How many dates should a guy pay for?

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Replies

  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Since my potential mates have all been willing to settle for below a 5. I have had to pay for my dates.

    If I had better potential then I would say the man pays for all the dates. Every single date. You pay. If she offers great, but dont assume she should pay.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
    I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.

    Definitely not, but you know they're out there. I'm definitely not claiming that all women are like that, I'm sure users like this are quite the minority, but they still exist.

    As for those ladies that don't have a job if I'm aware of that, I wouldn't put them in that position. There are ways to show interest other than by paying for a meal. Just like there are many diffferent ways of showing off your gentlemanly ways.

    Agreed. :)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Personally I think this concept is a little old fashioned and let me tell you where I am coming from. When this tradition started men were most likely working professional, higher paying jobs and women were most likely still living at home, working part-time or in lower paying positions. Now that women are in the professional work force making near equal the money that men do it makes more sense just to split the check after the first date or so. I would never expect a girl I just met and asked out to offer to pay after the first date, but I'd never go on a second one of the woman expected me to pay for anything. In my opinion expecting guys to pick up the tab sets back the women's rights movement. Want equal pay then pick up half the check!

    Equality in the work force. BTW according to the latest US Census Bureau women still make about 23 cents less then men on each dollar that gap increases for minority women.

    Of course we all know that relationships are not an equal, and in general women still look for men who can ultimately be a good provider for their progeny. Since we dont hunt it has to be money.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    IMO all of them. Part of being a gentleman.
    I wouldn't jump to the conclusion automatically that a woman is trying to use you if she expects you to pay for the date, though.

    Definitely not, but you know they're out there. I'm definitely not claiming that all women are like that, I'm sure users like this are quite the minority, but they still exist.

    As for those ladies that don't have a job if I'm aware of that, I wouldn't put them in that position. There are ways to show interest other than by paying for a meal. Just like there are many diffferent ways of showing off your gentlemanly ways.

    I'm going to need a demonstration......
  • MeganGable
    MeganGable Posts: 68 Member
    I say man pays for first, and go dutch from there on out. To me, it shows equality and is more up with the times of men and women both working.
  • TheWiseCat
    TheWiseCat Posts: 297
    is she putting out?
  • dezcast
    dezcast Posts: 429 Member
    is she putting out?

    You know I do... why even ask. Can we skip the date so no one pays and just hit the sack?
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    About three years into my relationship my husband and I went for drinks with a friend of mine and when we were ready to leave the server brought us three bills. My look of utter confusion paired with my husband's "Here babe, I've got that." made my friend pee here pants laughing. She still calls me Princess. LOL

    So I'm giving props to all the "All of them" guys here. Good answer. :)
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
    don't make the mistake I did and try and pay with your wife's credit card.
  • kluedesigns
    kluedesigns Posts: 72 Member
    every man i've ever dated paid for all dates, all vacations, etc.

    i would be totally put off by a guy who asked me out and then expected me to pay half of the bill - i would certainly never go out with them again.

    i'm with my husband 22 years now so maybe the dating and marriage views have changed but he never asked me to split our dates and he has never asked me to split our expenses now - a loving partnership doesn't mean everything is split 50/50 - if you're keeping a balance sheet on each other you might want to look for a different mate.

    i would never want to be with a person who constantly kept a tab on money, chores, intimacy, etc - just to make sure that everything is 50/50. life and marriage isn't and shouldn't be that way - partners should be generous in spirit and want to give all that they can to their love.
  • JBsCrazyGirl
    JBsCrazyGirl Posts: 337
    First time,
    old fashioned

    But also whoever offers, unless otherwise figured out.

    What you DONT want to do is the other person or feel yourself that you are the one who always has to pay...
    If you have been treated a few times, I fell as though you should try your best to come up with some way to treat that person to a good date as well.. not just a oh "I'll get us some coffee, and YOU get the dinner... "
    not that I have experienced this or anything :grumble:

    both should feel comfortable enough to where this situation and subject matter does not matter :ohwell:
  • MadameMC
    MadameMC Posts: 63 Member
    Huh, I guess I'm the odd duck. I like to -and expect to- go halfsies from the get-go. I don't expect anyone to pay for me, and I don't expect to pay for them - though if they insist on paying I'm not going to say no. I only offer to pay for them if I can afford to do so and feel like doing a nice gesture.

    With some people there just IS no saying no-thanks. I have a friend who NEVER lets me pay, no matter how many tricks I try to do so, she always winds up paying my bill too.
  • GrnEyz80
    GrnEyz80 Posts: 121
    All of them.
  • Lovemyzach
    Lovemyzach Posts: 7 Member
    I don't expect them to pay. I never liked anyone paying my way, I always felt weird about that. I'd prefer to pay for myself. I don't like people think I'm using them, but if the guy just won't stop insisting that he pay, I'd say let him pay then.
  • reachme
    reachme Posts: 51 Member
    I always preferred paying my share. :)
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    BTW according to the latest US Census Bureau women still make about 23 cents less then men on each dollar that gap increases for minority women.

    That's only if you total up all men vs. all women, and fail to correct for hours and type occupation. In reality, men and women work different total hours and choose different professions. If you compare the same hours and at the same job, that 23 cent differential disappears.
  • CarlieeBear
    CarlieeBear Posts: 325 Member
    Pay as often as fits your standards and values. Anything else is game playing. If she can't deal with your preference or communicate her preference in a healthy way, she's probably not right for you.
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    If you ask for the first date, IMO you should pay. If she asks for the first date, she should pay. After that, there should be discussion.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    I think whoever suggested or asked for the date should pay for it.
  • PastaQueen33
    PastaQueen33 Posts: 2 Member
    How I was taught, the man asks and he pays for every single date. Including flowers when he picks you up, whether he picks them or buys them. As well as opening doors and having manners. I want to be treated like a woman and cherished. Now a day's things are different, but I'm still teaching my son's the right way to do it and my daughter to expect it. I guess I am old fashioned.
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    I always believed that whoever did the asking paid for the date. I paid for a few back when I was dating that I invited him out but if he invited me, I expected him to pay. I always enjoyed buying guys drinks at the bar though because of the look of shock on their faces ( It was the South, I guess)
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    Every guy I've ever dated did the asking and expected to pay for dates. If other people want to do it differently, that is fine with me.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Page 12 and nobody gave the right answer to win the iPad mini. The correct answer was....



    the government!
  • LisaMarie8713
    LisaMarie8713 Posts: 310
    Page 12 and nobody gave the right answer to win the iPad mini. The correct answer was....



    the government!

    I gave the right answer but someone deleted my post.... come'on normie, gimme the mini!! lol ;)
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Page 12 and nobody gave the right answer to win the iPad mini. The correct answer was....



    the government!

    I gave the right answer but someone deleted my post.... come'on normie, gimme the mini!! lol ;)

    you can have the mini. And I'd pay for every single date.
  • faceoff4
    faceoff4 Posts: 1,599 Member
    Page 12 and nobody gave the right answer to win the iPad mini. The correct answer was....



    the government!

    I gave the right answer but someone deleted my post.... come'on normie, gimme the mini!! lol ;)

    you can have the mini. And I'd pay for every single date.

    I am with NormInv....all dates should be paid for by the guy!
  • Pink_turnip
    Pink_turnip Posts: 280 Member
    Gender does not apply. If you ask a person out, bring your wallet. If a person asks you out, offer to pay your share. If you find yourself keeping score, you're probably not enjoying the person's company enough to continue.

    It should work for couples much the same as it does among friends.
  • tammys_changing
    tammys_changing Posts: 657
    It really makes no difference to me, it's just money! However, it's very humbling to read that chivalry continues to exisit.
  • operation_cute
    operation_cute Posts: 588 Member
    I don't know if its just my experience, but when I dated a guy who wanted to go "dutch" on the dates he turned out to be a real jerk (not to mention a controlling sociopath) but I didn't find that out till after I married him :p And the guy that paid for our dates ended up being the sweetest man I've ever met (still with him now) Now if I were ever in the "dating" game again, to me a guy not wanting to pay would be a red flag to his personality :p My current boyfriend paid for our dates until we moved in together and started paying bills together... now his money is my money and my money is his... much better than the its all mine attitude my ex husband had.
  • bettyann55
    bettyann55 Posts: 87 Member
    If I invite someone out for dinner, movie or even a coffee, I pay. I have been married for almost 29 years and I have always made this a practise with family and friends. In the end it always evens out as it is always reciprocated.

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