split the check after the first date or so. I would never expect a girl I just met and asked out to offer to pay after the first date, but I'd never go on a second one of the woman expected me to pay for anything. In my opinion expecting guys to pick up the tab sets back the women's rights movement. Want equal pay then pick up half the check!

    Equality in the work force. BTW according to the latest US Census Bureau women still make about 23 cents less then men on each dollar that gap increases for minority women.

    Of course we all know that relationships are not an equal, and in general women still look for men who can ultimately be a good provider for their progeny. Since we dont hunt it has to be money.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
    I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.

    Definitely not, but you know they're out there. I'm definitely not claiming that all women are like that, I'm sure users like this are quite the minority, but they still exist.

    As for those ladies that don't have a job if I'm aware of that, I wouldn't put them in that position. There are ways to show interest other than by paying for a meal. Just like there are many diffferent ways of showing off your gentlemanly ways.

    I'm going to need a demonstration......
  • MeganGable
    MeganGable Posts: 68 Member
    I say man pays for first, and go dutch from there on out. To me, it shows equality and is more up with the times of men and women both working.
  • TheWiseCat
    TheWiseCat Posts: 297
    is she putting out?
  • dezcast
    dezcast Posts: 429 Member
    is she putting out?

    You know I do... why even ask. Can we skip the date so no one pays and just hit the sack?
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    About three years into my relationship my husband and I went for drinks with a friend of mine and when we were ready to leave the server brought us three bills. My look of utter confusion paired with my husband's "Here babe, I've got that." made my friend pee here pants laughing. She still calls me Princess. LOL

    So I'm giving props to all the "All of them" guys here. Good answer. :)
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
    don't make the mistake I did and try and pay with your wife's credit card.
  • kluedesigns
    kluedesigns Posts: 72 Member
    every man i've ever dated paid for all dates, all vacations, etc.

    i would be totally put off by a guy who asked me out and then expected me to pay half of the bill - i would certainly never go out with them again.

    i'm with my husband 22 years now so maybe the dating and marriage views have changed but he never asked me to split our dates and he has never asked me to split our expenses now - a loving partnership doesn't mean everything is split 50/50 - if you're keeping a balance sheet on each other you might want to look for a different mate.

    i would never want to be with a person who constantly kept a tab on money, chores, intimacy, etc - just to make sure that everything is 50/50. life and marriage isn't and shouldn't be that way - partners should be generous in spirit and want to give all that they can to their love.

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