How many dates should a guy pay for?

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Replies

  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    The guy always pays...geesh!!! :wink:
  • M______
    M______ Posts: 288 Member
    Its a mixture for me. I'm happy to pay and happy to be treated. My only rule is - always have money on hand. I'd never stand in the way if my date wants to pay, that's just awkward.
  • missjojo31
    missjojo31 Posts: 150
    first dates guys i know always pay, second date they usually split the bill,
    I always have money in my bag and always offer to pay my way.
  • mshendo0
    mshendo0 Posts: 12
    I agree...that should be the rule unless the girl just wants to
  • mshendo0
    mshendo0 Posts: 12
    RIGHT!!!!????????????????that's why they call you guys
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    All of them.....

    Men open doors, the pull our chairs, they pay for dates

    So women do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and do everything having to do with child care then correct?

    If they are being completely supported by a man, hell yes they do and there's no reason not to.
    My husband takes me nice places, buys me nice things, pays for everything and spoils the ever-loving hell out of me. In return, he gets a clean house, clean clothes, two happy, clean kids and a hot, homemade dinner on the table every night when he comes home from work. Oh, and a hot breakfast and lunch when he's home for those. Plus of course, all of the errands, shopping, getting sexed to death on a regular basis and I get gifty with him, too. I guess taking out his wallet on dates is a pretty good trade off, right? He's a grown man and he's capable of taking care of things himself but why should he? He takes care of me, I take care of him.

    Now where's the pile of feminist cards? I guess I need to toss mine in there, too.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    An interesting thought on this just came to me: In a relationship I like the role of protector and provider. I think this is part of the male psyche. I also like thinking of women as equals - although equal in value does not mean being identical in character, strengths or attributes.

    So then I got to thinking about strong female roles in films and I came to the conclusion that 'its allowed for a woman to be tough - as long as its a child she is protecting - not an adult man' - (I was thinking specifically of Terminator/Aliens/The long kiss goodnight/ Kill Bill...)

    Then, there is "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" which I think is a very interesting case - Joss Weiden deliberately sets up her character to fail at a relationships with 'normal' people because men are intimidated by strong women.

    Does this mean that we are genetically programmed to be chivalrous (in the general sense) or that we have social influences which teach us this behaviour.

    Discuss.......
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    chivalry is social culture


    re:OP, can't we just do free or very low cost dates?
    sometimes those are the best ones anyway.
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    Havent read though the whole thread... I'll prolly be back. BUT.. Unless we are living together... He needs to pay for the dates. Sorry but I have been taken advantage of for far too long.. I would want a man to act like a man... in all the chivalrist ways. In return I am a good caretaker/girlfriend... I will bring them lunch at work, pack them lunch, make them dinner, wash thier clothes, clean the house, yadda yadda. If I ever get a next time I will be respected for the good girl (:wink: ) that I am.
  • whatshouldieat
    whatshouldieat Posts: 101 Member
    I had an ex gf that thought I should pay everytime regardless. Hence why she is my ex LOL. I agree with those saying who ever does the asking should pay. The splitting down the middle makes me uneasy at times so I do not care so much for that. I don't mind paying for like 3 or 4 dates then the woman picks up the next tab, then repeat process. Once comfortable with each other and dating as bf/gf then just talk about it prior to going out who is picking up the tab this way there are no surprises.
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    All of them.....

    Men open doors, the pull our chairs, they pay for dates

    So women do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and do everything having to do with child care then correct?

    I do!
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    All of them.
  • Shananigans_
    Shananigans_ Posts: 785 Member
    All of them, especially if he wants some later
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    All of them, especially if he wants some later

    I hate waiting. Let's just skip the formalities.
  • Nightterror218
    Nightterror218 Posts: 375 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
  • darcyrose_texas
    darcyrose_texas Posts: 38
    my beau of 2 years typically tries to pay for all our dates still. Occasionally, I like to take him out, or will buy tickets for something I want to do, but the norm for us is that he pays. I don't think we have ever split it 50/50.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    My boyfriend has always paid....for everything....

    it's just the way he is....however, we have dinner at my house several times a week and I pay for all groceries, and household related items that I use given that he practically lives with us.

    it works out to him probably paying slightly more, but not much more (i also keep all protein powders at my house in stock for our use and that evens the balance quite a lot) and I pay for our gym passes in my family pass.

    we go "out" at least 3 times a week....this weekend it was bowling, mini-golf and froyo...last week was dinner (twice), movie, and dessert.

    so he spends quite a bit, but so do I.
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
    I feel guilty letting guys pay all the time. I think the first few dates we had he paid for everything but that was because I had a 90 mile drive(one way) to his house and he thought if I was already paying for gas, he should pay for dinner or the movie or whatever.

    Now, we switch it up...not really as cut and dried as "I paid last time, it's your turn" but he'll kind of do everything one week and I'll do it the next...or i'll pay for everything a few weeks in a row then he will. We don't live together but we get groceries together since I have no stores where I live and have to get it when I'm in town.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    All of them, especially if he wants some later

    I agree...all of them. **waits on call
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.

    I disagree. It would be nice to know that there aren't women out there trying to use you, but there are. For that reason, I'll pay for the first two or three; however, after that, I'm waiting until she asks me out to dinner or for drinks. If she asks, she's paying. I have zero qualms with letting her pay, I consider it as part of an investment on her behalf which shows interest on her behalf.

    Paying has nothing to do with being a gentleman.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Dating is cheap.
    You don't REALLY start paying till you're married.
  • gtslow
    gtslow Posts: 12 Member
    Personally I think this concept is a little old fashioned and let me tell you where I am coming from. When this tradition started men were most likely working professional, higher paying jobs and women were most likely still living at home, working part-time or in lower paying positions. Now that women are in the professional work force making near equal the money that men do it makes more sense just to split the check after the first date or so. I would never expect a girl I just met and asked out to offer to pay after the first date, but I'd never go on a second one of the woman expected me to pay for anything. In my opinion expecting guys to pick up the tab sets back the women's rights movement. Want equal pay then pick up half the check!
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
    My BF and now Husband was insulted when I insisted on paying for one of our meals... BUT he did let me leave the tip :smile:
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    As many as it takes.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.

    I disagree. It would be nice to know that there aren't women out there trying to use you, but there are. For that reason, I'll pay for the first two or three; however, after that, I'm waiting until she asks me out to dinner or for drinks. If she asks, she's paying. I have zero qualms with letting her pay, I consider it as part of an investment on her behalf which shows interest on her behalf.

    Paying has nothing to do with being a gentleman.

    I think I generalized too much in my first post - but this I can agree with if the woman has a steady job I guess. Me, I don't work, never have, never had to, and am happy with that. Most women of my age and younger DO work though, I think, so it's reasonable to expect them to pay sometimes at least. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    All of them.

    Why?
  • Nightterror218
    Nightterror218 Posts: 375 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.

    I disagree. It would be nice to know that there aren't women out there trying to use you, but there are. For that reason, I'll pay for the first two or three; however, after that, I'm waiting until she asks me out to dinner or for drinks. If she asks, she's paying. I have zero qualms with letting her pay, I consider it as part of an investment on her behalf which shows interest on her behalf.

    Paying has nothing to do with being a gentleman.

    I have always paid and still pay (married). She would snag the bill from me when we were dating saying she was getting this one. hopefully you never go after a girl who likes to be pursued cause that will never work. I find the interest when she asks to go do something and I still pay.
  • Amie_Girl
    Amie_Girl Posts: 80 Member
    My husband paid for all of them.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
    I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.

    Definitely not, but you know they're out there. I'm definitely not claiming that all women are like that, I'm sure users like this are quite the minority, but they still exist.

    As for those ladies that don't have a job if I'm aware of that, I wouldn't put them in that position. There are ways to show interest other than by paying for a meal. Just like there are many diffferent ways of showing off your gentlemanly ways.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    All of them.

    Why?

    For me, personally, it's because I don't have a job that pays me money, and I'm pretty old-fashioned. I'm a stay at home mom, do all the cleaning and cooking, so I think it's a fair trade off. Even before I was a mom, when we were just dating, my husband WANTED to pay for everything, even if I didn't need him to. I like that. I think it's romantic and makes me feel worthwhile. He's fine with me not having a regular job, and even likes that I stay home because I can spend more time taking care of him and our son. I should clarify though, that if I did work, I think yes I would want to pay sometimes. At least on special occasions I would definitely insist on paying. When I was younger, I doubt I would have thought that way, but as an adult I can see the logic in it. If both people work there is no real reason that only one person should pay for everything - but in my relationship, that is what makes me and my husband happy. I feel special and I think he feels more in control - which works because I'm submissive and he is very dominant.

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