623lbs, Trying to Get Going Again

dania201

Hi Everybody. I posted a while back on the introduction thread here, perhaps useful for background:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/801267-about-600lbs-time-to-lose-a-few

But now that I've been on MFP for a while, I thought maybe I could start posting here too? So admittedly these last few months have been hard for me, I think that deciding to lose weight itself is quite an emotional rollercoaster for me. As much as its hard being the size that I am right now, the actual thought of restricting myself of what I love to be on a diet really sucks, and I think the hardest thing is to actually feel it emotionally ready to be doing it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but its just this murky difficult thing, I think.

So yeah, its kind of crazy, but I feel that the stress of being about to diet has actually been making me a bad eater lately. Or, let's just say it hasn't helped, lol. I sent away for a heavier-duty scale a while back because I figured it would help to have one that works for me, so that I could actually monitor my weight. But since I've had it, I've just watched the number go up.

Today it read 623.

Having now GAINED 10 more pounds since I started at MFP, rather than lose 20 (which was my goal) is a little disheartening. But, yesterday I was under 4,000 calories for the first time, so I'm very proud of that. Any thoughts on how to turn this into a long term success?

Thank you guys for your support! Hopefully I can keep the victories coming.

-Dani

hfester

Get it, girl!

I think you'll find that people will love to support and cheer you on. What you're embarking on is a truly remarkable feat.

Shawnzgirl78

How about just cutting out one thing at a time? Or portions - eat a fraction less than what you normally would..
Starting with the easiest for you?
Add more water, too
Baby steps will ease you in to it and help you do more over time and once you start to see progress.
Adding one more thing to your routine, like make it a goal to do three 10 min walks per week and if you are doing well, adding to it.
I am a slow loser and very much love to eat, so I feel ya..
Doing something is better than nothing!

Capt_Inzane

You've taken the first steps and that's a huge accomplishment!

I agree with others taking baby steps will help you stick with it. Try and pre-portion your meals out and if you have someone you can talk to (US!) it helps to share the up and downs of weight loss.

Stick with it and you'll do amazing things!

nashbear

Dani, I am so glad that you are reaching out again. We know that this is hard. We are all struggling too. I would suggest journaling. Your food intake is very much emotional. You need to deal with your emotions in a different way. Everytime you feel like you need to have the ice cream, etc. journal what you are feeling. I know that food is probably one of your best friends. You need to learn to rely on your other friends because food is not really very nice.

Try exercising 30 seconds at a time. I am sure that walking is very difficult and probably painful. Just remember the more you lose the easier it will be too move.

Did you check out http://www.300poundsdown.com/ ? That woman is amazing. I think reading her blog and the blog of a lot of her followers might help.

DesignerJojo

On some level we are all in the same boat and just trying to paddle against the current. I think looking at the bigger picture can be almost immobilizing for some, so try not to see too far down the road. Focus on today and making the best decisions you can for today. Tomorrow is another day and doesn't need to be thought about right now. One day at a time and one foot in front of the other. You've made the first and most important steps already, by being here, by seeking help and support and by being honest. You CAN do this!
I have to keep telling myself I didn't get overweight over night, it took many many years to get here, so getting back will take time.
I am new here, but am finding the support and encouragement of people fighting the same battle immensely helpful.

Congrats on your success in being here, and your future successes! You are already an inspiration!

Cheers
Jojo

michellekicks

Hi Dani,

I commend you for posting again and seeking some support. Taking control of our nutritional needs isn't easy but it is, indeed, worth every ounce of effort. It IS easier than living a life of obesity, inactivity and illness. There are many success stories here - several, in fact, of people who have lost hundreds of pounds. YOU can be one of them.

I just ran your weight/age through a calorie calculator, and though I don't know your height, your BMR is somewhere around 3400 calories daily. That's a good thing. For now, you can eat at least that and still lose a healthy amount of weight. In fact, even if you are very sedentary, you still burn 4100-4200 calories daily. Actually, by eating as much as you do, you have trained your body to burn a vast amount of calories, so keep that in mind... you don't have to restrict to ridiculous levels to see some results. You just need to bring your intake to less than you're burning by changing up what you're eating.

If you can walk for 10 minutes, 3 times daily, your daily burn goes up to about 4900 calories. If you do that, and can meet a daily calorie goal of about 4000 calories for now, you will begin to see results.

Take every day as an opportunity to learn one new thing - a new recipe, a new way to make a meal that you like with fewer calories, a new realization about why you have been overeating. These are things we ALL have had to learn along the way.

I'd be happy to support you if you'd like to add me.

kmcosgrove115

Hi Dani -

As hard as it seems, you should know how courageous I think you are in just reading your post! It is daunting I am sure - and I agree with that other reply - one step, one goal at a time, for sure.

I am sure you'll hear on here eat at TDEE less 20% but in your case I would think less 30%. Measure and weigh all food to ensure portions and log it ALL in - heck I even logged in a jelly bean on Easter - I am that serious about losing the weight I put on.

As for recommendations, I watched the Forks Over Knives movie on Netflix 2 months ago and it changed my life - I now eat whole food plant based ONLY - no meat, no dairy and no oil and I eat ALOT - many ask, what do you eat??? I respond, what don't I eat???

I just heard from their website today and they are considering posting my story and before and after pics from the 1st 63 days - exciting - but the main point was for HEALTH, alot has changed in my own health issues due to this way of eating.

It's not for everyone and many tend to put weight back on not just from over eating after a diet ends but eating things loaded with oil which has so much fat and not making a real lifestyle shift - I think the biggest thing is not viewing food as this thing that has control over you - you control it, you do not live to eat, you eat to live................switching that mindset is so key and I am still working on that myself...............

I will certainly follow you on your journey and root you on!

Kristen

chocl8girl

I think I may have told you this the last time that you posted, but make sure you always remember that you are loved. You are capable. You can do this. Food is not the enemy. It does not control you. It cannot save you or destroy you. Only you can do that. Pick ONE THING that you will do RIGHT NOW. Whether it's walk around the block, or have one less soda for the day. It does not have to be a big thing. Just DO IT. And then DO IT AGAIN tomorrow. Do it every day for a week. Then look back and see how it wasn't very hard at all. Then KEEP DOING THAT ONE THING, but add something else. Walk farther. Eat one less cookie. Have yet one less soda. Write a positive statement about yourself 10x in a motivational journal.

You are worth it.

MelodyinGa

You go girl!

Definitely don't try to be superwoman! Like others said...one goal at a time! Like decide to drink only water right now. Then maybe cut out french fries...stuff like that. And definitely walk...walk up the street 5 minutes and back 5 minutes.

YOU GOT THIS!

brittanydetert

I agree that the most stressful part is starting, and aplaud you for making that life choice! There have been some great suggestions that have really helped me already, such as cutting out one thing at a time (for me it was energy drinks, a double whammy!) but once I felt comfortable without them, it was easier to look at another unhealthy habit (extra butter popcorn) and say goodbye!

I have also started blogging. I'm sure no one reads them daily, but it makes me feel better getting slip ups off my chest. Once I write about them, I forget about them and get on with life and the healthy lifestyle changes I want.

Best of luck to you, you will do great!

breyn2004

First.... I think it's awesome that you've made the decision to improve your health!

Second.... Try to look at it as a healthy lifestyle and not a diet. It's about living life to it's fullest, not about restricting everything that you love.

Start with small steps as the others have said. Cut back on something here and there and remember .....moderation. Should you choose to become more strict later on down the road, that's okay too, but for now, just make those small changes that aren't too overwhelming. I think once you see the scale move even .5 pound, it will start to encourage you.

I wish you the very best of luck!!

Edit: Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like! We're all here for support and encouragement.

Nmorfitt

I agree completely that we will cheer you on!!! Be my friend!! I also like everyones advise about changing things one at a time. If you change everything all at once you will get frustrated and stressed about it. Take light in the super small victories because they are ultimaley what gets you to your ultimate goal!!

You can do it!!! Ask questions and log everything!!! We are here for you!

justsusin

I am glad your here, I just started too. I hoping good luck for you and will be cheering you on.

rachael726

Hi Dani!


First off, my name is Rachael (hence my very clever username here LOL). You are doing a wonderful thing here by deciding to come back on. There isnt really much I can say that all of the others havent said already.

The only thing I'd say that has helped me significantly in this lifestyle change is to remind myself DAILY that this is NOT a diet..it IS a lifestyle change for me to get healthy for myself first and foremost. I have surrounded myself with positive people (both on MFP and in RL) that are motivating me every step of the way.

You CAN and WILL succeed. I just know it, but you have to believe that yourself.

YOU WILL BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. Feel free to add me, I log in everyday and just celebrated my 105th day of consistent logging My diary is open as well.


Rachael xoxo

lexington87

Dani,
First of all way to go by reaching out. The process is difficult as everyone has said try to look at small goals and as hard as it is try not to stress over the weight aspect right away. Try to start with smaller goals and don't just limit them to food make one to walk around the block twice a week to start. The more you focus on food and what you are stopping/getting rid of the more intimidating and believe it or not mentally the more you think about food and "dieting" the hungrier you will be.

You have a community full of support here and you will get to your goal because you are strong and want it!

KenosFeoh

I remember you.

I agree with most. Change one thing at a time per week. I think the most helpful change is to start logging everything you put into your mouth. I'm still struggling with that. I find myself halfway through eating something that I forgot to measure and log. So then I measure what's left and double it.

Changing bad habits is usually hard work but well worth it.

Best wishes.

HeidiCooksSupper

Don't think of this as a "diet." You and I got big by not eating the right portions. We are learning how to eat normally. Those of us who've been big from childhood never did eat normally. We have tough habits to break. But the alternative is a life of limited activities and an early death.

This is for YOU. You are in charge of how you do this and a whole passel of folks are here to walk beside you.

Start simply by logging everything you eat in the food diary without worrying about how many calories it is. Use that record of what you do on a regular day as your baseline. Then, when you are ready, try a day of eating a bit less, decreasing slowly until 4000 becomes a habit. Open your diary to your friends so we can help (not judge ... HELP).

Do arm raising exercises for starters. Let's face it, those of us with big arms are weight lifting as is. You can worry about getting hand weights later.

Don't let anything or anyone get in your way.

I'm sending you a friend request and am hoping you'll accept. I also hope to see you here tomorrow and the day after that because you (and I) can only do this one day at a time.

myboysaremylife

I would love to help you stay motivated and provide you with encouragement on your journey! I just began actually using MFP since I signed up over a year ago. I have a hard time staying on track myself and am looking for someone to share support. I understand and know that we all fall off from time to time, it's the getting back up and starting it again that is what makes us stronger! This site has shown me that there are so many people that share the same struggles and there is so much love and support! I'm so proud of you! You can do this!! We can do it together!!!

SanteMulberry

We will be here to cheer you forward. If you want some practical suggestions, just ask away.

jzammetti

You inspire me! Congratulations for making this decision for yourself (because you are worth it!)

Everyone else is right - do not try to make so many changes all at once. Calculate your TDEE (it will be off by quite a bit, but it will give you place to begin) and eat at a 20% deficit from that. I think that would be your best first step.

Set your TDEE and log everything. Even if you are over, log it. It will give you information you need to decide what to change first (likely reducing protion size - well, that's what it was for me).

Next change: set your protein macro at 1 gram per pound of lean body mass (an estimate based on your BMR calculation - mine is 125 grams every day) and try to meet that number every day. Let the rest fall where they may. Also, drink lots of water.

These couple of things will be a huge benefit for your progress.

xidia

I'm so pleased to see you posting again and carrying on with the commitment you made.

As the others have said, one thing at a time. What are you favourite few foods? Which are the ones that the thought of "going on a diet" make you sad that you "can't" have? Plan them in. Make sure you have the calories for them. With your numbers, you can eat 2-3x as much as me and still lose weight so you have plenty of scope to include them.

For instance : could you swap out half the cookies at breakfast for something else, like eggs (however you like them) or pancakes with bacon? You'll feel fuller, but you'll still be getting the cookies. Of course, your top foods may be other things entirely, but I hope you can see the idea here. You don't have to deprive yourself of everything, but you'll find losing the weight easier if you add in some more filling choices alongside your current normal food.

One final thing - you will have a phenomenal amount of muscle, because you're carrying around 600lbs on a daily basis. There are professional weightlifters who can't move that much weight! Don't lose it! Walk. Bend. Pick stuff up and put it down again. You don't have start full on resistance/weight training now, but you'll have so much lean mass compared to most women that if you can hold onto it you'll look great as the fat comes off!

Designingwoman1

Hello and congrats for the first step to health! I may not be the best person to give advice, but I went to my MD and he suggested antidepressants to get me started on my "new Life." I feel so much better and I've finally started to lose (15 lbs so far.)
I don't suggest meds are the answer but depression is a real deterrent to a healty life style.
Also, change your normal activities. Being with my darling grand nephew has cheered me up!
Laughter is the best medicine! Good Luck and God Bless!

StephTheBookworm

Baby steps to start!! Walk a few minutes if you can, until you can do more... cut back a little on the calories until you can cut back more.

You are courageous and you have taken the first step! Keep on stepping!

escloflowneCHANGED

Try and eat more "clean foods" not because it's healthier per say but because they don't have a lot of calories in them and you can eat a lot of them, once you start seeing the weight drop you will get much more into it and your mentality will change!

retiree2006

Yes, you have a big challenge ahead of you. However, as others have said, each little change will help. Set small goals, day by day and be proud of yourself for deciding to get going again. We'd be proud to celebrate with you along the way. You already know there will be days that don't go so well but that's no reason to feel it's not going to get better. Do whatever movement you are able to, whether it's arm exercises and lifting your feet or something else. Use healthy foods to help fill you up. Most of all, know that there are those who care about how you're doing and you're worth the effort it will take. And taking one day at a time helps...but it will also be exciting to see where you're at one year from today. And to get there, you have to start! Wishing you the best!

kbeech06

Hi Dani!
Its so great that you've decided to come back! You've made a decision that we've all made. Its hard...I know I struggle every day! But, you've made the first step and that's what matters!! I would love to be your friend to help encourage you along the way!!! :flowerforyou:

Noodle797

I know how you feel. I hate "diets". I started out by changing 1 small thing at a time. I used to eat McDonald's for breakfast every day, now I changed to eating breakfast at home. A bowl of multigrain Dulce de Leche (caramel) or Peanut butter Cheerios. At first I was eating a huge bowl, but it was still less calories than what I was eating before. Now I'm down to a normal size bowl & I'm actually used to eating less now. I also started adding little bits of exercize, like parking a little further away at the grocery store, walking (slowly) around the block, stuff like that. I found that if I just made little changes here and there instead of trying to go extreme right away I was a lot more sucessful. Also, I adapted the South Beach Diet in that I switched to whole grain pasta, bread & brown rice & got rid of sugar. It wasn't all at once, but little changes. I should probably reduce my portions further, but I hate feeling hungry all the time, so that has been a lot slower than the other changes, but I use tips like drinking a glass of water before eating, eating a salad before the main meal & waiting 15-20 minutes before going back for seconds to see if I'm really hungry. There's a great book called "Change One" put out by Reader's Digest that I would suggest, a lot of really great ideas in there. http://www.amazon.com/Change-One-Diet-Fitness-Expanded/dp/B001QFZM06/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366214701&sr=8-1&keywords=reader's+digest+change+one

simplyeater

Looks like you have taken the first step, now you just have to keep taking the next ones. I noticed on your profile you haven't filled in your reasons and motivations sections. As you noted weight loss is actually more of a mental challenge than a physical one. I think it is important to be clear on exactly why you want to lose weight and how you are going to do it. Getting that out into the open and being able to see it in black and white makes the process more real, more personal, and more achievable. Take some time to think about your main reasons and maybe make a couple of small goals (non-scale related) for yourself for the remainder of this year and post them in your profile. I hope this helps you with your next steps!

loriwhitefaith

Id love to support you on your journey. Please feel free to add me as a friend. You have set a goal. That is the first step. CONGRATULATIONS for reaching out to MFP again. Do it as many times as it takes. never give up!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

irisheagle

Dani,

I know how hard it is to start. But you've started and that's the most important thing. This may sound cliche but take it one meal at a time. Don't worry about the whole day and all the choices to make. Just one meal. Once you've made the right choice in 1 meal it may encourage you to feel great about that. And you should! It is a challenge to change and move away from our comfort zone. But, what a zone it is when you arrive to your goal.
My other advise is hope is not a strategy. I used to hope and wish and almost think I could will the weight away. Time after time I was pulling the wool over my own eyes and sabotoging myself. In some cases because I just didn't know what a portion size was. In may cases I still don't. Otherwise I wouldn't be trying to lose weight again.
You've already made the biggest leap which is reaching out. So, believe in yourself because I do!